Sugar and Pepper (19)
EIGHTEEN
* NINETEEN *
01.
Their shared bedroom glowed from the rays of the evening sun shifting through their window. The silent stillness around them possessed an easy air of peace and contentment, but the sudden ring of a phone cut into the deep calmness. Satoshi stirred from his seat beside the bed and took up his mobile to see a message from his father. He read, [ I’ll see you next year. Be good to your mom. ]
“What are you looking at?” Jun asked from the bed. After his mother had bandaged his wrist and forced him to bed late that morning, Jun had not risen until then.
Satoshi closed his phone and turned to his brother. “A message from my father. He’s leaving.”
Good, Jun thought. He didn’t need Satoshi running off again. He sighed and freed his arm from under the bed covers. He took Satoshi’s hand, glad for his brother’s return, and drew attention to his injured wrist. Satoshi touched the bandages gently.
“It’s my fault,” Jun comforted his older brother. But Satoshi’s expression of sadness and guilt remained. Jun tried for a change of subject. “You’re not gonna leave me, are you?”
Satoshi placed a hand on Jun’s forehead. The burning of that morning had cooled considerably. “I won’t,” he said.
Jun’s smile in response to his promise warmed the older boy.
02.
Mrs. Matsumoto scrubbed the kitchen counter vehemently as if a glob of grime had been deposited on the surface. A week away was enough time for dust to accumulate, she had told her husband. Bewildered by his wife, and tired by their drive home, Mr. Matsumoto left her alone and went up for an early night. He’d finish unpacking tomorrow.
While clearing away the rest of the counter, Mrs. Matsumoto found a thick pamphlet one of her sons had left behind. She thought to set it aside for later, but the English words on the cover caught her attention. Colleges abroad. She didn’t even have to wonder whom the pamphlet belonged to.
The home phone ranged and Mrs. Matsumoto reached for it hastily, glad for the distraction, but the voice that greeted her brought back her fears.
“Hello,” Mr. Ohno said from the other end.
03.
When night rolled in, Satoshi slid under the covers beside Jun. He moved in until they were comfortably arranged on the narrow mattress. Tucked in together, their arms overlapping, Jun prematurely worried that Satoshi would catch his sickness.
“We made a deal to open the window, but you slept outside,” Satoshi broke into his thoughts.
Jun startled and realized his brother was right. They were in opposite situations from when Satoshi had first moved in. He chuckled, but his head throbbed again and he groaned. Even if his fever had broken, he was still weak and lightheaded.
Satoshi turned on his side and faced Jun in the darkness. “I’m sorry.”
Jun blinked up at their white ceiling as the apology seeped into the silence of their room. Then he murmured his own thoughts, “I won’t leave you alone again. Not if I can help it.”
“When I left, I was afraid I would never see you again,” Satoshi said.
But you had the option of coming back, Jun thought. While it was himself who couldn’t do anything but wait. He did not like waiting. He did not like not ever knowing if Satoshi would return. Why could other people, people before him who had watched their most important person leave, wait and leave their entire happiness to hope? But Satoshi’s bodily warmth at his side gave Jun the reason. Because he would have to live without Satoshi and that wasn’t really an option at all.
“You should have hit me until I came to my senses,” Jun said all of a sudden. “When I left you at home. When I wouldn’t speak to you. Although I promised we’d walk home...”
Under the covers, Satoshi hooked their hands together. He did not speak.
I had my stupid reasons, Jun thought. I pushed you away, but I’ll never do that again. I already know what you mean to me.
Jun tightened the hold he had on Satoshi’s fingers, cuddled against his brother, and fell asleep.
04.
In the morning, Mrs. Matsumoto watched her sons sit on the back veranda; Jun worked on his summer homework while Satoshi drew. She saw how Jun spoke ceaselessly and how the corners of Satoshi’s lips tugged up in suppressed humor. Her heart sank with her thoughts about the future. Satoshi was just beginning to adapt. She didn’t want him to be taken away so soon.
“I’m going out for a bit,” Mrs. Matsumoto said from the doorway. “Watch the house for me.”
“Alright,” Jun replied from the other side.
She pulled on her shoes and reluctantly left.
05.
They sat in a small family restaurant across from each other.
“We did not need to meet,” Mr. Ohno drawled. He looked at his watch. “I have a flight to catch soon.”
Across the table, Mrs. Ohno felt as restless as him, but she squared her shoulders and said, “I’ll be quick.”
Mr. Ohno leaned across to her. “Then I’ll also be brief about our discussion yesterday. I had Satoshi finish his studies here since he was already a senior. That’s the only reason I did not drag him across the world. But he knew, from the beginning, he would begin university in America beginning next fall.”
“You’re taking him from what he knows,” Mrs. Matsumoto protested. “Satoshi is a delicate and timid boy. He’ll have a hard time adapting to a new environment. You’re taking him away without first consulting me.”
Mr. Ohno’s brows creased, but he contained his anger. “You forget yourself. We agreed when we divorced that you’ll have no say in Satoshi’s life. Your feelings do not factor in my plans for Satoshi’s success.”
“But our son--!” Mrs. Matsumoto began. She wanted to tell him about Jun, about Satoshi’s new friend - the one whose game he had gone to, about Mr. Matsumoto’s eagerness to take Satoshi fishing. She wanted to tell Mr. Ohno about Satoshi smiling.
Mr. Ohno stood and broke her off. “He’s my son. Never forget that you did not want him.”
Mrs. Matsumoto stared up at him, speechless, but unable to repudiate his words.
Conscious that a few people were staring at them, Mr. Ohno lowered his voice, but the venom in his tone remained. He glared down at his ex-wife. “But I haven’t forgotten. I still remember what happened around this time years ago,” he whispered.
He turned on his heels and exited the restaurant without turning back, leaving Mrs. Matsumoto stunned.
06.
On the veranda, Jun raised a hand to protect his eyes from the rays of the bright afternoon sun. He pulled on his damp shirt sticking to his skin and glanced at the similarly sweat soaked Satoshi across from him. Jun grinned.
“Want to walk to the convenience store for ice cream?” he asked.
Satoshi’s eyes sparkled and he nodded.
Jun dropped his pencil and stood. He stretched lazily, easing his stiff back muscles.
Satoshi stared up at him, silent and entranced by his younger brother's beautiful lean form.
Self-conscious but pleased, Jun stretched out his hand for his brother’s. Satoshi took it.
* *
TWENTY
* NINETEEN *
01.
Their shared bedroom glowed from the rays of the evening sun shifting through their window. The silent stillness around them possessed an easy air of peace and contentment, but the sudden ring of a phone cut into the deep calmness. Satoshi stirred from his seat beside the bed and took up his mobile to see a message from his father. He read, [ I’ll see you next year. Be good to your mom. ]
“What are you looking at?” Jun asked from the bed. After his mother had bandaged his wrist and forced him to bed late that morning, Jun had not risen until then.
Satoshi closed his phone and turned to his brother. “A message from my father. He’s leaving.”
Good, Jun thought. He didn’t need Satoshi running off again. He sighed and freed his arm from under the bed covers. He took Satoshi’s hand, glad for his brother’s return, and drew attention to his injured wrist. Satoshi touched the bandages gently.
“It’s my fault,” Jun comforted his older brother. But Satoshi’s expression of sadness and guilt remained. Jun tried for a change of subject. “You’re not gonna leave me, are you?”
Satoshi placed a hand on Jun’s forehead. The burning of that morning had cooled considerably. “I won’t,” he said.
Jun’s smile in response to his promise warmed the older boy.
02.
Mrs. Matsumoto scrubbed the kitchen counter vehemently as if a glob of grime had been deposited on the surface. A week away was enough time for dust to accumulate, she had told her husband. Bewildered by his wife, and tired by their drive home, Mr. Matsumoto left her alone and went up for an early night. He’d finish unpacking tomorrow.
While clearing away the rest of the counter, Mrs. Matsumoto found a thick pamphlet one of her sons had left behind. She thought to set it aside for later, but the English words on the cover caught her attention. Colleges abroad. She didn’t even have to wonder whom the pamphlet belonged to.
The home phone ranged and Mrs. Matsumoto reached for it hastily, glad for the distraction, but the voice that greeted her brought back her fears.
“Hello,” Mr. Ohno said from the other end.
03.
When night rolled in, Satoshi slid under the covers beside Jun. He moved in until they were comfortably arranged on the narrow mattress. Tucked in together, their arms overlapping, Jun prematurely worried that Satoshi would catch his sickness.
“We made a deal to open the window, but you slept outside,” Satoshi broke into his thoughts.
Jun startled and realized his brother was right. They were in opposite situations from when Satoshi had first moved in. He chuckled, but his head throbbed again and he groaned. Even if his fever had broken, he was still weak and lightheaded.
Satoshi turned on his side and faced Jun in the darkness. “I’m sorry.”
Jun blinked up at their white ceiling as the apology seeped into the silence of their room. Then he murmured his own thoughts, “I won’t leave you alone again. Not if I can help it.”
“When I left, I was afraid I would never see you again,” Satoshi said.
But you had the option of coming back, Jun thought. While it was himself who couldn’t do anything but wait. He did not like waiting. He did not like not ever knowing if Satoshi would return. Why could other people, people before him who had watched their most important person leave, wait and leave their entire happiness to hope? But Satoshi’s bodily warmth at his side gave Jun the reason. Because he would have to live without Satoshi and that wasn’t really an option at all.
“You should have hit me until I came to my senses,” Jun said all of a sudden. “When I left you at home. When I wouldn’t speak to you. Although I promised we’d walk home...”
Under the covers, Satoshi hooked their hands together. He did not speak.
I had my stupid reasons, Jun thought. I pushed you away, but I’ll never do that again. I already know what you mean to me.
Jun tightened the hold he had on Satoshi’s fingers, cuddled against his brother, and fell asleep.
04.
In the morning, Mrs. Matsumoto watched her sons sit on the back veranda; Jun worked on his summer homework while Satoshi drew. She saw how Jun spoke ceaselessly and how the corners of Satoshi’s lips tugged up in suppressed humor. Her heart sank with her thoughts about the future. Satoshi was just beginning to adapt. She didn’t want him to be taken away so soon.
“I’m going out for a bit,” Mrs. Matsumoto said from the doorway. “Watch the house for me.”
“Alright,” Jun replied from the other side.
She pulled on her shoes and reluctantly left.
05.
They sat in a small family restaurant across from each other.
“We did not need to meet,” Mr. Ohno drawled. He looked at his watch. “I have a flight to catch soon.”
Across the table, Mrs. Ohno felt as restless as him, but she squared her shoulders and said, “I’ll be quick.”
Mr. Ohno leaned across to her. “Then I’ll also be brief about our discussion yesterday. I had Satoshi finish his studies here since he was already a senior. That’s the only reason I did not drag him across the world. But he knew, from the beginning, he would begin university in America beginning next fall.”
“You’re taking him from what he knows,” Mrs. Matsumoto protested. “Satoshi is a delicate and timid boy. He’ll have a hard time adapting to a new environment. You’re taking him away without first consulting me.”
Mr. Ohno’s brows creased, but he contained his anger. “You forget yourself. We agreed when we divorced that you’ll have no say in Satoshi’s life. Your feelings do not factor in my plans for Satoshi’s success.”
“But our son--!” Mrs. Matsumoto began. She wanted to tell him about Jun, about Satoshi’s new friend - the one whose game he had gone to, about Mr. Matsumoto’s eagerness to take Satoshi fishing. She wanted to tell Mr. Ohno about Satoshi smiling.
Mr. Ohno stood and broke her off. “He’s my son. Never forget that you did not want him.”
Mrs. Matsumoto stared up at him, speechless, but unable to repudiate his words.
Conscious that a few people were staring at them, Mr. Ohno lowered his voice, but the venom in his tone remained. He glared down at his ex-wife. “But I haven’t forgotten. I still remember what happened around this time years ago,” he whispered.
He turned on his heels and exited the restaurant without turning back, leaving Mrs. Matsumoto stunned.
06.
On the veranda, Jun raised a hand to protect his eyes from the rays of the bright afternoon sun. He pulled on his damp shirt sticking to his skin and glanced at the similarly sweat soaked Satoshi across from him. Jun grinned.
“Want to walk to the convenience store for ice cream?” he asked.
Satoshi’s eyes sparkled and he nodded.
Jun dropped his pencil and stood. He stretched lazily, easing his stiff back muscles.
Satoshi stared up at him, silent and entranced by his younger brother's beautiful lean form.
Self-conscious but pleased, Jun stretched out his hand for his brother’s. Satoshi took it.
* *
TWENTY