O, Mistress Mine, Where Are You Roaming?
Every time he leaves it's like a mini break-up: we give back most of the stuff we've accumulated that belongs to the other, say goodbyes, he leaves, and I won't see him for a usually unspecified amount of time. This time... felt different, though, things are sour between us, for the stupidest reasons.
Was I overreacting? Yes, for sure, but he should have known better.
Incredibly stupid story short: He did something relatively harmless which made me feel disregarded, disrespected, and hurt, so I flew off the handle because of it, and we fought. Pretty hard. We're still kind of fighting, actually.
I know it's not entirely fair or helpful to be giving him the slightly frosty shoulder that I am, but it's making me think. I'm starting to wonder if we're going to work out, and not just because of this, it's just more what this represents: an inherent difference in what we want out of life and how we communicate. Eventually, he wants to be married, and although he's said he could do without them, he's said before that he wants kids. I don't want either. It also highlighted the communication problems we have, namely that I feel like he rarely listens to me. He was surprised when I got so upset, even though we'd had conversations about what happened (before it happened) where I made my feelings on the subject known.
I don't know how much longer we're going to last, and it scares the shit out of me.
Though, this isn't the first time we've almost broken up, so maybe this will blow over like the first time did. I need to learn to curb my temper, so discussing issues we disagree on doesn't just turn into a shouting match with me in furious, resentful tears and him hurt and angry, but he needs to learn to listen without getting condescending or preachy.