POP QUIZ

[bironic]

Or not. I was going to make this a poll with radio buttons-"Which of the following embarrassing sentences did bironic not write once upon a time"-but you know what? I had too much fun picking out passages. So: All of the following come from stories I wrote between the ages of about 13 and 18. Hope you enjoy.

Warning for indirect references to noncon.

Comments

[thedeadparrot]

I totally hear you on the audience thing, and I know there's this huge mental block to break through regarding it, but there comes a point where you can say, "Fuck it," and write totally self-indulgent fanfic without the pressure of everyone else on you. I'm not always able to do that, but when I can (usually while I'm too tired to let other things get to me), the writing that comes out is some of my best.

But yes, you'd be surprised how small the distance between 'enjoyable' and 'totally self-indulgent' can be. No, really. Give it a shot.

[bironic]

I look forward to this great day.

It's funny, because I love when other people post self-indulgent fic. It means they love what they're writing about beyond what usually holds them back, which usually means that love translates to the reader. Especially when it's personal, because when it's very personal it becomes universal. And yet. And yet that doesn't seem to work the other way around for me.

[thedeadparrot]

Actually, now that I think about it more, one thing that really helped was reading this post by cesperanza a few years back that said, basically, that for her, not every story had to be a home run. Some of them could be singles or doubles or even sometimes just a bunt, and that was okay.

Just thinking of my writing that way helps take the pressure off for me. I'm not going to hit one out of the park every time. The fic I'm currently working on probably will not hit two pages of comments. And that's okay. Maybe the next one will.

[bironic]

But but but. Then it's like, if you've been on the DL for half a season, you can't come back and hit a bunt. You know? Finishing stories so sporadically, I feel like they have to be good to make up for it.

[ignazwisdom]

This causes two problems: one, when I sit down to write a story, it's hard to tune out the background noise of other people's ideas and characterizations and find my own; and two, I'm thinking about what people's reactions to the writing might be when I finish and post, which makes me nervous about phrasing and originality and maturity and-just about everything, and can shut me down before I've gotten very far, or as I get near the end.

Yep! Me too! :)

[bironic]

Partners in writing issues! Awesome.

[elynittria]

Your analysis of the difference between writing fanfic for LJ and writing for oneself was fascinating to read, and just so true. I hope to talk about this in more depth this weekend!

Edited to eliminate redundancy caused by rewriting.

[bironic]

I hope to be articulate in person!

[daasgrrl]

I was dropping by to catch up on your trip, but got sidetracked by this post. I think your early stuff is okay; it's less mature and more self-conscious than your later writing, but it's still pretty, you know, literate.

And it's definitely a worthwhile aim to write stuff for yourself, if it makes you happy :)

[bironic]

I guess the ultimate goal would be for my-fic and posted-fic to not necessarily be two separate entities. But one step at a time. (So go many things this year, it seems.)

Really need to do those last couple of trip posts before the semester starts. *adds to whiteboard*

Picked up James Gleick's biography of Richard Feynman today from the library. I like his writing and I am intrigued by Feynman, so it should be fun.

[maddoggirl]

13 to 18? 18? I'm only 17! I'm going to be laughing so hard at myself in a few years, I guess. I'm already deeply embarrassed by stuff I wrote a year ago in the House fandom. Yours were quite sweet, reminded me of stuff I wrote when I was 13/14-ish. Better than 90% of fanfic anyway :D

[bironic]

:)

Hey, who knows? -- maybe writing maturity is accelerated when an author is already online, helped along by experienced people's comments.