I am posting this for my Batsu because I asked him to write it
There was a commotion goin on next door in the shitty old house that had been empty for a couple a months. The old guy that had always lived there had died of emphysema awhile back. Ornery ol’ fucker. Takin his oxygen off to go outside for a cigarette an yellin at the kids an cats that had wandered too close to his yard for his liking. I hated him. I’d broken out his windows once when I was probably seven. When they found out it was me, my dad had taken me over and told him I was his to do whatever he felt like so he whooped my ass with his cane and everything and turned me back over to my parents who finished the job for him.
Since he had died, though, it had sat empty and I’d broken out the windows again, even though I was now fifteen. I wasn’t anymore grown up than I was at seven. Sometimes I felt like I was never gonna get older. In my head, anyway. I was always bein immature and doin stupid shit and I couldn’t control myself for the life a me. Even sometimes while I was in the middle a doin somethin stupid, I could see it all from somewhere inside a me and I wanted to scream at myself to knock it off. But I couldn’t. Once I got started, it was futile to try an stop me.
I was standin out by our little one car garage that was useless, as my parents could never keep a car for very long. Always buyin shitty junkers, as they were the only thing they could afford, and then they’d be dead after a couple a months anyway. And even if they could keep one, the garage was full a shit anyway. Old, rotting junk that needed to be thrown away. Or better yet, burned, along with the whole house. I was watchin these two people, who looked to be about my parents’ age, goin back and forth from the car to the house, carryin shit. They looked like trash, also like my parents. I thought they’d probably get along real well with them. Well in the sense that they’d have drunken brawls every weekend and then be fine by Monday. You know, probably cheat on each other with each other an then duke it out an try to ruin each others lives and then the week after, get drunk again an tell everyone how much they loved each other for a good hour or so.
A loud crash from inside the house caused me to look up an then I hear the lady start in on someone.
“You stupid bitch! Look what you did! You should have been an abortion!”
An I snorted at that because it was pretty funny, but I kinda hoped the kid wasn’t too little, ‘cause then that’d mean I’d probably have to be watchin out for em and I didn’t really feel like doin that.
“No, she just dropped it!” I heard the lady yellin again.
“You stupid bitch!” And now her old man was yellin at her too. She was gettin it from both sides, poor kid. “You think you can just break other people’s things? You useless fucking bitch!”
An then I heard her voice. “Aah! Itaitaitaitai!” Even though it was pretty high pitched, I could tell she was at least a teenager, probably. An then I got to thinkin maybe she’d be hot and I’d have a l’il neighbor girl to bang when I needed it.
“Just get the fuck out! You’re no help anyway! Just go!”
And I took another drag of the cigarette as I kept my eyes on the house, waitin for this girl to come out. And she did, by way of her old man dragging her out by her hair. Long, pretty hair. He kinda chucked her and she stumbled a little before regainin her footing and well, I was kinda just stuck there starin with my lungs full a smoke. She was…beautiful. Unlike any girl I had ever seen. I’d had my fair share a tail, and with some pretty hot chicks to boot, but…this girl…she was different. I could tell right away. She was all thin and willowy like a ballerina and her face…it was so pretty. Like a sweet little doll. Big ol sad eyes that made me feel week, a tiny little nose and pretty, full lips. Shit…I was a goner.
Her eyes suddenly caught mine and she looked embarrassed an I knew I had to say somethin to her. So I tried to be as cool as I could as I blew out the smoke I was still holding and head nodded her.
“’Sup?” I said and she looked a little confused an I laughed at how cute she looked. “I’m Orochi,” I said in Japanese. “I live here. What’s your name?”
She seemed a bit flustered with how casually I was talking to her and it made me wanna push all her buttons if she was gonna look that damn cute when I did it.
“I’m Yuri,” she said, “It’s nice to meet you.”
I took another drag and smirked at her as I looked her up and down. The skirt she was wearin wasn’t too short or anything, but it sent my imagination reeling. I watched her blush under my gaze. God, she was just so precious. I wanted to freakin pick her up an rock her or somethin.
“Nice to meet you too. You got a pretty little name, Yuri.”
And oh, it was like the angels singing as she blushed again and I wasn’t sure if I could hold myself back from rockin her if she was gonna keep that up.
“Thank you.”
“How old are you?”
“Almost fifteen,” she said and those sad eyes peeked at me and I nearly fell over. Her voice was just as sweet as she looked an I wanted to hear her say my name.
“Ah, so we’ll go to school together. I’m fifteen. I’m glad you moved in next to me, Yuri. That means I’ll be seein a lot of you. That makes me real happy.”
And her smile with those sad eyes just about knocked me out.
“Thank you, Orochi.” Ah, shit. There it was. Now I wanted to make her scream it. Somethin about her, though…made me feel like I wanted to respect her or some weird shit. “You seem like a very nice boy.”
An I wasn’t, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her right then.
“Hey, if your parents ever get too…you know? Smackin you around an shit, you can always come over to my place. The first window around the back a the house is my room. You can come knock on it whenever an come inside.”
She blushed again and if she was blushin over bein in a boy’s room then, dear god, I was gonna have ta work for this.
“That’s really nice of you. Thank you.”
I waved it away as I chucked my cigarette. “I get it. My parents are always kickin the shit outta me too.”
And then she smiled again. That pretty little smile with those big, sad eyes an I melted.
“You really are a nice boy.” An I still couldn’t tell her she was wrong.
“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Her father interrupted us, then and I sent a head nod his way with a most likely snotty look on my face as I couldn’t muster up any kinda fake niceness at the moment. He was a dick an I already knew it. Smackin around his pretty, sweet little daughter… He stopped short with this look on his face like he was tryna decide whether or not to start somethin with me, which I was fine with if he wanted to. Bring it on. But he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed Yuri’s arm and started pullin her back toward the house. “Stay away from my daughter,” he said and I laughed, as we’d been pretty far the fuck apart and barely said hey and he didn’t know me anyway. So he could fuck off. He didn’t say anything to it. Just continued to drag Yuri back to the house. I could hear him saying “Even though there’s nothing in your bedroom yet, you’re grounded, so go sit in there” and I just really couldn’t imagine that the sweet little thing I’d just spoken to had done anything to warrant that. Fucker.
It was fine because the next time I saw her was really soon. That weekend. I’d had plans to go out and raise hell with some buddies, but…for some reason, I just didn’t feel like it. And I was pretty sure why. My parents had already started up a fuckin rager with some a their buddies and Yuri’s parents and I sat in my room thinkin how annoying they all were and wonderin why in the fuck I hadn’t just gone with my friends. But I knew… I did. I just wanted to talk to Yuri again. I hoped that she was home because I was tryna work up the courage to go over there and talk to her. She made me feel some type a way. I mean…just…like I wanted to be the nice boy that she thought I was. An here I was needin a beer in me just to go over an talk to her an if that didn’t tell ya I wasn’t a nice boy, I don’t know what did.
I left my bedroom, goin down the hall to the kitchen where all the idiots were hangin out.
“Hey buddy.” I cringed inwardly at the sound of Uncle Joe’s voice, but I didn’t show it on the outside as I went to the fridge and opened it up. “What are you doing home?”
Ugh…
I grabbed a beer and closed the fridge, turning around to almost run right into him. Fuckin’ douche.
“No plans tonight?” he tried again and I gave him this look that I hoped showed just how pathetic I thought he was.
“Look, I ain’t fuckin ya, if that’s what your gettin at,” I said. “I thought we established as soon as I could fuckin fight back, we were donesies.”
And he looked like he felt ashamed or somethin. Ashamed a what, I have no idea. It obviously wasn’t over fuckin me, since he’d done it for years on end, even when I cried and begged him not to.
“Orochi, I…I wish we could have our time back,” he said and what the fuck was that supposed to mean? “I miss our fishing trips and the hardware store and-”
“And your dick in my orifices,” I cut him off, rolling my eyes. “Fuck outta here. Don’t talk to me. You make me sick.”
And I walked around him, cracking open my beer and trying to flick the lid into the garbage can, but missing. There were caps all around it, so I didn’t bother picking up mine.
“Hey, where you going?” My mother grabbed the sleeve of my shirt as I tried to go out the back door. I wanted to fuckin slap her. She was in that particular drunken mood where she liked to pretend that she didn’t hate me for some reason. “You have to meet our new neighbors! They moved in two days ago and they have a daughter your age!”
“Yeah? Ain’t that somethin,” I said and Yuri’s dad looked at me all irritated.
“Tell him not to speak English around me,” he said and I laughed.
“Aw, how come? It make you feel stupid?”
“Orochi!” My mother sloppily slapped out at me and barely caught my chin and I tried to shrug her grip off of me. “You be nice to the new neighbors!”
“What did he say?” Yuri’s father was asking and I just wanted the fuck outta there.
“Ma, I wanna go have a cigarette outside,” I said. “Can ya let me go?”
And bleh… I did not like the look on her face. It was all like…emotional or somethin. And then she took my goddamn face in her hands and I’d had just about enough of all this.
“You’re growing up so handsome,” she said and that was just not her. She was drunk and I think she was tryna look good in front of the neighbors or somethin, but I was not havin it. “My baby is almost a grown up.” Say what? “I love you. You go have your fun. Do whatever important thing it was that you were gonna do.” And then she kissed me on the forehead!! And I had zero conscious memory of her ever doing that.
“All right, ma,” I said, pulling away from her and holding all of my anger in when all I wanted to do was lay her the fuck out right there in the kitchen. “I’ll have fun. Y’all have fun too.” And I heard her obnoxious retort of “Oh, you know we will!” and I went out the backdoor.
There were a couple of chairs out back. Sometimes they’d sit out there and light a small fire while they drank. Luckily, they weren’t there now and I went out to sit in one. I lit up a cigarette and took swigs from my beer as I did. I really wanted to talk to Yuri, but I was afraid if I did, she’d realize it. That I was a piece of shit. I was one of those douche bag boys that she should stay away from. I didn’t want to be like that with her, though. She was just…so…pretty. But it wasn’t even that. There was just somethin about her. She was special.
The back door suddenly burst open, slamming back against the house. It was my mother and she looked pissed.
“Orochi, did you drink all the fuckin beer?” she asked and that was more like it. That was my mother.
I held up the beer I was currently almost finished with. “This is the only one I’ve had, woman.”
“Well we’re already running low!”
“Well I guess that’s your own damn fault, isn’t it?” And she looked like she was gonna blow. I tried not to laugh. “Tell Joe to go pick more up. He didn’t seem that drunk when I was talking to him.”
She stared at me for a minute with this angry look like any of it was my fault and then she went back inside, slamming the door behind her.
I shook my head and then tipped it back, finishing off my beer. The door opened again and I expected it to be my mother again, but it wasn’t and I kinda wished it was. It was Uncle Joe.
We stared at each other for a minute and I got annoyed.
“What?”
“You wanna run to the store with me?” he asked and I was finna scream. It was a fuckin loony bin up in here. “I gotta make a beer run. I’ll get you something if you want.”
“Only thing you’re gonna get is a fat fuckin lip, you talk to me again,” I said, and I saw the look in his eye. It was fear. I’d kicked the shit out of him a little over a year ago. Broke bones and everything. All of my anger had just come out and I’d wasted him.
He looked sad for a minute and then he went back inside. I felt like I was gonna blow. I could feel it just building up inside a me.
I threw my beer bottle as hard as I could and let out a long yell. When it died off, I felt a little better. And then I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and I looked to the neighbor’s house to see Yuri peeking out of a window. She hurriedly ducked inside when she saw me lookin. And goddammit, I was gonna go talk to her. I needed somethin nice to make up for all the shit I’d just put up with. Not to mention, she was the whole reason I’d stayed home in the first place.
I stood up and walked over to the window I’d seen her in, knocking when I reached it. After a couple of seconds, the curtains moved aside and there she was. Ah, fuck. Oh, she was even prettier than the last time I’d seen her. She was. I wouldna believed it if I hadna seen it myself. She smiled and I smiled back, probably a little drunkenly, and she opened the window.
“Hi Orochi,” she said and I just wanted to kiss her, dammit. Just kiss her on those big, pretty, soft lookin lips a hers.
“Hey pretty girl,” I said and she blushed. “I wanna eat your pussy,” I said in English and she laughed.
“What does that mean?” she asked and I shook my head, feelin like an asshole for havin said it, but it was the truth, dammit.
“Nothing,” I told her. “It just means you’re lookin real good today.”
“Were you drinking?” she asked and I thought I heard a slightly disapproving tone and I panicked.
“Just one,” I quickly said. “I only had one. I just…felt real nervous to come and talk to you, so I had to have some liquid courage.” I laughed but she didn’t and I felt all frantic again.
“I don’t like how alcohol makes people behave,” she said and I wanted her to know that I wasn’t like her stupid fuckin parents.
“I wouldn’t hit you,” I said and I thought I saw a hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth. “Ever. I wouldn’t. And I also wouldn’t even say mean things to ya. I mean, even if you maybe made me mad, which I don’t think you could ever do, I think I’d probably just wanna hug you real tight and just squish the anger out.”
And she laughed! The cutest little laugh I’d ever heard! Like, shut the fuck up!
I laughed with her because it was just the cutest thing of ever.
“Orochi…” and she was suddenly lookin right in my eyes and I was frozen, starin right back. Oh, it made me feel so fuckin strange in the best way. Like I was bein hypnotized. Like I never wanted to look away from those pretty sad eyes ever as long as I lived. “You are such a nice boy.”
“No I ain’t,” I said and I hadn’t meant to say it, but it just came out and it was gonna keep comin out, I could tell. “I ain’t, Yuri. I’m just a fuckin piece of trash that drinks and smokes and cusses and…and other stuff.” At least I’d had my wits about me enough to stop before I told her about all the fuckin I did. “And you’re just…the prettiest little flower I ever did see. And sweet on top a that and…I just feel like I’m not even good enough to talk to ya, but I want to. Real bad. I wanna get to know you, Yuri.”
And she smiled with those pretty sad eyes starin into mine.
“I would like that too, Orochi,” she said and I was actually surprised. I’d been expectin her to close the window or somethin. “And please…don’t say those bad things about yourself. You seem so sweet and kind and it makes me feel sad to hear you say mean things about yourself. Let’s…let’s work on that, okay? Let’s work on being nice to Orochi.”
And my eyes were like, finna water because it was the nicest thing that anyone had ever said to me in my entire fuckin life. And if she was still gonna talk to me and get to know me, I would do whatever I could for her.
“I’ll do whatever you need me to,” I said. “You want me to be nice to Orochi, I’ll try real hard to be nice to Orochi.”
And she giggled again and I just wanted to take her face in my hands and kiss her soft on the mouth but she wasn’t that kind of girl and I could already tell that.
“Can you come hang out?” I asked her. “We can just sit out here and talk.”
She looked upset. Like she wanted to really badly, but…
“I’m grounded,” she said. “I would really love to, but…I’m grounded.”
“Well just come out anyway,” I laughed. “They’re all in there gettin drunk. They won’t even know. We can go for a walk if you want. You’ll be back before they even go home.”
She looked around nervously and I laughed.
“Come on. It’ll be fun.” Any other girl and this woulda been in the bag. But she wasn’t any other girl.
She looked at me sadly. “I’m sorry, Orochi. I just… I can’t risk it. I’m already in trouble and it’ll be much worse if they catch me not in my room.”
Damn.
“Okay,” I said all pouty and everything and she looked real apologetic. “I guess I’ll have to understand. But can I stand here and talk to ya?”
She smiled and nodded. “I would love that. One minute, okay? I’ll be right back.” And she disappeared from the window and I wondered what she was doin. She was back real quick, though, so I didn’t have much time to wonder. She had a wet cloth in her hand. “You have some blood on your nose,” she said. “It makes me feel sad when I look at it. Can I clean it up for you?”
And what? There was this hitch in my chest at all of it. I always had blood on me somewhere. I usually wiped it off with the back a my hand or my shirt or somethin, but there was always some left behind. It had become almost like a part a me. A part a me that I hated because it was like defeat. Since I was a little boy. And no one had ever wanted to clean me up. I’d always had to do it myself. I think she could see it in my eyes that it was makin me feel some type a way because she smiled so gently.
“This is gonna be part of being nice to Orochi, okay?”
And my god, she was the sweetest thing.
I leaned forward slightly and she put her hand so freakin softly on the side of my face while she gently washed the blood off of me. I was dyin at her touch. It was the most precious thing and it honestly made me wanna cry. When she pulled back, she smiled.
“There. Much better.”
“Thank you,” I said and my voice was real quiet ‘cause I was worried it was gonna be all shaky or somethin and she just stared in my eyes an smiled.
We talked for a long time. She told me about her best friend that she had to leave behind and how much she missed her. I asked her if she had a phone and she said she didn’t so I told her I’d get her one. She told me I didn’t have to do that, but I wanted to. I wanted to talk to her as much as I could.
And then…every day, it was just kinda like that. We went to school together and ate lunch together and we just really started spendin a lot a time together.
And she’d always clean me up whenever I had blood on me. I don’t think she coulda ever known how much I needed that. What it did for me to know that someone cared about something that had bothered me since I was a little boy. Like an open wound that everyone could see but no one would soothe. And now she was doin it for me.
She was a good girl. She really was. I’d make her blush all the damn time without even tryin to. The first time I held her hand when we walked home from school, she was so nervous about it, it was adorable.
And then, came the day my dad had just busted me up real good. He was on the crystal and like, had his super human strength on an everything and he fucked me up real good. I dragged my sorry ass out to the backyard after it was all over and Yuri was out there, taking care of some of the stray little kittens that had been running around.
She gasped when she saw me. “Orochi! Oh my god!”
I laughed, even though it hurt to do it. “I’m all right. Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you kidding me?” And she really did sound worried. She hurriedly stood up and all of the kitty cats scattered as she came toward me. “What happened?” But she knew what had happened. Her eyes said she was so sorry and I just shook my head. It was life. It was whatever. “Come inside. My parents are both at work. They won’t be home until later.”
And I don’t know why, but those words got me some sorta excited. Not like I was gettin laid or anything. I mean, she was Yuri. The sweetest little thing of ever. Total good girl.
She reached out and took my hand and I suddenly didn’t hurt anywhere anymore. I mean…it was legit. Nothin hurt as soon as she touched me. She was an angel. She was my angel.
We went inside and she took me to her room and directed me to sit on her bed and like, I was feelin kinda fucked up. Like, I was a fifteen year old boy sittin on this gorgeous girl’s bed and we were in the house alone together. Like, I was mad horny. I really was. But I knew I had to keep my cool because she was a good girl and I didn’t wanna scare her. And I didn’t want to ruin it because I felt like I maybe had a pretty good shot here, in the long run. And I know I was only fifteen, but Yuri…she made me think about the long run.
She rounded up some supplies and took to takin care of my wounds an somethin felt different. Really, since she’d taken my hand outside, somethin had felt…different. Like…like there was somethin in the air that I could feel on my skin. And I think she could feel it too because she was avoidin my eyes as I stared at her while she cleaned me up and put medicine on my wounds. And her breathin…it was a little different. And that got me all fucked up. I wanted her to look at me so badly, but she wouldn’t and it was drivin me insane.
When she was all done, she still wouldn’t look at me as she asked “Does that feel a little better?”
And she was nervous, I could tell. But why was she nervous? She an I had become real close over the last little while.
“Nah, it still hurts,” I said and that finally did it. She looked at me. And there was a question in her eyes. I smiled at her and she looked all flustered and I couldn’t. She was just so fuckin cute. “Can you kiss em better?” I asked. “I think they’ll feel better if you give em kisses.”
And she was fighting a smile as she leaned forward and kissed the cut on my eyebrow.
“Oh yeah, much better,” I said and she laughed softly before taking my face so gently in her hands and kissing the one on my cheekbone. Then she kissed the tip of my nose and she pulled back.
“How’s that?” she asked and I knew my lip was split open. Our eyes were locked and there was electricity in the air as I shook my head.
“You missed one,” I said and I pointed at my lip and I watched her debating in her head what to do. She wanted to, I could tell. I think she was just afraid, but she didn’t need to be afraid of me and I was going to show her that.
And then she leaned forward, that little smile still on her face, and she kissed my lip so softly I thought I was gonna melt. When she tried to pull away, I leaned forward and full on kissed her and she let me. Took my face in her hands again and kissed me back and oh my god, it was so much different than all of the other girls I’d kissed. My head was spinnin. This was it. I was in love.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap so she was straddling me and she gasped and whispered “Orochi…I’m scared… I don’t want you to think of me like that.”
And I said “Think of you like what, baby? I love you!”
And I know we were only kids, but I meant it with everything in me. And I guess she felt the same way because all caution was thrown to the wind as she whimpered into our kiss and became a little frantic for me.
And that was it. After that, Yuri was my girl. She was my love. She became my whole life. And one night, as I made myself at home between her legs, I told her what I’d said to her in English all that time ago as I spoke to her through the window. Told her I had no idea just how sweet she was gonna taste.
Yuri and I were all each other had and the both of us kinda threw ourselves into it headfirst. I kinda don’t like to think about what might have happened, had she not died, because she and I were not meant for one another. I’d rather remember how sweet it was. How important it was. How she saved me, even though she probably had no idea she was doin it at the time. In some ways, I wish I coulda saved her. But knowing what I know now, I know that it was supposed to happen that way. She was a happy time in my life and so it really is nice to remember her sometimes. Lucky I have my sweet little moon baby to remind me.