Erratic Parade (part 1)
Title: Erratic Parade
Pairing: Jun/Ohno, Jun/Sho, Jun/Nino
Rating: PG-15
Summary: The outwardly perfect Matsumoto Jun meets his perfect match, but their story is far from perfect.
Notes: Written for shardaunei at the 2015 arashi-exchange P1 P2
-- August 31st, 199X --
On a late summer night, the young Matsumoto escaped to the beach behind his home. The wane moonlight cast a pure glow over the trees, rocks and stretch of endless sand. In the near darkness, the black waters soared and spilled over the white sand in waves. He trudged up to the edge of the cliff overlooking the waters with a hardcover book and brown paper bag tucked securely under his arm.
Matsumoto made sure he had lost Itou and his nanny before he dropped to his knees at the base of the only tree on the overhanging cliff over the waters. He used the firm edge of the book to dig a hole into the ground in between two particularly gnarly roots. His makeshift tool did not relieve the difficulty of his task and in just a few shovels, the thick cardboard cover contorted, but he did not bemoan the futility of it. Matsumoto persistently burrowed the corner of his book into the ground until the dirt finally gave way and a shallow, ragged crater formed. Into the hole, he placed the bag and buried it. He patted the uncovered soil into place with his small, dirty hands.
At the top of the cliff, Matsumoto thought he would catch sight of any person coming to search for him, but he failed to notice the presence of another boy until the boy was upon him.
The boy appeared from behind, startling Matsumoto completely. He hurriedly jumped back to show he meant no harm when Matsumoto tried to edge past him and run. "I'm sorry. Please stay," he said hopefully.
Against the words of caution his nanny often told him, Matsumoto stayed. A boy his age was a rare sight, especially around here. And because he desired companionship so much, he could not believe that this boy meant him harm as his nanny feared. The boy with fair hair and a friendly, round face was at least a head taller than Matsumoto. Likewise, he was as impeccably dressed. But his starched white shirt and shorts were not smudged with dirt as was Matsumoto's. Belatedly, the young Matsumoto realized he would earn a scolding from his nanny.
The boy who had followed Matsumoto's gaze over his ruined attire quickly said, "I won't tell anyone if you promise to play with me."
Playing with the newcomer seemed like a terrific idea, but Matsumoto remembered that he had to return home. His nanny and Itou, who must be searching for him, would most certainly withhold his free time as punishment for his escapade tonight.
Seeing his crestfallen expression, the boy said, "Please, don't be sad. I'll wait until you can play."
-- Present Day --
It was 13:30, half an hour before he was due to be there.
Matsumoto strolled into the large conference room where the meeting between his directors and those of the affiliated company would convene at two o'clock in the afternoon. He was early, as usual, but a step inside the open double doors, he paused in surprise when his eyes beheld the broad back of a person that had arrived even earlier than him. His secretary who was following close behind ran into him, distanced himself and was profusely murmuring his apologies, but Matsumoto didn’t seem to notice.
From where he stood at the end of the long table, the man turned at their entrance and grinned widely at Matsumoto. He walked around the table and approached Matsumoto with his right hand extended. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. I am Sakurai Sho from Cherry Sky Enterprise," he said in polite tones.
The rate of Matsumoto's heart increased in reaction to everything that was the magnificent man before him. Sakurai was handsome, oozed charisma, had a friendly smile and he also appeared resolute and intelligent. In one glance, Sakurai seemed to be a perfect being. Matsumoto took the latter's offered hand and their heads simultaneously dipped in a bow. "Matsumoto Jun. Chief executive director of M.J. Cooperation," he said.
Sakurai smiled confidently and in that instant, Matsumoto knew with certainty that he wanted this man more than he'd ever wanted anybody else.
--
Eight hours later, Matsumoto pinned Sakurai to the door of a rented suite in a five star hotel. Between breathless kisses and indiscreet gropes, they eventually had each other naked and panting when they reached the soft bed.
Matsumoto pushed Sakurai onto his back and straddled his middle, pressing hot skin together. He paused long enough to splay his hand over Sakurai's smooth, pale chest and quietly admired it as he caressed the beauty of it.
Sakurai caught his breath. "How often do you do this?" he asked.
Too often, Matsumoto thought to himself, but not like this. This was special. Sakurai, bewildering enough, was different. Did head-over-heels adequately describe this feeling of instant, crazy attraction? Sakurai must have felt it too, otherwise, he wouldn't be here.
Matsumoto heard Sakurai's gasp beneath him as his roving fingers touched a taut nipple. He cleared his mind. He did not want to waste time on thinking or talking, wanting them to feel each other with their hands, lips, and heated bodies instead.
Without answering Sakurai's earlier question, he leaned down to capture Sakurai's moan with his lips.
--
Sakurai eased off the double bed and pulled on his haphazardly discarded clothes.
The quiet movements woke Matsumoto from his light nap and he stretched lazily from his side of the bed. He sat up against the soft pillows and watched as Sakurai stuffed his wrinkled shirt into his trousers and buckled his belt. The satisfied smile on Matsumoto's face turned into a frown as his sleepiness dissipated with clarity upon realizing the situation. "Where are you going?" he asked. "We have the whole night."
Sakurai pulled on his shoes and stood dressed and ready. He paused by the doorway. Without turning, he said, "I don't often do this. Perhaps you're used to this. I'm not. I'm sorry." He opened the door and left.
Matsumoto gaped in the silence and sudden bereavement of Sakurai's departure. His head fell against the pillows and in frustration, he bit the knuckle of his right index finger. Somewhere along the way, he had made a mistake, but it wasn't only his mistake. With whatever doubts Sakurai had repressed, he had not said anything. Now he was gone.
--
"Ask him out on a date," Ohno advised him, biting on the end of a pen and sprawled out over a chair in Matsumoto's private office. "It's simple, Jun."
For Matsumoto, it was not quite simple. Obviously, Sakurai had rejected him by walking out of that hotel room. Sakurai had barely explained himself and had not given Matsumoto the opportunity to explain himself either. What more was there to do? The worse of it was that Sakurai worked for a company he was currently under contract with. Usually, he kept business relations strictly business since the consequence was his current problem; awkwardness on both sides.
Ohno, who knew his thoughts in and out, said derisively, "It's too late now. You should have kept your hands off him instead of treating him like one of your regular lays."
Matsumoto leaned back against his chair and closed his eyes. The strain in his shoulders, within his chest and inside his mind was burdensome.
His best friend gave up trying to persuade him and allowed him to drown in dejection for the time being.
Matsumoto forced himself to think about work instead and reached for the mail his secretary had deposited on his desk that afternoon. He shifted listlessly through them until he came to a yellow envelope with the purple stamp of a well-known crest on the back. He sighed as he opened the usual bi-monthly letter he received from Itou, the head butler of the Matsumoto family. Of those at home, only Itou ever dared to write and contact him.
Matsumoto read the contents out loud for Ohno's benefit. His head butler gave him short-hand details on the estate and assured him of the house servant's content despite one mischievous steward. He finished, "We sincerely hope that the young master will grace us with his presence this year." He met Ohno's eyes across the room.
Ohno pursed his lips nonchalantly. "Of course he'll ask, Jun. You haven't been home in two years."
Matsumoto sighed and swiveled his chair back to stare out the line of windows behind him. His office was on the highest floor of the building and towered over the city. He looked out at the miniature people, buildings, and cars below. He thought about Sakurai and his lustful cravings that one night had not extinguished, about his work, and most importantly, about the one person back at the estate he had not seen in the last two years. "A vacation for myself is long overdue," he muttered.
"Jun, you're running away again,” Ohno said. "What about Sakurai?"
"We're business associates," Matsumoto answered. He brushed his indecisions aside and called for his secretary to come into his office.
His secretary burst into his room a minute later, out of breath and horrified. "What's wrong?" the man asked. "Is the coffee too sweet again? I can make you a new cup of coffee if you want. Will you need a new cup of coffee, director? Or did I write the wrong heading in the last email? I'm so sorry! I'll fix it quickly!"
Matsumoto glanced wryly at Ohno across the room who was bowed over with silent laughter. Perhaps it was his fault for being so meticulous and demanding that his employees be the same. But his secretary's sensitivity wasn't his problem. It crossed his mind that he would find no fault in Sakurai's work. Matsumoto once again cleared his head. Why would Sakurai's capabilities matter to him?
To his flustered secretary he said, "Nonsense. I've decided to make a trip to the Matsumoto main house. I'll stay there for an indefinite period of time and will take what work I can with me. You'll send me the rest as it comes along and take care of everything else. Don't contact me on your sudden whims."
Incredulous at his employer's spontaneous vacation, his secretary gaped, swallowed and squeaked, "What about your meetings?"
Matsumoto frowned and leaned forward to press his elbows against his desk. He touched the knuckle of his right index finger to the underside of his bottom lip thoughtfully. "Was there anything important scheduled for this month?"
"A dinner party held by the president of the DASH group, director," his secretary helpfully reminded him.
"Joushima won't miss me," Matsumoto said. "He usually disappears before most of his guests arrive anyway."
After his subdued secretary left the room, Matsumoto turned to see the clear disapproval on Ohno's usually unperturbed expression. He'd known Ohno since they were children and likewise, he could guess his best friend's thoughts. "You're coming with me?" Matsumoto asked him.
Predictably, Ohno pursed his lower lip and turned his head.
--
The morning he was to depart, Matsumoto woke up from a sensual dream and took a half hour long cold shower, reminding himself why he had to leave. Perhaps, meeting Sakurai was more of a curse than anything else.
He carefully packed as much work as he could, gave more orders to his unhappy secretary, locked up his penthouse apartment in the city and left for his family home in the isolated countryside. He spent the short duration in his luxurious jet plane and thereafter the long drive, trying not to contemplate his rushed departure.
The sleek black car that carried him and Ohno from the airport reached the tall iron gates of the Matsumoto property and drove through the subsequent lengthy cobbled driveway. Once they reached the end, the driver parked in the courtyard, directly below the wide staircase leading to the manor that had been in the family for generations. Made from red stone, the mansion stood in the glowing afternoon sun like a spike of hell fire. It had three main floors, discounting the extra floor in the west wing, or the basement where the servants slept, and the sub-basement storage.
Matsumoto did not step out immediately even after his driver opened the door for him. From the backseat, he watched the line of servants awaiting him outside the large front double doors. There were only two dozen of them employed year round even with an absent owner. They stood dressed tidily in their uniforms and wearing warm smiles. It took Matsumoto less than a few seconds to note that the one person who should have come to greet him especially was not present.
At last, he stepped out of the car and onto the stone courtyard. He rescanned the welcoming faces of his butlers, maids, a gardener and cook and resigned to the fact that his steward, Ninomiya, was not among them. He asked as he made his way up the stairs and inside, "Where's Nino?"
Itou, keeping stride beside him, regretfully relayed, "He's locked himself inside his room." Then the head butler sincerely added, "We're glad to have you back, Master Jun. Welcome home."
--
After Matsumoto showered and changed, had a quiet and fulfilling dinner and a glass of red wine in the salon, the knot in his chest loosened. The ordinariness of his surroundings and homecoming relieved his tense body and mind and he understood that despite Ohno's disapproval, coming back had been a leap in the correct direction. Here, Sakurai and his problem were thousands of miles away. At ease, he determined to spend the rest of the night reviewing the work that he should have completed during the time he'd lost traveling.
He went to his study where a familiar voice assaulted his ears as soon as he entered.
From a window seat framed between velvet drapes that touched the carpeted floor, the previously absent Ninomiya sang obnoxiously, "The sky, the earth, the sea-" His small back pressed against the clear glass and his short legs swung restlessly. His high-pitched voice carried across the study as he continued, "The stars, the moon, the sun-"
Matsumoto paused just long enough in the doorway to ascertain that despite the two years he'd been away, his employee had barely changed. His lips were pressed together in a thin line as he refrained from grinning at their standard reunion and took a seat at his elaborate, mahogany desk where Itou had scrupulously deposited his suitcase.
"To heart, to life, to fate," Ninomiya went on in his distracting childish sing-song. His skinny arms circled around himself in an embrace and he squeezed.
Matsumoto's resolve withered and he looked over at Ninomiya, nestled cozily in the window alcove. He asked, "What are you doing, Nino?"
"I'm keeping you company, my lord," Ninomiya said as if it was the most obvious answer. "You rarely come home. It's lonely here. Mr. Itou and I keep this place running smoothly year round just for your sake. I wish you would come back more often. The others don't like to play."
Matsumoto, who knew his steward was not the most desirable playmate, disregarded Ninomiya's plea and said instead, "You did not come out to greet me when I arrived. I thought you'd finally run away from boredom."
Ninomiya sniffed, mildly offended. "Don't bait me, my lord. Despite the difficulties, I'm responsible and reliable. I wouldn't run away from important duties just because I'm bored. Especially not since I've yet to enact my How-To-Worship-Matsumoto-Jun-Plan edition sixteen. Did you like my song, my lord?"
It was yet another version of Ninomiya's bewildering mind games, the sixteenth edition, and Matsumoto had grown tired of it. He turned his attention to the work at hand and commanded, "Get out, Nino. I plan to work and I don't want to be disturbed."
"Will you be staying long? When will you depart again?" Ninomiya asked, hopeful.
Matsumoto kept his focus on the documents he'd pulled out and refused to answer.
Ignored, Ninomiya slid from his seat and stood forlornly. "Where is Satoshi?" he asked. "Is he here?"
Matsumoto graced him with an apathetic reply, "He came with me, but I don't know where he went. Right now he's upset with me and is content to ignore me." He said no more.
Utterly dismissed, Ninomiya watched Matsumoto's bowed head with a mixture of undisguised longing and sorrow before he shuffled from the room.
--
Matsumoto spent hours tirelessly pondering over his work, and only when he was satisfied did he retire in the early morning before dawn.
In his bedroom down the hall in the same wing as his study, he prepared to sleep. He turned off the lamp, pulled the silk comforter around himself, and laid motionlessly in the darkness with his eyes closed. Sakurai loomed into his mind and consequently, the imperfect image of the man imprinted behind his eyes.
In his vulnerable moments before rest, Matsumoto allowed himself to wish he had the courage to not run from commitment. Ohno knew as much.
He asked himself if he really wanted what Ohno thought he should have with Sakurai. His body gave him the answer easily, his lower abdomen straining. It shouldn't just be lust. Matsumoto angrily told himself as he turned on his side and tried to sleep through his treasonous reaction. But it could be more if only he'd allow it to happen.
He heard soft footsteps inside his room and he did not have to open his eyes to know that Ohno had come to bother him.
Ohno easily slipped inside his bed and under the bed sheet. He curled against Matsumoto's back and customarily, Matsumoto did not begrudge him the comforting contact. "Nino is upset with you,"Ohno whispered against the base of his neck.
Matsumoto sighed. "Everyone's upset with me."
Ohno responded slowly, "It's because you don't change."
Matsumoto agreed, but he couldn't let go of his conscious worry.
"Some things can be straightforward. Advance and you can't be lost. Sometimes, it's that simple," Ohno murmured.
Matsumoto turned to face his best friend in the darkness. "I don't comprehend, Satoshi."
Ohno grunted and snuggled closer to his chest. "It's okay, Jun. I spoke to the stars and they told me that they don't cross. You have choices. Just allow yourself to fall."
Matsumoto wished he could follow Ohno's advice, but it went against everything that made him cautious. He extended his arms to pull the smaller body against him. In his embrace, Ohno melded against him and everything was forgotten.
Ohno knew what to do. He reached under the waist-line of Matsumoto's pajamas and briefs.
Matsumoto moaned as his best friend touched him skillfully and deftly, the wonderful nimble hands working him until he spilled over. Once he reached his climax, sleepiness washed over him at last and he quickly cleaned himself, wrapped himself around Ohno's body and fell asleep.
--
He woke up in the early afternoon to bright sunlight filtering through his room, setting rectangular sections of his carpet aglow. He thought Itou must have come in to open the curtains in the morning. The spot beside him was empty and he didn't have to wonder that despite the both of them falling asleep at the same time, Ohno had woken up before him.
Matsumoto stretched lazily and contentedly. He noticed Ninomiya sitting cross legged on the floor at his bedside and jerked in surprise. Unhappy to be so startled, Matsumoto grabbed a pillow and threw it at his steward.
Ninomiya caught the soft pillow easily and grinned as he hugged it to his chest, sitting forward in his eagerness. "That took a while, my lord," he said. "If it took any longer I was going to jump on you. I have important news."
Matsumoto ignored his steward's claim and left his bed. He entered the bathroom adjoined to his bedroom.
Ninomiya followed to just outside the open doorway as Matsumoto began to undress. His eyes greedily moved over the planes and contours of his employer's naked figure, and in the subsequent silence, Matsumoto had to pause and raise a brow at his steward to show some modesty. Two red spots of color dotted Ninomiya's pale cheek, but in contradiction, his lips curled in an unabashed grin.
Matsumoto found his steward's cheeky grin infectious despite his impudence. Trying to cover his answering smile and a resounding thump in his chest, he sternly asked, "What is it, Nino?"
"My lord, you've always been gorgeous," Ninomiya complimented wistfully.
"I never knew," Matsumoto replied wryly, but he heartened at the praise and a thump went off in his chest again.
"But I have to habitually commend my lord on his beauty," Ninomiya said. "It's a rule I carried over from my How-To-Worship-Matsumoto-Jun-Plan edition ten."
"It's your own game, Nino, and you're undermining it by being so open about it," Matsumoto lightly berated him as he stepped into the shower and ran the showerhead. The loud running water made further attempts at a conversation close to impossible. Matsumoto thought his steward would withdraw to the other room and wait for him to be done.
Yet, Ninomiya remained at the doorway and raised his volume to be heard above the shower. "I thought you could need the help, my lord. Mr. panicked-Secretary called this morning to inform you that your latest tease, the industrious Sakurai Sho, learned of your hasty departure yesterday and also your whereabouts. He began his way here late last night, but since he has yet to be seen, your distressed secretary and I concluded that Sakurai is lost."
Matsumoto contemplated the news a few seconds before he understood exactly what had been said. His hand slammed down on the valve and turned the water off. He gaped at Ninomiya and demanded, "Why am I just hearing about this now?"
"I didn't want to disturb your enjoyable sleep," Ninomiya answered smoothly. "And you missed the important part of this news, my lord."
"Sakurai's lost," Matsumoto stated as a matter of fact, the only detail that was important. Anger consumed him. and his farfetched conclusion, never mind the fact that Matsumoto had spoken to no one about Sakurai besides Ohno and that his steward's vast knowledge about the issue was in itself surprising.
Ninomiya shrugged at him and nonchalantly added, "And by the way, I had to babysit Mr. naive-Secretary through the process of sending aid. The helicopters arrived an hour ago and we have been waiting for you to wake up."
--
Matsumoto and Ohno boarded their helicopter a quarter of an hour later. Matsumoto pressed a hand against the window as he leaned in for a closer look at the ground. He muttered from between clenched teeth, "I'm going to strangle Nino when we return."
Ohno watched Ninomiya wave cheerfully from the window of the second helicopter heading in the opposite direction towards the forest. He touched Matsumoto's shoulder lightly. "At least don't kill him because I'll miss him," he said.
Matsumoto threw a dark look at his best friend who was as unperturbed by the dire circumstances as usual. He turned his focus to the beach looming into view. "I didn't think Sakurai could be so reckless," he murmured. His eyes fell on the overhanging cliff and the lone tree that had stood at the top since before he was born.
He used to beg his nanny to take him there, but since the day he'd overheard the lawyers inform Itou about his parents' fatal car accident and he'd run to the cliff to cry, this particular beach had lost its liberating appeal. It brought back childhood memories he didn't want to remember.
Matsumoto's vision had glazed over and he had to blink a few times to clear it when he noticed a speck in the sand. At a closer look, the speck was frantically waving. "That's Sakurai. We found him."
--
Their helicopter landed half a mile away. Matsumoto jumped off and sighted Sakurai wearily running towards them with his arms still swinging above his head. Sakurai's suit jacket had been discarded, darks sweat stains marked his white shirt and his loose tie was askew around his neck. His hair suffered the same sad fate. Exhaustion lined his face, but he did not cease his running and grinned widely, that same grin that had bedazzled Matsumoto at their meeting which was doing the same at that very moment. "I found you!" Sakurai bellowed as he neared them.
Matsumoto, completely enchanted, closed the last distance between them. Against his better judgment, his arms wrapped around the latter.
Sakurai hesitated only for a split moment before returning his embrace.
"Thank goodness you're safe," Matsumoto breathed against his ear. It didn't matter that the last time they'd spoken to each other, Sakurai had been opposite him across a room, speaking coldly and unattached.
"Director Matsumoto, I'm sorry for causing you trouble. I wasn’t thinking clearly," Sakurai started as he pulled back. "It's rude of me to have come all this way without invitation, but your secretary was so panicked when I asked him about you that I became worried."
Matsumoto cleared his throat and distractedly dusted a smudge of dirt from his shirt from where Sakurai's clothes had stained it. "Never mind that. You're already here," he said coolly. He walked back to the helicopter, expecting Sakurai to follow.
Sakurai only understood his intentions once Matsumoto reached the aircraft and turned back to wait for him.
--
They reached the estate in due time and the rest of the search party was called off.
Matsumoto retired to his study while Itou fed Sakurai and ushered him into a warm and soothing bath. His head butler then dropped in on his employer to inform him that Sakurai had been led to a guest room and had promptly fallen asleep.
"Thanks," Matsumoto told him and Itou respectfully bowed out, closing the door behind him. He leaned back against his chair and closed his eyes. "Don't say I told you so," he directed at Ohno who was seated in an armchair around the cold fireplace.
"I thought it'd be cloudy today," Ohno replied in his usual collected way. "I was right. And tomorrow night, it's going to be a thunderstorm."
"This is awful," Matsumoto grumbled. "I'm losing my mind."
"At least you're still beautiful," Ohno lightly told him. "Thus Nino will compliment you."
Ignoring his best friend's nonsense, Matsumoto drew his hands down his face. His vacation had taken a turn for the worse. There were a number of ways to conclude this awkward situation between him and Sakurai. Among them were solutions he wasn't sure he had the guts to undertake. "Is the solution to all of this really that simple?" he directed at his friend.
Ohno turned in the armchair and gave Matsumoto an innocent, sweet smile.
Matsumoto sighed, catching Ohno's eyes and drawing strength from his best friend's natural ease. He leaned forward against his desk and asked quietly, "But will you catch me if I fall?"
"Always," Ohno said with his benevolent smile.
--
For the next day and a half, Matsumoto kept both Sakurai and Ninomiya out of his private quarters by keeping to his wing and forbidding anyone uninvited to intrude. He had his meals brought up to him on a tray while Ohno quietly entertained himself with folding his handkerchiefs into triangular shapes from an armchair, he worked.
On the second night of Sakurai's visit, Matsumoto finally packed away and closed his suitcase.
Ohno perked up from his seat as the lock clicked and sat upright, awaiting Matsumoto's next move.
Matsumoto looked at the designer watch on his wrist. It was a quarter of an hour before dinner would be served, and since he had not directed Itou to bring him a tray, he would be expected downstairs. From Itou's reports, Ninomiya had taken it upon himself to entertain their guest in his absence, as was his duty, and Matsumoto knew they would be joining him for the evening meal.
"Will you be having dinner with us?" Matsumoto asked Ohno.
Ohno smiled serenely and reclined back in his seat. "No, but tell me what you decide," he said.
Matsumoto did not bother to persuade him. Ohno was stubborn about some things, and went down to the main floor.
--
In the salon leading to the dining room, Matsumoto paused as he heard Ninomiya's voice from the adjoining room. He heard Sakurai answer and his steward's responding giggle. His stomach turned and he wondered what had transpired between them in his absence.
When he entered the dining room, Sakurai immediately went rigid and his expression smoothed over, but as Matsumoto should have expected, Ninomiya grinned from his seat and crossed his arms.
"My lord, we've been waiting for you," Ninomiya said, ignoring the awkwardness around them. "If you'd have come any later, Mr. Itou was going to serve us with or without you."
Partially relieved by Ninomiya's usual banter, Matsumoto almost grinned himself, but he kept his expression controlled as he took his seat at the head of the table. "I'm never late. Itou told me dinner would be at six p.m."
Ninomiya said, "You arrived a day late. I was giving Commander Sakurai a tour and history lesson of the gardens."
Matsumoto had an urge to squeeze the breath out of his cheeky steward, but he refrained from doing so. He tried to catch Sakurai's eye, but the latter was attempting to avoid looking at him.
Ninomiya glanced from his cold employer to their uncomfortable guest. He took a much needed deep breath. Suppressing his inner protestations, he pushed back his chair and stood. "It's unbelievable. I left an experiment boiling in my laboratory," he said. "It's a shame, but I'll have to excuse myself and catch my dinner later. Have a goodnight, my lord. Goodnight, Commander Sakurai."
Matsumoto thought it was another lie. And when Ninomiya saluted him and departed, he was certain of it. Sakurai watched the man he'd quickly befriended leave with dismay.
There wasn't much time to regret. The servants came in with their first course and left. The two who were left behind began their meal quietly.
Sakurai started after a difficult swallow, "I intruded into your home without thinking about the consequences. I'm sorry, Director Matsumoto. I would have left yesterday morning, but Nino said he would not forgive me unless I entertained him first. I thought I shouldn't anger your older brother."
Matsumoto thought many things during Sakurai's apology and he had many things to say in return. But he had to correct a misconception first. "Nino isn't my older brother."
Sakurai nodded and furrowed his brows thoughtfully. "I knew he was younger," he said.
Matsumoto deftly cut in, "He's only a childhood friend. I don't have any living close family."
Sakurai's fork hung limply in his hands and his lips parted slightly at his rudeness.
"I was a child when my parents passed away. It's been many years since then," Matsumoto assured him. "Nino was brought here by Itou to be my playmate and companion. Like me, he doesn't have any family." Matsumoto saw Sakurai breathe again and went on, "He stayed even after we grew up. He knows this place inside and out, and I allow him to run the estate in my absence."
"Ah, I see," Sakurai murmured and turned back to his food. Despite having been made a fool of by Ninomiya, Sakurai looked thoughtful. He turned back to Matsumoto without the previous hesitation and asked, "Why does he address you as a lord? I thought it was weird he called you that despite telling me he was your brother."
Matsumoto placed down his fork and rubbed at the corner of his mouth. "I'm not a descendant of some obscure noble, if that's what you're thinking. It’s just Nino isn't conventional, Commander Sakurai."
Sakurai chuckled at the use of his nickname that Nino had devised and it was the first time he'd laughed in Matsumoto's presence since he'd arrived.
Matsumoto basked in the hearty, warm laughter. He beckoned for Sakurai to continue eating and said, "Anyway, you couldn't have left this place on your own. There's only one car and two horses on this estate. You would have gotten lost again. Fortunately, I'm thinking about leaving the day after tomorrow. We'll head back together, if you're willing to accompany me."
Sakurai grinned. "Then I am forgiven for my rude entry into your home?"
Matsumoto wanted to kiss those full lips that had curled up. He remembered Nino's conclusion about why Sakurai had dropped everything and followed him. He thought back to his conversation with Ohno. "As of now," he said in answer to Sakurai's question.
They had yet to settle anything about whatever it was they could have between them, but he thought, perhaps, he had more time to think about it than he initially thought.
--
Ohno was still awake when Matsumoto reached his room. His best friend had taken over his bed and littered it with tissues folded into triangular shapes since he'd finish folding their handkerchiefs yesterday.
Matsumoto sighed and went into his dressing room to undress and pull on his pajamas. When he returned, Ohno had gathered the folded tissues and deposited them on a nightstand where they spilled over onto the floor. He smiled sweetly at Matsumoto as if he could do no wrong and dived into bed ahead of the owner.
Matsumoto climbed into bed on the other side and Ohno moved closer to cuddle against him. "I'm heading back the day after tomorrow," Matsumoto told him, moving one arm so that it fit snugly under Ohno's head as a pillow. "I want you to come, too."
"I'll come," Ohno assured him. "I have nothing to do here. Have you told Nino that you're leaving?"
Matsumoto shifted, uncomfortable about the thought of passing on the news to his steward.
"You have to tell him," Ohno persuaded him. "Remember last time."
"Perhaps," Matsumoto murmured, not wanting to bring up the awful memory. He drew Ohno's small body closer into his arms. He sighed against the top of Ohno's head and into his hair.
"I wish you wouldn't lie to yourself," Ohno said as Matsumoto drifted off to sleep. "When you do, the stars cry."
--
Matsumoto had lunch with Sakurai and wanted to spend more time with him, but he had things to do before he left and Sakurai understandably stood out of his way. He packed his bags and then found Itou to talk about the necessities of the other servants and the household.
In between, Nino crossed their paths and Matsumoto snapped his fingers at his steward to get his attention then wordlessly pointed him towards his study. Ninomiya pulled a face at his employer, but followed his silent orders and stalked to the room as Matsumoto finished his conversation with his head butler.
He joined Ninomiya a few moments later in his study and pulled out a ledger from the bookcase. "I need your head out of the dumps, Nino. We have to talk about business," he said.
Nino sighed, but sat properly in his chair to give Matsumoto his full attention.
They ran over the expenses of keeping the estate running, damages that needed repairs, inconveniences, wages and bonuses, the employees, and much more. By the time they finished and Matsumoto was satisfied with having caught up with things after two years of absence, the sun had already set. He realized they had missed their dinner and belatedly remembered Sakurai who must have eaten alone.
As Matsumoto gathered the documents and spreadsheets they had pulled out and restored the ledger to its place on the bookshelf, he saw his steward sit comfortably back in his chair to wait for him. Matsumoto knew this was the time to tell him the news about his departure. He sat down at his desk and wet his lips. "I will be heading back tomorrow, Nino," he said.
Ninomiya had been sitting lazily in the chair, but at the announcement, he sat upright in a hurry. "You've been here less than a week," he began in protest.
"Sakurai and I have business to attend to back in the city," Matsumoto explained reasonably, yet he saw Ninomiya's devastation and had to turn his eyes down to his hands. He distractedly spun the ring on his left index finger around. "I'm the chief executive director of an enterprise. I cannot be away from work for too long, Nino."
Ninomiya looked wistfully at Matsumoto whose eyes remained downcast. "My lord, when will you come back home? How long will you be away this time? One year? Two years? Five? I...we need you here."
Matsumoto pressed his lips together and steeled himself, repressing the discomfort in his gut. He looked up at Ninomiya with stubbornness. "If you find staying here so tedious, I've always given you the freedom of leaving."
For a moment, Ninomiya looked dumbfounded, then his expression contorted with anger and he stood so abruptly from his chair that the wooden furniture teetered back before righting itself. He stormed from the study.
In the instant silence of his steward's departure, Matsumoto's heart hammered in his chest. He clutched at the low-cut neck of his t-shirt, trying to find a way to control his own anguish, before slamming his hands down on his desk in surrender. "Dammit!" he cursed and stood as abruptly from his chair.
He knew it would become like this, but as always, he couldn't do anything about it.
--
A maid, terrified out of her wits by a furious Matsumoto, quickly pointed to the kitchen's back door when he demanded to know where Ninomiya had gone. She quickly moved out of his way as he went for the exit.
Matsumoto opened to the pitch darkness of night that loomed beyond the white lighted lamps lining the back yard. He hesitated at rushing into the night outside. The scent of rain wafted to him on a whimsical breeze and at closer inspection, he realized that heavy gray clouds obscured the sky, completely shutting out the moon and the stars. Yet, Ninomiya was somewhere out there.
Heaving a breath, Matsumoto dived outside. The kitchen door swung shut behind him and clicked as the automatic lock turned. He stared at the dim narrow sidewalk before him. He'd only taken this route a few of times as a child and only once at night too many years ago. Taking a breath, he started towards the yard.
"Nino!" he called out. A movement far ahead beyond the line of lamps caught his attention. Matsumoto cautiously approached it and squinted to make out a dark form on the bench that led to the flower gardens. "Nino, is that you?" he asked although he recognized the slight form hunched over on the bench.
"I'm not angry, my lord. How can I be angry?" Ninomiya said without much persuasion.
Feeling relief at having found him anyway, Matsumoto advanced and settled on the bench beside him.
In the cover of the darkness, Ninomiya mumbled sadly, "I wish you could stay."
"I can't. You above all should know," Matsumoto replied. "This tantrum of yours is silly. It won't change my decision, Nino." He felt a few drops of rain on his face and knew they should be heading back inside. He opened his mouth to suggest it.
Ninomiya shifted, wrapped a chain to Matsumoto's wrist in several rounds and locked it.
Matsumoto pulled at the metal links, but the other end had been chained to the bench which was hammered into the ground. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"My lord, I'm not angry at you. I'm really not," Ninomiya said unconvincingly. "Perhaps someone will find you before you're supposed to leave tomorrow. Have a good night," He turned on his heels and left.
"Nino, come back here!" Matsumoto tried to run after him, but the chain locked him into place and pulled at him. The metal cut into his wrist and he flinched when it pierced his skin. He kicked his leg futilely. The few drops of rain he'd felt earlier turned into a heavy downpour in a split second and he would've screamed for help if he didn't think it would be pointless.
White lightning sparked the sky and crashing thunder roared overhead. He shivered against the cold and wet rain that pelted down on him. Ninomiya had taken this too far, Matsumoto thought as he succumbed to the ferocious weather.
He sat out in the rain for what seemed like hours and the heavy rain refused to lessen, nor the cries of the sky threatening to break. Exhaustion got the better part of him and he stared lifelessly down at the muddy ground at his feet. The cold set deep into his skin and he hoped he would not catch sickness even as his body began to shake.
The sound of scuffling footsteps over the rain was a relief at last. Matsumoto looked up and shook his head to get the water out of his eyes. He saw standing forlornly before him, as wet to the bone as he, was none other than his steward. The latter watched him as lifelessly as he'd felt a moment ago and the defeat on his face caused Matsumoto's anger and frustration to dissipate.
Slowly, Ninomiya moved forward.
As his steward worked to unlock the chain around his wrist, his head bent intent on his task, Matsumoto shivered again. The fringe of his steward's dark hair was plastered against his forehead and Matsumoto controlled his urge to touch the lanky strands. Their damp clothes clung to the shape of their bodies and he had to turn his eyes away from the fascinating curve of his steward's back.
Ninomiya's skin against his own were as cold as his. Perhaps his steward had been out in the rain as long as he. Perhaps Ninomiya had never left him. Matsumoto moved his tired jaw and murmured, "You took the joke too far, Nino. This silly attempt will never make me stay."
Even in the downpour, Ninomiya did not quicken his pace. His arm brushed lightly against Matsumoto's side as he worked slowly. To his employer, he murmured, "I miss you every time you're out of my sight, my lord."
He sounded so hopeless that even though Matsumoto took it for a scam, his heart slammed painfully against his chest and throat. He had to breathe evenly before he could speak. "This is not the time for your games, Nino," he replied sternly, trying to steer himself towards common sense. The long chain fell with a clang against the bench. Freed at last, he rubbed his aching wrist to distract himself.
Ninomiya laughed hollowly. "Yes, my lord. It was a bad joke." He stepped back and crouched down at Matsumoto's feet, still in no hurry to get out of the rain.
Although he had wished to run inside just moments ago, like his steward, Matsumoto found himself rooted to the spot under the depressing weather. He fruitlessly tried to wipe the water out of his eyes. A different ache had swelled to soreness in his chest. Deep inside himself, he knew there was an answer for both of them, but it was something he had never allowed himself to give in to. He said quietly, watching Ninomiya's hunched form before him, "Nino, it's impossible."
As if that short statement had been what he had been waiting to hear all along, Ninomiya smiled thinly and stood. Misery replaced the vacancy behind his eyes. "Is Satoshi here, my lord?" he asked.
Matsumoto looked past his steward's shoulder and saw his friend standing under the cover of nearby trees. Ohno had been watching them in silence. Since when, he did not know.
Ninomiya saw recognition on his employer's face and knew. He mumbled, "Satoshi will keep you company. I will go back inside first." He wrapped his skinny arms around himself and ran through the rain towards the manor.
Ohno stepped out from his hiding place and approached. He raised his arms above Matsumoto's head to shield his friend from the rain. It was a feeble attempt that did nothing to lessen the rain drops pelting down on Matsumoto, but he still made the effort. He saw the woe that had befallen his best friend and knowing the layers of his friend's heart, he murmured, "It was a mistake by Nino's father. Nino is as much a victim of him as your parents were. You have to stop blaming him, Jun."
Matsumoto ran a hand through his wet, soppy hair and slicked it back. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Even so, it's too late," he said.
Physically freed from the chain had not dissolved the burden inside his chest. He was not ready to head inside. Instead, he curled on the bench with his knees drawn against his bosom. He shivered as lightning seared the sky again, illuminating for a moment the night and the truth he wanted to hide.
Ohno sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around Matsumoto's shaking body. "Jun, I promised I’ll catch you if you fall," he said. "But you're still afraid."
--
Despite a severe headache when he woke in the late afternoon, Matsumoto was determined to be off and a pounding headache was not going to stop him.
Itou brought him a lunch tray since he had noticed that his young master missed dinner. He also wanted to discuss the details of Matsumoto's departure. When he entered his master's bedroom, he saw Matsumoto had washed and dressed, but stood unsteadily on his feet. "Are you unwell, Master Jun?" he asked.
Matsumoto took a seat on the edge of his bed and massaged his heavy head. "I will be fine. Have someone take my bags to the car and ask Sakurai if he's ready to be off. I want to be back by sundown."
"Yes, Master Jun," Itou said and set the tray down, but he stood in place instead of bowing out.
Matsumoto groaned, partly because of his headache and the other because he knew Itou well enough to know that his head butler wished to speak, but feared to offend him. The man had raised him since his parents' accident and was the only one to write to him while he was away. But still, he had reservations about a few things Matsumoto thought mundane. "Speak freely, Itou," Matsumoto said with a tired sigh. "What do you want to say?"
Itou inclined his head in thanks and said, "Master Jun, I knew I could not keep you in my breast pocket forever and befittingly, you have grown up to be an intelligent, sensible man. You take your responsibilities seriously, and I am proud of you."
"But," Matsumoto said for him.
"But," Itou acknowledged, "if you will just drop by every now and then, I will be much happier. Every time you disappear for too long, I fear for both you and Master Kazunari's well-being."
Matsumoto started at the mention of his steward and pressed his fingers harder against his pounding temple. "Is Nino okay?" he asked.
"He doesn't sleep well when you're not here," Itou confessed. "He's afraid to close his eyes."
Matsumoto knew, but he thought Ninomiya had outgrown it in their youths. "How bad is it?" he asked.
Itou was prepared for the answer. "He sleeps one or two hours at most each night," he said and added, "but even less when you're gone."
--
While a butler packed their bags into the car and Sakurai went to thank Itou and the cook for their hospitality, Ohno helped Matsumoto into the backseat of the vehicle. Matsumoto fell against the seat heavily and rested his head against the window. He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the blasted sunlight.
Cool hands and a cold towel were pressed gently against his warm cheeks and forehead. Ohno murmured softly, "Do you think you can make it?"
Matsumoto groaned when the cold towel was taken away. He opened his heavy eyelids and looked beside him to find Ninomiya there instead of Ohno, looking as wasted as he felt. "You're sick," he observed.
"I'm better off than you, my lord," Ninomiya replied.
Silence dropped in between them. They both recalled the dramatic events of yesterday. Matsumoto could barely keep his burning eyes open and focused on his steward, but he attempted to anyway.
For a few seconds, they allowed silence to fester then Ninomiya gave him a lopsided, weak smile.
The forced nature of it struck guilt and misery into Matsumoto. "Nino, don't do that," he said.
Ninomiya turned his gaze down to their hands and he gently wiped Matsumoto's arm with the cool, wet towel. "I am happy because you are happy," he explained. "It's my very first rule. The only one that's been there since the beginning. As long as you are content, I will be fine, my lord."
Matsumoto painfully closed his eyes on the sorrow he saw on his steward's face. Sleep overcame him. He woke again when the car jarred on its path through the forest. He had been laid out in the backseat with his head in Ohno's lap and an ice towel over his forehead.
To give them room, Sakurai sat in the passenger seat next to their driver. Both of them were quietly conversing and did not notice that Matsumoto had woken up.
Ohno, who was attentive to all of his needs, noticed and laid a gentle hand over his warm cheek. "You should have stayed another day to recover," he said. "Sakurai would have let you."
"No, I couldn't stay," Matsumoto murmured, feeling the impossibility of it. He looked above him and out the back window. Orange slivers of sunlight peeked through the gaps in the waving trees. He was sad to see the sun already setting on this melancholic day.
Ohno followed his gaze out the window and peered wistfully at the golden orange of the sky. "Jun, this place cries every time you leave," he said.
Part Two
Pairing: Jun/Ohno, Jun/Sho, Jun/Nino
Rating: PG-15
Summary: The outwardly perfect Matsumoto Jun meets his perfect match, but their story is far from perfect.
Notes: Written for shardaunei at the 2015 arashi-exchange P1 P2
-- August 31st, 199X --
On a late summer night, the young Matsumoto escaped to the beach behind his home. The wane moonlight cast a pure glow over the trees, rocks and stretch of endless sand. In the near darkness, the black waters soared and spilled over the white sand in waves. He trudged up to the edge of the cliff overlooking the waters with a hardcover book and brown paper bag tucked securely under his arm.
Matsumoto made sure he had lost Itou and his nanny before he dropped to his knees at the base of the only tree on the overhanging cliff over the waters. He used the firm edge of the book to dig a hole into the ground in between two particularly gnarly roots. His makeshift tool did not relieve the difficulty of his task and in just a few shovels, the thick cardboard cover contorted, but he did not bemoan the futility of it. Matsumoto persistently burrowed the corner of his book into the ground until the dirt finally gave way and a shallow, ragged crater formed. Into the hole, he placed the bag and buried it. He patted the uncovered soil into place with his small, dirty hands.
At the top of the cliff, Matsumoto thought he would catch sight of any person coming to search for him, but he failed to notice the presence of another boy until the boy was upon him.
The boy appeared from behind, startling Matsumoto completely. He hurriedly jumped back to show he meant no harm when Matsumoto tried to edge past him and run. "I'm sorry. Please stay," he said hopefully.
Against the words of caution his nanny often told him, Matsumoto stayed. A boy his age was a rare sight, especially around here. And because he desired companionship so much, he could not believe that this boy meant him harm as his nanny feared. The boy with fair hair and a friendly, round face was at least a head taller than Matsumoto. Likewise, he was as impeccably dressed. But his starched white shirt and shorts were not smudged with dirt as was Matsumoto's. Belatedly, the young Matsumoto realized he would earn a scolding from his nanny.
The boy who had followed Matsumoto's gaze over his ruined attire quickly said, "I won't tell anyone if you promise to play with me."
Playing with the newcomer seemed like a terrific idea, but Matsumoto remembered that he had to return home. His nanny and Itou, who must be searching for him, would most certainly withhold his free time as punishment for his escapade tonight.
Seeing his crestfallen expression, the boy said, "Please, don't be sad. I'll wait until you can play."
-- Present Day --
It was 13:30, half an hour before he was due to be there.
Matsumoto strolled into the large conference room where the meeting between his directors and those of the affiliated company would convene at two o'clock in the afternoon. He was early, as usual, but a step inside the open double doors, he paused in surprise when his eyes beheld the broad back of a person that had arrived even earlier than him. His secretary who was following close behind ran into him, distanced himself and was profusely murmuring his apologies, but Matsumoto didn’t seem to notice.
From where he stood at the end of the long table, the man turned at their entrance and grinned widely at Matsumoto. He walked around the table and approached Matsumoto with his right hand extended. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. I am Sakurai Sho from Cherry Sky Enterprise," he said in polite tones.
The rate of Matsumoto's heart increased in reaction to everything that was the magnificent man before him. Sakurai was handsome, oozed charisma, had a friendly smile and he also appeared resolute and intelligent. In one glance, Sakurai seemed to be a perfect being. Matsumoto took the latter's offered hand and their heads simultaneously dipped in a bow. "Matsumoto Jun. Chief executive director of M.J. Cooperation," he said.
Sakurai smiled confidently and in that instant, Matsumoto knew with certainty that he wanted this man more than he'd ever wanted anybody else.
--
Eight hours later, Matsumoto pinned Sakurai to the door of a rented suite in a five star hotel. Between breathless kisses and indiscreet gropes, they eventually had each other naked and panting when they reached the soft bed.
Matsumoto pushed Sakurai onto his back and straddled his middle, pressing hot skin together. He paused long enough to splay his hand over Sakurai's smooth, pale chest and quietly admired it as he caressed the beauty of it.
Sakurai caught his breath. "How often do you do this?" he asked.
Too often, Matsumoto thought to himself, but not like this. This was special. Sakurai, bewildering enough, was different. Did head-over-heels adequately describe this feeling of instant, crazy attraction? Sakurai must have felt it too, otherwise, he wouldn't be here.
Matsumoto heard Sakurai's gasp beneath him as his roving fingers touched a taut nipple. He cleared his mind. He did not want to waste time on thinking or talking, wanting them to feel each other with their hands, lips, and heated bodies instead.
Without answering Sakurai's earlier question, he leaned down to capture Sakurai's moan with his lips.
--
Sakurai eased off the double bed and pulled on his haphazardly discarded clothes.
The quiet movements woke Matsumoto from his light nap and he stretched lazily from his side of the bed. He sat up against the soft pillows and watched as Sakurai stuffed his wrinkled shirt into his trousers and buckled his belt. The satisfied smile on Matsumoto's face turned into a frown as his sleepiness dissipated with clarity upon realizing the situation. "Where are you going?" he asked. "We have the whole night."
Sakurai pulled on his shoes and stood dressed and ready. He paused by the doorway. Without turning, he said, "I don't often do this. Perhaps you're used to this. I'm not. I'm sorry." He opened the door and left.
Matsumoto gaped in the silence and sudden bereavement of Sakurai's departure. His head fell against the pillows and in frustration, he bit the knuckle of his right index finger. Somewhere along the way, he had made a mistake, but it wasn't only his mistake. With whatever doubts Sakurai had repressed, he had not said anything. Now he was gone.
--
"Ask him out on a date," Ohno advised him, biting on the end of a pen and sprawled out over a chair in Matsumoto's private office. "It's simple, Jun."
For Matsumoto, it was not quite simple. Obviously, Sakurai had rejected him by walking out of that hotel room. Sakurai had barely explained himself and had not given Matsumoto the opportunity to explain himself either. What more was there to do? The worse of it was that Sakurai worked for a company he was currently under contract with. Usually, he kept business relations strictly business since the consequence was his current problem; awkwardness on both sides.
Ohno, who knew his thoughts in and out, said derisively, "It's too late now. You should have kept your hands off him instead of treating him like one of your regular lays."
Matsumoto leaned back against his chair and closed his eyes. The strain in his shoulders, within his chest and inside his mind was burdensome.
His best friend gave up trying to persuade him and allowed him to drown in dejection for the time being.
Matsumoto forced himself to think about work instead and reached for the mail his secretary had deposited on his desk that afternoon. He shifted listlessly through them until he came to a yellow envelope with the purple stamp of a well-known crest on the back. He sighed as he opened the usual bi-monthly letter he received from Itou, the head butler of the Matsumoto family. Of those at home, only Itou ever dared to write and contact him.
Matsumoto read the contents out loud for Ohno's benefit. His head butler gave him short-hand details on the estate and assured him of the house servant's content despite one mischievous steward. He finished, "We sincerely hope that the young master will grace us with his presence this year." He met Ohno's eyes across the room.
Ohno pursed his lips nonchalantly. "Of course he'll ask, Jun. You haven't been home in two years."
Matsumoto sighed and swiveled his chair back to stare out the line of windows behind him. His office was on the highest floor of the building and towered over the city. He looked out at the miniature people, buildings, and cars below. He thought about Sakurai and his lustful cravings that one night had not extinguished, about his work, and most importantly, about the one person back at the estate he had not seen in the last two years. "A vacation for myself is long overdue," he muttered.
"Jun, you're running away again,” Ohno said. "What about Sakurai?"
"We're business associates," Matsumoto answered. He brushed his indecisions aside and called for his secretary to come into his office.
His secretary burst into his room a minute later, out of breath and horrified. "What's wrong?" the man asked. "Is the coffee too sweet again? I can make you a new cup of coffee if you want. Will you need a new cup of coffee, director? Or did I write the wrong heading in the last email? I'm so sorry! I'll fix it quickly!"
Matsumoto glanced wryly at Ohno across the room who was bowed over with silent laughter. Perhaps it was his fault for being so meticulous and demanding that his employees be the same. But his secretary's sensitivity wasn't his problem. It crossed his mind that he would find no fault in Sakurai's work. Matsumoto once again cleared his head. Why would Sakurai's capabilities matter to him?
To his flustered secretary he said, "Nonsense. I've decided to make a trip to the Matsumoto main house. I'll stay there for an indefinite period of time and will take what work I can with me. You'll send me the rest as it comes along and take care of everything else. Don't contact me on your sudden whims."
Incredulous at his employer's spontaneous vacation, his secretary gaped, swallowed and squeaked, "What about your meetings?"
Matsumoto frowned and leaned forward to press his elbows against his desk. He touched the knuckle of his right index finger to the underside of his bottom lip thoughtfully. "Was there anything important scheduled for this month?"
"A dinner party held by the president of the DASH group, director," his secretary helpfully reminded him.
"Joushima won't miss me," Matsumoto said. "He usually disappears before most of his guests arrive anyway."
After his subdued secretary left the room, Matsumoto turned to see the clear disapproval on Ohno's usually unperturbed expression. He'd known Ohno since they were children and likewise, he could guess his best friend's thoughts. "You're coming with me?" Matsumoto asked him.
Predictably, Ohno pursed his lower lip and turned his head.
--
The morning he was to depart, Matsumoto woke up from a sensual dream and took a half hour long cold shower, reminding himself why he had to leave. Perhaps, meeting Sakurai was more of a curse than anything else.
He carefully packed as much work as he could, gave more orders to his unhappy secretary, locked up his penthouse apartment in the city and left for his family home in the isolated countryside. He spent the short duration in his luxurious jet plane and thereafter the long drive, trying not to contemplate his rushed departure.
The sleek black car that carried him and Ohno from the airport reached the tall iron gates of the Matsumoto property and drove through the subsequent lengthy cobbled driveway. Once they reached the end, the driver parked in the courtyard, directly below the wide staircase leading to the manor that had been in the family for generations. Made from red stone, the mansion stood in the glowing afternoon sun like a spike of hell fire. It had three main floors, discounting the extra floor in the west wing, or the basement where the servants slept, and the sub-basement storage.
Matsumoto did not step out immediately even after his driver opened the door for him. From the backseat, he watched the line of servants awaiting him outside the large front double doors. There were only two dozen of them employed year round even with an absent owner. They stood dressed tidily in their uniforms and wearing warm smiles. It took Matsumoto less than a few seconds to note that the one person who should have come to greet him especially was not present.
At last, he stepped out of the car and onto the stone courtyard. He rescanned the welcoming faces of his butlers, maids, a gardener and cook and resigned to the fact that his steward, Ninomiya, was not among them. He asked as he made his way up the stairs and inside, "Where's Nino?"
Itou, keeping stride beside him, regretfully relayed, "He's locked himself inside his room." Then the head butler sincerely added, "We're glad to have you back, Master Jun. Welcome home."
--
After Matsumoto showered and changed, had a quiet and fulfilling dinner and a glass of red wine in the salon, the knot in his chest loosened. The ordinariness of his surroundings and homecoming relieved his tense body and mind and he understood that despite Ohno's disapproval, coming back had been a leap in the correct direction. Here, Sakurai and his problem were thousands of miles away. At ease, he determined to spend the rest of the night reviewing the work that he should have completed during the time he'd lost traveling.
He went to his study where a familiar voice assaulted his ears as soon as he entered.
From a window seat framed between velvet drapes that touched the carpeted floor, the previously absent Ninomiya sang obnoxiously, "The sky, the earth, the sea-" His small back pressed against the clear glass and his short legs swung restlessly. His high-pitched voice carried across the study as he continued, "The stars, the moon, the sun-"
Matsumoto paused just long enough in the doorway to ascertain that despite the two years he'd been away, his employee had barely changed. His lips were pressed together in a thin line as he refrained from grinning at their standard reunion and took a seat at his elaborate, mahogany desk where Itou had scrupulously deposited his suitcase.
"To heart, to life, to fate," Ninomiya went on in his distracting childish sing-song. His skinny arms circled around himself in an embrace and he squeezed.
Matsumoto's resolve withered and he looked over at Ninomiya, nestled cozily in the window alcove. He asked, "What are you doing, Nino?"
"I'm keeping you company, my lord," Ninomiya said as if it was the most obvious answer. "You rarely come home. It's lonely here. Mr. Itou and I keep this place running smoothly year round just for your sake. I wish you would come back more often. The others don't like to play."
Matsumoto, who knew his steward was not the most desirable playmate, disregarded Ninomiya's plea and said instead, "You did not come out to greet me when I arrived. I thought you'd finally run away from boredom."
Ninomiya sniffed, mildly offended. "Don't bait me, my lord. Despite the difficulties, I'm responsible and reliable. I wouldn't run away from important duties just because I'm bored. Especially not since I've yet to enact my How-To-Worship-Matsumoto-Jun-Plan edition sixteen. Did you like my song, my lord?"
It was yet another version of Ninomiya's bewildering mind games, the sixteenth edition, and Matsumoto had grown tired of it. He turned his attention to the work at hand and commanded, "Get out, Nino. I plan to work and I don't want to be disturbed."
"Will you be staying long? When will you depart again?" Ninomiya asked, hopeful.
Matsumoto kept his focus on the documents he'd pulled out and refused to answer.
Ignored, Ninomiya slid from his seat and stood forlornly. "Where is Satoshi?" he asked. "Is he here?"
Matsumoto graced him with an apathetic reply, "He came with me, but I don't know where he went. Right now he's upset with me and is content to ignore me." He said no more.
Utterly dismissed, Ninomiya watched Matsumoto's bowed head with a mixture of undisguised longing and sorrow before he shuffled from the room.
--
Matsumoto spent hours tirelessly pondering over his work, and only when he was satisfied did he retire in the early morning before dawn.
In his bedroom down the hall in the same wing as his study, he prepared to sleep. He turned off the lamp, pulled the silk comforter around himself, and laid motionlessly in the darkness with his eyes closed. Sakurai loomed into his mind and consequently, the imperfect image of the man imprinted behind his eyes.
In his vulnerable moments before rest, Matsumoto allowed himself to wish he had the courage to not run from commitment. Ohno knew as much.
He asked himself if he really wanted what Ohno thought he should have with Sakurai. His body gave him the answer easily, his lower abdomen straining. It shouldn't just be lust. Matsumoto angrily told himself as he turned on his side and tried to sleep through his treasonous reaction. But it could be more if only he'd allow it to happen.
He heard soft footsteps inside his room and he did not have to open his eyes to know that Ohno had come to bother him.
Ohno easily slipped inside his bed and under the bed sheet. He curled against Matsumoto's back and customarily, Matsumoto did not begrudge him the comforting contact. "Nino is upset with you,"Ohno whispered against the base of his neck.
Matsumoto sighed. "Everyone's upset with me."
Ohno responded slowly, "It's because you don't change."
Matsumoto agreed, but he couldn't let go of his conscious worry.
"Some things can be straightforward. Advance and you can't be lost. Sometimes, it's that simple," Ohno murmured.
Matsumoto turned to face his best friend in the darkness. "I don't comprehend, Satoshi."
Ohno grunted and snuggled closer to his chest. "It's okay, Jun. I spoke to the stars and they told me that they don't cross. You have choices. Just allow yourself to fall."
Matsumoto wished he could follow Ohno's advice, but it went against everything that made him cautious. He extended his arms to pull the smaller body against him. In his embrace, Ohno melded against him and everything was forgotten.
Ohno knew what to do. He reached under the waist-line of Matsumoto's pajamas and briefs.
Matsumoto moaned as his best friend touched him skillfully and deftly, the wonderful nimble hands working him until he spilled over. Once he reached his climax, sleepiness washed over him at last and he quickly cleaned himself, wrapped himself around Ohno's body and fell asleep.
--
He woke up in the early afternoon to bright sunlight filtering through his room, setting rectangular sections of his carpet aglow. He thought Itou must have come in to open the curtains in the morning. The spot beside him was empty and he didn't have to wonder that despite the both of them falling asleep at the same time, Ohno had woken up before him.
Matsumoto stretched lazily and contentedly. He noticed Ninomiya sitting cross legged on the floor at his bedside and jerked in surprise. Unhappy to be so startled, Matsumoto grabbed a pillow and threw it at his steward.
Ninomiya caught the soft pillow easily and grinned as he hugged it to his chest, sitting forward in his eagerness. "That took a while, my lord," he said. "If it took any longer I was going to jump on you. I have important news."
Matsumoto ignored his steward's claim and left his bed. He entered the bathroom adjoined to his bedroom.
Ninomiya followed to just outside the open doorway as Matsumoto began to undress. His eyes greedily moved over the planes and contours of his employer's naked figure, and in the subsequent silence, Matsumoto had to pause and raise a brow at his steward to show some modesty. Two red spots of color dotted Ninomiya's pale cheek, but in contradiction, his lips curled in an unabashed grin.
Matsumoto found his steward's cheeky grin infectious despite his impudence. Trying to cover his answering smile and a resounding thump in his chest, he sternly asked, "What is it, Nino?"
"My lord, you've always been gorgeous," Ninomiya complimented wistfully.
"I never knew," Matsumoto replied wryly, but he heartened at the praise and a thump went off in his chest again.
"But I have to habitually commend my lord on his beauty," Ninomiya said. "It's a rule I carried over from my How-To-Worship-Matsumoto-Jun-Plan edition ten."
"It's your own game, Nino, and you're undermining it by being so open about it," Matsumoto lightly berated him as he stepped into the shower and ran the showerhead. The loud running water made further attempts at a conversation close to impossible. Matsumoto thought his steward would withdraw to the other room and wait for him to be done.
Yet, Ninomiya remained at the doorway and raised his volume to be heard above the shower. "I thought you could need the help, my lord. Mr. panicked-Secretary called this morning to inform you that your latest tease, the industrious Sakurai Sho, learned of your hasty departure yesterday and also your whereabouts. He began his way here late last night, but since he has yet to be seen, your distressed secretary and I concluded that Sakurai is lost."
Matsumoto contemplated the news a few seconds before he understood exactly what had been said. His hand slammed down on the valve and turned the water off. He gaped at Ninomiya and demanded, "Why am I just hearing about this now?"
"I didn't want to disturb your enjoyable sleep," Ninomiya answered smoothly. "And you missed the important part of this news, my lord."
"Sakurai's lost," Matsumoto stated as a matter of fact, the only detail that was important. Anger consumed him. and his farfetched conclusion, never mind the fact that Matsumoto had spoken to no one about Sakurai besides Ohno and that his steward's vast knowledge about the issue was in itself surprising.
Ninomiya shrugged at him and nonchalantly added, "And by the way, I had to babysit Mr. naive-Secretary through the process of sending aid. The helicopters arrived an hour ago and we have been waiting for you to wake up."
--
Matsumoto and Ohno boarded their helicopter a quarter of an hour later. Matsumoto pressed a hand against the window as he leaned in for a closer look at the ground. He muttered from between clenched teeth, "I'm going to strangle Nino when we return."
Ohno watched Ninomiya wave cheerfully from the window of the second helicopter heading in the opposite direction towards the forest. He touched Matsumoto's shoulder lightly. "At least don't kill him because I'll miss him," he said.
Matsumoto threw a dark look at his best friend who was as unperturbed by the dire circumstances as usual. He turned his focus to the beach looming into view. "I didn't think Sakurai could be so reckless," he murmured. His eyes fell on the overhanging cliff and the lone tree that had stood at the top since before he was born.
He used to beg his nanny to take him there, but since the day he'd overheard the lawyers inform Itou about his parents' fatal car accident and he'd run to the cliff to cry, this particular beach had lost its liberating appeal. It brought back childhood memories he didn't want to remember.
Matsumoto's vision had glazed over and he had to blink a few times to clear it when he noticed a speck in the sand. At a closer look, the speck was frantically waving. "That's Sakurai. We found him."
--
Their helicopter landed half a mile away. Matsumoto jumped off and sighted Sakurai wearily running towards them with his arms still swinging above his head. Sakurai's suit jacket had been discarded, darks sweat stains marked his white shirt and his loose tie was askew around his neck. His hair suffered the same sad fate. Exhaustion lined his face, but he did not cease his running and grinned widely, that same grin that had bedazzled Matsumoto at their meeting which was doing the same at that very moment. "I found you!" Sakurai bellowed as he neared them.
Matsumoto, completely enchanted, closed the last distance between them. Against his better judgment, his arms wrapped around the latter.
Sakurai hesitated only for a split moment before returning his embrace.
"Thank goodness you're safe," Matsumoto breathed against his ear. It didn't matter that the last time they'd spoken to each other, Sakurai had been opposite him across a room, speaking coldly and unattached.
"Director Matsumoto, I'm sorry for causing you trouble. I wasn’t thinking clearly," Sakurai started as he pulled back. "It's rude of me to have come all this way without invitation, but your secretary was so panicked when I asked him about you that I became worried."
Matsumoto cleared his throat and distractedly dusted a smudge of dirt from his shirt from where Sakurai's clothes had stained it. "Never mind that. You're already here," he said coolly. He walked back to the helicopter, expecting Sakurai to follow.
Sakurai only understood his intentions once Matsumoto reached the aircraft and turned back to wait for him.
--
They reached the estate in due time and the rest of the search party was called off.
Matsumoto retired to his study while Itou fed Sakurai and ushered him into a warm and soothing bath. His head butler then dropped in on his employer to inform him that Sakurai had been led to a guest room and had promptly fallen asleep.
"Thanks," Matsumoto told him and Itou respectfully bowed out, closing the door behind him. He leaned back against his chair and closed his eyes. "Don't say I told you so," he directed at Ohno who was seated in an armchair around the cold fireplace.
"I thought it'd be cloudy today," Ohno replied in his usual collected way. "I was right. And tomorrow night, it's going to be a thunderstorm."
"This is awful," Matsumoto grumbled. "I'm losing my mind."
"At least you're still beautiful," Ohno lightly told him. "Thus Nino will compliment you."
Ignoring his best friend's nonsense, Matsumoto drew his hands down his face. His vacation had taken a turn for the worse. There were a number of ways to conclude this awkward situation between him and Sakurai. Among them were solutions he wasn't sure he had the guts to undertake. "Is the solution to all of this really that simple?" he directed at his friend.
Ohno turned in the armchair and gave Matsumoto an innocent, sweet smile.
Matsumoto sighed, catching Ohno's eyes and drawing strength from his best friend's natural ease. He leaned forward against his desk and asked quietly, "But will you catch me if I fall?"
"Always," Ohno said with his benevolent smile.
--
For the next day and a half, Matsumoto kept both Sakurai and Ninomiya out of his private quarters by keeping to his wing and forbidding anyone uninvited to intrude. He had his meals brought up to him on a tray while Ohno quietly entertained himself with folding his handkerchiefs into triangular shapes from an armchair, he worked.
On the second night of Sakurai's visit, Matsumoto finally packed away and closed his suitcase.
Ohno perked up from his seat as the lock clicked and sat upright, awaiting Matsumoto's next move.
Matsumoto looked at the designer watch on his wrist. It was a quarter of an hour before dinner would be served, and since he had not directed Itou to bring him a tray, he would be expected downstairs. From Itou's reports, Ninomiya had taken it upon himself to entertain their guest in his absence, as was his duty, and Matsumoto knew they would be joining him for the evening meal.
"Will you be having dinner with us?" Matsumoto asked Ohno.
Ohno smiled serenely and reclined back in his seat. "No, but tell me what you decide," he said.
Matsumoto did not bother to persuade him. Ohno was stubborn about some things, and went down to the main floor.
--
In the salon leading to the dining room, Matsumoto paused as he heard Ninomiya's voice from the adjoining room. He heard Sakurai answer and his steward's responding giggle. His stomach turned and he wondered what had transpired between them in his absence.
When he entered the dining room, Sakurai immediately went rigid and his expression smoothed over, but as Matsumoto should have expected, Ninomiya grinned from his seat and crossed his arms.
"My lord, we've been waiting for you," Ninomiya said, ignoring the awkwardness around them. "If you'd have come any later, Mr. Itou was going to serve us with or without you."
Partially relieved by Ninomiya's usual banter, Matsumoto almost grinned himself, but he kept his expression controlled as he took his seat at the head of the table. "I'm never late. Itou told me dinner would be at six p.m."
Ninomiya said, "You arrived a day late. I was giving Commander Sakurai a tour and history lesson of the gardens."
Matsumoto had an urge to squeeze the breath out of his cheeky steward, but he refrained from doing so. He tried to catch Sakurai's eye, but the latter was attempting to avoid looking at him.
Ninomiya glanced from his cold employer to their uncomfortable guest. He took a much needed deep breath. Suppressing his inner protestations, he pushed back his chair and stood. "It's unbelievable. I left an experiment boiling in my laboratory," he said. "It's a shame, but I'll have to excuse myself and catch my dinner later. Have a goodnight, my lord. Goodnight, Commander Sakurai."
Matsumoto thought it was another lie. And when Ninomiya saluted him and departed, he was certain of it. Sakurai watched the man he'd quickly befriended leave with dismay.
There wasn't much time to regret. The servants came in with their first course and left. The two who were left behind began their meal quietly.
Sakurai started after a difficult swallow, "I intruded into your home without thinking about the consequences. I'm sorry, Director Matsumoto. I would have left yesterday morning, but Nino said he would not forgive me unless I entertained him first. I thought I shouldn't anger your older brother."
Matsumoto thought many things during Sakurai's apology and he had many things to say in return. But he had to correct a misconception first. "Nino isn't my older brother."
Sakurai nodded and furrowed his brows thoughtfully. "I knew he was younger," he said.
Matsumoto deftly cut in, "He's only a childhood friend. I don't have any living close family."
Sakurai's fork hung limply in his hands and his lips parted slightly at his rudeness.
"I was a child when my parents passed away. It's been many years since then," Matsumoto assured him. "Nino was brought here by Itou to be my playmate and companion. Like me, he doesn't have any family." Matsumoto saw Sakurai breathe again and went on, "He stayed even after we grew up. He knows this place inside and out, and I allow him to run the estate in my absence."
"Ah, I see," Sakurai murmured and turned back to his food. Despite having been made a fool of by Ninomiya, Sakurai looked thoughtful. He turned back to Matsumoto without the previous hesitation and asked, "Why does he address you as a lord? I thought it was weird he called you that despite telling me he was your brother."
Matsumoto placed down his fork and rubbed at the corner of his mouth. "I'm not a descendant of some obscure noble, if that's what you're thinking. It’s just Nino isn't conventional, Commander Sakurai."
Sakurai chuckled at the use of his nickname that Nino had devised and it was the first time he'd laughed in Matsumoto's presence since he'd arrived.
Matsumoto basked in the hearty, warm laughter. He beckoned for Sakurai to continue eating and said, "Anyway, you couldn't have left this place on your own. There's only one car and two horses on this estate. You would have gotten lost again. Fortunately, I'm thinking about leaving the day after tomorrow. We'll head back together, if you're willing to accompany me."
Sakurai grinned. "Then I am forgiven for my rude entry into your home?"
Matsumoto wanted to kiss those full lips that had curled up. He remembered Nino's conclusion about why Sakurai had dropped everything and followed him. He thought back to his conversation with Ohno. "As of now," he said in answer to Sakurai's question.
They had yet to settle anything about whatever it was they could have between them, but he thought, perhaps, he had more time to think about it than he initially thought.
--
Ohno was still awake when Matsumoto reached his room. His best friend had taken over his bed and littered it with tissues folded into triangular shapes since he'd finish folding their handkerchiefs yesterday.
Matsumoto sighed and went into his dressing room to undress and pull on his pajamas. When he returned, Ohno had gathered the folded tissues and deposited them on a nightstand where they spilled over onto the floor. He smiled sweetly at Matsumoto as if he could do no wrong and dived into bed ahead of the owner.
Matsumoto climbed into bed on the other side and Ohno moved closer to cuddle against him. "I'm heading back the day after tomorrow," Matsumoto told him, moving one arm so that it fit snugly under Ohno's head as a pillow. "I want you to come, too."
"I'll come," Ohno assured him. "I have nothing to do here. Have you told Nino that you're leaving?"
Matsumoto shifted, uncomfortable about the thought of passing on the news to his steward.
"You have to tell him," Ohno persuaded him. "Remember last time."
"Perhaps," Matsumoto murmured, not wanting to bring up the awful memory. He drew Ohno's small body closer into his arms. He sighed against the top of Ohno's head and into his hair.
"I wish you wouldn't lie to yourself," Ohno said as Matsumoto drifted off to sleep. "When you do, the stars cry."
--
Matsumoto had lunch with Sakurai and wanted to spend more time with him, but he had things to do before he left and Sakurai understandably stood out of his way. He packed his bags and then found Itou to talk about the necessities of the other servants and the household.
In between, Nino crossed their paths and Matsumoto snapped his fingers at his steward to get his attention then wordlessly pointed him towards his study. Ninomiya pulled a face at his employer, but followed his silent orders and stalked to the room as Matsumoto finished his conversation with his head butler.
He joined Ninomiya a few moments later in his study and pulled out a ledger from the bookcase. "I need your head out of the dumps, Nino. We have to talk about business," he said.
Nino sighed, but sat properly in his chair to give Matsumoto his full attention.
They ran over the expenses of keeping the estate running, damages that needed repairs, inconveniences, wages and bonuses, the employees, and much more. By the time they finished and Matsumoto was satisfied with having caught up with things after two years of absence, the sun had already set. He realized they had missed their dinner and belatedly remembered Sakurai who must have eaten alone.
As Matsumoto gathered the documents and spreadsheets they had pulled out and restored the ledger to its place on the bookshelf, he saw his steward sit comfortably back in his chair to wait for him. Matsumoto knew this was the time to tell him the news about his departure. He sat down at his desk and wet his lips. "I will be heading back tomorrow, Nino," he said.
Ninomiya had been sitting lazily in the chair, but at the announcement, he sat upright in a hurry. "You've been here less than a week," he began in protest.
"Sakurai and I have business to attend to back in the city," Matsumoto explained reasonably, yet he saw Ninomiya's devastation and had to turn his eyes down to his hands. He distractedly spun the ring on his left index finger around. "I'm the chief executive director of an enterprise. I cannot be away from work for too long, Nino."
Ninomiya looked wistfully at Matsumoto whose eyes remained downcast. "My lord, when will you come back home? How long will you be away this time? One year? Two years? Five? I...we need you here."
Matsumoto pressed his lips together and steeled himself, repressing the discomfort in his gut. He looked up at Ninomiya with stubbornness. "If you find staying here so tedious, I've always given you the freedom of leaving."
For a moment, Ninomiya looked dumbfounded, then his expression contorted with anger and he stood so abruptly from his chair that the wooden furniture teetered back before righting itself. He stormed from the study.
In the instant silence of his steward's departure, Matsumoto's heart hammered in his chest. He clutched at the low-cut neck of his t-shirt, trying to find a way to control his own anguish, before slamming his hands down on his desk in surrender. "Dammit!" he cursed and stood as abruptly from his chair.
He knew it would become like this, but as always, he couldn't do anything about it.
--
A maid, terrified out of her wits by a furious Matsumoto, quickly pointed to the kitchen's back door when he demanded to know where Ninomiya had gone. She quickly moved out of his way as he went for the exit.
Matsumoto opened to the pitch darkness of night that loomed beyond the white lighted lamps lining the back yard. He hesitated at rushing into the night outside. The scent of rain wafted to him on a whimsical breeze and at closer inspection, he realized that heavy gray clouds obscured the sky, completely shutting out the moon and the stars. Yet, Ninomiya was somewhere out there.
Heaving a breath, Matsumoto dived outside. The kitchen door swung shut behind him and clicked as the automatic lock turned. He stared at the dim narrow sidewalk before him. He'd only taken this route a few of times as a child and only once at night too many years ago. Taking a breath, he started towards the yard.
"Nino!" he called out. A movement far ahead beyond the line of lamps caught his attention. Matsumoto cautiously approached it and squinted to make out a dark form on the bench that led to the flower gardens. "Nino, is that you?" he asked although he recognized the slight form hunched over on the bench.
"I'm not angry, my lord. How can I be angry?" Ninomiya said without much persuasion.
Feeling relief at having found him anyway, Matsumoto advanced and settled on the bench beside him.
In the cover of the darkness, Ninomiya mumbled sadly, "I wish you could stay."
"I can't. You above all should know," Matsumoto replied. "This tantrum of yours is silly. It won't change my decision, Nino." He felt a few drops of rain on his face and knew they should be heading back inside. He opened his mouth to suggest it.
Ninomiya shifted, wrapped a chain to Matsumoto's wrist in several rounds and locked it.
Matsumoto pulled at the metal links, but the other end had been chained to the bench which was hammered into the ground. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"My lord, I'm not angry at you. I'm really not," Ninomiya said unconvincingly. "Perhaps someone will find you before you're supposed to leave tomorrow. Have a good night," He turned on his heels and left.
"Nino, come back here!" Matsumoto tried to run after him, but the chain locked him into place and pulled at him. The metal cut into his wrist and he flinched when it pierced his skin. He kicked his leg futilely. The few drops of rain he'd felt earlier turned into a heavy downpour in a split second and he would've screamed for help if he didn't think it would be pointless.
White lightning sparked the sky and crashing thunder roared overhead. He shivered against the cold and wet rain that pelted down on him. Ninomiya had taken this too far, Matsumoto thought as he succumbed to the ferocious weather.
He sat out in the rain for what seemed like hours and the heavy rain refused to lessen, nor the cries of the sky threatening to break. Exhaustion got the better part of him and he stared lifelessly down at the muddy ground at his feet. The cold set deep into his skin and he hoped he would not catch sickness even as his body began to shake.
The sound of scuffling footsteps over the rain was a relief at last. Matsumoto looked up and shook his head to get the water out of his eyes. He saw standing forlornly before him, as wet to the bone as he, was none other than his steward. The latter watched him as lifelessly as he'd felt a moment ago and the defeat on his face caused Matsumoto's anger and frustration to dissipate.
Slowly, Ninomiya moved forward.
As his steward worked to unlock the chain around his wrist, his head bent intent on his task, Matsumoto shivered again. The fringe of his steward's dark hair was plastered against his forehead and Matsumoto controlled his urge to touch the lanky strands. Their damp clothes clung to the shape of their bodies and he had to turn his eyes away from the fascinating curve of his steward's back.
Ninomiya's skin against his own were as cold as his. Perhaps his steward had been out in the rain as long as he. Perhaps Ninomiya had never left him. Matsumoto moved his tired jaw and murmured, "You took the joke too far, Nino. This silly attempt will never make me stay."
Even in the downpour, Ninomiya did not quicken his pace. His arm brushed lightly against Matsumoto's side as he worked slowly. To his employer, he murmured, "I miss you every time you're out of my sight, my lord."
He sounded so hopeless that even though Matsumoto took it for a scam, his heart slammed painfully against his chest and throat. He had to breathe evenly before he could speak. "This is not the time for your games, Nino," he replied sternly, trying to steer himself towards common sense. The long chain fell with a clang against the bench. Freed at last, he rubbed his aching wrist to distract himself.
Ninomiya laughed hollowly. "Yes, my lord. It was a bad joke." He stepped back and crouched down at Matsumoto's feet, still in no hurry to get out of the rain.
Although he had wished to run inside just moments ago, like his steward, Matsumoto found himself rooted to the spot under the depressing weather. He fruitlessly tried to wipe the water out of his eyes. A different ache had swelled to soreness in his chest. Deep inside himself, he knew there was an answer for both of them, but it was something he had never allowed himself to give in to. He said quietly, watching Ninomiya's hunched form before him, "Nino, it's impossible."
As if that short statement had been what he had been waiting to hear all along, Ninomiya smiled thinly and stood. Misery replaced the vacancy behind his eyes. "Is Satoshi here, my lord?" he asked.
Matsumoto looked past his steward's shoulder and saw his friend standing under the cover of nearby trees. Ohno had been watching them in silence. Since when, he did not know.
Ninomiya saw recognition on his employer's face and knew. He mumbled, "Satoshi will keep you company. I will go back inside first." He wrapped his skinny arms around himself and ran through the rain towards the manor.
Ohno stepped out from his hiding place and approached. He raised his arms above Matsumoto's head to shield his friend from the rain. It was a feeble attempt that did nothing to lessen the rain drops pelting down on Matsumoto, but he still made the effort. He saw the woe that had befallen his best friend and knowing the layers of his friend's heart, he murmured, "It was a mistake by Nino's father. Nino is as much a victim of him as your parents were. You have to stop blaming him, Jun."
Matsumoto ran a hand through his wet, soppy hair and slicked it back. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Even so, it's too late," he said.
Physically freed from the chain had not dissolved the burden inside his chest. He was not ready to head inside. Instead, he curled on the bench with his knees drawn against his bosom. He shivered as lightning seared the sky again, illuminating for a moment the night and the truth he wanted to hide.
Ohno sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around Matsumoto's shaking body. "Jun, I promised I’ll catch you if you fall," he said. "But you're still afraid."
--
Despite a severe headache when he woke in the late afternoon, Matsumoto was determined to be off and a pounding headache was not going to stop him.
Itou brought him a lunch tray since he had noticed that his young master missed dinner. He also wanted to discuss the details of Matsumoto's departure. When he entered his master's bedroom, he saw Matsumoto had washed and dressed, but stood unsteadily on his feet. "Are you unwell, Master Jun?" he asked.
Matsumoto took a seat on the edge of his bed and massaged his heavy head. "I will be fine. Have someone take my bags to the car and ask Sakurai if he's ready to be off. I want to be back by sundown."
"Yes, Master Jun," Itou said and set the tray down, but he stood in place instead of bowing out.
Matsumoto groaned, partly because of his headache and the other because he knew Itou well enough to know that his head butler wished to speak, but feared to offend him. The man had raised him since his parents' accident and was the only one to write to him while he was away. But still, he had reservations about a few things Matsumoto thought mundane. "Speak freely, Itou," Matsumoto said with a tired sigh. "What do you want to say?"
Itou inclined his head in thanks and said, "Master Jun, I knew I could not keep you in my breast pocket forever and befittingly, you have grown up to be an intelligent, sensible man. You take your responsibilities seriously, and I am proud of you."
"But," Matsumoto said for him.
"But," Itou acknowledged, "if you will just drop by every now and then, I will be much happier. Every time you disappear for too long, I fear for both you and Master Kazunari's well-being."
Matsumoto started at the mention of his steward and pressed his fingers harder against his pounding temple. "Is Nino okay?" he asked.
"He doesn't sleep well when you're not here," Itou confessed. "He's afraid to close his eyes."
Matsumoto knew, but he thought Ninomiya had outgrown it in their youths. "How bad is it?" he asked.
Itou was prepared for the answer. "He sleeps one or two hours at most each night," he said and added, "but even less when you're gone."
--
While a butler packed their bags into the car and Sakurai went to thank Itou and the cook for their hospitality, Ohno helped Matsumoto into the backseat of the vehicle. Matsumoto fell against the seat heavily and rested his head against the window. He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the blasted sunlight.
Cool hands and a cold towel were pressed gently against his warm cheeks and forehead. Ohno murmured softly, "Do you think you can make it?"
Matsumoto groaned when the cold towel was taken away. He opened his heavy eyelids and looked beside him to find Ninomiya there instead of Ohno, looking as wasted as he felt. "You're sick," he observed.
"I'm better off than you, my lord," Ninomiya replied.
Silence dropped in between them. They both recalled the dramatic events of yesterday. Matsumoto could barely keep his burning eyes open and focused on his steward, but he attempted to anyway.
For a few seconds, they allowed silence to fester then Ninomiya gave him a lopsided, weak smile.
The forced nature of it struck guilt and misery into Matsumoto. "Nino, don't do that," he said.
Ninomiya turned his gaze down to their hands and he gently wiped Matsumoto's arm with the cool, wet towel. "I am happy because you are happy," he explained. "It's my very first rule. The only one that's been there since the beginning. As long as you are content, I will be fine, my lord."
Matsumoto painfully closed his eyes on the sorrow he saw on his steward's face. Sleep overcame him. He woke again when the car jarred on its path through the forest. He had been laid out in the backseat with his head in Ohno's lap and an ice towel over his forehead.
To give them room, Sakurai sat in the passenger seat next to their driver. Both of them were quietly conversing and did not notice that Matsumoto had woken up.
Ohno, who was attentive to all of his needs, noticed and laid a gentle hand over his warm cheek. "You should have stayed another day to recover," he said. "Sakurai would have let you."
"No, I couldn't stay," Matsumoto murmured, feeling the impossibility of it. He looked above him and out the back window. Orange slivers of sunlight peeked through the gaps in the waving trees. He was sad to see the sun already setting on this melancholic day.
Ohno followed his gaze out the window and peered wistfully at the golden orange of the sky. "Jun, this place cries every time you leave," he said.
Part Two