Outside the Citadel, Camelot, Wednesday
One warrior fell back and dropped on his arse. Loudly.But no one dared to utter a word. After all, who knew who'd be next? ... George, as it turned out: he stumbled backwards and bounced his head off of the walls. And after him, whatshisname, the one with the-- something with an S
( Read more... )
Comments 3
Dear Arthur Bloody Pendragon and your loads of titles,
WHY ARE ROYALS SO BLOODY ANNOYING?! Met with Elayne the other day (she's gotten fat) and after very nicely offering her a terrifically reasonable price on shiny new cannons (they call them dragons here, but they're bloody cannons. I invented them, so they should be called mats. Bloody Rand gets credit for everything. Plus mats are already something. Blood and ashes.), she told me she had to think about it and bundled me out of the castle like I'd trod manure into her bloody throne room.
EXPLAIN.
Mat, who also has a load of titles but doesn't bloody use them as it's a giant waste of ink
Reply
How reasonable was your price? Did you by chance attempt to charm her with your sunny disposition? I have the oddest feeling that you may be leaving out several important details.
I am faring well, thank you for asking. The new crop of would-be knights are a bloody waste of air.
Regards,
Prince Arthur Pendragon [thorough list of titles]
Reply
First of all, Prince of Ravens is a bloody stupid title and I will not answer to it. General, at least, I earned by doing something other than marry someone else. Haven't seen her since, but never you bloody mind that. And I was, of course, charming until she was no longer charming.
And now we're bloody cooling our heels while she settles a trifling matter of potential civil war. I'd be all sympathy if it weren't for the tiny problem of the END OF THE BLOODY WORLD.
--Mat. No ravens.
Reply
Leave a comment