Comments | billystarpip: Fanfic for 14 Valentines

billystarpip

Fanfic for 14 Valentines

Feb 14, 2007 11:02

Title: Just a Dream.
Rating:PG-13
Summary: (House MD) House always come home to the one he loves the most.

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Comments 4

entigral February 15 2007, 03:37:27 UTC

teehee. :)

billystarpip February 15 2007, 05:24:01 UTC

Glad you liked it! :)

joereaves March 28 2007, 04:55:51 UTC

Evil :)

It's good though and House is pretty much in character which doesn't seem to happen too much in House fic.

Can I make a couple of suggestions?

I know you're keeping the lover as a surprise in the first part but try replacing a couple of the 'his lover's with 'him'. If you pick the right ones it won't be confusing and it got a tiny bit repetetive.

And a spelling mistake - last but one paragraph, you have 'should' where you mean 'shoulder'

I love the twist at the end and the fact that House was as scared by the happy home idea as by it being Chase :D He's so not the domestic type (thank goodness)

billystarpip March 28 2007, 11:34:43 UTC

Thanks for the suggestions! I think I've fixed most of them. And, while I usually don't mind House in a domestic scene (or with Chase), I know those a little too AU for most of the fandom. ^_^ Glad you liked it!