Letter to Alex - XF, M/K, PG-13
For the contrelamontre 'Letter' challenge.
Title: Letter To Alex
Author: Meixia bionic
Fandom: X-Files
Pairing: Mulder/Krycek
Challenge: the Letter challenge
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Please don't sue/kill me.
Rating: PG-13
Author's note: I hope this meets the challenge. Written in an hour and twenty minutes (I got up and did some stuff, then sat back down and finished writing it.) It's still pretty short. I blame this on insomnia. A post-colonization fic. I apologize beforehand for the high sap content. Feedback much appreciated!
Alex -
It’s cold here. I guess this is what living with the rats is like, living underground like this. Good thing I burned all my Armani suits, they wouldn’t have survived the grime and sewage water anyway. Skinner says I’m not eating enough. I don’t think it really matters how skinny I am - we’re all pretty much a sack of bones. Have just enough meals to get by, but it’s not that bad.
I think about the old days sometimes. It’s not as painful now, the memories dulled by time and rusted around the edges. My decaying mind even manages to supply a few white lies to blot out the harsh stab of betrayal I had felt back then, a time when I thought the trust between us was tenuous at best but not enough to warrant my rampant paranoia. We can all laugh at how wrong I was, now.
Scully visited me the other day, braving the raging fires outside and the dead bodies to see me. Her face was covered by soot when she arrived, puffing all the while like she’d been running for her life. Yet she stood composed in another minute, and she smoothed her fiery hair back, prim and proper as always.
She said to me, “Mulder, why don’t you come back with me to the safe-house? You don’t have to be here on the frontlines anymore. You’re too valuable, Mulder.” She pleaded with her eyes, and I saw the Scully from long ago hidden behind the rubble of the years.
“Mulder, please.”
But I shook my head. It wasn’t that simple. I apologized and told her I couldn’t do what she’d asked. She looked about ready to protest, but Skinner walked in on our conversation and then she was hurried back out and away, leaving me, always leaving Fox Mulder behind. I’m always left behind in the end, aren’t I? I can’t say I haven’t gotten used to it.
Scully’s doing fairly well for someone in her position. She’s skin and bones, but still as beautiful as ever. I haven’t seen her laugh in forever. I’d like to see that again one day.
And Skinner, well. What can I say about Skinner? The same hard-ass with the soft spot for the underdog, still protecting yours truly. He’s laughed a million times, but his laughter has never been free of some bitterness.
I honestly don’t want to talk about how I’m doing. I think you can use your imagination. I found my left hand shaking the other day when I was doing a routine disassembling and reassembling of my gun. I’m afraid of what that entails, but I don’t think about it too much. There’s no time for doubting yourself down here.
Soon, Alex. I promise.
I’m going above-ground tomorrow to do some surveillance. Normally, they won’t even let me stick my head above the surface, but I insisted on taking the shift. Maybe the sky will open up tomorrow when I’m up there, and maybe we’ll all be whisked away to some peaceful other-world.
It’s foolish to think that way, but I can’t help it. What else is there but optimism and hope keeping us alive?
The food disappears like ash in our mouths, the water full of the taste of cordite.
Alex, I think I’ve just about had enough. I think I’ve outlasted my stay.
You’d think someone would’ve finished me by now. Maybe Scully is right, maybe I am too valuable.
Like you. You’re too valuable to me. Nobody else knows. I like it that way. Nobody else knows and it’s our little secret, safe from the world, from the aliens, from the resistance, from God himself, if he’s up there. I’ll be buried with the secret.
It’s a comforting thought.
Tomorrow is the day, then. I feel it like the way you could always tell when it was going to rain, a scent in the air.
Tomorrow I go up and I disappear. One step closer to you.
Title: Letter To Alex
Author: Meixia bionic
Fandom: X-Files
Pairing: Mulder/Krycek
Challenge: the Letter challenge
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Please don't sue/kill me.
Rating: PG-13
Author's note: I hope this meets the challenge. Written in an hour and twenty minutes (I got up and did some stuff, then sat back down and finished writing it.) It's still pretty short. I blame this on insomnia. A post-colonization fic. I apologize beforehand for the high sap content. Feedback much appreciated!
Alex -
It’s cold here. I guess this is what living with the rats is like, living underground like this. Good thing I burned all my Armani suits, they wouldn’t have survived the grime and sewage water anyway. Skinner says I’m not eating enough. I don’t think it really matters how skinny I am - we’re all pretty much a sack of bones. Have just enough meals to get by, but it’s not that bad.
I think about the old days sometimes. It’s not as painful now, the memories dulled by time and rusted around the edges. My decaying mind even manages to supply a few white lies to blot out the harsh stab of betrayal I had felt back then, a time when I thought the trust between us was tenuous at best but not enough to warrant my rampant paranoia. We can all laugh at how wrong I was, now.
Scully visited me the other day, braving the raging fires outside and the dead bodies to see me. Her face was covered by soot when she arrived, puffing all the while like she’d been running for her life. Yet she stood composed in another minute, and she smoothed her fiery hair back, prim and proper as always.
She said to me, “Mulder, why don’t you come back with me to the safe-house? You don’t have to be here on the frontlines anymore. You’re too valuable, Mulder.” She pleaded with her eyes, and I saw the Scully from long ago hidden behind the rubble of the years.
“Mulder, please.”
But I shook my head. It wasn’t that simple. I apologized and told her I couldn’t do what she’d asked. She looked about ready to protest, but Skinner walked in on our conversation and then she was hurried back out and away, leaving me, always leaving Fox Mulder behind. I’m always left behind in the end, aren’t I? I can’t say I haven’t gotten used to it.
Scully’s doing fairly well for someone in her position. She’s skin and bones, but still as beautiful as ever. I haven’t seen her laugh in forever. I’d like to see that again one day.
And Skinner, well. What can I say about Skinner? The same hard-ass with the soft spot for the underdog, still protecting yours truly. He’s laughed a million times, but his laughter has never been free of some bitterness.
I honestly don’t want to talk about how I’m doing. I think you can use your imagination. I found my left hand shaking the other day when I was doing a routine disassembling and reassembling of my gun. I’m afraid of what that entails, but I don’t think about it too much. There’s no time for doubting yourself down here.
Soon, Alex. I promise.
I’m going above-ground tomorrow to do some surveillance. Normally, they won’t even let me stick my head above the surface, but I insisted on taking the shift. Maybe the sky will open up tomorrow when I’m up there, and maybe we’ll all be whisked away to some peaceful other-world.
It’s foolish to think that way, but I can’t help it. What else is there but optimism and hope keeping us alive?
The food disappears like ash in our mouths, the water full of the taste of cordite.
Alex, I think I’ve just about had enough. I think I’ve outlasted my stay.
You’d think someone would’ve finished me by now. Maybe Scully is right, maybe I am too valuable.
Like you. You’re too valuable to me. Nobody else knows. I like it that way. Nobody else knows and it’s our little secret, safe from the world, from the aliens, from the resistance, from God himself, if he’s up there. I’ll be buried with the secret.
It’s a comforting thought.
Tomorrow is the day, then. I feel it like the way you could always tell when it was going to rain, a scent in the air.
Tomorrow I go up and I disappear. One step closer to you.