Memories of the Void
Originally written for the 2016 ninoexchange here.
Title: Memories of The Void
Pairing/Focus: Jun/Nino
Rating: PG-15
Summary: When Ninomiya lost everything, one person gave him a reason to live.
The Watch Zero: Issue VE
Winter 311IV
Table of Contents
I - Rise of a New Era: High Lord Ohno ................................................. pg i
II - The Void & Mental Illnesses ......................................................... pg v
III - The Jewel Assembly: Are They Doing Enough to Protect Us? ....... pg vii
IV - Profile: Yuuji, The Greatest Witch of Our Time ............................ pg x
V - The Tragedy of the Ninomiya Family ............................................ pg xvi
The Tragedy of the Ninomiya Family
A deeper look into the brutal homicide that shocked the country.
On the third night of the first moon-310IV, Lady Ninomiya's private attorney had been abruptly called to the noble estate by Sunset Lake. As he was making his way there, on this particular night he noticed a peculiar silence. From the far distance he saw that the lanterns lining the gates of the perimeters were unusually off. What he could never begin to guess was the terrible truth: in her home Lady Ninomiya and her full staff of servants had been slaughtered. Of that horrifying nightmare, only one witness survived: Ninomiya Kazunari.
From the intensive care unit to the protection of The Academy, between medical doctors and some of the best witches in the country, the examination results have come out: Lord Ninomiya is our latest victim of The Void. Just one of the many unfortunate outcome of that night, the truth of the horror will remain a mystery.
Born in 291IV, the young lord had a grand path set out for him. Although Lady Ninomiya hailed from a traditionally orthodox lineage, her former husband who is currently estranged from the family was rumored to be a formidable witch. The young Lord Ninomiya unsurprisingly inherited his father's strong magical talents. An aspiring musical witch, graduate of The Academy and the sole heir to the Ninomiya title and fortune, young Lord Ninomiya's future had been full of promise indeed...
By Sakurai Sho, Intern
The explosion of raw magic took away all meaning. It was a night that made the heart lurch and the ears deaf. His sight met a bottomless pit that fell endlessly. That was the time he lost his value - when his gift, that once captured the magical melodies of life, went silent. Thus was the aftermath when a force of unleashed raw power crashed against his magic and caused it to rupture. Suddenly gold-colored blood pooled at his feet - that which only him in his mania saw. He drowned in the emptiness of an alternate afterworld of his mind.
At last a voice he might have known reached him - the only voice that transcended into the darkness.
"The broken pieces of yourself, I will take it. If you give me everything left that is yours, in exchange I promise I will find the criminal who did this to you."
Then the darkness and the blood became shadows and when the sliver of sanity came, he found the truth. He had become nothing - a victim consumed by The Void - a broken witch, and it had been a powerful witch who destroyed him - stealing his take of a beautiful world - a murderer he could neither give a face or a name to. Along with the tears of despair was the strong hatred and grief that overwhelmed. He grasped the wrist of the extended hand that offered him an answer.
"Find him," he said. "I can give you everything, but you must find him - and kill him." He had one goal. Through the yellow haze stemming from the depths of the unpredictable alternate realm, at last he sighted the face of his savior: Matsumoto Jun, his former classmate at The Academy, an unfortunate genius - a lowly orphan.
His vast wealth, his honorable namesake, what was left of his future - he gave through matrimony as an offering to search for the resolution he wanted to see. Belatedly he realized, little by little, as wreaths of light broke into his madness every now and then, that the emptiness around him mirrored himself. He was nothing and he had nothing truthfully.
"Lord Ninomiya," wafted into his hearing and he turned from the window to see a clear cut real to life Aiba standing at the entrance to his suite - he remembered that Aiba was Matsumoto's friend and of no relation to himself. The vision became colorless.
"It's Nino," he replied coolly. "Only Nino." The gold band on his finger, one of a pair, seemed to grow hot. He impulsively pulled it off and threw it. He did not see where it landed.
Aiba approached him cautiously. "Lord Ninomiya, are you all right?"
"Don't," he retorted. "I don't need your false concern."
"It's not. You're important," Aiba answered.
He disagreed - because Matsumoto had ambition and would use him wisely. That was all that mattered in their agreement. In Matsumoto's quest for fame and power - in his quest for justice and vengeance - they were wedded and alone.
* *
When he noticed, they stood together under the moonlight - side by side - on the balcony outside his suite. In that instance of stolen clarity, he deftly turned his eyes up to catch the stars. This was no illusion. The stars no longer sang to him as it once did. The pale moon was the crescent shaped smile that laughed at the shattered remnants of himself.
"Am I useful?" he asked.
Matsumoto shook out of troubling thoughts and caught his question. Slowly, taking caution with every word Matsumoto asked, "What do you mean?"
"I did not understand the existence of the those at the bottom. Now I know the feeling of wanting something this much," he said. He observed the stars that shone so coldly in this reality. "Once upon a time, I ignored your determination. Today and moving forward, none of my wishes will come true. Are you happy?"
"Your illness does not make me happy," Matsumoto said and leaned against the balcony ledge, looking down and away from him.
"It's okay," he told Matsumoto, but more so he consoled himself. He drank the bitterness that was a part of him. "Claw your way up, Matsumoto Jun. Make this ugly world cry blood-red tears."
Disturbed by his dark anger, Matsumoto rested eyes on him.
He followed, and his gaze riveted on the young, beautiful face of Matsumoto - a witch with so much promise and a future. The clarity of his vision drowned in tears. Were they his own tears? Hesitantly, he saw Matsumoto sympathetically reach for him with one hand, but it didn't matter. Nothing did.
"This world doesn't sing," he said and the sorrow of the silent music was a burden. Before Matsumoto touched him, the blood pooled at his feet again and darkness swarmed. He returned to an alternate dream of yellow.
Winter 316IV
The Mysteries of The Void: What We Outsiders Don't Know
Madness, that's what we call it. Erratic behaviors, days of silence then all of a sudden a single shred of sanity that reminds us that a beloved is still there. In my journey to find the truth I met many victims of The Void. These people were former witches whose powers shattered from a terrible, traumatic experience, and they lost much more than their natural born gift. I wanted to know their stories...
By Sakurai Sho, Writer
Aiba came and went, yet Matsumoto rarely appeared. In his visions and in reality, it was all the same. After all, he must have adapted to the knowledge and feeling of an unwanted. Aiba was his dutiful eyes - more so Aiba was Matsumoto's loyal friend - that he knew too. If he came to reality he would be seated by the window and Aiba would be watching him hovering just a few steps away.
Aiba might ask him, "Are you hungry?"
"No," he always said.
"Let's go out and take a walk," Aiba suggested and he wouldn't answer.
He was content to sit there. Through the glass, he would see the long driveway that curved away out of sight. Sometimes he realized he watched for a sleek white car to drive up. Then while he waited he finally knew that he was waiting for someone.
"Lord Ninomiya," the person called him and he awoke from nothing to the window like usual. He turned to see the person who had spoken, a someone he should have known - Prime Minister Yuuji - the High Lord's most trusted man and currently one of the most powerful witches in the world.
For no apparent reason, sentimentality caught up to him. Perhaps it was that once upon a time, of his favorite red and blue toys one had been dearly named Yuuji. That was from a life that was lost to him in this present. He did not stand as was proper to greet the honorable guest, but since his fall no one ever faulted him.
"Are you happy?" the Prime Minister asked of him.
His happiness made no difference to anyone but himself. "It doesn't matter. Not to you. I don't know you," he said. In The Void no other human lived. Nothing else mattered but his survival.
Yet the Prime Minister's eyes glimmered - an uncontrollable display of unshed hopelessness.
Though he could not sympathize. He saw, more than the unfathomable sadness in the imperial emissary's face, the tremor of sheathed power rolling off the witch's body. This person so effortlessly carried what he wanted so dearly. The dream of a Witch Musician was lost - he once hoped to enthrall the world. The tale of what could never be couldn't even unfold in the delusions of his mind.
"Why are you here?" he asked the Prime Minister. "Physicians and Witch Doctors are useless against The Void."
The Prime Minister turned from him as if in surrender.
He felt a wave of nostalgia. The powerful witch reminded him of someone. He tried to recall the face of his father, but it was impossible - and he sank into empty dreams again.
* *
The gold-colored sea drowned him. Long before that endless night he had given up swimming to the other side. He focused on staying alive. Yet a voice called and in the world where no one but him lived, somehow a hand reached for him. Suddenly, he didn't want to stop trying. He held on to the hand that tried to save him and was washed ashore. In the plane of his true existence, Matsumoto sat beside him at the window seat as he had been unconsciously looking out into nothingness.
"You are home," he said, his voice soft from disuse. "Why?"
"I am home," Matsumoto repeated and observed quietly, "It means nothing to you."
"Because this life is meaningless," he told the witch and meekly laid his head against the alcove of the window and wall. "You with all your might and glory - you don't understand."
Matsumoto stood abruptly and took two steps back. The absence of the heat left an emptiness that he should have been accustomed to. He turned and saw the shadows on Matsumoto's beautiful face. The unhappiness he sighted there was different and unsettling.
"When I find the man who hurt you, what then? You don't dream for yourself," Matsumoto said. "Your self-pity and bitterness - will you live like that until the very end?"
He wished he had a dream, but in The Void dreams did not happen. In that bottomless well only his pride, his hatred and Matsumoto's ambition kept him afloat - and when and if Matsumoto decided to reach for him, he broke the surface for a moment. Only one moment. The pieces of life that he woke up to still wasn't enough to keep him going. These stolen occasions of sanity - unconnected and uncontrolled, they served him no purpose.
"Kazu," Matsumoto called him.
He paused at the endearing use of his name, uncertain about what that connection meant for them.
Matsumoto pushed through his doubt. "What do I do to see your smile again?" he asked.
Did his happiness matter to Matsumoto? To Aiba? No, he thought. It made no difference to anyone but himself. Once upon a time, the sea didn't drown him. It gave him music. This silence that they could not hear, they also did not understand. "I want to hear the sea sing again," he said wistfully - despairingly. No one could give him that.
Matsumoto watched the velvet rug under their feet. "What can I do?" the witch said unhappily.
Back then Matsumoto's promise gave him a reason. He had believed it so earnestly. He held on to Matsumoto's hand and kept believing. When the vision blurred, he went reluctantly back to the other side.
* *
Alas, his eyes opened to the darkness of his suite. He laid in bed with the blankets pulled up to his chin. A sliver of moonlight beamed through a gap in his window curtains. Of the moments of consciousness, he was most content to be here. The beautiful night soothed him, yet he already felt The Void calling. He wished he could have stayed a while longer.
Aiba sat guarding him by his bedside, fidgeting with a square wooden box.
He heard the sweet tuning of tinker-bells.
"What is that?" he asked through the gold-colored fog that loomed. He tried to listen to the faint, musical sounds. It did not compare to the melodies of the world, but it was beautiful nonetheless. This was music. He fell deeper all the while straining to catch every single echo.
"It is Jun's gift to you," Aiba's murmur seeped through the storm clouds sweeping in. "Goodnight, Lord Nino."
Autumn 318IV
Witch Doctors, Then and Now
Formerly regarded as quacks, Witch Doctors have gained a large following in this era. Leading this movement is none other than the greatest witch of our time, our very own Prime Minister. With his unlimited knowledge and power, he presents an illusion of what our future could be. Witch Doctors are the answer to the problems in our healthcare...
By Sakurai Sho, Senior Writer
He was looking out into the courtyard when he came to. Rain pelted the window. Though it must have been midday, dark clouds turned the outside landscape dull. He stirred and turned to see a familiar sight - Aiba dutifully by his side. He noticed that in his own hands he held the same music box, the wood now worn and its edges smooth from the touch of his fingers. The lid was lifted and the same tune played. Aiba had fixed it for the fifth time. He felt grateful.
"What is your full name?" he asked. Aiba did not comprehend his sudden question and so he had to ask again, "What is your full name, Aiba?"
"Aiba Masaki," Aiba answered.
"Masaki," he pronounced. Finally, he learned it. "Masaki, why are you still here?"
"What do you mean, Lord Nino?" Aiba asked.
"You and I have no connection," he said. "You are not obligated to stay."
"You didn't know me, but I knew you," Aiba explained. "I was also a student at The Academy." Aiba smiled sheepishly and continued, "When High Lord Ohno enforced the Act of Equal Opportunity, Jun and I were picked from the Eastern slums and granted free pass into The Academy, along with other gifted orphans - though my magic was always lacking."
"But I never knew you. Why are you still here?" he asked again.
Aiba smiled widely, despite the fact that they knew his lost future should not have meant Aiba's as well.
"I am happy to be by your side, Lord Nino," Aiba said. "While Jun is gone, I am honored to protect you in his place."
"You are kind," he said. "Neither Jun nor I deserve it."
"That's not true," Aiba denied as was the common way.
He allowed it to pass and returned to stare out the window - at the long driveway that wound around a row of trees and disappeared. He longed to see someone. He asked, "Masaki, who am I waiting for?"
The rain drowned out Aiba's answer that he couldn't hear.
* *
One day a melody took the place of silence, but it did not come from the outside world. The music emanated from his heart and he wrote it down. The trinkets he heard were so beautiful and he tried to capture it in notes. Over and over he tried. The sounds he created from his throat were jumbled and ugly. Yet he couldn't let the music die and he tried harder.
"Masaki, will you listen?" he asked. The music box twinkled in the open and he closed it, but held it against himself gently.
Aiba kindly heard his song and when it ended, he didn't grimace as he should have. He asked, "What is it you're trying to say, Lord Nino?"
The question startled him. "Are these my words?"
"It is the music you created," Aiba said.
"But it is ugly," he said. It neither captivated the soul nor reflected the beauty he wanted to recreate. "The sound of my voice, this melody that I sing - the outcome is desolate."
Oblivion took him and held him multiple for every second that he sang.
* *
When he came to his existence, brown shells of peeled nuts dropped at his feet. The sight was unfamiliar to him. The dirt ground and green grass beneath his feet - and above him the boughs of countless trees - in the distance the Sunset Lake glittered, this was different. He was not inside his home, but Matsumoto was not here either. Neither was Aiba.
"Sorry," the stranger of the peeled nuts said. The stranger was high in the boughs of the neighboring tree, chewing on the nuts that was its natural fruits. "I can't get down and I became hungry. Are these edible?"
In the distance, he heard Aiba call out for him, "Lord Nino!"
"Are you Lord Ninomiya?" the stranger asked and made a move to come down, but one glance at the far ground and the strange man thought better of it.
He wondered how someone so fearful of heights ended up so high. Though, he didn't care to ask. "Where is this place?" he questioned. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath of the scent of nature. The natural sweetness and freshness - he missed it.
"We're on the perimeters of your estate," the stranger answered. "Don't you know? How long have you been locked up?"
He wasn't acquainted with this man, but this man knew him. It didn't settle well with him. "Who are you?" he asked. "Are you a witch?"
The stranger regarded him silently for a moment. "I am orthodox," the man replied finally. "We met before, though you might not remember. It has been years. Even I could barely recall your features."
"I dont care about that," he said.
"I work for The Watch Zero," the stranger said. "My name is Sakurai Sho. Right now I am also studying medicine."
* *
Every now and then the crashing waves of the gold-colored sea ebbed away and allowed him to breathe. At last he tried to fight to shore. Slowly and bit by bit, he closed the distance between him and the bank of golden sand. This was the center of his mania - all around him the darkness pulsated like a throbbing wound.
At last he reached the bank and walked onto the sand, away from the yellow sea. He saw clearly that he wasn't far from the truth at all.
"Kazu, don't leave me," someone said in the dream - the one and only voice that ever found him.
As the darkness cleared, the surface of Sunset Lake glittered like gems beyond Matsumoto's shoulder. Matsumoto hovered centimeters above him, warm breath on his cheek, dark hair lank and clothes dripping with water. He too was sopping wet and when he touched his bruised lips with his fingers he knew he had been saved yet again.
"That scared me. Don't do that anymore," Matsumoto directed.
He pushed Matsumoto off and staggered upright to the side, gasping air into his burning lungs.
"Did you want to die?" Matsumoto demanded, unhappy to have been shoved aside despite having put in the effort to revive him.
"Did I have a choice?" he retorted. He glared at the witch who was so breathtakingly beautiful - the sun set Matsumoto's unique features aglow. It hurt his eyes and pained him - none of this was truly his. He had fought so hard through the yellow sea to come back to having nothing. "Why are you here?"
"Why do you always ask?"Matsumoto returned. "Does it mean so little to you? Do you have to question everything?"
"You always have a reason," he said because he couldn't believe otherwise. "When I am lucid, you will not be here. That's the very essence of what we are. You don't have to come back at all and so you don't."
"What are you angry about?" Matsumoto asked. "State it clearly."
"Our marriage is a lie," he said bluntly. "I am only your tool, as you are mine."
"So we were," Matsumoto replied. "But our present doesn't have to mirror the past."
"Only you believe that," he said.
Matsumoto turned to confront the shimmering lake and stared out into the distance. "I believed it. Not anymore. Some day, I will free you. Before then, I will not come back here again." Matsumoto's words sank into the air and as the resolve strengthened, so too did all expression. "Wait here for Masaki to come get you. I'm going for a swim. I need to cool down." Gathering breath, Matsumoto ran towards the lake and dived in.
Staggered by the response, as the witch disappeared into the lake, he screamed after the running shadow. Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave. In the end he realized his consciousness had cut off before those words were heard - his screams of loneliness had been swallowed by the gold-colored sea. Everywhere Matsumoto had gone.
* *
He stood by the window and when he saw clearly, Aiba stood at his side with gentleness, caring hands and patience. The window of his suite reflected the same picture of a desolute world he frequently came to. He was always waiting.
"Who am I waiting for?" he asked Aiba again. Finally, he caught the reply.
"Jun is away," Aiba said.
That was the answer he knew all along.
Summer 319IV
Matsumoto Jun - A Hero of the People
A genius rose from the ashes and decay of the Eastern slums. From an orphanage to The Jewel Assembly, Matsumoto Jun, newly appointed Witch Major and knighted by High Lord Ohno himself, beat all odds to win the much coveted title belonging to the magical few. The Julies seethe as an "inferior" join their ranks...
By Sakurai Sho, Contributor
He woke up into the night and remembered suddenly: after his graduation from The Academy, his mother had called him home to meet someone - his father. The shock stalled him for mere seconds. He quickly wrote it down in case he forgot - the next time he regained senses surely his mind would wander.
Aiba slept in an armchair by his bedside and he placed the note into his friend's hand gently.
* *
Though the world outside remained silent, the melody inside him grew. In the darkness, the pool of gold-colored blood sang. He used to hate it, but now it entranced him. In this empty alternate universe, perhaps he would find his peace at last.
In waking he closed the music box and wrote his song.
"Masaki, Mr. Sakurai said the Witch Doctors might be able to help me," he told his friend.
"Are you happy?" Aiba asked him.
"Am I happy?" he repeated. He had not heard the question since years ago. He deliberated, "Will they hurt me?"
"I don't mean the Witch Doctors," Aiba clarified. "If you recover, what is the first thing you want to do?"
He thought about Matsumoto - the gold band on his finger reminded him of what they truly couldn't be.
"I am unhappy," he replied belatedly, out of tune of their conversation. Once upon a time Matsumoto asked him what he wanted - then he had wished for the song of the sea - today he wished he could hear the regular drum of Matsumoto's heartbeat - it would have been music to his ears.
The Void beckoned. The song of the gold-colored sea in his mind's universe was so beautiful - he had spent years running away, but that day he dived right in. The cold waters embraced him. He recalled that before this loneliness settled it had been Matsumoto who ran towards a sunset tinged lake and swam away from him - because of him.
* *
The weather changed and countless moons waned, yet he continued to spend that time waiting. The others came and went, but one person was never there. While that person ran, he had nowhere else to go.
Likewise Sakurai came and went, filling the monotony with his reports and bits of knowledge.
"I couldn't just sit back and not do anything anymore," Sakurai chattered away. "I wanted to help victims of The Void though I had to start from the beginning, but it was worth every minute. Our team of Witch Doctors produced a drug that can very much change everything. With the help of Witch Major Matsumoto - once the Bill of Restitution garners a majority of support in the Jewel Assembly and it passes through the High Lord, our research will be properly funded and our drug mass produced. Then Witch Doctors can legally help victims of The Void. We might even find a cure one day."
Hope gave him meaning after all. Perhaps he had never given up hope - as he wallowed in self-pity and bitterness he had never stopped believing in an answer to his grief. Along with the hope came relief - he had lost ten years, but he might still have a future.
Sakurai observed him for a moment then leaned in and pressed soft lips against his.
He closed his eyes and allowed the pressure to settle, but when he blinked at the present the sunlight that washed over Sakurai was so different from the memory of someone glowing in the sun.
"Sorry, I wanted to do that once," Sakurai said, blushing at the act of impudence. "I understand why Witch Major Matsumoto sought for me and was determined to sponsor our research. His reason is right here."
For him came the honesty that this was not the same as that previous instance. His eyes closed again, but the memory of the other was faint to the regret he had just allowed to pass. His eyes ached, caught aflame. The music that had been so lovely screeched and scraped against his ears.
"Lord Ninomiya, did I frighten you?" Sakurai asked, startled by the significant outpouring of his unhappiness.
It was not like that. He was consumed with solitude. "If you meet Jun," he murmured, trying to quell the trembling inside of him, "please pass along a message for me. Please tell him-" Defeat roared and deafened - the yellow fog rose up to claim his sense of self.
* *
When after days and weeks of climbing back out and he reached the plane of physical capacity, the person standing before him was not someone he thought would come again. It had been years since he'd seen the Prime Minister. Once a man who was omnipotent, the Prime Minister had deteriorated to a skeletal shell - the dark blue suit was overlarge for the current fragile frame.
He observed the consequences of the suffering of this man and though he did not know the reason for it, he felt sympathy at last.
"Lord Ninomiya, this will be the last time I visit," the Prime Minister said. "I wish you happiness. Every night for the past years, I prayed for it."
He recognized that this was more than the last time - the Prime Minister seemed to bid farewell to him and much more. He saw in the sunken eyes a reflection of his own emptiness. "Where are you going?" he asked.
"Alas, I am given the freedom to rest," the Prime Minister said. "I can stop dragging this old body around."
Evident exhaustion in the Prime Minister's being caused sorrow to rise in his chest. The presence of this witch made him nostalgic. He recalled in his childhood the deep laughter of a man he once called father. To this man in the present, he voiced his realization, "I knew you before The Void."
Acknowledging it with silence, after a moment the witch said quietly, "Before I go, I left a present. I'm sorry. That is my last gift to you."
Winter 319IV
Upheavals in the Imperial Court
The most controversial bill to pass The Jewel Assembly and be upheld by High Lord Ohno, The Act of Restitution will go into effect starting the second moon of 320IV. An age has come when victims of The Void will no longer be second class citizens, subjugated by former family, friends and colleagues. But perhaps the biggest change of all that no one saw coming was Prime Minister Yuuji's retirement and his subsequent disappearance...
By Sakurai Sho, Contributor
The darkness settled for days, perhaps weeks. Then it receded. When it did, a strange scenario greeted him. He sat in his salon - he had not visited this room since that day. Standing at his elbow was Aiba and on his other side was a female he had not seen before. They both held a tray - one with a needle and syringe, the other with a teapot of medicinal tea. His arm throbbed where it had been bandaged.
Sitting opposite him was seated a different man of slight stature with a sweet, rounded face - dressed in a casual gray suit and bow-tie. He knew this person. In their youths, he had been introduced to this man once. Now they stood at different ends of the spectrum of life and success. He tried to stand to greet the imperial guest, but his body felt heavy and his limbs refused to obey.
High Lord Ohno gestured loosely for him to not try. "Mr. Aiba t-told me you have never been s-s-sedated before," the High Lord mumbled with his infamous stutter. "How l-lucky - to be tucked away on your estate with a kind caretaker."
"I know that," he said crudely, dropping previous efforts of etiquette and any formal reference to their titles. His voice, unused, came out hoarse and low - undermining his frustration at being subdued in his own home. "There was no point of leaving here, not when under law we must be tranquilized when we are out among others. But that's not all that you did today. What else was forced into me?"
The High Lord pursed the bottom lip and squinted at documents on the table. "A-a drug the Witch Doctors invented - c-currently awaiting authorization for use - v-very effective. But too much and too often can be lethal."
"But what does it do?" he asked.
The High Lord scanned the papers and read with deliberation, "T-temporary lucidity. It eats any w-wild magic that escapes the source of containment."
He frowned at the High Lord. The most important aspect he gathered in that context was that he apparently still had magic.
"This was explained to me t-t-thoroughly," the High Lord went on with a disturbed expression and tried to recall an earlier conversation. "I'm o-orthodox. This stuff confuses me."
In the place of their sovereign, the only woman among them explained, "Lord Ninomiya, you must have wondered about the true nature of The Void before. It is not common knowledge, yet simply obvious as it is an illness that only affect witches. All witches, as my lord knows, have a natural barrier that keep their magic in check. When that natural barrier breaks, a witch's own magic will overwhelm him - it goes rogue, disrupts his mind and consumes him slowly. That is what we call The Void - and why victims of The Void are so dangerous to themselves and everyone around them."
He closed his eyes to shut them out and in the quiet solitude of his mind he considered the truth. The yellow fog, the gold-colored blood and shining sea that drowned him - it also sang to him. At once it had destroyed and embraced him. A part of himself had known all along, yet that knowledge had never made it into full realization. Eyes fluttering open, he set his gaze on the woman who he guessed to be a Witch Doctor - possibly even a part of Sakurai's team. "What is it that you want?"
The woman glanced at the High Lord and then Aiba. Cautiously, the Witch Doctor said, "We cannot promise full recovery, but a process for treatment has been in development and tested. The decade long research and study that went into this project was headed by the former Prime Minister. It was his last wish that you undergo this treatment, my lord."
The news was cause for celebration, but he observed the murky expression on all three of their faces and knew they held back vital information. "What aren't you telling me?" he asked.
Then he questioned the reason as to why the sovereign would grace his home - after all, in the years since his fall no one from the imperial court ever considered him - as if he was merely the prodigious Matsumoto's imagination. Ill forboding picked at him. In the pit of his stomach, he felt great uneasiness. "Where is the Prime Minister?" he asked warily. "Where is Jun?"
At his side, Aiba spoke at last, voice cracked from contained emotion, "Lord Nino, I passed your note to Jun. You can piece the puzzle together, can't you? You're smart and lucid enough to do it. The person who hurt you - that knowledge was inside you all along."
He tried to recall the many hundreds of nights that had been short-lived - the bits and pieces of his sanity he painstakingly connected together. When he came to a conclusion, the answer was distressing. In his madness - in his bitterness - he had allowed the truth to be hidden from himself. From his dismay, the yellow sea inside him threatened to break its confines. It roared - seeking to overpower. He hopelessly tried to quell the wild magic.
To the world, Prime Minister Yuuji had merely disappeared. "Where is my father?" he asked.
The High Lord spoke solemnly and with the conviction of justice,"He was m-m-my subject and my direct subordinate. It was m-my duty and I dealt the final blow. That is all you need to know."
In the open present, he closed his eyes against the wave of nausea that seared and threatened to spill. "Where is Jun?" he repeated - but he came to an answer even without hearing the response. He had been a curse to the person that had meant everything in his afterword. In the end, it cost him dearly.
He gave up holding onto the dregs of lucidity - the sorrowful golden beast in his chest overwhelmed the effects of the drug. It turned his pain into madness. What once had been a powerful gift claimed his mind again and consumed him.
Before he descended, he noticed his friend stood between him and their guests. Aiba invoked a green barrier between them - a Witch Soldier, trained in defense - he finally knew of it and understood why Aiba had been able to stay by his side - and he was glad of it. Another person he cared for would never be hurt because of him - that was all he should have ever wished for.
* *
In the yellow world, he was fully conscious. The music it played was both beautiful and ugly. He hated it and loved it - for it was a part of him. In this world where he had found his sanctuary, his shattered magic embraced him and told him a children's story with his favorite toys. The puppet show commenced: Once upon a time, Yuuji met Taka and fell in love. They married and lived happily ever after.
But what happened after happily ever after?
The yellow sea answered.
In ever after, Yuuji became a hero - his son's hero. Yuuji wanted to make his family proud so he embarked on an adventure. This adventure was long - very long. When he finally returned home from his very long journey, Yuuji realized he had committed a grave mistake. He had been away for far too long. Taka no longer loved him and his son no longer knew him. Yuuji was powerful and he had a terrible power. Too powerful, it consumed him. When he learned of the truth and became distraught, his power unleashed and controlled him. It ate him and his family whole. Nothing remained of what had once been. The end.
But that's not happily ever after.
But it is, the yellow sea argued, For the family had been separated for a very, very long time and in the end they were all together.
Yet in this universe, he was alone and here he had to stay until the end.
"Come back to me," a voice he had always waited for called him.
He stood on the yellow beach and looked around him searching for the source. This voice could only be in his dream because in existence he had destroyed it.
"That's not true, Kazu. I was deeply hurt, but now I am alive and recovered," Matsumoto said.
"You left me," he cried.
"Because I couldn't make you happy. And when I returned, you were no longer waiting for me," Matsumoto spoke from behind him.
"It's not true," he said. "I am waiting right here." He turned and squinted in the bright yellow sun. On the sandy beach, Matsumoto had returned to him. Matsumoto had embarked on a very, very long journey, but in that time his feelings had not changed. The sand, the sea and the sky sang for him - a most beautiful song. At last he burst into a smile.
Matsumoto mirrored it and closed the distance between them. "I'm glad I finally found you. I was afraid that I had lost you."
He felt the almost solid form of Matsumoto against him. The Witch Major's racing heartbeat against his skin was the drum of a special melody. Although it had taken years, he figured the secret to this solidarity. A Witch Dreamwalker - Matsumoto had one of the rarest talents in the world, and now it made sense from the beginning - but that didn't make traversing the dangerous darkness any easier. He was proud and thankful - through terrifying rogue magic, Matsumoto had transcended the alternate to reach him again.
"I cannot pull you out of The Void," Matsumoto said. "Will you come out, Kazu? Will you go through with the treatment, even though it might take years and may not be full recovery?"
He might never hear the music of the stars again, but it didn't matter anymore. "I wrote a song," he said. "When I wake up, will you listen?"
Mastumoto's smile was a promise - then the Witch Dreamwalker turned into dust.
The ashes piled in his hands and slipped through his fingers - and though the dust dispersed it revealed the gold band remaining on his hand.
He turned to bid the sea farewell.
Alas, he gathered his mind and started on the journey out of the yellow world.
Spring 324IV
Beyond The Void
In pieces, I lived...
By Ninomiya Kazunari, Contributor
Title: Memories of The Void
Pairing/Focus: Jun/Nino
Rating: PG-15
Summary: When Ninomiya lost everything, one person gave him a reason to live.
The Watch Zero: Issue VE
Winter 311IV
Table of Contents
I - Rise of a New Era: High Lord Ohno ................................................. pg i
II - The Void & Mental Illnesses ......................................................... pg v
III - The Jewel Assembly: Are They Doing Enough to Protect Us? ....... pg vii
IV - Profile: Yuuji, The Greatest Witch of Our Time ............................ pg x
V - The Tragedy of the Ninomiya Family ............................................ pg xvi
The Tragedy of the Ninomiya Family
A deeper look into the brutal homicide that shocked the country.
On the third night of the first moon-310IV, Lady Ninomiya's private attorney had been abruptly called to the noble estate by Sunset Lake. As he was making his way there, on this particular night he noticed a peculiar silence. From the far distance he saw that the lanterns lining the gates of the perimeters were unusually off. What he could never begin to guess was the terrible truth: in her home Lady Ninomiya and her full staff of servants had been slaughtered. Of that horrifying nightmare, only one witness survived: Ninomiya Kazunari.
From the intensive care unit to the protection of The Academy, between medical doctors and some of the best witches in the country, the examination results have come out: Lord Ninomiya is our latest victim of The Void. Just one of the many unfortunate outcome of that night, the truth of the horror will remain a mystery.
Born in 291IV, the young lord had a grand path set out for him. Although Lady Ninomiya hailed from a traditionally orthodox lineage, her former husband who is currently estranged from the family was rumored to be a formidable witch. The young Lord Ninomiya unsurprisingly inherited his father's strong magical talents. An aspiring musical witch, graduate of The Academy and the sole heir to the Ninomiya title and fortune, young Lord Ninomiya's future had been full of promise indeed...
By Sakurai Sho, Intern
The explosion of raw magic took away all meaning. It was a night that made the heart lurch and the ears deaf. His sight met a bottomless pit that fell endlessly. That was the time he lost his value - when his gift, that once captured the magical melodies of life, went silent. Thus was the aftermath when a force of unleashed raw power crashed against his magic and caused it to rupture. Suddenly gold-colored blood pooled at his feet - that which only him in his mania saw. He drowned in the emptiness of an alternate afterworld of his mind.
At last a voice he might have known reached him - the only voice that transcended into the darkness.
"The broken pieces of yourself, I will take it. If you give me everything left that is yours, in exchange I promise I will find the criminal who did this to you."
Then the darkness and the blood became shadows and when the sliver of sanity came, he found the truth. He had become nothing - a victim consumed by The Void - a broken witch, and it had been a powerful witch who destroyed him - stealing his take of a beautiful world - a murderer he could neither give a face or a name to. Along with the tears of despair was the strong hatred and grief that overwhelmed. He grasped the wrist of the extended hand that offered him an answer.
"Find him," he said. "I can give you everything, but you must find him - and kill him." He had one goal. Through the yellow haze stemming from the depths of the unpredictable alternate realm, at last he sighted the face of his savior: Matsumoto Jun, his former classmate at The Academy, an unfortunate genius - a lowly orphan.
His vast wealth, his honorable namesake, what was left of his future - he gave through matrimony as an offering to search for the resolution he wanted to see. Belatedly he realized, little by little, as wreaths of light broke into his madness every now and then, that the emptiness around him mirrored himself. He was nothing and he had nothing truthfully.
"Lord Ninomiya," wafted into his hearing and he turned from the window to see a clear cut real to life Aiba standing at the entrance to his suite - he remembered that Aiba was Matsumoto's friend and of no relation to himself. The vision became colorless.
"It's Nino," he replied coolly. "Only Nino." The gold band on his finger, one of a pair, seemed to grow hot. He impulsively pulled it off and threw it. He did not see where it landed.
Aiba approached him cautiously. "Lord Ninomiya, are you all right?"
"Don't," he retorted. "I don't need your false concern."
"It's not. You're important," Aiba answered.
He disagreed - because Matsumoto had ambition and would use him wisely. That was all that mattered in their agreement. In Matsumoto's quest for fame and power - in his quest for justice and vengeance - they were wedded and alone.
* *
When he noticed, they stood together under the moonlight - side by side - on the balcony outside his suite. In that instance of stolen clarity, he deftly turned his eyes up to catch the stars. This was no illusion. The stars no longer sang to him as it once did. The pale moon was the crescent shaped smile that laughed at the shattered remnants of himself.
"Am I useful?" he asked.
Matsumoto shook out of troubling thoughts and caught his question. Slowly, taking caution with every word Matsumoto asked, "What do you mean?"
"I did not understand the existence of the those at the bottom. Now I know the feeling of wanting something this much," he said. He observed the stars that shone so coldly in this reality. "Once upon a time, I ignored your determination. Today and moving forward, none of my wishes will come true. Are you happy?"
"Your illness does not make me happy," Matsumoto said and leaned against the balcony ledge, looking down and away from him.
"It's okay," he told Matsumoto, but more so he consoled himself. He drank the bitterness that was a part of him. "Claw your way up, Matsumoto Jun. Make this ugly world cry blood-red tears."
Disturbed by his dark anger, Matsumoto rested eyes on him.
He followed, and his gaze riveted on the young, beautiful face of Matsumoto - a witch with so much promise and a future. The clarity of his vision drowned in tears. Were they his own tears? Hesitantly, he saw Matsumoto sympathetically reach for him with one hand, but it didn't matter. Nothing did.
"This world doesn't sing," he said and the sorrow of the silent music was a burden. Before Matsumoto touched him, the blood pooled at his feet again and darkness swarmed. He returned to an alternate dream of yellow.
Winter 316IV
The Mysteries of The Void: What We Outsiders Don't Know
Madness, that's what we call it. Erratic behaviors, days of silence then all of a sudden a single shred of sanity that reminds us that a beloved is still there. In my journey to find the truth I met many victims of The Void. These people were former witches whose powers shattered from a terrible, traumatic experience, and they lost much more than their natural born gift. I wanted to know their stories...
By Sakurai Sho, Writer
Aiba came and went, yet Matsumoto rarely appeared. In his visions and in reality, it was all the same. After all, he must have adapted to the knowledge and feeling of an unwanted. Aiba was his dutiful eyes - more so Aiba was Matsumoto's loyal friend - that he knew too. If he came to reality he would be seated by the window and Aiba would be watching him hovering just a few steps away.
Aiba might ask him, "Are you hungry?"
"No," he always said.
"Let's go out and take a walk," Aiba suggested and he wouldn't answer.
He was content to sit there. Through the glass, he would see the long driveway that curved away out of sight. Sometimes he realized he watched for a sleek white car to drive up. Then while he waited he finally knew that he was waiting for someone.
"Lord Ninomiya," the person called him and he awoke from nothing to the window like usual. He turned to see the person who had spoken, a someone he should have known - Prime Minister Yuuji - the High Lord's most trusted man and currently one of the most powerful witches in the world.
For no apparent reason, sentimentality caught up to him. Perhaps it was that once upon a time, of his favorite red and blue toys one had been dearly named Yuuji. That was from a life that was lost to him in this present. He did not stand as was proper to greet the honorable guest, but since his fall no one ever faulted him.
"Are you happy?" the Prime Minister asked of him.
His happiness made no difference to anyone but himself. "It doesn't matter. Not to you. I don't know you," he said. In The Void no other human lived. Nothing else mattered but his survival.
Yet the Prime Minister's eyes glimmered - an uncontrollable display of unshed hopelessness.
Though he could not sympathize. He saw, more than the unfathomable sadness in the imperial emissary's face, the tremor of sheathed power rolling off the witch's body. This person so effortlessly carried what he wanted so dearly. The dream of a Witch Musician was lost - he once hoped to enthrall the world. The tale of what could never be couldn't even unfold in the delusions of his mind.
"Why are you here?" he asked the Prime Minister. "Physicians and Witch Doctors are useless against The Void."
The Prime Minister turned from him as if in surrender.
He felt a wave of nostalgia. The powerful witch reminded him of someone. He tried to recall the face of his father, but it was impossible - and he sank into empty dreams again.
* *
The gold-colored sea drowned him. Long before that endless night he had given up swimming to the other side. He focused on staying alive. Yet a voice called and in the world where no one but him lived, somehow a hand reached for him. Suddenly, he didn't want to stop trying. He held on to the hand that tried to save him and was washed ashore. In the plane of his true existence, Matsumoto sat beside him at the window seat as he had been unconsciously looking out into nothingness.
"You are home," he said, his voice soft from disuse. "Why?"
"I am home," Matsumoto repeated and observed quietly, "It means nothing to you."
"Because this life is meaningless," he told the witch and meekly laid his head against the alcove of the window and wall. "You with all your might and glory - you don't understand."
Matsumoto stood abruptly and took two steps back. The absence of the heat left an emptiness that he should have been accustomed to. He turned and saw the shadows on Matsumoto's beautiful face. The unhappiness he sighted there was different and unsettling.
"When I find the man who hurt you, what then? You don't dream for yourself," Matsumoto said. "Your self-pity and bitterness - will you live like that until the very end?"
He wished he had a dream, but in The Void dreams did not happen. In that bottomless well only his pride, his hatred and Matsumoto's ambition kept him afloat - and when and if Matsumoto decided to reach for him, he broke the surface for a moment. Only one moment. The pieces of life that he woke up to still wasn't enough to keep him going. These stolen occasions of sanity - unconnected and uncontrolled, they served him no purpose.
"Kazu," Matsumoto called him.
He paused at the endearing use of his name, uncertain about what that connection meant for them.
Matsumoto pushed through his doubt. "What do I do to see your smile again?" he asked.
Did his happiness matter to Matsumoto? To Aiba? No, he thought. It made no difference to anyone but himself. Once upon a time, the sea didn't drown him. It gave him music. This silence that they could not hear, they also did not understand. "I want to hear the sea sing again," he said wistfully - despairingly. No one could give him that.
Matsumoto watched the velvet rug under their feet. "What can I do?" the witch said unhappily.
Back then Matsumoto's promise gave him a reason. He had believed it so earnestly. He held on to Matsumoto's hand and kept believing. When the vision blurred, he went reluctantly back to the other side.
* *
Alas, his eyes opened to the darkness of his suite. He laid in bed with the blankets pulled up to his chin. A sliver of moonlight beamed through a gap in his window curtains. Of the moments of consciousness, he was most content to be here. The beautiful night soothed him, yet he already felt The Void calling. He wished he could have stayed a while longer.
Aiba sat guarding him by his bedside, fidgeting with a square wooden box.
He heard the sweet tuning of tinker-bells.
"What is that?" he asked through the gold-colored fog that loomed. He tried to listen to the faint, musical sounds. It did not compare to the melodies of the world, but it was beautiful nonetheless. This was music. He fell deeper all the while straining to catch every single echo.
"It is Jun's gift to you," Aiba's murmur seeped through the storm clouds sweeping in. "Goodnight, Lord Nino."
Autumn 318IV
Witch Doctors, Then and Now
Formerly regarded as quacks, Witch Doctors have gained a large following in this era. Leading this movement is none other than the greatest witch of our time, our very own Prime Minister. With his unlimited knowledge and power, he presents an illusion of what our future could be. Witch Doctors are the answer to the problems in our healthcare...
By Sakurai Sho, Senior Writer
He was looking out into the courtyard when he came to. Rain pelted the window. Though it must have been midday, dark clouds turned the outside landscape dull. He stirred and turned to see a familiar sight - Aiba dutifully by his side. He noticed that in his own hands he held the same music box, the wood now worn and its edges smooth from the touch of his fingers. The lid was lifted and the same tune played. Aiba had fixed it for the fifth time. He felt grateful.
"What is your full name?" he asked. Aiba did not comprehend his sudden question and so he had to ask again, "What is your full name, Aiba?"
"Aiba Masaki," Aiba answered.
"Masaki," he pronounced. Finally, he learned it. "Masaki, why are you still here?"
"What do you mean, Lord Nino?" Aiba asked.
"You and I have no connection," he said. "You are not obligated to stay."
"You didn't know me, but I knew you," Aiba explained. "I was also a student at The Academy." Aiba smiled sheepishly and continued, "When High Lord Ohno enforced the Act of Equal Opportunity, Jun and I were picked from the Eastern slums and granted free pass into The Academy, along with other gifted orphans - though my magic was always lacking."
"But I never knew you. Why are you still here?" he asked again.
Aiba smiled widely, despite the fact that they knew his lost future should not have meant Aiba's as well.
"I am happy to be by your side, Lord Nino," Aiba said. "While Jun is gone, I am honored to protect you in his place."
"You are kind," he said. "Neither Jun nor I deserve it."
"That's not true," Aiba denied as was the common way.
He allowed it to pass and returned to stare out the window - at the long driveway that wound around a row of trees and disappeared. He longed to see someone. He asked, "Masaki, who am I waiting for?"
The rain drowned out Aiba's answer that he couldn't hear.
* *
One day a melody took the place of silence, but it did not come from the outside world. The music emanated from his heart and he wrote it down. The trinkets he heard were so beautiful and he tried to capture it in notes. Over and over he tried. The sounds he created from his throat were jumbled and ugly. Yet he couldn't let the music die and he tried harder.
"Masaki, will you listen?" he asked. The music box twinkled in the open and he closed it, but held it against himself gently.
Aiba kindly heard his song and when it ended, he didn't grimace as he should have. He asked, "What is it you're trying to say, Lord Nino?"
The question startled him. "Are these my words?"
"It is the music you created," Aiba said.
"But it is ugly," he said. It neither captivated the soul nor reflected the beauty he wanted to recreate. "The sound of my voice, this melody that I sing - the outcome is desolate."
Oblivion took him and held him multiple for every second that he sang.
* *
When he came to his existence, brown shells of peeled nuts dropped at his feet. The sight was unfamiliar to him. The dirt ground and green grass beneath his feet - and above him the boughs of countless trees - in the distance the Sunset Lake glittered, this was different. He was not inside his home, but Matsumoto was not here either. Neither was Aiba.
"Sorry," the stranger of the peeled nuts said. The stranger was high in the boughs of the neighboring tree, chewing on the nuts that was its natural fruits. "I can't get down and I became hungry. Are these edible?"
In the distance, he heard Aiba call out for him, "Lord Nino!"
"Are you Lord Ninomiya?" the stranger asked and made a move to come down, but one glance at the far ground and the strange man thought better of it.
He wondered how someone so fearful of heights ended up so high. Though, he didn't care to ask. "Where is this place?" he questioned. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath of the scent of nature. The natural sweetness and freshness - he missed it.
"We're on the perimeters of your estate," the stranger answered. "Don't you know? How long have you been locked up?"
He wasn't acquainted with this man, but this man knew him. It didn't settle well with him. "Who are you?" he asked. "Are you a witch?"
The stranger regarded him silently for a moment. "I am orthodox," the man replied finally. "We met before, though you might not remember. It has been years. Even I could barely recall your features."
"I dont care about that," he said.
"I work for The Watch Zero," the stranger said. "My name is Sakurai Sho. Right now I am also studying medicine."
* *
Every now and then the crashing waves of the gold-colored sea ebbed away and allowed him to breathe. At last he tried to fight to shore. Slowly and bit by bit, he closed the distance between him and the bank of golden sand. This was the center of his mania - all around him the darkness pulsated like a throbbing wound.
At last he reached the bank and walked onto the sand, away from the yellow sea. He saw clearly that he wasn't far from the truth at all.
"Kazu, don't leave me," someone said in the dream - the one and only voice that ever found him.
As the darkness cleared, the surface of Sunset Lake glittered like gems beyond Matsumoto's shoulder. Matsumoto hovered centimeters above him, warm breath on his cheek, dark hair lank and clothes dripping with water. He too was sopping wet and when he touched his bruised lips with his fingers he knew he had been saved yet again.
"That scared me. Don't do that anymore," Matsumoto directed.
He pushed Matsumoto off and staggered upright to the side, gasping air into his burning lungs.
"Did you want to die?" Matsumoto demanded, unhappy to have been shoved aside despite having put in the effort to revive him.
"Did I have a choice?" he retorted. He glared at the witch who was so breathtakingly beautiful - the sun set Matsumoto's unique features aglow. It hurt his eyes and pained him - none of this was truly his. He had fought so hard through the yellow sea to come back to having nothing. "Why are you here?"
"Why do you always ask?"Matsumoto returned. "Does it mean so little to you? Do you have to question everything?"
"You always have a reason," he said because he couldn't believe otherwise. "When I am lucid, you will not be here. That's the very essence of what we are. You don't have to come back at all and so you don't."
"What are you angry about?" Matsumoto asked. "State it clearly."
"Our marriage is a lie," he said bluntly. "I am only your tool, as you are mine."
"So we were," Matsumoto replied. "But our present doesn't have to mirror the past."
"Only you believe that," he said.
Matsumoto turned to confront the shimmering lake and stared out into the distance. "I believed it. Not anymore. Some day, I will free you. Before then, I will not come back here again." Matsumoto's words sank into the air and as the resolve strengthened, so too did all expression. "Wait here for Masaki to come get you. I'm going for a swim. I need to cool down." Gathering breath, Matsumoto ran towards the lake and dived in.
Staggered by the response, as the witch disappeared into the lake, he screamed after the running shadow. Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave. In the end he realized his consciousness had cut off before those words were heard - his screams of loneliness had been swallowed by the gold-colored sea. Everywhere Matsumoto had gone.
* *
He stood by the window and when he saw clearly, Aiba stood at his side with gentleness, caring hands and patience. The window of his suite reflected the same picture of a desolute world he frequently came to. He was always waiting.
"Who am I waiting for?" he asked Aiba again. Finally, he caught the reply.
"Jun is away," Aiba said.
That was the answer he knew all along.
Summer 319IV
Matsumoto Jun - A Hero of the People
A genius rose from the ashes and decay of the Eastern slums. From an orphanage to The Jewel Assembly, Matsumoto Jun, newly appointed Witch Major and knighted by High Lord Ohno himself, beat all odds to win the much coveted title belonging to the magical few. The Julies seethe as an "inferior" join their ranks...
By Sakurai Sho, Contributor
He woke up into the night and remembered suddenly: after his graduation from The Academy, his mother had called him home to meet someone - his father. The shock stalled him for mere seconds. He quickly wrote it down in case he forgot - the next time he regained senses surely his mind would wander.
Aiba slept in an armchair by his bedside and he placed the note into his friend's hand gently.
* *
Though the world outside remained silent, the melody inside him grew. In the darkness, the pool of gold-colored blood sang. He used to hate it, but now it entranced him. In this empty alternate universe, perhaps he would find his peace at last.
In waking he closed the music box and wrote his song.
"Masaki, Mr. Sakurai said the Witch Doctors might be able to help me," he told his friend.
"Are you happy?" Aiba asked him.
"Am I happy?" he repeated. He had not heard the question since years ago. He deliberated, "Will they hurt me?"
"I don't mean the Witch Doctors," Aiba clarified. "If you recover, what is the first thing you want to do?"
He thought about Matsumoto - the gold band on his finger reminded him of what they truly couldn't be.
"I am unhappy," he replied belatedly, out of tune of their conversation. Once upon a time Matsumoto asked him what he wanted - then he had wished for the song of the sea - today he wished he could hear the regular drum of Matsumoto's heartbeat - it would have been music to his ears.
The Void beckoned. The song of the gold-colored sea in his mind's universe was so beautiful - he had spent years running away, but that day he dived right in. The cold waters embraced him. He recalled that before this loneliness settled it had been Matsumoto who ran towards a sunset tinged lake and swam away from him - because of him.
* *
The weather changed and countless moons waned, yet he continued to spend that time waiting. The others came and went, but one person was never there. While that person ran, he had nowhere else to go.
Likewise Sakurai came and went, filling the monotony with his reports and bits of knowledge.
"I couldn't just sit back and not do anything anymore," Sakurai chattered away. "I wanted to help victims of The Void though I had to start from the beginning, but it was worth every minute. Our team of Witch Doctors produced a drug that can very much change everything. With the help of Witch Major Matsumoto - once the Bill of Restitution garners a majority of support in the Jewel Assembly and it passes through the High Lord, our research will be properly funded and our drug mass produced. Then Witch Doctors can legally help victims of The Void. We might even find a cure one day."
Hope gave him meaning after all. Perhaps he had never given up hope - as he wallowed in self-pity and bitterness he had never stopped believing in an answer to his grief. Along with the hope came relief - he had lost ten years, but he might still have a future.
Sakurai observed him for a moment then leaned in and pressed soft lips against his.
He closed his eyes and allowed the pressure to settle, but when he blinked at the present the sunlight that washed over Sakurai was so different from the memory of someone glowing in the sun.
"Sorry, I wanted to do that once," Sakurai said, blushing at the act of impudence. "I understand why Witch Major Matsumoto sought for me and was determined to sponsor our research. His reason is right here."
For him came the honesty that this was not the same as that previous instance. His eyes closed again, but the memory of the other was faint to the regret he had just allowed to pass. His eyes ached, caught aflame. The music that had been so lovely screeched and scraped against his ears.
"Lord Ninomiya, did I frighten you?" Sakurai asked, startled by the significant outpouring of his unhappiness.
It was not like that. He was consumed with solitude. "If you meet Jun," he murmured, trying to quell the trembling inside of him, "please pass along a message for me. Please tell him-" Defeat roared and deafened - the yellow fog rose up to claim his sense of self.
* *
When after days and weeks of climbing back out and he reached the plane of physical capacity, the person standing before him was not someone he thought would come again. It had been years since he'd seen the Prime Minister. Once a man who was omnipotent, the Prime Minister had deteriorated to a skeletal shell - the dark blue suit was overlarge for the current fragile frame.
He observed the consequences of the suffering of this man and though he did not know the reason for it, he felt sympathy at last.
"Lord Ninomiya, this will be the last time I visit," the Prime Minister said. "I wish you happiness. Every night for the past years, I prayed for it."
He recognized that this was more than the last time - the Prime Minister seemed to bid farewell to him and much more. He saw in the sunken eyes a reflection of his own emptiness. "Where are you going?" he asked.
"Alas, I am given the freedom to rest," the Prime Minister said. "I can stop dragging this old body around."
Evident exhaustion in the Prime Minister's being caused sorrow to rise in his chest. The presence of this witch made him nostalgic. He recalled in his childhood the deep laughter of a man he once called father. To this man in the present, he voiced his realization, "I knew you before The Void."
Acknowledging it with silence, after a moment the witch said quietly, "Before I go, I left a present. I'm sorry. That is my last gift to you."
Winter 319IV
Upheavals in the Imperial Court
The most controversial bill to pass The Jewel Assembly and be upheld by High Lord Ohno, The Act of Restitution will go into effect starting the second moon of 320IV. An age has come when victims of The Void will no longer be second class citizens, subjugated by former family, friends and colleagues. But perhaps the biggest change of all that no one saw coming was Prime Minister Yuuji's retirement and his subsequent disappearance...
By Sakurai Sho, Contributor
The darkness settled for days, perhaps weeks. Then it receded. When it did, a strange scenario greeted him. He sat in his salon - he had not visited this room since that day. Standing at his elbow was Aiba and on his other side was a female he had not seen before. They both held a tray - one with a needle and syringe, the other with a teapot of medicinal tea. His arm throbbed where it had been bandaged.
Sitting opposite him was seated a different man of slight stature with a sweet, rounded face - dressed in a casual gray suit and bow-tie. He knew this person. In their youths, he had been introduced to this man once. Now they stood at different ends of the spectrum of life and success. He tried to stand to greet the imperial guest, but his body felt heavy and his limbs refused to obey.
High Lord Ohno gestured loosely for him to not try. "Mr. Aiba t-told me you have never been s-s-sedated before," the High Lord mumbled with his infamous stutter. "How l-lucky - to be tucked away on your estate with a kind caretaker."
"I know that," he said crudely, dropping previous efforts of etiquette and any formal reference to their titles. His voice, unused, came out hoarse and low - undermining his frustration at being subdued in his own home. "There was no point of leaving here, not when under law we must be tranquilized when we are out among others. But that's not all that you did today. What else was forced into me?"
The High Lord pursed the bottom lip and squinted at documents on the table. "A-a drug the Witch Doctors invented - c-currently awaiting authorization for use - v-very effective. But too much and too often can be lethal."
"But what does it do?" he asked.
The High Lord scanned the papers and read with deliberation, "T-temporary lucidity. It eats any w-wild magic that escapes the source of containment."
He frowned at the High Lord. The most important aspect he gathered in that context was that he apparently still had magic.
"This was explained to me t-t-thoroughly," the High Lord went on with a disturbed expression and tried to recall an earlier conversation. "I'm o-orthodox. This stuff confuses me."
In the place of their sovereign, the only woman among them explained, "Lord Ninomiya, you must have wondered about the true nature of The Void before. It is not common knowledge, yet simply obvious as it is an illness that only affect witches. All witches, as my lord knows, have a natural barrier that keep their magic in check. When that natural barrier breaks, a witch's own magic will overwhelm him - it goes rogue, disrupts his mind and consumes him slowly. That is what we call The Void - and why victims of The Void are so dangerous to themselves and everyone around them."
He closed his eyes to shut them out and in the quiet solitude of his mind he considered the truth. The yellow fog, the gold-colored blood and shining sea that drowned him - it also sang to him. At once it had destroyed and embraced him. A part of himself had known all along, yet that knowledge had never made it into full realization. Eyes fluttering open, he set his gaze on the woman who he guessed to be a Witch Doctor - possibly even a part of Sakurai's team. "What is it that you want?"
The woman glanced at the High Lord and then Aiba. Cautiously, the Witch Doctor said, "We cannot promise full recovery, but a process for treatment has been in development and tested. The decade long research and study that went into this project was headed by the former Prime Minister. It was his last wish that you undergo this treatment, my lord."
The news was cause for celebration, but he observed the murky expression on all three of their faces and knew they held back vital information. "What aren't you telling me?" he asked.
Then he questioned the reason as to why the sovereign would grace his home - after all, in the years since his fall no one from the imperial court ever considered him - as if he was merely the prodigious Matsumoto's imagination. Ill forboding picked at him. In the pit of his stomach, he felt great uneasiness. "Where is the Prime Minister?" he asked warily. "Where is Jun?"
At his side, Aiba spoke at last, voice cracked from contained emotion, "Lord Nino, I passed your note to Jun. You can piece the puzzle together, can't you? You're smart and lucid enough to do it. The person who hurt you - that knowledge was inside you all along."
He tried to recall the many hundreds of nights that had been short-lived - the bits and pieces of his sanity he painstakingly connected together. When he came to a conclusion, the answer was distressing. In his madness - in his bitterness - he had allowed the truth to be hidden from himself. From his dismay, the yellow sea inside him threatened to break its confines. It roared - seeking to overpower. He hopelessly tried to quell the wild magic.
To the world, Prime Minister Yuuji had merely disappeared. "Where is my father?" he asked.
The High Lord spoke solemnly and with the conviction of justice,"He was m-m-my subject and my direct subordinate. It was m-my duty and I dealt the final blow. That is all you need to know."
In the open present, he closed his eyes against the wave of nausea that seared and threatened to spill. "Where is Jun?" he repeated - but he came to an answer even without hearing the response. He had been a curse to the person that had meant everything in his afterword. In the end, it cost him dearly.
He gave up holding onto the dregs of lucidity - the sorrowful golden beast in his chest overwhelmed the effects of the drug. It turned his pain into madness. What once had been a powerful gift claimed his mind again and consumed him.
Before he descended, he noticed his friend stood between him and their guests. Aiba invoked a green barrier between them - a Witch Soldier, trained in defense - he finally knew of it and understood why Aiba had been able to stay by his side - and he was glad of it. Another person he cared for would never be hurt because of him - that was all he should have ever wished for.
* *
In the yellow world, he was fully conscious. The music it played was both beautiful and ugly. He hated it and loved it - for it was a part of him. In this world where he had found his sanctuary, his shattered magic embraced him and told him a children's story with his favorite toys. The puppet show commenced: Once upon a time, Yuuji met Taka and fell in love. They married and lived happily ever after.
But what happened after happily ever after?
The yellow sea answered.
In ever after, Yuuji became a hero - his son's hero. Yuuji wanted to make his family proud so he embarked on an adventure. This adventure was long - very long. When he finally returned home from his very long journey, Yuuji realized he had committed a grave mistake. He had been away for far too long. Taka no longer loved him and his son no longer knew him. Yuuji was powerful and he had a terrible power. Too powerful, it consumed him. When he learned of the truth and became distraught, his power unleashed and controlled him. It ate him and his family whole. Nothing remained of what had once been. The end.
But that's not happily ever after.
But it is, the yellow sea argued, For the family had been separated for a very, very long time and in the end they were all together.
Yet in this universe, he was alone and here he had to stay until the end.
"Come back to me," a voice he had always waited for called him.
He stood on the yellow beach and looked around him searching for the source. This voice could only be in his dream because in existence he had destroyed it.
"That's not true, Kazu. I was deeply hurt, but now I am alive and recovered," Matsumoto said.
"You left me," he cried.
"Because I couldn't make you happy. And when I returned, you were no longer waiting for me," Matsumoto spoke from behind him.
"It's not true," he said. "I am waiting right here." He turned and squinted in the bright yellow sun. On the sandy beach, Matsumoto had returned to him. Matsumoto had embarked on a very, very long journey, but in that time his feelings had not changed. The sand, the sea and the sky sang for him - a most beautiful song. At last he burst into a smile.
Matsumoto mirrored it and closed the distance between them. "I'm glad I finally found you. I was afraid that I had lost you."
He felt the almost solid form of Matsumoto against him. The Witch Major's racing heartbeat against his skin was the drum of a special melody. Although it had taken years, he figured the secret to this solidarity. A Witch Dreamwalker - Matsumoto had one of the rarest talents in the world, and now it made sense from the beginning - but that didn't make traversing the dangerous darkness any easier. He was proud and thankful - through terrifying rogue magic, Matsumoto had transcended the alternate to reach him again.
"I cannot pull you out of The Void," Matsumoto said. "Will you come out, Kazu? Will you go through with the treatment, even though it might take years and may not be full recovery?"
He might never hear the music of the stars again, but it didn't matter anymore. "I wrote a song," he said. "When I wake up, will you listen?"
Mastumoto's smile was a promise - then the Witch Dreamwalker turned into dust.
The ashes piled in his hands and slipped through his fingers - and though the dust dispersed it revealed the gold band remaining on his hand.
He turned to bid the sea farewell.
Alas, he gathered his mind and started on the journey out of the yellow world.
Spring 324IV
Beyond The Void
In pieces, I lived...
By Ninomiya Kazunari, Contributor