Sugar and Pepper (27)
TWENTY-SIX
* TWENTY-SEVEN *
01.
"Satoshi."
Satoshi woke the next morning to the soft murmur of his name from Jun. He did not open his eyes. Instead, he took a deep breath. He knew yesterday had not been a dream. His eyes were still sore, but he felt the soothing warmth of Jun still at his side under the blankets.
"I think mom and dad finished breakfast. Let's go down," Jun told him.
Satoshi did not want to move. He did not want to go downstairs where he would run into his mother and step-father.
"You did not eat yesterday," Jun correctly predicted. "You have to eat. We can't hide in here forever."
Because Jun's determination was so strong, Satoshi allowed himself to be eased out of bed. On his feet, Satoshi felt a rush of nervousness at the thought of going down to meet his mother. Jun embraced him.
"I'll be with you, okay?"
Satoshi breathed in Jun's scent. At the same time that his heart fluttered, he felt a sense of calm. "Okay," he murmured.
02.
"Would you like some eggs?" Mrs. Matsumoto asked Jun when he stepped into the kitchen moments later.
"Sure," he answered and stood at the kitchen doorway watching her. He did not move to take a seat at the table nor did he move from the entrance.
Turning from the counter to the stove, Mrs. Matsumoto glanced at him and noticed that someone stood behind him, using him as a shield. She sighed. "Did your friends sneak in here last night again? Who slept over?"
"No one," Jun said. Then he added, "Can you make some eggs for Satoshi as well?"
Mrs. Matsumoto paused in the act of cracking another egg into the frying pan. She looked at the second pair of legs behind her son's again. "Satoshi," she called and finally recognized him. "How would you like your eggs?"
Jun answered for him. "Sunny-side-up, please."
Satoshi gratefully hid behind Jun and listened to the sounds his mother made as she moved about the kitchen.
"Your father and I are going on a fishing picnic today," Mrs. Matsumoto announced. "Will you boys join us?"
"Why all of a sudden?" Jun asked.
Mr. Matsumoto stomped through the side door into the kitchen and stood by the threshold in his fishing boots. "Your mother wants to spend some time together as a family. If you boys aren't doing anything, I hope you can join us."
Jun felt Satoshi's grip on the back of his shirt tighten. He answered, "I'm not sure."
Mr. Matsumoto glanced at his wife and saw her fallen expression. He urged, "We haven't done anything together this summer. Your mother and I would be happy if the both of you could go."
As always, Jun could not say no to his parents. "Okay," he said. He felt Satoshi release him and he turned to see his older brother run up the stairs back to their room.
03.
Jun found Satoshi curled up by the window, gazing out but seeing nothing. His face and the sadness in his eyes were illuminated by the sunlight.
"I can't do it," he murmured.
Jun set the breakfast tray he carried down on his desk and crawled over on his hands and knees to brother. He reached out and smoothed one palm over Satoshi's soft cheek.
"She's my mother, too," Jun said. "I'm sorry. I can't hate her."
Satoshi dropped his head into his arms. "I don't hate her," he said. "B-but, Jun, I c-can't forgive her."
Jun moved in and wrapped his arms around him. Satoshi melted into his warmth.
"Am I wrong?" he asked.
04.
They set up the picnic area a few meters from the bank where the men could hear Mrs. Matsumoto without her necessarily having to revert to shouting.
Mr. Matsumoto helped Jun with his first throw then moved to help Satoshi with his first ever experience handling a fishing rod.
While he hooked the bait, Mr. Matsumoto grinned and said, "I'm glad we're finally fishing together."
Satoshi saw his easy, friendly smile and he remembered the promise his step-father had made before summer. But he also recalled last night when his mother had revealed his step-father's role in his parents' divorce. Could he blame this man, too?
"Dad?" Jun bellowed. "I think I got something." He yanked his rod and turned the reel.
Mr. Matsumoto dropped everything he was doing and ran to his son's side. Satoshi stepped over and watched as father and son struggled to reel in Jun's first catch of the day.
"Did you get something?" Mrs. Matsumoto asked from behind them.
Satoshi turned. He saw her on her feet watching them, excitement bubbling in her body. He watched Jun hand over the fishing pole to his father and urged his father to catch the fish. Jun leaned forward excitedly as the fish was pulled out of the water and slapped against the bank.
"Yes! I caught one!" he screamed. "I win! First one within five minutes!"
Mr. Matsumoto crouched down to pull out the hook from its mouth while behind them Mrs. Matsumoto could be heard clapping and congratulating her son.
Satoshi felt like a stranger watching a play.
"Go fill the bucket with water," Mr. Matsumoto ordered his son as he set the fish free onto the grass.
Jun grabbed the bucket where they would keep their catches and then with his other hand he snatched up Satoshi's hand. He smiled at his brother. "Come with me."
Satoshi allowed himself to be dragged along.
At the water's edge, they crouched down to dip the bucket into the river. Jun took a quick glance behind and saw his parents were not looking at them. He drew Satoshi's hand up and stole a quick peck on his palm.
Flushing heavily but pleased, Jun whispered, "I want you to have fun, too."
A butterfly in Satoshi's chest fluttered and he felt heat climb up his face. For the first time since they've arrived, he felt like he belonged.
"I'm going to have fun today," he promised and his reward was Jun's satisfied smile.
05.
Jun tired of fishing quickly and by mid-afternoon he opted to sit with his mother as they watched Satoshi and Mr. Matsumoto by the riverbank. Mrs. Matsumoto was setting up a late luncheon for all of them and he did whatever errands she asked of him. When he returned with a bag of ice from the closest store, she was in the process of laying out the food they had brought.
Jun set the bag of ice down next to the drinks and moved to his mother's side.
"This reminds me of how I met your father," Mrs. Matsumoto started. She turned and smiled at Jun. "Have I ever told you?
"No," Jun answered, not at all sure he wanted to hear. But this was his mother and even if he could walk away from his noisy female classmates, he couldn't walk away from her.
"Your father saved me from drowning from this very river," she reminisced happily. "He was a hero."
Jun's brows came together. "I thought father couldn't swim."
"That's exactly why he was such a hero. It was not very funny at the time, but we were both coughing and spluttering together trying to breathe. Talk about a first impression." She chuckled and then all of a sudden her face softened and a faraway look entered her eyes.
Jun guessed that his mother had still been married to Satoshi's father at the time and he wanted to know why she'd been drowning alone on that day. Where had Mr. Ohno been? But he couldn't ask. He did not want to bring up a subject that he didn't know its effect on his mother. So he asked evasively instead, "Mom, why did you marry dad?"
Her mind returned to the present and her gaze focused on him. She smiled again. "Because he loves me. One day, when you are much older and you meet that girl you cannot bear to let go, you'll know. Right now, you're still too young to understand."
She removed the plastic wrap around the last dish and interrupted with, "There. Call your father and Satoshi over, Jun. We're all starving."
He left her side and moved to the pair at the riverbank. He couldn't tell his mother that he had already met that person in his life that he couldn't bear to lose, and that person wasn't a girl.
06.
The sun was setting while they packed everything back into the car after an entire day spent fishing and on a picnic. On the drive home, darkness descended on them.
In the middle of the calming, silent drive, Mr. Matsumoto reached over and grasped his wife's hand. Startled, she looked at him and then smiled. She turned in her seat and saw Satoshi and Jun sleeping quietly in the back seat. Mr. Matsumoto also glanced at them through the rear-view mirror.
Jun slept with his back straight, but his neck craned to the side in an uncomfortable upright position whereas Satoshi leaned against his shoulder. They breathed as one in peaceful slumber.
"Thank you for today," Mrs. Matsumoto said to her husband. "I wish... I just hope that this happiness will last a little longer."
"I promised you safety, comfort, and happiness when you married me. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it lasts," Mr. Matsumoto told her.
"No, you've already done a lot for me. You've done enough," Mrs. Matsumoto replied. She inhaled and closed her eyes. "This is enough."
She did not want to be greedy. Just as when her ex-husband, Mr. Ohno, forced her to choose between two happiness, she was afraid that by wanting more, one day she'd have to make a sacrifice as she had done in the past. And one time had already cost her dearly.
* *
TWENTY-EIGHT ~ X-TWENTY-SEVEN.FIVE
* TWENTY-SEVEN *
01.
"Satoshi."
Satoshi woke the next morning to the soft murmur of his name from Jun. He did not open his eyes. Instead, he took a deep breath. He knew yesterday had not been a dream. His eyes were still sore, but he felt the soothing warmth of Jun still at his side under the blankets.
"I think mom and dad finished breakfast. Let's go down," Jun told him.
Satoshi did not want to move. He did not want to go downstairs where he would run into his mother and step-father.
"You did not eat yesterday," Jun correctly predicted. "You have to eat. We can't hide in here forever."
Because Jun's determination was so strong, Satoshi allowed himself to be eased out of bed. On his feet, Satoshi felt a rush of nervousness at the thought of going down to meet his mother. Jun embraced him.
"I'll be with you, okay?"
Satoshi breathed in Jun's scent. At the same time that his heart fluttered, he felt a sense of calm. "Okay," he murmured.
02.
"Would you like some eggs?" Mrs. Matsumoto asked Jun when he stepped into the kitchen moments later.
"Sure," he answered and stood at the kitchen doorway watching her. He did not move to take a seat at the table nor did he move from the entrance.
Turning from the counter to the stove, Mrs. Matsumoto glanced at him and noticed that someone stood behind him, using him as a shield. She sighed. "Did your friends sneak in here last night again? Who slept over?"
"No one," Jun said. Then he added, "Can you make some eggs for Satoshi as well?"
Mrs. Matsumoto paused in the act of cracking another egg into the frying pan. She looked at the second pair of legs behind her son's again. "Satoshi," she called and finally recognized him. "How would you like your eggs?"
Jun answered for him. "Sunny-side-up, please."
Satoshi gratefully hid behind Jun and listened to the sounds his mother made as she moved about the kitchen.
"Your father and I are going on a fishing picnic today," Mrs. Matsumoto announced. "Will you boys join us?"
"Why all of a sudden?" Jun asked.
Mr. Matsumoto stomped through the side door into the kitchen and stood by the threshold in his fishing boots. "Your mother wants to spend some time together as a family. If you boys aren't doing anything, I hope you can join us."
Jun felt Satoshi's grip on the back of his shirt tighten. He answered, "I'm not sure."
Mr. Matsumoto glanced at his wife and saw her fallen expression. He urged, "We haven't done anything together this summer. Your mother and I would be happy if the both of you could go."
As always, Jun could not say no to his parents. "Okay," he said. He felt Satoshi release him and he turned to see his older brother run up the stairs back to their room.
03.
Jun found Satoshi curled up by the window, gazing out but seeing nothing. His face and the sadness in his eyes were illuminated by the sunlight.
"I can't do it," he murmured.
Jun set the breakfast tray he carried down on his desk and crawled over on his hands and knees to brother. He reached out and smoothed one palm over Satoshi's soft cheek.
"She's my mother, too," Jun said. "I'm sorry. I can't hate her."
Satoshi dropped his head into his arms. "I don't hate her," he said. "B-but, Jun, I c-can't forgive her."
Jun moved in and wrapped his arms around him. Satoshi melted into his warmth.
"Am I wrong?" he asked.
04.
They set up the picnic area a few meters from the bank where the men could hear Mrs. Matsumoto without her necessarily having to revert to shouting.
Mr. Matsumoto helped Jun with his first throw then moved to help Satoshi with his first ever experience handling a fishing rod.
While he hooked the bait, Mr. Matsumoto grinned and said, "I'm glad we're finally fishing together."
Satoshi saw his easy, friendly smile and he remembered the promise his step-father had made before summer. But he also recalled last night when his mother had revealed his step-father's role in his parents' divorce. Could he blame this man, too?
"Dad?" Jun bellowed. "I think I got something." He yanked his rod and turned the reel.
Mr. Matsumoto dropped everything he was doing and ran to his son's side. Satoshi stepped over and watched as father and son struggled to reel in Jun's first catch of the day.
"Did you get something?" Mrs. Matsumoto asked from behind them.
Satoshi turned. He saw her on her feet watching them, excitement bubbling in her body. He watched Jun hand over the fishing pole to his father and urged his father to catch the fish. Jun leaned forward excitedly as the fish was pulled out of the water and slapped against the bank.
"Yes! I caught one!" he screamed. "I win! First one within five minutes!"
Mr. Matsumoto crouched down to pull out the hook from its mouth while behind them Mrs. Matsumoto could be heard clapping and congratulating her son.
Satoshi felt like a stranger watching a play.
"Go fill the bucket with water," Mr. Matsumoto ordered his son as he set the fish free onto the grass.
Jun grabbed the bucket where they would keep their catches and then with his other hand he snatched up Satoshi's hand. He smiled at his brother. "Come with me."
Satoshi allowed himself to be dragged along.
At the water's edge, they crouched down to dip the bucket into the river. Jun took a quick glance behind and saw his parents were not looking at them. He drew Satoshi's hand up and stole a quick peck on his palm.
Flushing heavily but pleased, Jun whispered, "I want you to have fun, too."
A butterfly in Satoshi's chest fluttered and he felt heat climb up his face. For the first time since they've arrived, he felt like he belonged.
"I'm going to have fun today," he promised and his reward was Jun's satisfied smile.
05.
Jun tired of fishing quickly and by mid-afternoon he opted to sit with his mother as they watched Satoshi and Mr. Matsumoto by the riverbank. Mrs. Matsumoto was setting up a late luncheon for all of them and he did whatever errands she asked of him. When he returned with a bag of ice from the closest store, she was in the process of laying out the food they had brought.
Jun set the bag of ice down next to the drinks and moved to his mother's side.
"This reminds me of how I met your father," Mrs. Matsumoto started. She turned and smiled at Jun. "Have I ever told you?
"No," Jun answered, not at all sure he wanted to hear. But this was his mother and even if he could walk away from his noisy female classmates, he couldn't walk away from her.
"Your father saved me from drowning from this very river," she reminisced happily. "He was a hero."
Jun's brows came together. "I thought father couldn't swim."
"That's exactly why he was such a hero. It was not very funny at the time, but we were both coughing and spluttering together trying to breathe. Talk about a first impression." She chuckled and then all of a sudden her face softened and a faraway look entered her eyes.
Jun guessed that his mother had still been married to Satoshi's father at the time and he wanted to know why she'd been drowning alone on that day. Where had Mr. Ohno been? But he couldn't ask. He did not want to bring up a subject that he didn't know its effect on his mother. So he asked evasively instead, "Mom, why did you marry dad?"
Her mind returned to the present and her gaze focused on him. She smiled again. "Because he loves me. One day, when you are much older and you meet that girl you cannot bear to let go, you'll know. Right now, you're still too young to understand."
She removed the plastic wrap around the last dish and interrupted with, "There. Call your father and Satoshi over, Jun. We're all starving."
He left her side and moved to the pair at the riverbank. He couldn't tell his mother that he had already met that person in his life that he couldn't bear to lose, and that person wasn't a girl.
06.
The sun was setting while they packed everything back into the car after an entire day spent fishing and on a picnic. On the drive home, darkness descended on them.
In the middle of the calming, silent drive, Mr. Matsumoto reached over and grasped his wife's hand. Startled, she looked at him and then smiled. She turned in her seat and saw Satoshi and Jun sleeping quietly in the back seat. Mr. Matsumoto also glanced at them through the rear-view mirror.
Jun slept with his back straight, but his neck craned to the side in an uncomfortable upright position whereas Satoshi leaned against his shoulder. They breathed as one in peaceful slumber.
"Thank you for today," Mrs. Matsumoto said to her husband. "I wish... I just hope that this happiness will last a little longer."
"I promised you safety, comfort, and happiness when you married me. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it lasts," Mr. Matsumoto told her.
"No, you've already done a lot for me. You've done enough," Mrs. Matsumoto replied. She inhaled and closed her eyes. "This is enough."
She did not want to be greedy. Just as when her ex-husband, Mr. Ohno, forced her to choose between two happiness, she was afraid that by wanting more, one day she'd have to make a sacrifice as she had done in the past. And one time had already cost her dearly.
* *
TWENTY-EIGHT ~ X-TWENTY-SEVEN.FIVE