Sugar and Pepper (42)
FORTY-ONE
* FORTY-TWO *
01.
Sho and he were in the crowded library during coincidentally aligned self-study periods. In between breaks, Satoshi managed to ask his underclassman if he would be busy on the twenty-fourth.
"I have to go my father's business party," Sho told him. "It's a formal event and my mother already set me up with a date. I know I'll be the most miserable person on Christmas Eve."
Satoshi gave him quiet assurance with a murmured, "My parents and Jun will be out. I'll be alone."
Sho sighed and looked at him with pity. "Sorry, I was too dramatic."
But as a spark entered the freshman's eyes he leaned in closer to the older boy to express the idea that had just come to him.
"What if I leave the party early? I heard there'll be lights and fireworks in the Square. Let's go together," he suggested.
As long as he would just be with Sho and it was not a party with other people he didn't know, Satoshi was glad to accept the proposal. He was relieved to not be alone on another Christmas. He vigorously agreed with a nod of his head.
Sho seemed as relieved by his answer and moved back to sit comfortably in his chair. "I'll just sneak out," he said. "As long as I was at the party, mother can't say anything."
02.
In another area of the school, Jun stared lifelessly out the classroom window. The weather forecast had predicted snow for the day, but it was already the late afternoon and he had yet to see any trace of snow. He thought it regretful. He wanted to see a bit of snow before Christmas.
"I'm going to fail the English test," the friend sitting beside him bemoaned. "You've been studying, Jun. Help me!"
"Jun's ahead of us," another friend interrupted. "He's been studying for stuff that's not even going to be on the exams."
"It's because his brother's going abroad. How lucky," the first friend said, throwing his head down on his desk unhappily.
Jun finally turned around to address his friends. He returned to the subject of his friend's agony, not wanting to talk about his brother. "That's what you get for slacking off," he teased his friend. "Just accept it and take supplementary lessons."
"It's on the Eve!" his friend started. "That's when we have the party!"
Jun shrugged indifferently. "That's your problem."
03.
Hours later after school Jun had just finished changing his shoes when he heard a shout of joy. He and quite a few of the others turned to see Aiba Masaki happily running through the lockers and out.
"He's an idiot," Jun heard someone mutter behind him and saw that it was Kazunari.
His classmate caught his glance and inclined his head in greeting before slowly making his way out.
Jun closed his locker and followed, but changed the route of his path. He made his way to the senior building where he saw Satoshi exiting at the same unhurried pace. Just seeing his brother again after his long, depressing day set off fluttering in the pit of his stomach. He wished he could hug Satoshi tightly. Jun fought the urge and only nodded at his brother to acknowledge his presence as the older boy fell into step beside him.
Satoshi took a quick look at the sky and murmured, "It didn't snow."
Because Jun had been thinking the exact same thing he felt a jolt of surprise run through him.
"Satoshi," he started, his hand unfolding as he unconsciously reached for his brother's arm.
"Maybe it'll snow tomorrow," Satoshi said.
Jun's hand paused in midair uncertainly and then he pulled it back.
"Yes," he agreed. "Maybe it will."
04.
As Mrs. Matsumoto was clearing away dinner that night, she stopped to ask Jun how late he would be staying out on Christmas Eve. Satoshi had just run up to their room and Jun hesitated as he contemplated his answer.
"Before midnight," he decided. "Will you and dad be home?"
"We hope to be back by Christmas afternoon," she told him. "Satoshi will be out also. I just want to make sure you two will be safe."
"We will," Jun assured her.
He turned to run up the stairs as his mind raced with the news his mother had just given him. So his brother would be out also. That might have been why his brother had asked him if he would be preoccupied during the twenty-fourth. Satoshi had feared that he would be leaving Jun alone.
"I'm fine," he murmured to himself as he entered his room.
Satoshi heard and turned to look at him from the floor where he was studying.
Jun shook his head to mean that it was nothing and went to his desk.
05.
As they prepared to sleep, Jun seated on the edge of his bed and watched as Satoshi made his futon before crawling under the covers. Once his older brother was settled with his back turned to Jun, the younger boy picked himself up and went to turn off the lights. He returned to his bed and crawled under the covers also. He turned on his side so that he could see Satoshi's outline in the darkness.
The distance between them and the coldness of it pricked Jun like a thousand needles. It seemed like just yesterday when Satoshi's warm body had been lined up against him under the covers. He was the one to end that, he reminded himself, because he couldn't take it anymore. He shouldn't feel sorry for himself.
06.
"Jun?"
After what felt like a few minutes of sleep, Jun forced his way out of the peaceful darkness and opened his eyes. Wane morning light were filtering into their room. It was already time to wake up. He found himself blinking up into the face of his older brother.
"Jun, it's morning. You slept through the alarm," Satoshi gently told him. "If we run, we won't be late for school."
Jun sat upright and was regretful when his brother moved back to give him space. He rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep last night."
Satoshi smiled encouragingly at him and shook his head to tell his younger brother that it was no problem at all.
Again Jun watched him and he couldn't stop the regret that curdled inside his chest. He turned bleary eyes to the window and tried not to think about it even though the ache in his chest persisted. How wasn't sure how he was going to take anymore of it.
* *
FORTY-THREE
* FORTY-TWO *
01.
Sho and he were in the crowded library during coincidentally aligned self-study periods. In between breaks, Satoshi managed to ask his underclassman if he would be busy on the twenty-fourth.
"I have to go my father's business party," Sho told him. "It's a formal event and my mother already set me up with a date. I know I'll be the most miserable person on Christmas Eve."
Satoshi gave him quiet assurance with a murmured, "My parents and Jun will be out. I'll be alone."
Sho sighed and looked at him with pity. "Sorry, I was too dramatic."
But as a spark entered the freshman's eyes he leaned in closer to the older boy to express the idea that had just come to him.
"What if I leave the party early? I heard there'll be lights and fireworks in the Square. Let's go together," he suggested.
As long as he would just be with Sho and it was not a party with other people he didn't know, Satoshi was glad to accept the proposal. He was relieved to not be alone on another Christmas. He vigorously agreed with a nod of his head.
Sho seemed as relieved by his answer and moved back to sit comfortably in his chair. "I'll just sneak out," he said. "As long as I was at the party, mother can't say anything."
02.
In another area of the school, Jun stared lifelessly out the classroom window. The weather forecast had predicted snow for the day, but it was already the late afternoon and he had yet to see any trace of snow. He thought it regretful. He wanted to see a bit of snow before Christmas.
"I'm going to fail the English test," the friend sitting beside him bemoaned. "You've been studying, Jun. Help me!"
"Jun's ahead of us," another friend interrupted. "He's been studying for stuff that's not even going to be on the exams."
"It's because his brother's going abroad. How lucky," the first friend said, throwing his head down on his desk unhappily.
Jun finally turned around to address his friends. He returned to the subject of his friend's agony, not wanting to talk about his brother. "That's what you get for slacking off," he teased his friend. "Just accept it and take supplementary lessons."
"It's on the Eve!" his friend started. "That's when we have the party!"
Jun shrugged indifferently. "That's your problem."
03.
Hours later after school Jun had just finished changing his shoes when he heard a shout of joy. He and quite a few of the others turned to see Aiba Masaki happily running through the lockers and out.
"He's an idiot," Jun heard someone mutter behind him and saw that it was Kazunari.
His classmate caught his glance and inclined his head in greeting before slowly making his way out.
Jun closed his locker and followed, but changed the route of his path. He made his way to the senior building where he saw Satoshi exiting at the same unhurried pace. Just seeing his brother again after his long, depressing day set off fluttering in the pit of his stomach. He wished he could hug Satoshi tightly. Jun fought the urge and only nodded at his brother to acknowledge his presence as the older boy fell into step beside him.
Satoshi took a quick look at the sky and murmured, "It didn't snow."
Because Jun had been thinking the exact same thing he felt a jolt of surprise run through him.
"Satoshi," he started, his hand unfolding as he unconsciously reached for his brother's arm.
"Maybe it'll snow tomorrow," Satoshi said.
Jun's hand paused in midair uncertainly and then he pulled it back.
"Yes," he agreed. "Maybe it will."
04.
As Mrs. Matsumoto was clearing away dinner that night, she stopped to ask Jun how late he would be staying out on Christmas Eve. Satoshi had just run up to their room and Jun hesitated as he contemplated his answer.
"Before midnight," he decided. "Will you and dad be home?"
"We hope to be back by Christmas afternoon," she told him. "Satoshi will be out also. I just want to make sure you two will be safe."
"We will," Jun assured her.
He turned to run up the stairs as his mind raced with the news his mother had just given him. So his brother would be out also. That might have been why his brother had asked him if he would be preoccupied during the twenty-fourth. Satoshi had feared that he would be leaving Jun alone.
"I'm fine," he murmured to himself as he entered his room.
Satoshi heard and turned to look at him from the floor where he was studying.
Jun shook his head to mean that it was nothing and went to his desk.
05.
As they prepared to sleep, Jun seated on the edge of his bed and watched as Satoshi made his futon before crawling under the covers. Once his older brother was settled with his back turned to Jun, the younger boy picked himself up and went to turn off the lights. He returned to his bed and crawled under the covers also. He turned on his side so that he could see Satoshi's outline in the darkness.
The distance between them and the coldness of it pricked Jun like a thousand needles. It seemed like just yesterday when Satoshi's warm body had been lined up against him under the covers. He was the one to end that, he reminded himself, because he couldn't take it anymore. He shouldn't feel sorry for himself.
06.
"Jun?"
After what felt like a few minutes of sleep, Jun forced his way out of the peaceful darkness and opened his eyes. Wane morning light were filtering into their room. It was already time to wake up. He found himself blinking up into the face of his older brother.
"Jun, it's morning. You slept through the alarm," Satoshi gently told him. "If we run, we won't be late for school."
Jun sat upright and was regretful when his brother moved back to give him space. He rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep last night."
Satoshi smiled encouragingly at him and shook his head to tell his younger brother that it was no problem at all.
Again Jun watched him and he couldn't stop the regret that curdled inside his chest. He turned bleary eyes to the window and tried not to think about it even though the ache in his chest persisted. How wasn't sure how he was going to take anymore of it.
* *
FORTY-THREE