(no subject)
I have finally come to a conclusion :
I am probably the most miserable person alive. Everything I live for is a contradiction to what I do. I want to go to college for theater, minor in visual arts. Become famous. Or know someone who is famous that I can mooch off of.
But all I do is sleep and think about doing drugs or drinking, but getting really lazy and end up sleeping. That's fucking lame. If that isn't lame, then I can't tell you what is. I'm not bothered by that. I kind of like it. But I'm only digressing.
I'd really like a boyfriend. Well, not really. At all. They're bothersome. But. But but but. It would be fantastic to have someone to spend my time with. You know, like holding hands and small kisses. Having someone like me and being able to return the favor. Andreas tells me a lot of kids like me, but they're all probably not what I'm looking for. I actually kind of like someone. And by like, I mean I really dont like them, but they'd be a top choice in the boyfriend category. But it's going nowhere, so whatever.
Sometimes I wish I was depressed again. People ignored me more. I didn't have to talk to them. It made things a lot easier. My room was a lot cleaner then. Music sounded a lot more real. I payed closer attention to detail. The more complicated I became, the simpler the world looked and was. I'm not sure what any of this is supposed to mean.
So now. I'm sitting in my room. I woke up an hour ago. There's a Lizzie McGuire marathon on. I might go to the mall by myself and buy some clothes. yeah alright bye.