Feminism, Body Image and The Mall: A Teachable Moment
I took Rhianna and her BFF to the mall last weekend. It was as awful as I imagined, but the kids were cute.
I don't know if your mall has the kiosks for straightening irons, DIY mani/pedi kits, acne meds, etc., but ours does. I've always been annoyed by their tactics, but it's a whole different world when you're accompanying a 12 and 14 year old.
The guy approached with the same tactic he's used for years: waving some hand cream, asking me if I'd like to try. Then he gasped at the condition of my nails. "OH MY GOSH, MA'AM: YOUR NAILS!!!"
His tone is scandalized, as if I'd managed to walk out the door without pants.
Something dormant roars up from my depths. My voice is loud and sure. It carries past this guy's little world.
"Look, girls! Check it. See how he simultaneously cut me down while acting like he was doing me a favor? See how he did it loudly enough so folks walking by would take notice of me and my TERRIBLE NAILS? This is a shaming tactic. He wants me to be so embarrassed, I'll buy his product and flee the scene. He wants other women to look at me, decide they don't want to be like me, and see what this product is about. What's so wrong with your product that you need to try and make people feel bad about themselves to buy it? What's wrong with you, sir, that you can't do your job without crapping on someone's day?"
At this point his manager steps in and I unload on him with (I'm told) awesome righteousness and dignity. Manager is stunned to silence, listens and then asks if I'd like a job. I tell him I prefer to harass senators, not shoppers. Meanwhile, the girls are yelling, "Don't listen to him! You're pretty!" totally destroying this guy's groove.
At lunch, I tell the girls that yucky dudes will try and use these same tactics to pick up women... That a certain type of guy will give a backhanded compliment to make the woman defend herself and get embroiled in an argument to win over the jerk. Unlike most of the shit I say, they honestly seem to listen.
I wouldn't trade all the sleep in the world for this.
I don't know if your mall has the kiosks for straightening irons, DIY mani/pedi kits, acne meds, etc., but ours does. I've always been annoyed by their tactics, but it's a whole different world when you're accompanying a 12 and 14 year old.
The guy approached with the same tactic he's used for years: waving some hand cream, asking me if I'd like to try. Then he gasped at the condition of my nails. "OH MY GOSH, MA'AM: YOUR NAILS!!!"
His tone is scandalized, as if I'd managed to walk out the door without pants.
Something dormant roars up from my depths. My voice is loud and sure. It carries past this guy's little world.
"Look, girls! Check it. See how he simultaneously cut me down while acting like he was doing me a favor? See how he did it loudly enough so folks walking by would take notice of me and my TERRIBLE NAILS? This is a shaming tactic. He wants me to be so embarrassed, I'll buy his product and flee the scene. He wants other women to look at me, decide they don't want to be like me, and see what this product is about. What's so wrong with your product that you need to try and make people feel bad about themselves to buy it? What's wrong with you, sir, that you can't do your job without crapping on someone's day?"
At this point his manager steps in and I unload on him with (I'm told) awesome righteousness and dignity. Manager is stunned to silence, listens and then asks if I'd like a job. I tell him I prefer to harass senators, not shoppers. Meanwhile, the girls are yelling, "Don't listen to him! You're pretty!" totally destroying this guy's groove.
At lunch, I tell the girls that yucky dudes will try and use these same tactics to pick up women... That a certain type of guy will give a backhanded compliment to make the woman defend herself and get embroiled in an argument to win over the jerk. Unlike most of the shit I say, they honestly seem to listen.
I wouldn't trade all the sleep in the world for this.