After Midnight Extended Verson
Remus Lupin was sitting in the kitchen getting piss drunk as Sirius would say. He was never the kind to get drunk until the day he lost everything that ever mattered to him; his mother, his best friends, his home, and Lily Evans. The werewolf was forced to retreat to Grimmauld Place the home that had so many bittersweet memories. It was here that Lily said yes to him after her devastation over her breakup with Sirius. It was here that she broke it off to be with James; it was here that he received the news of her murder.
Sirius was his everything, friend, family, confidant, lover, the only one who truly loved him and understood him, now he too was gone leaving him alone to deal with the cold world alone. In his desperation to be close to Sirius he became close to the last relative that remained who he loved with all his heart, his cousin and former lover Tonks. He truly did like Tonks, she was brave, loyal, and fearless in her desire to make the world a better place. And for reasons he could not fathom she loved him. Remus was using her and he knew it was unfair to her but he could never stop himself. He needed her to ease his pain and grief by being close to his beloved for a little while.
He rose and went up to Tonks’s room reasonably well thank Merlin for his werewolf mentality; he did not want anyone to know of his despicable and unfair practices that he was so ashamed of at night. He sighed crawled into bed put her arm around his Lily and inhaled her sweet smelling red hair.
“Lily?”
“Yes love?”
“please forgive me”
“for what?”
“for failing you and James. “
“There is nothing to forgive darling”
Sirius was his everything, friend, family, confidant, lover, the only one who truly loved him and understood him, now he too was gone leaving him alone to deal with the cold world alone. In his desperation to be close to Sirius he became close to the last relative that remained who he loved with all his heart, his cousin and former lover Tonks. He truly did like Tonks, she was brave, loyal, and fearless in her desire to make the world a better place. And for reasons he could not fathom she loved him. Remus was using her and he knew it was unfair to her but he could never stop himself. He needed her to ease his pain and grief by being close to his beloved for a little while.
He rose and went up to Tonks’s room reasonably well thank Merlin for his werewolf mentality; he did not want anyone to know of his despicable and unfair practices that he was so ashamed of at night. He sighed crawled into bed put her arm around his Lily and inhaled her sweet smelling red hair.
“Lily?”
“Yes love?”
“please forgive me”
“for what?”
“for failing you and James. “
“There is nothing to forgive darling”