Comments | billy_gerardluv: I remember

billy_gerardluv

I remember

Apr 24, 2019 21:05

I believed it
With my whole heart
I SAW him
I HEARD him
It was so real to me
That I put myself in serious danger sometimes
Because it was really happening to me
I was so frightened
More than I wasn't
So my mind had to do acrobatics
To make sense of it all
To save it from shutting down
Completely
There was a large chunk of my life
Where I didn't know
My mind ( Read more... )

Comments 10

billy_gerardluv April 25 2019, 19:03:51 UTC

but...if all the other stuff wasn't true, then why would that one thing be? ugh...you don't have to acknowledge that. i'm sorry i'm so horrid. yagi isn't here right now, but if he comes around...i think i'll punch him. i'll punch him right in the stomach. oh, my batsu is just...he's really just holding me together. he is so, so good to me. and he is my light. he is my safety. he is my everything. i need him so much right now. i will do that, papa. i promise. i need him so much and i'll never ever stop focusing on him. ever. as long as we live. because he helps me to exist. oh, i'm so sorry i am causing such trouble, papa. i really am ( ... )

billy_gerardluv April 25 2019, 19:16:26 UTC

Well... papa believes there is much more truth to it than you do right now. So it doesn't seem strange to me at all. But I have seen some incredibly strange things in my life, so... all things considered. Well baby, that is just something Yagi will have to deal with. He can't blame you at all, and I know he won't. If that's what you need to do, then I say go for it. I am happy to hear that you are focusing on Batsu. That is the best thing, I think :) He will always help you shine as bright as you can and that makes me so happy. You aren't causing trouble, baby. I wish you could see that, it is nothing that you are causing. Papa isn't put out any, and i know mama and Batsu feel the same way ( ... )

billy_gerardluv April 25 2019, 19:34:05 UTC

my batsu believes that too. he said that he doesn't believe in me any less now than he did then and i always loved looking into his eyes because i could see that he DID believe me. and i can see that he still does now. he is just so very good to me. he is like my hero.
oh, i'm sure yagi won't blame me. insert eye roll. he thinks everything i do is just wonderful. so whatever. he'll probably like it. big dumb dumb. batsu and i are just working on our japanese and having a good time because i am getting it. and i said batsu no kao wa kakkoii! and it made him happy. oh papa...i just feel like it. i feel like a great big bratty troublemaker. batsu says i'm not, but he's always nice to me.
oh good! i'm glad he is happier! i don't want him to be sad! of course i will be nice :) he is my friend and he is my kaz and my take's boyfriend!
haha...sora said it's him and he made me laugh. oh papa...that made me get tears. i just love you, okay? you all are the best family in the whole world. i am so very lucky. i love all of you so so much.

billy_gerardluv April 25 2019, 20:16:15 UTC

Papa is with Batsu. I don't believe in you any less. I love that Batsu, he sure is special and so absolutely necessary. What a great hero to have :) We love him lots! I am glad you are having a nice time working on your Japanese, little smarty. Batsu's face certainly is handsome :) You'll know more than me in no time! And baby, Batsu is right, he isn't just being nice to you, you're not a big bratty troublemaker. I promise you that. Sometimes we hit rough patches and it is not intentional, all of us know that, so try not to worry about it. Just let us keep loving you :)
Oh! Rudy's right ear just popped a bit, too, right as I am typing, he feels even happier. Perhaps that new stuff is working. He said he is very happy that he is your friend and that he will buy more lotion tissues when we go to the store since he has used so many!
Now Sora... i said I wasn't naming names :p I just love you, too, Moon Baby. WE are the best family in the world, you included. We wouldn't be the best without you. We will be coming home soon :) I love

billy_gerardluv April 25 2019, 20:29:19 UTC

ah, papa! then she asked sore wa nan desu ka? and i said kore wa watashi no batsu desu! and it made him happy again :) it's really making me feel happy to work on it. i like it. haha, i will not know more than you! haha, you're silly ( ... )