Aozora's Song (10/12)
Previous: Aozora's Doubt
10. Aozora’s Destination
Jun saw her hesitation and the sudden paleness of her face. Frustrated, he reached for her, but in her fear, she was quicker and moved away from the tree blocking her retreat. She pulled out Masaki’s pocket knife and pressed the blade to her throat. She saw Jun freeze in horrification.
“You need me alive, otherwise you would have killed me a long time ago,” Ao said, making an effort to control the shaking of her voice. “Tell me what happened to Satoshi. Did you betray him?”
Jun surprised her by falling to one knee and bowing his head in the act of allegiance.
“Your highness, how could I betray him? How could I betray you? I would rather die.”
Her doubt remained. She could not believe him, not when she only had his word to rely on; but the men around them emerged from hiding and she saw General Sakurai’s emblem engraved on their armors as well. They were not there to capture her, but had come as part of her escort. She dropped her arm with the pocket knife and stared at Jun’s bowed figured; regret, relief, and foolishness washed over her. But another fear soon replaced her changing emotions.
“Then what happened to Satoshi?”
Jun refused to raise his head to meet her gaze. “He stayed behind with some of our men at the border.”
“Why?” she asked. Why would he leave her?
Jun stood and offered his hand again to help her to her horse. “Your highness, we must hurry.”
Ao shied away. “Why!?” she demanded. How could he leave her?
Jun snatched at her and this time his grip wrapped around her forearm successfully. He dragged her to her horse. “Because he is one of Lord Sakurai’s men, Princess. Because in a few moments you will finally cross into General Sakurai’s territory and Satoshi knows you will marry Lord Sakurai.”
Ao was hoisted into the horse’s saddle with ease. She tried to slide off the other side, but Jun had firm grip of one of her legs and when she tried to ride into the forest back where she and Satoshi had come from that morning, Jun charmed the beast into stillness.
“Princess, please be reasonable,” he told her. “He’s doing what he thinks is best.”
“No!” Ao cried and felt frustrated tears burn her eyes. Even after she found Satoshi, even after she finally found happiness, she would still have to marry Lord Sakurai. How could she go on with the marriage knowing she would leave her heart behind? She preferred to be unreasonable, to be selfish.
Frustrated by her impracticality, Jun disregarded her status and shouted, “You are marrying Lord Sakurai for your kingdom, for your people, and for the prince who you have always love!”
He was right. Ao leaned forward and pressed her face into her horse’s mane. Jun released her and she did not try to dismount again. Feeling the familiar surge of pain wrecking her heart, she hid her tears.
*
The soldiers traveled alongside them, but kept themselves strategically distant and hidden as they entered General Sakura’s vast territory at last. They passed the General’s well guarded fort on their way across the border, but Ao did not see Satoshi among the warriors. Longing and loneliness added to her despair. Then Jun and she were alone again.
Jun used their trip, out of hearing range from the soldiers accompanying them, as an opportunity to tell her about his and his comrade’s shared past.
“Satoshi and I grew up together,” he told her, “and we even discovered our magical abilities together, but we were separated when they placed us in different orphanages. I met him again when I enlisted in General Sakurai’s army after running away from my new orphanage. I was already training to become a magician-warrior under Lord Sakurai, and because I knew Satoshi’s talent, I convinced him to join.”
At the pause in his story, Jun turned his head and stared at her riding a horse’s head ahead of him. “Satoshi told me about you, that he was searching for you, Princess, even if he didn’t know who you were at that time. He said he wanted to meet you at least once. Then he saw you at your coming of age ceremony and he made me promise to help him protect you. I did. I promised with my life.
“But even back then, General Sakurai knew some of the king’s vassals were discontent, and he wanted to infiltrate their camp. He sent Satoshi and me to be his spies. Princess, when Lord Sakurai sent two warriors for you, he did not send us. We were a party sent by the king’s enemies who wanted to ruin Lord Sakurai’s plans, but they did not know what we were. Our party took on Lord Sakurai’s men, but Satoshi and I used the altercation to escape without their detection. Then the both of us came for you before they could.
“While traveling with you, Satoshi and I had to thwart both the traitorous lords and Lord Sakurai’s men. At least, until that day when we were separated. I knew we couldn't go on without help; we had twice as many pursuers behind us and we needed Lord Sakurai to know we were still loyal to him. While Satoshi brought you here, I requested aid from Lord Sakurai. Satoshi and I have betrayed no one.”
As Ao took in the information, she finally understood the events and their conversation from the past; why Lord Sakurai wouldn't have known that the three of them were heading his way. Her mind flashed back to that scene more than a week ago before Satoshi and she had separated from Jun. Jun had pushed her to leave with Satoshi and he had said he would set their pursuers up against each other, and he had not met up with them until now.
When she spoke again, she asked Jun in a hopeful whisper, “What else did Satoshi tell you about me?”
“Only that I had to help him persuade you to marry Lord Sakurai,” he said. “He wants you to marry Lord Sakurai.”
*
When they finally stopped for the night, only a few miles remained between them and their destination. Ao had only one more night before she reached Lord Sakurai’s castle; she had only one more night to be an unmarried woman.
Although she knew other warriors surrounded them, only she and Jun sat around the campfire. The forest around them were dark and silent. She could almost believe that they had gone back many nights ago before they had separated and her reality had changed. Ideally, when she woke up in the morning Satoshi would have returned and they would be on their way again. No, if she wished for the ideal, then everything would be different. She wouldn't be princess.
The uncanny draw of her body to the east was still insistent, but she ignored the much stronger pull, wrapped her cloak around herself, and tried to sleep. Her best efforts did not help her, not when her mind raced with the horrors that would come tomorrow. If only she could rip out her heart, mute all her emotions, and turn herself into a puppet. She might be able to go through the wedding without feeling like her heart was dying inside of her.
She was not sure when she finally fell asleep, or even if she was asleep, but she knew she was dreaming when a white fog rolled in and clouded her vision. The pull of her body to the east intensified in her dream and then as she watched, looking for whatever that called her, the dark tower that haunted her dreams took shape in the far distance, towering above the highest trees. Afraid, fear invading her body, she felt a scream at the back of her throat, but before it became sound the tower burst into red-orange flames and then turned into the much hotter bright blue. The blue fire enveloped everything.
Suffocating sorrow swept over her and bound her in place as she watched the tower burn. Her mouth gaped open in shock and the strength of her overwhelming pain and sorrow that paralyzed her.
Her master’s voice rang in her ears, “I won’t let you escape until your debt to me is repaid.”
It echoed, “Until your debt to me is repaid.”
Unbidden, tears streamed down the side of her face. She felt herself come out of her dream into the waking world and she was also crying there. Hot tears slipped from her eyes and down her face. She shifted and bit into her fist, hoping that Jun wouldn't hear. She didn't need his pity.
Someone pressed up against her and a strong, lean arm wrapped around her body. Although she had hoped her tears would go unnoticed, Ao did not push the warmth away because she knew he was here. She did not have to open her eyes to confirm it was him. He was Satoshi; her heart, her breath, her life.
“Are you going to leave me?” she sobbed into his arms.
“I want you to live a long, happy life, Aozora,” Satoshi murmured.
“You are leaving because of my master,” Ao said, “not because of Lord Sakurai.” She knew, even if he refused to tell her. She knew at least this truth.
This time Satoshi did not answer.
Ao moved closer against him. “I saw it. The tower burned down, so why can’t you be with me?”
Satoshi closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. “The dark tower and the Gold Magician are powerful specters that come to life every time you and I are born again. I must destroy the tower. I have to save you, Aozora. I will always save you.”
Ao did not fully comprehend what he meant by saving her and why that meant he had to leave. She knew if she asked he would not elaborate. In the darkness, she smoothed her hands over his face and felt the roughness of his skin underneath her fingers. She wished she had eternity to memorize the feel and warmth of him.
“Satoshi, I love you,” she said. “Not because of who you were, but because of who you are. You are my light. I will love you and only you until I grow old and die, and even after that, for eternity I will love you. Satoshi, I need you.”
She felt him smile underneath her fingers. He pressed his lips against her palm that covered his mouth in a soft, chaste kiss.
“I know,” he said and repeated in a whisper, “I know.”
Next: Aozora's Fate
10. Aozora’s Destination
Jun saw her hesitation and the sudden paleness of her face. Frustrated, he reached for her, but in her fear, she was quicker and moved away from the tree blocking her retreat. She pulled out Masaki’s pocket knife and pressed the blade to her throat. She saw Jun freeze in horrification.
“You need me alive, otherwise you would have killed me a long time ago,” Ao said, making an effort to control the shaking of her voice. “Tell me what happened to Satoshi. Did you betray him?”
Jun surprised her by falling to one knee and bowing his head in the act of allegiance.
“Your highness, how could I betray him? How could I betray you? I would rather die.”
Her doubt remained. She could not believe him, not when she only had his word to rely on; but the men around them emerged from hiding and she saw General Sakurai’s emblem engraved on their armors as well. They were not there to capture her, but had come as part of her escort. She dropped her arm with the pocket knife and stared at Jun’s bowed figured; regret, relief, and foolishness washed over her. But another fear soon replaced her changing emotions.
“Then what happened to Satoshi?”
Jun refused to raise his head to meet her gaze. “He stayed behind with some of our men at the border.”
“Why?” she asked. Why would he leave her?
Jun stood and offered his hand again to help her to her horse. “Your highness, we must hurry.”
Ao shied away. “Why!?” she demanded. How could he leave her?
Jun snatched at her and this time his grip wrapped around her forearm successfully. He dragged her to her horse. “Because he is one of Lord Sakurai’s men, Princess. Because in a few moments you will finally cross into General Sakurai’s territory and Satoshi knows you will marry Lord Sakurai.”
Ao was hoisted into the horse’s saddle with ease. She tried to slide off the other side, but Jun had firm grip of one of her legs and when she tried to ride into the forest back where she and Satoshi had come from that morning, Jun charmed the beast into stillness.
“Princess, please be reasonable,” he told her. “He’s doing what he thinks is best.”
“No!” Ao cried and felt frustrated tears burn her eyes. Even after she found Satoshi, even after she finally found happiness, she would still have to marry Lord Sakurai. How could she go on with the marriage knowing she would leave her heart behind? She preferred to be unreasonable, to be selfish.
Frustrated by her impracticality, Jun disregarded her status and shouted, “You are marrying Lord Sakurai for your kingdom, for your people, and for the prince who you have always love!”
He was right. Ao leaned forward and pressed her face into her horse’s mane. Jun released her and she did not try to dismount again. Feeling the familiar surge of pain wrecking her heart, she hid her tears.
*
The soldiers traveled alongside them, but kept themselves strategically distant and hidden as they entered General Sakura’s vast territory at last. They passed the General’s well guarded fort on their way across the border, but Ao did not see Satoshi among the warriors. Longing and loneliness added to her despair. Then Jun and she were alone again.
Jun used their trip, out of hearing range from the soldiers accompanying them, as an opportunity to tell her about his and his comrade’s shared past.
“Satoshi and I grew up together,” he told her, “and we even discovered our magical abilities together, but we were separated when they placed us in different orphanages. I met him again when I enlisted in General Sakurai’s army after running away from my new orphanage. I was already training to become a magician-warrior under Lord Sakurai, and because I knew Satoshi’s talent, I convinced him to join.”
At the pause in his story, Jun turned his head and stared at her riding a horse’s head ahead of him. “Satoshi told me about you, that he was searching for you, Princess, even if he didn’t know who you were at that time. He said he wanted to meet you at least once. Then he saw you at your coming of age ceremony and he made me promise to help him protect you. I did. I promised with my life.
“But even back then, General Sakurai knew some of the king’s vassals were discontent, and he wanted to infiltrate their camp. He sent Satoshi and me to be his spies. Princess, when Lord Sakurai sent two warriors for you, he did not send us. We were a party sent by the king’s enemies who wanted to ruin Lord Sakurai’s plans, but they did not know what we were. Our party took on Lord Sakurai’s men, but Satoshi and I used the altercation to escape without their detection. Then the both of us came for you before they could.
“While traveling with you, Satoshi and I had to thwart both the traitorous lords and Lord Sakurai’s men. At least, until that day when we were separated. I knew we couldn't go on without help; we had twice as many pursuers behind us and we needed Lord Sakurai to know we were still loyal to him. While Satoshi brought you here, I requested aid from Lord Sakurai. Satoshi and I have betrayed no one.”
As Ao took in the information, she finally understood the events and their conversation from the past; why Lord Sakurai wouldn't have known that the three of them were heading his way. Her mind flashed back to that scene more than a week ago before Satoshi and she had separated from Jun. Jun had pushed her to leave with Satoshi and he had said he would set their pursuers up against each other, and he had not met up with them until now.
When she spoke again, she asked Jun in a hopeful whisper, “What else did Satoshi tell you about me?”
“Only that I had to help him persuade you to marry Lord Sakurai,” he said. “He wants you to marry Lord Sakurai.”
*
When they finally stopped for the night, only a few miles remained between them and their destination. Ao had only one more night before she reached Lord Sakurai’s castle; she had only one more night to be an unmarried woman.
Although she knew other warriors surrounded them, only she and Jun sat around the campfire. The forest around them were dark and silent. She could almost believe that they had gone back many nights ago before they had separated and her reality had changed. Ideally, when she woke up in the morning Satoshi would have returned and they would be on their way again. No, if she wished for the ideal, then everything would be different. She wouldn't be princess.
The uncanny draw of her body to the east was still insistent, but she ignored the much stronger pull, wrapped her cloak around herself, and tried to sleep. Her best efforts did not help her, not when her mind raced with the horrors that would come tomorrow. If only she could rip out her heart, mute all her emotions, and turn herself into a puppet. She might be able to go through the wedding without feeling like her heart was dying inside of her.
She was not sure when she finally fell asleep, or even if she was asleep, but she knew she was dreaming when a white fog rolled in and clouded her vision. The pull of her body to the east intensified in her dream and then as she watched, looking for whatever that called her, the dark tower that haunted her dreams took shape in the far distance, towering above the highest trees. Afraid, fear invading her body, she felt a scream at the back of her throat, but before it became sound the tower burst into red-orange flames and then turned into the much hotter bright blue. The blue fire enveloped everything.
Suffocating sorrow swept over her and bound her in place as she watched the tower burn. Her mouth gaped open in shock and the strength of her overwhelming pain and sorrow that paralyzed her.
Her master’s voice rang in her ears, “I won’t let you escape until your debt to me is repaid.”
It echoed, “Until your debt to me is repaid.”
Unbidden, tears streamed down the side of her face. She felt herself come out of her dream into the waking world and she was also crying there. Hot tears slipped from her eyes and down her face. She shifted and bit into her fist, hoping that Jun wouldn't hear. She didn't need his pity.
Someone pressed up against her and a strong, lean arm wrapped around her body. Although she had hoped her tears would go unnoticed, Ao did not push the warmth away because she knew he was here. She did not have to open her eyes to confirm it was him. He was Satoshi; her heart, her breath, her life.
“Are you going to leave me?” she sobbed into his arms.
“I want you to live a long, happy life, Aozora,” Satoshi murmured.
“You are leaving because of my master,” Ao said, “not because of Lord Sakurai.” She knew, even if he refused to tell her. She knew at least this truth.
This time Satoshi did not answer.
Ao moved closer against him. “I saw it. The tower burned down, so why can’t you be with me?”
Satoshi closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. “The dark tower and the Gold Magician are powerful specters that come to life every time you and I are born again. I must destroy the tower. I have to save you, Aozora. I will always save you.”
Ao did not fully comprehend what he meant by saving her and why that meant he had to leave. She knew if she asked he would not elaborate. In the darkness, she smoothed her hands over his face and felt the roughness of his skin underneath her fingers. She wished she had eternity to memorize the feel and warmth of him.
“Satoshi, I love you,” she said. “Not because of who you were, but because of who you are. You are my light. I will love you and only you until I grow old and die, and even after that, for eternity I will love you. Satoshi, I need you.”
She felt him smile underneath her fingers. He pressed his lips against her palm that covered his mouth in a soft, chaste kiss.
“I know,” he said and repeated in a whisper, “I know.”
Next: Aozora's Fate