A Single Footprint in the Snow (08)
SEVEN
EIGHT: HIS FEARS
Nino returns to an empty apartment and his first thought is where Aiba is. He hadn't thought to ask what the other man does for a living and if Aiba is confined to the same eight hours a day work-day that he is subjected to, minus the consistent overtime he has to put in. Having expected the other man to be in, Nino finds that he is disappointed to be alone. He puts on his game and plays as night begins to fall and darkness settles in.
Before midnight, he finally hears a key fumbling in the lock and then many seconds later Aiba is tottering through. On the genkan, Aiba looks around warily into the dimness.
"K-kazu?" he calls out tentatively. There is a catch in his voice.
"Here," Nino replies monotously and turns on the nearest light switch. Light floods the sitting room and he has to wait for his sight to adjust to it.
Aiba hiccups and sighs in relief from just inside the doorway. "You didn't leave."
Nino looks him over, understanding that Aiba is drunk. He doesn't make a move to help his alleged boyfriend. "Why would I leave? This is my apartment."
Aiba staggers to the sitting room, but just before he reaches Nino he falls to his knees and almost hurls.
Nino scrambles down to his aid at last. "Idiot! Get to the bathroom if you want to throw up!" he screams.
Aiba throws his arms around Nino's shoulders and his weight pushes them to the ground. Nino lands on his back and on his head none too gently. Aiba, however, doesn't notice and keeps him pinned to the ground. He palms Nino's cheek with a hand and presses his lips to Nino's other cheek. Against Nino's skin, he whispers, "My little kitten, don't leave me. If you want to call off the wedding, I will. I will do anything for you, except, don't break up with me."
Nino's heart pound in his ears and despite the alcohol he smells from Aiba, he isn't as repulsed of the other man as he should have been. Aiba's affection for him is straightforward and sincere. He wishes he can reciprocate. He cannot; not in the same way. The fact that he cannot give Aiba what he wants wracks Nino with guilt and causes him to push Aiba away. Nino uses all of his strength and throws the drunken taller man off of him.
Aiba falls clumsily to the side and turns to see Nino move to stand by the couch.
Nino refuses to catch his eye and instead looks at the ground. "I'm not breaking up with you," he says. "At least, not yet. Not until I understand what's going on. Don't worry."
"Kazu..." Aiba starts.
"But I'm not the Kazunari you know," Nino mutters. He takes a deep breath and continues. "The other Kazunari, the one you call kitten, he's not here. I'm sorry. I'm not the person you love."
Aiba looks at the floor as if he'd been struck dumb, although Nino isn't saying anything new, and as his lower lips begin to tremble he suddenly heaves. He pukes on the floor directly in front of him.
* *
NINE
EIGHT: HIS FEARS
Nino returns to an empty apartment and his first thought is where Aiba is. He hadn't thought to ask what the other man does for a living and if Aiba is confined to the same eight hours a day work-day that he is subjected to, minus the consistent overtime he has to put in. Having expected the other man to be in, Nino finds that he is disappointed to be alone. He puts on his game and plays as night begins to fall and darkness settles in.
Before midnight, he finally hears a key fumbling in the lock and then many seconds later Aiba is tottering through. On the genkan, Aiba looks around warily into the dimness.
"K-kazu?" he calls out tentatively. There is a catch in his voice.
"Here," Nino replies monotously and turns on the nearest light switch. Light floods the sitting room and he has to wait for his sight to adjust to it.
Aiba hiccups and sighs in relief from just inside the doorway. "You didn't leave."
Nino looks him over, understanding that Aiba is drunk. He doesn't make a move to help his alleged boyfriend. "Why would I leave? This is my apartment."
Aiba staggers to the sitting room, but just before he reaches Nino he falls to his knees and almost hurls.
Nino scrambles down to his aid at last. "Idiot! Get to the bathroom if you want to throw up!" he screams.
Aiba throws his arms around Nino's shoulders and his weight pushes them to the ground. Nino lands on his back and on his head none too gently. Aiba, however, doesn't notice and keeps him pinned to the ground. He palms Nino's cheek with a hand and presses his lips to Nino's other cheek. Against Nino's skin, he whispers, "My little kitten, don't leave me. If you want to call off the wedding, I will. I will do anything for you, except, don't break up with me."
Nino's heart pound in his ears and despite the alcohol he smells from Aiba, he isn't as repulsed of the other man as he should have been. Aiba's affection for him is straightforward and sincere. He wishes he can reciprocate. He cannot; not in the same way. The fact that he cannot give Aiba what he wants wracks Nino with guilt and causes him to push Aiba away. Nino uses all of his strength and throws the drunken taller man off of him.
Aiba falls clumsily to the side and turns to see Nino move to stand by the couch.
Nino refuses to catch his eye and instead looks at the ground. "I'm not breaking up with you," he says. "At least, not yet. Not until I understand what's going on. Don't worry."
"Kazu..." Aiba starts.
"But I'm not the Kazunari you know," Nino mutters. He takes a deep breath and continues. "The other Kazunari, the one you call kitten, he's not here. I'm sorry. I'm not the person you love."
Aiba looks at the floor as if he'd been struck dumb, although Nino isn't saying anything new, and as his lower lips begin to tremble he suddenly heaves. He pukes on the floor directly in front of him.
* *
NINE