Snippet in search of a story: temporarily-in-a-female-body!McKay invites Sheppard over to experiment
Ugh. My ability to write has been missing since July. I thought it had come back last night, when I finally wrested the first half of this from my brain, but it went away again. So, here -- have half a story I've been wanting to write for a while, in the hope that posting it will nudge me closer to revival. The first 700 words are actual story draft and then the end is in summary form.
"Holy shit, McKay," was the first thing out of John's mouth after he stepped into Rodney's quarters.
"What?" said Rodney, who'd been sure to tie the belt on his ratty bathrobe. He supposed he probably had a hell of a case of bedhead, though, and he hadn't gone so far as to shave his legs.
John gestured in the general direction of Rodney and his mess of a bed. Rodney glanced behind him, and hm, yes, the pile of toys, tissues and empty condom wrappers did look pretty impressive. "It smells like-is this all you've been doing for the past three days?"
"Of course not," Rodney said. Then, unable to hold back a grin, he amended, "Only every spare minute in between trying to figure out how to change back."
At that, John lost a bit of the apprehensiveness he'd come in with. "So what's it like?"
"Pretty much awesome." He bounced a bit on his toes to match the grin, because it really, really was pretty much the greatest thing ever. So long as it was temporary. "It's more complicated than before, obviously, and the sensations come from all the wrong places, but when you get there, it's like nothing else. Then you wait a few minutes and you can do it all over again."
John gave an appropriately appreciative nod. "Gonna be popular with the ladies after this," he said, which was totally true.
Then they just sort of looked at each other.
"Sooo," John said finally, leering like the intergalactic playboy Rodney knew he was.
"So," Rodney agreed, and clapped his hands. "I've been working with objects of increasing circumference"-waving a hand toward the array of stuff on the bed again-"and I think I'm ready to do this. How wide are you around?"
"How..." John echoed. He looked down at his crotch and then warily back at Rodney as though he expected him to come at him with a tape measure. Which, to be fair, Rodney hadn't discounted yet as a possibility. "Wide enough. Never had any complaints."
"Ha very ha, but not what I'm looking for, Studley. Vaginas take work. I don't know how women do it when they're getting started. What do you think? Five inches? Six? I can do five and an eighth, but six might be a stretch. Literally."
"I don't know. I haven't measured it lately." Then, squinting at the bed again: "Is that a tuttle root? Did you put a condom on a tuttle root and-"
"Don't be ridiculous," Rodney lied, because Teyla would never, ever let him live it down. "Let's have a look at you, then."
John snorted. "Romantic."
"Sorry, gaining a second X chromosome hasn't predisposed me to candles and sweet nothings." But John was working at his belt, so Rodney called it a win. "Besides, you know I asked you because Ronon's would be scary."
"Hey. I take offense to that. I think." Boots kicked off towards the wall, BDUs crumpled on top of them. The t-shirt followed. Rodney watched with a certain degree of appreciation as John finally tucked his thumbs under the waistband of his ridiculous boxers and glanced at him again. "Everything?"
"I may be a virgin in this body, but I'm certainly not blushing. C'mon, I've seen it all before. Hell, I've had one before."
"Jeez, I was just being polite," and there went the rest of his clothes. He was nursing a semi already, which was flattering, but he wasn't hard enough yet for Rodney to tell if this was going to work.
"Hm," he said. "Can you-?" He made a jerk-off motion.
John rolled his eyes. "Smooth. Give a guy something to work with, would you?"
"Oh, right. Um." Then he shrugged, undid his belt and let his bathrobe fall to the floor. Whatever; John was going to see it all in a few minutes anyway.
John gave him a once-over, which became a twice-over and was on its way to a thrice-over when he said, "Huh."
"Way to stroke a guy's ego."
"No, it's just... you're you, but you've got..."
"Breasts," Rodney said happily, cupping and lifting them to demonstrate. "I've got great breasts, you have to admit. Wanna feel? Here, c'mon." He sat on the bed and waved John over. John approached, hesitated, then got on the bed on all fours over him when Rodney lay back to make room.
BLAH BLAH and then John plays with Rodney's breasts for a while and remarks on how weird the whole thing is except clearly he is turned on by it all, and when they lie back Rodney kicks the toys off the bed to make room but on second thought picks up the rabbit vibrator-
To which John says, "Where the hell did you get a rabbit vibrator?"
And Rodney says, "Cadman came by with an armload of stuff when she heard. You would not believe-okay, no, everyone would believe [something something about how Cadman owns the equivalent of half an adult toy store, the kinky wench]."
-and he holds it up against John's hardening dick because he'd managed to take the vibrator and wants to compare, and John's like, "What the hell, only you, McKay," and Rodney's like, "Shut up, this is science," and John's like, "I can't believe this is turning me on." Or no, maybe he says it when they get around to the penetration, after Rodney has poured lube all over him, because it stretches at first and Rodney's ordering John all over the place, "Wait wait, back up, okay, angle down, hang on, okay, lean back some more, oh yeah, right there," etc. etc., and Rodney eventually gets him in, and when he's finally got John where he wants him, the friction picks up and it feels great, except he still can't get off, because it's not as easy to rub off as a woman than it was as a guy, so despite John's efforts with his fingers and Rodney's own efforts after he knocks John's hand away impatiently, he picks up Cadman's Magic Wand, and it's like ten seconds before he's coming hard with a groan. And then John, who is all red and still trying to mock the whole situation, lets himself come, and they lie in bed half on top of each other all sweaty and stuff, and probably it ends with a quip about John going down on him next time. For science! The end.
...Maybe it's a pacing problem. Because the summary at the end there amuses me more than most of the story itself.
"Holy shit, McKay," was the first thing out of John's mouth after he stepped into Rodney's quarters.
"What?" said Rodney, who'd been sure to tie the belt on his ratty bathrobe. He supposed he probably had a hell of a case of bedhead, though, and he hadn't gone so far as to shave his legs.
John gestured in the general direction of Rodney and his mess of a bed. Rodney glanced behind him, and hm, yes, the pile of toys, tissues and empty condom wrappers did look pretty impressive. "It smells like-is this all you've been doing for the past three days?"
"Of course not," Rodney said. Then, unable to hold back a grin, he amended, "Only every spare minute in between trying to figure out how to change back."
At that, John lost a bit of the apprehensiveness he'd come in with. "So what's it like?"
"Pretty much awesome." He bounced a bit on his toes to match the grin, because it really, really was pretty much the greatest thing ever. So long as it was temporary. "It's more complicated than before, obviously, and the sensations come from all the wrong places, but when you get there, it's like nothing else. Then you wait a few minutes and you can do it all over again."
John gave an appropriately appreciative nod. "Gonna be popular with the ladies after this," he said, which was totally true.
Then they just sort of looked at each other.
"Sooo," John said finally, leering like the intergalactic playboy Rodney knew he was.
"So," Rodney agreed, and clapped his hands. "I've been working with objects of increasing circumference"-waving a hand toward the array of stuff on the bed again-"and I think I'm ready to do this. How wide are you around?"
"How..." John echoed. He looked down at his crotch and then warily back at Rodney as though he expected him to come at him with a tape measure. Which, to be fair, Rodney hadn't discounted yet as a possibility. "Wide enough. Never had any complaints."
"Ha very ha, but not what I'm looking for, Studley. Vaginas take work. I don't know how women do it when they're getting started. What do you think? Five inches? Six? I can do five and an eighth, but six might be a stretch. Literally."
"I don't know. I haven't measured it lately." Then, squinting at the bed again: "Is that a tuttle root? Did you put a condom on a tuttle root and-"
"Don't be ridiculous," Rodney lied, because Teyla would never, ever let him live it down. "Let's have a look at you, then."
John snorted. "Romantic."
"Sorry, gaining a second X chromosome hasn't predisposed me to candles and sweet nothings." But John was working at his belt, so Rodney called it a win. "Besides, you know I asked you because Ronon's would be scary."
"Hey. I take offense to that. I think." Boots kicked off towards the wall, BDUs crumpled on top of them. The t-shirt followed. Rodney watched with a certain degree of appreciation as John finally tucked his thumbs under the waistband of his ridiculous boxers and glanced at him again. "Everything?"
"I may be a virgin in this body, but I'm certainly not blushing. C'mon, I've seen it all before. Hell, I've had one before."
"Jeez, I was just being polite," and there went the rest of his clothes. He was nursing a semi already, which was flattering, but he wasn't hard enough yet for Rodney to tell if this was going to work.
"Hm," he said. "Can you-?" He made a jerk-off motion.
John rolled his eyes. "Smooth. Give a guy something to work with, would you?"
"Oh, right. Um." Then he shrugged, undid his belt and let his bathrobe fall to the floor. Whatever; John was going to see it all in a few minutes anyway.
John gave him a once-over, which became a twice-over and was on its way to a thrice-over when he said, "Huh."
"Way to stroke a guy's ego."
"No, it's just... you're you, but you've got..."
"Breasts," Rodney said happily, cupping and lifting them to demonstrate. "I've got great breasts, you have to admit. Wanna feel? Here, c'mon." He sat on the bed and waved John over. John approached, hesitated, then got on the bed on all fours over him when Rodney lay back to make room.
BLAH BLAH and then John plays with Rodney's breasts for a while and remarks on how weird the whole thing is except clearly he is turned on by it all, and when they lie back Rodney kicks the toys off the bed to make room but on second thought picks up the rabbit vibrator-
To which John says, "Where the hell did you get a rabbit vibrator?"
And Rodney says, "Cadman came by with an armload of stuff when she heard. You would not believe-okay, no, everyone would believe [something something about how Cadman owns the equivalent of half an adult toy store, the kinky wench]."
-and he holds it up against John's hardening dick because he'd managed to take the vibrator and wants to compare, and John's like, "What the hell, only you, McKay," and Rodney's like, "Shut up, this is science," and John's like, "I can't believe this is turning me on." Or no, maybe he says it when they get around to the penetration, after Rodney has poured lube all over him, because it stretches at first and Rodney's ordering John all over the place, "Wait wait, back up, okay, angle down, hang on, okay, lean back some more, oh yeah, right there," etc. etc., and Rodney eventually gets him in, and when he's finally got John where he wants him, the friction picks up and it feels great, except he still can't get off, because it's not as easy to rub off as a woman than it was as a guy, so despite John's efforts with his fingers and Rodney's own efforts after he knocks John's hand away impatiently, he picks up Cadman's Magic Wand, and it's like ten seconds before he's coming hard with a groan. And then John, who is all red and still trying to mock the whole situation, lets himself come, and they lie in bed half on top of each other all sweaty and stuff, and probably it ends with a quip about John going down on him next time. For science! The end.
...Maybe it's a pacing problem. Because the summary at the end there amuses me more than most of the story itself.