(no subject)
Title: The Kidnapping
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs Jared/Jensen,
Rating :R
Words10,000/3,638,900
Warnings: Wincest
Summary: When Dean gets sick with a cold Sam take the opportunity to do Christmas right.
Notes:: AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
It was easy to pretend to be perfect all the time. Sam was actually sort of a master at it. He lost his cool sometimes, but that was in private and on more than one occasion he had locked himself in his china closet and quietly sobbed over whatever happened to be bothering him. He always tried his best to stay calm and composed because in his family, in his house, that was the only way to survive. He couldn't show any weakness in front of the kids because they, or really just Ethan, would use that to his advantage.
Survival was very important to Sam and it didn't start and stop with putting up a strong façade twenty-four hours a day, he had other rules as well. He knew to never allow himself to be proven wrong in front of the kids or Dean. He knew that he had to set the example he wanted the kids to follow and if that meant scrubbing the toilets every afternoon he was going to do it because one day the kids would do it and he wouldn't have to anymore. The number one most important rule for survival, was that under no circumstances, no matter how dire the situation seemed was he going to get within ten feet of Dean when he was sick. It wasn't about germs or even getting himself sick, Sam just wasn't that stupid.
"Dad! Help!"
"Oh, no." Sam said as he backed away. "I told you not to come up here. You're a stupid ginger."
"You're as mean as you are tall!"
"And free as a bird." Sam said as he flapped his arms around the room. "Free as a bird!"
"You help me right now!"
Dean snorted, snored, sneezed a little, and then drew Michael closer into a death grip. Michael had started out as the little spoon, like a damned fool, and now he was wrapped in Dean's arms and legs. Dean was practically on top of him and Michael could barely move his head back and forth let alone the rest of his body. The best part was that Dean wasn't just sleeping, he was passed the fuck out, basically dead to the world and Sam knew it would be at least an hour or two before he released his kung fu grip.
"He's breathing so hot on my neck." Michael frowned. "Imma git sick."
"Git sick?"
"I will call grandpa!"
"That same cold took him down six hours ago. Mom said he passed out in the bathtub with a bottle of whiskey."
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Just lay there. It's not the first time some old man has pressed his boner into your back."
"He ain't got no boner!"
"Yet." Sam grinned. "It's like the sunrise, it always happens whether you want it to or not. Now, I have things to do and you have to stay here because you didn't listen when I warned you to keep your distance."
Michael tried to bargain and squirm, but Sam walked out of the bedroom without helping him. He deserved to be punished for not listening and Sam absolutely was not going to feel bad about it. Dean might get a little sickly sleep wood, but Michael slept next to Alex every night so Sam was sure he could handle it gracefully and maybe eventually he'd wiggle out and rejoin the rest of the family, at least the part that wasn't in quarantine.
When Sam got to the living room he saw that his dividing lines were still firmly in place. On one side was Mikey, Evan, and Ollie all lumped together under three or four blankets. There were about a million tissues on the floor and Ollie had brought ten or so stuffed animals from his room to help him convalesce. Evan had Spotty near his feet keeping him warm and Mikey was content with a thick scarf and a thicker book.
On the other side of the living room, Mary, Milo, and Ethan were camped out without any blankets or tissues. They did have Oinkers on their side, but that was only because Ollie knew all about the swine flu and he didn't want his sweet baby pig getting sick. Milo didn't seem to care about the health status of anyone in the house, but Ethan certainly did and he was pissed off.
"Daddy? Can I kiss Evan like you kiss daddy?"
"Lovingly? When he's better."
"No, like sexy teens with the tongues and hair pulling and being werewolves."
"You want to make out with your brother?" Sam asked. "Normally I'd support you completely, but you are not making yourself sick on purpose."
"I wasn't gonna!"
"Daddy." Mikey said hoarsely. "I went to pee and when I came back he was trying to get Evan to sneeze in his throat."
"I didn't do it daddy."
"Good boy." Sam smiled. "Ethan, you're gross."
"Oh, whatever, daddy says you touch his butt all the time."
"Not when he's sick I don't!"
"Daddy, my booboo."
When Sam looked over Milo was pouting with his lip sticking out about six feet from his face. He had somehow made his big blue eyes even bigger and bluer and they were welled up with the saddest fake tears. He was pointing at his knee where he had the tiniest little scrape from falling down the stairs not a half hour ago. He wasn't hurt because he fell down the stairs at least twice a week on account of being a spaz, but his little scrape required lots of kisses, which Sam gladly delivered before leaving Mikey in charge of maintaining the quarantine.
In the kitchen Sam was going to check on his other sweet baby, who thankfully didn't seem to be getting sick, but he did look disturbed, uncomfortable, and more than a little suspicious. When Sam had gone to check on Dean he left Zora in charge of Buster, who had been sleeping. He was wide awake now and Zora was holding him like he was a ticking time bomb about to explode. They were both staring at each other and he seemed less than pleased that she was sort of swinging him back and forth like a child might do with a cat.
"Who told you to touch my baby?" Sam asked. "You're supposed to be watching the jam so it doesn't overcook."
"Oh, yeah…I don't care about that. He started making all these noises and I didn't want the kids in here around that seventy-five pound pot of molten fruit and sugar."
"Don't hold him like that. Hold him against your chest."
"What if he gets fresh with me?"
"He's a Winchester, consider it your greatest achievement as a human being."
Zora was a natural caregiver, at least with anyone over four, anyone who could mostly take care of themselves. She had become fast friends with Mikey and the twins, and she could even handle Ollie in small controlled bursts, but he was about as young as she would go. Milo was just a jerk and made her life a living hell whenever he had the chance. Mary loved her and Zora liked her as well, but she seemed very concerned about doing something wrong with such a young child. All that said she was positively petrified of Buster. Sam wasn't sure if it was because he was so very tiny, or if Dean had just convinced her that he was close to death, Zora was very cautious around him. Sam was actually a little surprised that she had picked him up, but dealing with him did seem like it might be easier than dealing with all the kids and the huge pot of jam.
"This isn't done yet." Sam said as he inspected the pot. "There you go. Look at you holding a baby!"
"He's got his hand on my boob. Oh, God, I can't handle babies."
"Don't you want kids eventually?" Sam asked. "You should have at least eight. Once you have eight it gets super easy."
"Not right now. Some women don't want kids, it's perfectly normal. I don't know if I ever want kids, not these babies, it's just what some people want!"
"Whoa…calm down, I was just asking a question."
Zora was normally pretty cool and collected and she had gotten really comfortable around everyone. Sam had never seen her get so agitated so quickly before. Dean had undoubtedly asked her if she wanted kids at least thirty times, and maybe that was too much. Sam was going to have to ask him to chill the fuck out because Zora was clearly annoyed by the question. She actually looked a little upset so Sam was all prepared to drop it, but then Zora sighed heavily and patted Buster on his butt like she had done it a thousand times.
"I started seeing someone."
"Oooh, girl!" Sam whispered. "No, you didn't not even."
"Seeing or like talking to…seeing I guess. Someone I've been talking to for a while…it's new and things that aren't so important to one person might be more important to another person."
"So this…person…wants kids in the future?"
Sam was very careful to not use any gender specific pronoun. That was just good manners, but he was especially careful around Zora because he had no idea if she had a preference. She seemed like the kind of woman who fell in love with a person and didn't really care much what was on the outside. That's what Sam had assumed, and he was just about to find out how incredibly true it was.
"Melody."
"Melody." Sam smiled. "That's a mermaid name!"
"I guess?"
"She should come over for dinner one night, you know once you're sure you're seeing and not just talking to her, I'll cook something fantastic and put the kids in the basement with a pizza so Ethan doesn't ask anything ridiculous. It'll be fab…"
"She's trans."
"Hmm?" Sam said as he leaned forward. "She's what?"
"Transgender." Zora said quite clearly. "Trans."
Sam moved back to where he had been standing and then took what he knew was the world's longest and most uncomfortable pause. He has no idea how long it really was, but it seemed like ages based solely upon on how many times Zora blinked and her long, thick, black eyelashes fluttered. Sam really had no prejudices against anyone, except the Polish, and that was only because they had wronged him, but he also had absolutely no experience with the transgender people.
In an instant Sam felt terrible about all the advocacy he had done in his career because he had mostly focused on gay rights, which were his rights. He supported his entire community, but he had never really given much thought to anyone besides gay men and lesbian women. It was a shame, but it was also something he could rectify in the future so he didn't dwell on it any longer. It was a good thing too, because he was pretty sure he hadn't said anything for about forty-five minutes.
"Fabulous!"
"Excuse me?"
"That's wonderful." Sam smiled. "Everyone deserves someone special."
"You literally didn't say anything for like three minutes."
"I'm sorry, I was making a mental list of everything Dean is going to ask me and wondering how I'm going to explain to him that sometimes people don't want a penis. He loves his penis."
"I know, he tells me all the time."
"What does she do?"
"She's a lawyer, works in the city, lives here."
"What kind of lawyer?"
"Corporate."
"Ooh, you'll be popping tags all over town."
"Do something with that jam." Zora sighed. "It's making me nervous."
"Oh, right."
While Sam tended to his jam, Zora tended to Buster and seemed to relax quite a bit because she began to talk very openly about her private life for really the first time. She had met Melody a few years back before she had fully transitioned and was simply living as a woman. They became fast friends and Zora had always assumed that was all they ever would be. Even after Melody had completed all her therapy, counseling, and surgery Zora still just thought they were really good friends. That changed a few months ago and it was all very new, but Zora was feeling like it might continue to get more serious.
She never explicitly stated when they became more than friends, but based on what she didn't say Sam assumed it was shortly after Zora stopped working for the NYPD. It made perfect sense that something would blossom between two friends after a traumatic experience. Melody had probably been there for her, like best friends, were supposed to be and eventually it became something more, something that really seemed to make Zora happy.
"So…" Sam said as he ladled the jam into jars. "Did she identify as gay before she decided to transition?"
"No."
"Oh…that's…"
"Unusual?" Zora laughed quietly. "Growing up she always dated girls and identified as straight."
"As a man. What about now?"
"Now there's me...and we're really good friends, and...I don't know, I'm not sure there's a label for it, you know?"
"Yeah."
"I've been with guys before, I've been really...satisfied with guys."
"Oh, you're preaching to the choir."
"But there was a girl before Melody, if it doesn't work out there might be another girl or maybe a guy."
Zora seemed hesitant to use to use the word "Bisexual" and Sam completely understood why. Though he had been with a woman, Sam sure as hell wasn't going to label himself as anything other than gay. Auden also refused to label himself bisexual, citing that the label had been ruined by college girls who wanted to piss off daddy. Sam wasn't so sure about that, but it seemed like a lot of people didn't want to put a name on it and that was fine. Gay, straight, both depending on the other person, it didn't seem to really matter as long as two people liked each other.
"You know, it was a very long time before big daddy upstairs identified as gay."
"Really?" Zora asked. "Dean strikes me as super gay, gayer than you even with the canning and pickling and whatever the hell you're always doing in here."
"Really?" Sam beamed. "That is so sweet!"
"Sure..."
"Anyway, he's never been with another guy, I don't know that he would either."
"What if something happened to you?"
"Oh, The Angels would just bring me back."
"Excuse me?"
"Uh..." Sam said before awkwardly clearing his throat. "What I meant was...well, he'd probably be done with dating and stuff."
"What if you died tomorrow?"
"Oh, no, I mean if I died tomorrow, he wouldn't date or marry anyone else."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah." Sam sighed. "Thank Gabe I'm not going anywhere!"
"Who's Gabe?"
Sam laughed awkwardly again and then decided to star canning his jam so he'd quit talking. Thinking about dying was bad enough, but knowing Dean would never move on was just so much worse. Sam thought if anything happened to Dean then maybe, one day, after the kids were all grown up, he might be open to it, but the idea of sharing a life with someone else just seemed weird. Luckily for all involved Sam had already made plans to die when he was very old, just seconds after Dean did. That meant Dean would never have to be alone, and Sam would only be the head of the family for a minute at the most.
"Anyway, we'll have dinner. Whenever you want to bring her over."
"Thanks, Sam."
"No problem. I can't wait to meet her."
"Maybe after the holidays when I assume your Christmas crazies will calm down."
"Christmas crazies?" Sam asked. "What does that mean exactly?"
"Well..."
Zora gestured to the counter in from of here where they were about sixty jars that needed to be filled with jam. Just last week she had been around when Sam was liquoring up all the fruit cakes he had already made and Dean had begrudgingly given her a very in-depth tour of his pottery stuff including all the plates he had thrown. Sam already had about fifteen sets all beautifully boxed and wrapped and they were just perfect. Of course the dishes were for close friends, the baskets Sam was making were for everyone else.
Though she didn't ask, Sam still went into his china closet and grabbed one of the baskets he had specially ordered during the summer when they found a fantastic artisan in South Carolina. The man didn't think he could fill such a large order, but then just a week ago forty huge dark wicket baskets arrived in a big brown truck. All Sam had to do was fill them all and then the courier service would cart them all over town and in the city.
"See, each basket is getting a jam, made from the cherries we picked at the end of summer, one of the fruit cakes, a few blocks of cheese, an orchid, my favorite new fern, and a little box of cookies I still have to make."
"Are...are you serious?"
"Of course. It looks like a lot of work, but I started in January."
"January like twelve months ago?"
"Twenty-four." Sam smiled. "I wanted to grow all the orchids myself. What's your favorite fern?"
"I uh...people don't have favorite ferns!"
"Of course they do!"
"Crazy people maybe." Zora said under her breath. "Crazy gay Martha Stewart people."
"Well, someone's only getting one fruit cake."
"I don't want any fruit cake. They're disgusting."
"Oh, hell no!"
Just to prove a very valid point, the point being that fruitcake was delicious, Sam stopped his jam canning and went into the china closet again. The fruitcakes were each wrapped in a linen tea towel and stored in really gorgeous reproduction baking tins. Sam had done the math and he had five extra, which was perfect because Dean usually ate one all by himself. Even though they needed one more dousing of liquor Sam thought it might be okay to sample a piece early, so he picked one up, brought it into the kitchen and lovingly unwrapped it.
Zora was completely unimpressed with the really stunning presentation and she didn't seem to care one bit when Sam showed off all the thick and gooey dried fruits, which he had dried himself, that were crammed into the thin half inch slice he plated up. He cut himself a piece too and loved the thick scent of sugar and expensive dark rum. It smelled like Christmas and it tasted even better.
"Damn, that's a fine fruitcake."
"Ugh." Zora moaned. "I hate myself, it's the most amazing thing I've ever eaten."
"Mmhmm!" Sam said smugly. "Would you like a cup of coffee to go with it?"
"Yes, please."
"Do you apologize for calling me a gay Martha Stewart?"
"Absolutely not."
"Eh." Sam shrugged. "That's fair."
Sam made Zora and himself a very nice cup of coffee and while he worked on the jam, she had two more slices of fruit cake and then accepted a book on ferns from the living room so she could pick out her favorite. She was really fitting in well with the family, and she agreed that hanging out with Sam sure as hell beat dealing with Dean.
Being sick sucked more ass than Dean normally did. You did gross things, you felt gross, and worst of all you looked gross. Dean looked absolutely hideous, but he thought maybe that's because he had been staring at himself in the bathroom mirror for ten minutes trying to find the will to live. His hair was dirty from sweating, it was a mess from tossing and turning, his skin was all shiny and clammy, and his eyes were watery and red. He was still a total nine, but Dean was used to being a solid ten and it really sucked.
Since he was so sick and near death Dean cried out for help several times. He couldn't yell too loud because he was so tired, but he did mew several times in a row in the hopes that Sam would hear him, take a shower with him, jerk him off maybe, and then tuck him back into bed. After about five minutes of whimpering and whining Dean gave up and decided he'd just have to shower by himself. He still wanted to jerk off, but without Sam there to jerk off on it didn't seem as much fun.
After stripping down and admiring himself in the mirror Dean got into the steaming hot shower all by himself. It was lonely in there, but the hot water was doing wonders. Just getting clean always made him feel better, and the steam sort of cleared his head out some. After ten minutes of soaping up, rinsing off, and scrubbing his hair Dean actually felt almost normal. He was still on the brink of death and he certainly needed to be jerked off as soon as possible, but he felt a little bit better, at least well enough to maybe have some toast and some of Sam's fancy tea.
Once he got out of the shower Dean toweled off and then went into the closet to find his comfiest of comfy clothes. He knew he wasn't going to be out of bed for long so he pulled on a pair of very old and worn sweatpants, some thick socks, one of Sam's t-shirts, which he swam in, and a Harvard sweatshirt Michael had given him. It wasn't the greatest look in the world, but Dean sure was comfy and it was a good getting jerked off outfit.
When Dean made it halfway down the stairs he very quickly forgot about what he was going to shoot all over Sam's handsome face, because something was wrong. The house was quiet, way too quiet. It was almost six which was after dinner, but before bedtime. The kids weren't all feeling great so Dean knew they weren't at John's and even if they had been Sam would have kept Buster at home. They would have made a little bit of noise, but there was nothing, not a single peep, until Dean heard a mug clink against the counter, all the way in the kitchen.
Because it had been so long since he got hugs and kisses Dean rushed down the stairs ready to get both from Sam, but he stopped short before he even got to the landing. From where he was standing he had a view of the dining room and the tables, the chairs, and the floor were covered in huge baskets filled with a bunch of shit. Sam's crazy was in full effect, but it seemed very strange that the baskets were already out and they seemed to be mostly done. Upon closer inspection Dean saw little cards and address labels attached to each one, and the spread was really nice. The orchids were beautiful, the fruitcakes were perfectly packaged, and the ruby red cherry jam was still warm to the touch.
"Hey, sleeping beauty."
"Oh, shit!" Dean yelled as he turned around. "You scared me!"
"I'm sorry." Zora said as she picked up her coffee mug. "I thought you were never going to wake up."
"Where is everyone? Where's Sammy?"
"Oh, he's gone." Zora said before picking up an envelope. "He left you this letter."
"Ugh, where did he go? Where are the kids?"
"I think it's in the letter. Shall I read it?"
"It's probably private." Dean said as he walked into the kitchen. "Probably sexy...go ahead."
"Fabulous, this is going to be fabulous."
Dean was immediately suspicious of Zora, but he was too tired and hungry to care. There wasn't anything on the stove for him to eat and it didn't look like Sam had cooked anything either. That was when Dean was sure that Sam had taken the kids out to eat somewhere, but then even that seemed a little farfetched. He couldn't handle all the kids on his own, he was just a regular dad, not a super dad.
"Dearest husband..."
"Oh, Jesus!" Dean cried. "He left me for Auden, didn't he? Oh, God, I knew this was going to happen. I knew I should have killed that sexy southern bastard when I had the chance!"
"'Dearest husband.'" Zora continued. "'If you're reading this it means I'm already gone and Auden has adopted the kids. We've changed Buster's name to Rutherford and I'm now a strict bottom and super into fisting, giving and receiving.'"
"Wow, that's a kick in the nuts."
"'Lol, jk, omg.'"
"Did he really write that?"
"Yeah, he did. 'Anyway, I'm sorry I'm not there to jerk you off, but I have a very good reason. You'll have to forgive me, but I talked it over with the kids and we decided as a family that you're fucking ridiculous and short.'"
"What the hell!"
"'So I quickly finished the baskets, except for the cookies, packed bags for the kids, and for you, don't worry, and we've all gone to Vermont to celebrate Christmas.'"
"The hell he is!"
"'It should be apparent by now that I've taken your baby. Should he survive the perilous journey we should be at the house around seven. If he perishes, I'll jerk you off twice and let you finish wherever you want.'"
"That son of a bitch!" Dean yelled. "And fyi, I always finish wherever I want."
"Didn't ask, don't care."
"Oh, well, screw you then."
"'My trusty employee Zora has kindly offered to drive you to Vermont in exchange for fruit cake. Please don't dawdle, I wanna....'"
"He wants to what?"
"Oh, God." Zora sighed. "'Eat yo' dick. xoxo Sam Matherne.' Who the hell is Sam Matherne?"
"That's that cocksucker Auden's last name. Damnit, I can't believe he kidnapped the kids!"
Dean was so pissed off he couldn't see straight, but at the same time he wasn't surprised at all. Fucking Sam always did whatever the hell he wanted to with little regard for anyone else. Three of the kids were sick, and if they were anything like Dean that meant every moment was agony for them. To force them into a car for five hours in the blistering cold was barbaric. Then there was the worst part, that absolutely unforgiveable part, Sam had taken Buster, who was probably so scared and confused and generally unwell.
"Okay." Zora smiled. "Sam packed everything except for your makeup and toiletries, so toss those in your purse and let's get going. I had a whole pot of coffee, I'm ready to drive."
"First of all it's skincare, and a Prada man bag, not a purse. Secondly, five hours in a car with you seems a little much."
"Sam said I had to drive you because the medicine you took makes you drowsy and also? You're short."
"We're not driving."
"Then how are we supposed to get there."
"Sometime I forget you're poor." Dean frowned. "Do you even know what Prada is? Ugh, you'll never be glamour."
"I'm not poor!"
"Well, you're about to feel poor as fuck."
Exactly thirty-two minutes later Dean was sitting in a very comfortable leather chair mixing cold medicine with Champagne while Zora sat across from him with a look of bewildered disbelief in her eyes. It took five fucking hours to drive to Vermont and Dean didn't have time for that, not when his kids were sick and his poor baby was missing him terribly. Driving places were for people who couldn't afford better, and Dean could afford better, or rather Sam could since his dumbass was paying the black card bill next month.
"How..." Zora said before she paused. "How did we get here?"
"You drove us here."
"I mean on this plane. You two just have a plane waiting around 24/7."
"Most people do."
"No, they don't!"
"Champagne, Ms. Wilson?" The attendant asked. "Can I get you anything else?"
"Can you make me a screwdriver?"
"Absolutely. Mr. Winchester, you look more handsome every time I see you. I like your sweatshirt."
"Thanks, girl!"
"This is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me." Zora whispered. "I don't even know...is she squeezing fresh oranges?"
"Uh, looks like it."
Dean leaned out of his seat to watch his favorite flight attendant in the galley. She had a whole basket full of beautiful fruit and it wasn't the first time she squeezed oranges while they were taxing down the runway. Just a second before the plane took off she delivered the drink to Zora and then disappeared to buckle herself in. Private planes really were the only way to go and though Dean did feel a teensy bit decadent about flying a relatively short distance, it was the holidays and he considered it a gift to himself.
"Do you always fly like this?"
"For the past six or so years. I used to be so scared of flying, but that was before I realized you could call and tell them you wanted McDonalds and they'd have it waiting when you got to the airport."
"You had them get you Mcdonalds?"
"Us." Dean said as he raised his glass. "Fifty piece chicken nugget."
"Ugh. What does Sam see in you?"
"My ass taste like whipped cream and strawberries."
Zora paused to consider it and then shrugged before clinking her glass with Dean's. Because she'd eventually have to drive she just took the smallest sip of her drink and then held it in her hands as the plane continued to climb. Truth be told, even on private planes Dean was still a teensy bit nervous, but that's only because taking off always make him tummy feel a little funny. He was fine though, just a little concerned about Zora.
"Are you scared of flying?"
"I'm a Marine, I'm not scared of anything."
"What's wrong with your face." Dean said as he pointed. "It's like a weird looking face."
"I guess I'm not used to the lifestyles of the rich and the famous. The last time I was on a plane I was squished between a fat man and some kind of goth."
"Ah, well then you should be prepared for Vermont."
"What about it?"
"The house is enormous, and by this time tomorrow it's going to look like Christmas exploded in it. Oh, but there's a special guest house for special guests. Are you staying?"
"I will for a few days. Sam said there's a bunch of places to go shopping. I wanna be home for Christmas though."
"Are your parents coming in?"
"No."
"You won't be alone, will you?" Dean asked. "You can stay for Christmas, we just don't want the help around when we open presents. Alex says he can stay because he's going to marry Michael, but I'm not sure I agree with it."
"I have plans with my friend for Christmas. She's not close with her family, my parents aren't coming in. We're going to camp out at my place, watch Christmas movies, eat cookie dough, chick stuff."
"Oh, man! Can I come?"
"No boys."
"Oh, man!"
Dean tried sighing dramatically and whining, but Zora pretty much completely ignored him. Sam never let him eat cookie dough and Christmas specials were easily the best kind of holiday special. It seemed like a pretty fun time to just hunker down at home for a few days. Dean actually felt just a little jealous because there was nothing easy about holidays with Sam. Still he made everything perfect for the kids and they loved their big fancy Christmas so Dean wasn't going to complain.
After the plane leveled off the stewardess reappeared almost immediately with a big bag of McDonalds. Zora seemed surprised that Dean wasn't kidding, but Sam was currently in another state and it was okay to cheat when he was over a hundred miles away. Somehow the bag was still warm, which Dean was sure had to be one of those secret stewardess tricks that he'd never find out about.
"Chicken nuggets! I have fifty, you can have...six."
"Not so much a fan of the chicken goo."
"Can I get you anything else, Ms. Wilson?"
"Uh..."
"She likes sandwiches." Dean said with his mouth full. "Club sandwich, I'll give her some fries."
"A sandwich?"
"Sure." Zora nodded. "Thank you, so much."
"My pleasure."
"Here." Dean said as he handed over a pack of fries. "If I eat two large fries Sam will know something's up."
"Is there a stocked kitchen up there?"
"Well, it's not like a grocery store. There's enough to make a sandwich and there are lots of snacks because the kids like snacks."
"You have barbeque sauce all over your face, literally everywhere."
"I miss Amy." Dean frowned. "You're no fun."
"She's one of your assorted baby mama's, right?"
"Just to the twins, Ollie, and half of the babies. Mikey, Buster, and the other half of Mary and Milo are Jenny's."
"So...Amy carried Mary and Milo, but they're Jenny's?"
"Technically."
"What the hell does that mean?"
Dean sighed again and then wiped off his face so he could explain the situation to Zora who seemed like she was taking copious amount of mental notes. It seemed like she knew where all the kids had come from, because she had been around for a while, but she wasn't so clear on why they Amy had carried Jenny's eggs and then why Jenny had then turned around and carried Buster herself. Dean didn't mind talking about it, but it made him feel awful for Jenny all over again.
"Jenny, at one point, a long time ago, had a problem. We weren't entirely comfortable with her carrying a baby for us so Amy did it."
"So why did she have Buster?"
"Because we couldn't keep asking Amy to put off having her own family."
"So Amy's kids are half siblings to your kids?"
"Just Wystan and the twins. The other ones she was just the oven."
"Do the kids...well, do the call Amy's kids their brother and sisters?"
"Oh, no." Dean said as he shook his head. "No, no, our family lives in our house. They understand that Amy is their mom and that she has other kids, but they're not like the rest of the kids...which is weird because Mikey considers Becca his half sister."
"Huh. Does Jenny want more kids?"
"Um..." Dean said as he looked down at his hands. "She did. She uh...She can't have any more. When Buster was born there were some complications and she can't have any more babies. She might adopt. We'll help her if she wants to do that. We take care of each other."
Zora smiled a little and nodded before looking down at her own hands. Dean didn't mind talking about the kids or even the stuff with Jenny, but it seemed odd that Zora was so inquisitive. She was normally so reserved and obviously intent on keeping their professional relationship professional, but things were a little strange. Dean had already been warned repeatedly by the worst husband and father ever to not pry into Zora's private life, but he wasn't much for following rules.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I just...I was talking to Sam about having kids and I don't know if I want any."
"So people don't."
"I'm not sure I can anyway." Zora shrugged. "I saw a doctor after I stopped working for the police and he thought there might be trouble."
"I'm sorry."
"No, I don't even think I want kids."
"If you do..." Dean said. "You can always have them, even if you don't have them. Plenty of kids need homes."
"That's very true."
"Don't let Sam pressure you into having fourteen kids. He did that to me and now it's been ten years since I got more than five hours of sleep."
"Funny, he told a different story."
"He's a liar." Dean said. "And I can't believe you let him overpower you and kidnap the kids. You knew I forbid Christmas in Vermont."
"I was going to say something, but then I saw how excited the kids were. What kind of super jerk would I be if I stood in the way of that."
Dean rolled his pretty green eyes as hard as he could, which made Zora laugh and roll her eyes right back. There was nothing he could do about Christmas in Vermont now, since it was going to happen whether he wanted it to or not. He couldn't do anything about Zora wanting and maybe not being able to have kids either, so he changed the subject, she ate her sandwich, and by the time they were ready to land Dean was sure she was going to have a fantastic time in Vermont.
Sam was exhausted. Actually he had passed exhaustion a while ago and now he was just completely worn out, miserable, and feeling incredibly guilty. He didn't feel guilty about absconding with the kids, because they were his kids too and he could do whatever the hell he wanted with them, including leaving them at the fire station if he so chose. He actually thought about doing that with a certain red headed menace who was going to remain nameless, but the urge passed.
Sam was feeling guilty because on the five hour drive up he realized just how badly he took Dean for granted. Dean could drive for ten hours and juggle all the kids at once, and it had to be freaking exhausting. They were all so loud in the car, which was just because they were excited about running away to Vermont, but Sam had a very hard time not telling them to all pipe down. Dean wouldn't have done that, he would have yelled right along with them. Sam hadn't shared their enthusiasm, but that was mostly because he drove for about an hour through an absolutely terrifying snowstorm, again, something Dean would have handled flawlessly.
When they finally got about an hour away from the house Sam took a moment to place a few calls, while the kids played the quiet game. Milo refused to play, but he was quietly talking to himself about elves and mooses and mices. Sam didn't really know what was going on but it was sweet. The first call Sam made was to the local grocery store. He told them he was coming in and wouldn't be able to actually shop. They were more than happy to put together everything he needed for the next day or so until he could make it back without all the kids.
The next call was for dinner. There was a fabulous little pizza place about fifteen minutes from the house, and Sam had been craving it for months. He ordered a cheese pizza for Mikey and then one with everything for everyone else. He actually stopped and picked up the pizzas first and then swung by the store before his next to last stop. For the last two hours the kids had all been going on and on about hot chocolate, so Sam promised to stop and get them some to have after dinner. Normally when he went to coffee places Sam was ordering for himself and Dean and usually that came free of charge because he was someone, but a small coffee and six hot chocolates wasn't cheap. Still Sam would have paid ten times as much to get the kids to stop talking about it. Mikey held all the drinks as they finally closed in on the house and as soon as the car was in park everyone who wasn't strapped down flew out of the car at once.
"Hey!" Sam yelled. "Ethan, unbuckle Mary and Milo, Mikey, leave the cocoa and take the pizzas."
"You promise!" Ollie yelled back. "I need my cocoa."
"It's a thousand degrees. It'll be fine while I get your brother inside. Everyone into the kitchen, there are paper plates in the pantry."
"Paper plates." Mikey frowned. "What are we? Cavemen?"
"Do you want to do dishes?"
"I'll do them daddy." Evan added before coughing. "Is it super hot out here?"
"You're burning up...shit. Okay, let's do one thing at a time."
Sam unbuckled Mary and Milo and he immediately took off running, but luckily he was a total spaz and Ethan caught up with him pretty quickly. Sam grabbed Buster and then flipped through his keys looking for the right one while Ollie corralled the assorted animals. Sam couldn't wait to get inside and kick off his shoes and devour like half a pizza. Of course he changed his mind very quickly once he was inside, where it was the exact same temperature as it was outside, which was cold as fucking fuck. Sam could actually see his breath hanging in the air and all the kids looked a little concerned. Dean would have remembered that the heat wouldn't be on in the house, but Sam of course didn't think that far ahead.
"Daddy!" Ollie cried. "Buster's dead!"
"He is not dead."
"He's turning blue!"
"Oooh." Ethan said as he shook his head. "If you don't bring Buster back to life before daddy gets here he's going to be so upset with you!"
"He's not dead!"
Just to be on the safe side Sam bundled Buster up a little tighter and made sure he was still breathing. He certainly wasn't blue and he was dressed very warm. He was just fine, but he was also fast asleep. The other kids were very much awake and very uncomfortable in the frigid house. Sam briefly thought about rummaging through the bags he packed to find their coats, but then he had a stroke of utter brilliance, the kind Dean usually had.
"Family room picnic!" Sam smiled. "Come on, bring everything in the family room. Ethan, shut the door for me."
"Daddy, it's so cold."
"Is it?" Sam asked Ethan. "I hadn't noticed. Leave this up to super daddy."
"Is he here?" Ollie asked as he ran to the window. "Where do you see him! Oh, he's so handsome!"
"Me! I meant me!"
"Oh...you."
"Yeah, me! Watch me handle this."
Sam actually did handle the situation quite expertly because he plopped the kids down around the coffee table in the family room, and flicking a switch to get the fireplace going. After tossing on a few of those very handy paper logs the fire was roaring and in an hour or maybe two the rest of the house would be warmed by the heater. It was pretty cold though so if it was still chilly when it was time for bed Sam was just going to let everyone camp out in the master bedroom around that fireplace, which might be nice.
"Okay." Sam said after shoving an entire slice of pizza in his mouth. "Mikey, watch everyone around the fire...especially that one."
"Daddy, can I take a nap in a fire?"
"No, you may not."
"Why?" Milo asked. "I want to."
"You'll burn your hair off."
"Oh, no!"
"I'm going to unpack the car and crank up the heater."
"I can help you, daddy." Evan said as he went to stand up. "I'll get the groceries."
"I can handle them, but thank you. "
Sam put his hand against Evan's forehead and was not at all happy with how warm he felt. Mikey and Ollie were just kind of sniffly still, but Evan was clearly running a fever. After he ate and before his cocoa Sam was going to have to take his temperature and maybe give him something before making sure he got a good night's rest. He was a tough little guy and he'd be fine, but Dean was going to blow a gasket when he realized Evan arrived sicker than he had left.
After grabbing a big thick coat out of the closet in the entryway Sam went back out into the cold, but which seemed to have gotten worse in the last five minutes. The snow was really coming down hard and the wind was so strong that Sam actually got knocked sideways a little. Luckily he was heavy and strong and no punk ass wind was going to take him down.
On the first trip Sam brought in half the bags and then the rest. On the third trip he brought in two huge boxes filled with groceries and on the fourth and final trip he went back for the cocoa. There were some more boxes in the back of the car, but those were Christmas presents and they were staying where they were until the sun came out. Sam still had so much stuff to do and presents to buy and make, but he wasn't worried because he was at his Christmas house and his holiday cheer had gone up twentyfold.
In the kitchen Sam put away all the cold groceries and left everything else on the counter. The pantry was pretty bare and what was left would probably have to be tossed since it had been so long since they were last in Vermont. That was another project for tomorrow, one that Sam wasn't even going to worry about until he got some sleep and the feeling returned to his hands and toes.
"Daddy, I got the thermometer."
"Oh." Sam said as he scooped Evan up and put him on the counter. "Tell me how you feel."
"Sleepy and hot."
"Sounds like you need to sleep in the big bed with me and daddy."
"Is he going to be here soon?"
"Probably. He'll be here when you wake up for sure."
"Okay. He'll get lonely without us because he...."
"So dumb!" Milo said as he stormed into the kitchen. "It's dumb and mean and stupid and dumb! I hate it!"
"What the hell..."
"Punish."
Milo had about seven slices of pizza smeared all over his face and he was about to press it into the corner of the kitchen. Sam was worried enough about pizza in the family room, he wasn't about to scrub tomato sauce off the wall. He managed to stop Milo just a second before he began to serve his time in the corner, but it did little to make him less pissed off. His face was all scrunched up and angry and though it was possibly the cutest thing ever, Sam tried not to laugh.
"What happened?"
"Wanna put Buster in the fire."
"Why?"
"Keep 'em warm."
"That would kill him." Sam said calmly. "If you put anything in a fire it'll die."
"Not forever!"
"For long enough. Come wipe your face off and then you sit at the table and think about how much you love your brother."
"Not Mikey!"
"You love him too even if he punished you."
"Pft."
"Daddy, it says 101.8."
Evan, who always managed to take care of himself, had taken his own temperature like a big boy. Sam didn't like that number at all, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It wasn't anything Sam couldn't handle, so he got Evan some Tylenol, decided on a nice lukewarm bath before bed, and give him a kiss right in the middle of the forehead. That made Evan feel better, but Milo immediately began to cry because everyone hated him and no one loved him because his hair was so beautiful. Sam gave him a kiss too and then got him to pipe down with the cocoa.
Back in the family room everything was okay and no one was on fire. The upholstery also seemed unscathed, but the pizzas had been pretty much destroyed. Sam had no idea who had taken two bites out of almost every slice, but he was willing to bet it was Milo, who had most likely been trying to claim them all as his own. He looked a little guilty when Sam inspected the pizza and then he tried his best to hide behind his little cup of cocoa.
"Okay." Sam said as he sat down and grabbed a half eaten slice of pizza. "This is fine, didn't want my own slice."
"Daddy, I told..."
"You shh, Mikey!" Milo hissed. "Shh, no one ask things. Go be a nerd!"
"Is that nice?" Sam asked. "Calling your brother a nerd?"
"Daddy do it."
"Well, that's only because he is a nerd."
"Hey!"
"I'm joking." Sam laughed. "Okay, tonight we're all going to sleep in me and daddy's room while the rest of the house heats up. He'll be here soon and tomorrow I'll make us waffles. Then I'm going shopping and pretending all of you don't exist for like three whole hours."
"Well then I'm going to pretend that you don't exist." Ethan said before he scoffed. "And that daddy is my daddy and that I'll just grow up short and that'll be fine."
"Ethan, no!" Evan cried. "You know he can't dance because he's too short."
"Enough about daddy." Ollie said as he slammed his hand down on the coffee table. "Is perfect in everyway!"
"Agreed." Sam sighed. "I wish I didn't have to kidnap you guys and take you across state lines to get my way."
"Daddy should know better." Mary said with a sympathetic nod. "Why fight it? We are a princesses."
"That's true. Come give daddy a kiss."
Mary was picking at the same piece of pizza she had started with, but she quickly abandoned it to give Sam a smooch right on the lips. Dealing with the kids and driving all the way to Vermont on his own hadn't been easy, in fact it was downright difficult, but Sam knew he had done the right thing. While they finished eating everyone said what they wanted to do and the tree they wanted to get and Evan couldn't wait to get better so they could start baking. It was going to be their most wonderful Christmas yet, their first Christmas with Buster, who had somehow managed to survive the perilous journey to Vermont through the grace of our lord Gabe.
After everyone had eaten their fill and downed their cooled cocoa Sam quickly cleaned up and then ushered everyone upstairs. It wasn't horribly late, but it was late enough to skip baths for almost everyone. Sam let Mikey get everyone changed into their pajamas while he gave Evan a warmish kind of cool bath. Luckily the bathroom had it's own heater so it was nice and warm in there for him and he did seem a lot more comfortable after his bath. Sam kind of wanted one too, but he was ready to lie in bed and relax.
It took thirty minutes for everyone to fall asleep. They were scattered all over the bed with only the smallest little bit of space for Dean. Evan was right next to Sam and his forehead didn't feel quite as warm as it had earlier. Hopefully after a good night's sleep he was going to wake up and feel good as new. Sam was looking forward to getting some sleep as well, but as soon as he decided to burrow under the covers and close his eyes he heard tiny peep noises coming from the side of the bed. It figured that as soon as everyone else was asleep, Buster would decided it was time for peeps, poops, and something to eat.
Sam quickly changed his diaper and made him a bottle even quicker than that. He was back in bed in about ten minutes and Buster was happily sucking away at his late dinner. He wasn't going to stay awake for long, Sam could see it in his eyes, but he did enjoy some time alone with his sweet baby, while the rest of the house was so quiet and still. It was completely silent except for the quiet crackle of the fire, and it stayed absolutely peaceful for a record nine minutes before the bedroom doors swung open and a wild beast barged in.
"What the hell!" Sam whispered. "How'd you get here so fast?"
"I flew." Dean said as he narrowed his eyes. "You stole my baby."
"What the fuck is wrong with your hair?"
"Ignore that!"
Dean looked absolutely ridiculous. He was dressed like a frat boy who just sent some sorority slut on a walk of shame and his hair was sticking up in every which way possible. The brutal winter wind had really done a number on it and Sam could just barely see the glistening of some snow. Bitch looked crazy as hell, but Sam sure was glad to see him.
"Don't disturb the kids."
"Me?" Dean asked. "You took our sick kids and shoved them in a confined space for five hours, and please Jesus tell me you didn't drive through this storm."
"I know how to drive."
"Like an Asian woman."
"Well, someone's not getting a handjob...or a baby."
"You're giving me that baby." Dean said as he approached the side of the bed. "And some sugar."
"What a surprise, you call me an Asian woman and then you want a kiss. Old habits die hard."
"Shut your dick holster."
Even though Buster was still so young and so little, he was very observant. As soon as Dean got closer he started to wiggle and squirm. Sam just thought he was dancing at first, but then it seemed like he was making a very obvious attempt to get closer to Dean. He even lost interest in his bottle and began to smile and coo as Sam handed him over. It was just about the cutest thing ever, and Sam knew exactly how Buster felt.
"Hello, big boy!" Dean smiled. "Oh, my goodness! Did you go on a big trip? Were you a good baby?"
"He was the best baby. Everyone else...eh."
"Not my princess."
"Oh, she was fine, but all those other ones, I can't remember all their names...I don't know how you do it."
"What does that mean?" Dean asked as he sat down. "Do what?"
"You are never not engaged with them, from the moment they wake up until you tuck them into bed. They never stop talking, they have a thousand questions, they always seem to need something, a Kleenex, to stop and kick a deer, hot freaking cocoa."
"They're always like that."
"Yeah, but you're always around to deal with half of it. Flying solo is exhausting."
"You know if you had told me how much coming here meant to you I wouldn't have made such a big deal about it."
"It doesn't matter to me where we are as long as we're together. I came here for them. They're so excited."
"I know, I was just worried about him."
"He's fine." Sam said as he pushed back Buster's hair. "He was perfect. He was right next to Mikey the whole ride up, not a problem."
"What about the storm?"
"Slightly nerve wracking, but it wasn't that bad."
Dean sighed a little and then reached over to put his hand against Evan's forehead. He immediately looked worried, and proceeded to go from kid to kid seeing how warm they were. Everyone else said they were doing fine, but Evan was still fighting it. Sam knew he was tempting fate by sticking healthy kids in the car with sick kids, but colds didn't last that long and even Evan said he was feeling better after his bath.
"Did you give him something?"
"Tylenol, gave him a bath, come on, get in bed."
"It's freaking cold in this house, Sammy." Dean said as he got under the covers. "The thermostat said it was 55."
"It was 42 when we got here."
"Jesus."
"It's toasty in here though. Oh, did you bring Zora?"
"Yeah, I got her set up in the family room. She was going to take a shower."
"She's going to sleep on the sofa?"
"At least until it warms up. I told her to just take whatever room she wanted and we'll get her set up in the carriage house tomorrow."
"No." Sam said as she shook his head. "She stays here with us. When her friend comes they can stay out there if they want."
"Do...can we...is it okay to use the term tranny?"
"Uh...Not unless you want them calling you a faggot!"
"Shh!"
"Seriously, it's never okay to say that."
"I know that." Dean said as he rolled his eyes. "She's a chick with a di..."
"Dean!"
"Dude with boobs?"
"Oh, my god." Sam said as he shook his head. "You are hopeless."
"I'm joking! She told me all about her, all about the proper pronouns, what they do with the penis and..."
"What...what do they do with the penis?"
"They turn it into a flower."
"Huh. I can't believe she told you about her."
"I didn't give her much choice. Oh, you done with your bottle, baby? You're sleeping with me tonight."
Buster burped rather loudly and then curled down against Dean's chest, which was the best spot in the world to sleep. He was out like a light in a second, and Sam wasn't going to be far behind. He was actually a little shocked that Zora had been so forthcoming with Dean, who wasn't exactly the most understanding person in the world. Still, he was a great man, a great friend, and he was always endlessly supportive, even if there was something he didn't understand, and he sure as hell didn't understand Melody and Zora.
"So...She's gay?"
"Zora?" Sam asked. "I think she's just with a woman right now."
"But she's a woman on the outside and feels like a woman in her head, but she's..."
"She's a woman." Sam shrugged. "Who was born a biological man."
"Sammy, what if she comes up in here looking like that big Kardashian?"
"You're worried about the kids?"
"Well, Ethan."
"It'll be fine. Zora is important to us, yes?"
"Yeah she's great."
"And Melody is important to her. If the kids have questions we'll answer them, like we always do."
"I would die if any of them wanted to be girls."
"What about Mary?"
"Please, she's two and she's already completely over everyone always talking about their penis, she's never going to want one."
"Don't worry about it. You wouldn't die. You'd deal, we both would. That's what we do."
"Well, I still might take them elk hunting tomorrow."
"Good luck with that."
"Sugar. Come on."
Sam rolled his eyes and then gave Dean a big long goodnight kiss. There was no telling what was going to happen to the kids when they grew up. Hell, there was no way to know what was going to happen tomorrow. All that mattered to Sam, all that mattered to Dean, was that they grew up safe, healthy, and loved beyond reason. If they had that it didn't really matter what any of them did with their wieners when they were grown up.
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs Jared/Jensen,
Rating :R
Words10,000/3,638,900
Warnings: Wincest
Summary: When Dean gets sick with a cold Sam take the opportunity to do Christmas right.
Notes:: AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
It was easy to pretend to be perfect all the time. Sam was actually sort of a master at it. He lost his cool sometimes, but that was in private and on more than one occasion he had locked himself in his china closet and quietly sobbed over whatever happened to be bothering him. He always tried his best to stay calm and composed because in his family, in his house, that was the only way to survive. He couldn't show any weakness in front of the kids because they, or really just Ethan, would use that to his advantage.
Survival was very important to Sam and it didn't start and stop with putting up a strong façade twenty-four hours a day, he had other rules as well. He knew to never allow himself to be proven wrong in front of the kids or Dean. He knew that he had to set the example he wanted the kids to follow and if that meant scrubbing the toilets every afternoon he was going to do it because one day the kids would do it and he wouldn't have to anymore. The number one most important rule for survival, was that under no circumstances, no matter how dire the situation seemed was he going to get within ten feet of Dean when he was sick. It wasn't about germs or even getting himself sick, Sam just wasn't that stupid.
"Dad! Help!"
"Oh, no." Sam said as he backed away. "I told you not to come up here. You're a stupid ginger."
"You're as mean as you are tall!"
"And free as a bird." Sam said as he flapped his arms around the room. "Free as a bird!"
"You help me right now!"
Dean snorted, snored, sneezed a little, and then drew Michael closer into a death grip. Michael had started out as the little spoon, like a damned fool, and now he was wrapped in Dean's arms and legs. Dean was practically on top of him and Michael could barely move his head back and forth let alone the rest of his body. The best part was that Dean wasn't just sleeping, he was passed the fuck out, basically dead to the world and Sam knew it would be at least an hour or two before he released his kung fu grip.
"He's breathing so hot on my neck." Michael frowned. "Imma git sick."
"Git sick?"
"I will call grandpa!"
"That same cold took him down six hours ago. Mom said he passed out in the bathtub with a bottle of whiskey."
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Just lay there. It's not the first time some old man has pressed his boner into your back."
"He ain't got no boner!"
"Yet." Sam grinned. "It's like the sunrise, it always happens whether you want it to or not. Now, I have things to do and you have to stay here because you didn't listen when I warned you to keep your distance."
Michael tried to bargain and squirm, but Sam walked out of the bedroom without helping him. He deserved to be punished for not listening and Sam absolutely was not going to feel bad about it. Dean might get a little sickly sleep wood, but Michael slept next to Alex every night so Sam was sure he could handle it gracefully and maybe eventually he'd wiggle out and rejoin the rest of the family, at least the part that wasn't in quarantine.
When Sam got to the living room he saw that his dividing lines were still firmly in place. On one side was Mikey, Evan, and Ollie all lumped together under three or four blankets. There were about a million tissues on the floor and Ollie had brought ten or so stuffed animals from his room to help him convalesce. Evan had Spotty near his feet keeping him warm and Mikey was content with a thick scarf and a thicker book.
On the other side of the living room, Mary, Milo, and Ethan were camped out without any blankets or tissues. They did have Oinkers on their side, but that was only because Ollie knew all about the swine flu and he didn't want his sweet baby pig getting sick. Milo didn't seem to care about the health status of anyone in the house, but Ethan certainly did and he was pissed off.
"Daddy? Can I kiss Evan like you kiss daddy?"
"Lovingly? When he's better."
"No, like sexy teens with the tongues and hair pulling and being werewolves."
"You want to make out with your brother?" Sam asked. "Normally I'd support you completely, but you are not making yourself sick on purpose."
"I wasn't gonna!"
"Daddy." Mikey said hoarsely. "I went to pee and when I came back he was trying to get Evan to sneeze in his throat."
"I didn't do it daddy."
"Good boy." Sam smiled. "Ethan, you're gross."
"Oh, whatever, daddy says you touch his butt all the time."
"Not when he's sick I don't!"
"Daddy, my booboo."
When Sam looked over Milo was pouting with his lip sticking out about six feet from his face. He had somehow made his big blue eyes even bigger and bluer and they were welled up with the saddest fake tears. He was pointing at his knee where he had the tiniest little scrape from falling down the stairs not a half hour ago. He wasn't hurt because he fell down the stairs at least twice a week on account of being a spaz, but his little scrape required lots of kisses, which Sam gladly delivered before leaving Mikey in charge of maintaining the quarantine.
In the kitchen Sam was going to check on his other sweet baby, who thankfully didn't seem to be getting sick, but he did look disturbed, uncomfortable, and more than a little suspicious. When Sam had gone to check on Dean he left Zora in charge of Buster, who had been sleeping. He was wide awake now and Zora was holding him like he was a ticking time bomb about to explode. They were both staring at each other and he seemed less than pleased that she was sort of swinging him back and forth like a child might do with a cat.
"Who told you to touch my baby?" Sam asked. "You're supposed to be watching the jam so it doesn't overcook."
"Oh, yeah…I don't care about that. He started making all these noises and I didn't want the kids in here around that seventy-five pound pot of molten fruit and sugar."
"Don't hold him like that. Hold him against your chest."
"What if he gets fresh with me?"
"He's a Winchester, consider it your greatest achievement as a human being."
Zora was a natural caregiver, at least with anyone over four, anyone who could mostly take care of themselves. She had become fast friends with Mikey and the twins, and she could even handle Ollie in small controlled bursts, but he was about as young as she would go. Milo was just a jerk and made her life a living hell whenever he had the chance. Mary loved her and Zora liked her as well, but she seemed very concerned about doing something wrong with such a young child. All that said she was positively petrified of Buster. Sam wasn't sure if it was because he was so very tiny, or if Dean had just convinced her that he was close to death, Zora was very cautious around him. Sam was actually a little surprised that she had picked him up, but dealing with him did seem like it might be easier than dealing with all the kids and the huge pot of jam.
"This isn't done yet." Sam said as he inspected the pot. "There you go. Look at you holding a baby!"
"He's got his hand on my boob. Oh, God, I can't handle babies."
"Don't you want kids eventually?" Sam asked. "You should have at least eight. Once you have eight it gets super easy."
"Not right now. Some women don't want kids, it's perfectly normal. I don't know if I ever want kids, not these babies, it's just what some people want!"
"Whoa…calm down, I was just asking a question."
Zora was normally pretty cool and collected and she had gotten really comfortable around everyone. Sam had never seen her get so agitated so quickly before. Dean had undoubtedly asked her if she wanted kids at least thirty times, and maybe that was too much. Sam was going to have to ask him to chill the fuck out because Zora was clearly annoyed by the question. She actually looked a little upset so Sam was all prepared to drop it, but then Zora sighed heavily and patted Buster on his butt like she had done it a thousand times.
"I started seeing someone."
"Oooh, girl!" Sam whispered. "No, you didn't not even."
"Seeing or like talking to…seeing I guess. Someone I've been talking to for a while…it's new and things that aren't so important to one person might be more important to another person."
"So this…person…wants kids in the future?"
Sam was very careful to not use any gender specific pronoun. That was just good manners, but he was especially careful around Zora because he had no idea if she had a preference. She seemed like the kind of woman who fell in love with a person and didn't really care much what was on the outside. That's what Sam had assumed, and he was just about to find out how incredibly true it was.
"Melody."
"Melody." Sam smiled. "That's a mermaid name!"
"I guess?"
"She should come over for dinner one night, you know once you're sure you're seeing and not just talking to her, I'll cook something fantastic and put the kids in the basement with a pizza so Ethan doesn't ask anything ridiculous. It'll be fab…"
"She's trans."
"Hmm?" Sam said as he leaned forward. "She's what?"
"Transgender." Zora said quite clearly. "Trans."
Sam moved back to where he had been standing and then took what he knew was the world's longest and most uncomfortable pause. He has no idea how long it really was, but it seemed like ages based solely upon on how many times Zora blinked and her long, thick, black eyelashes fluttered. Sam really had no prejudices against anyone, except the Polish, and that was only because they had wronged him, but he also had absolutely no experience with the transgender people.
In an instant Sam felt terrible about all the advocacy he had done in his career because he had mostly focused on gay rights, which were his rights. He supported his entire community, but he had never really given much thought to anyone besides gay men and lesbian women. It was a shame, but it was also something he could rectify in the future so he didn't dwell on it any longer. It was a good thing too, because he was pretty sure he hadn't said anything for about forty-five minutes.
"Fabulous!"
"Excuse me?"
"That's wonderful." Sam smiled. "Everyone deserves someone special."
"You literally didn't say anything for like three minutes."
"I'm sorry, I was making a mental list of everything Dean is going to ask me and wondering how I'm going to explain to him that sometimes people don't want a penis. He loves his penis."
"I know, he tells me all the time."
"What does she do?"
"She's a lawyer, works in the city, lives here."
"What kind of lawyer?"
"Corporate."
"Ooh, you'll be popping tags all over town."
"Do something with that jam." Zora sighed. "It's making me nervous."
"Oh, right."
While Sam tended to his jam, Zora tended to Buster and seemed to relax quite a bit because she began to talk very openly about her private life for really the first time. She had met Melody a few years back before she had fully transitioned and was simply living as a woman. They became fast friends and Zora had always assumed that was all they ever would be. Even after Melody had completed all her therapy, counseling, and surgery Zora still just thought they were really good friends. That changed a few months ago and it was all very new, but Zora was feeling like it might continue to get more serious.
She never explicitly stated when they became more than friends, but based on what she didn't say Sam assumed it was shortly after Zora stopped working for the NYPD. It made perfect sense that something would blossom between two friends after a traumatic experience. Melody had probably been there for her, like best friends, were supposed to be and eventually it became something more, something that really seemed to make Zora happy.
"So…" Sam said as he ladled the jam into jars. "Did she identify as gay before she decided to transition?"
"No."
"Oh…that's…"
"Unusual?" Zora laughed quietly. "Growing up she always dated girls and identified as straight."
"As a man. What about now?"
"Now there's me...and we're really good friends, and...I don't know, I'm not sure there's a label for it, you know?"
"Yeah."
"I've been with guys before, I've been really...satisfied with guys."
"Oh, you're preaching to the choir."
"But there was a girl before Melody, if it doesn't work out there might be another girl or maybe a guy."
Zora seemed hesitant to use to use the word "Bisexual" and Sam completely understood why. Though he had been with a woman, Sam sure as hell wasn't going to label himself as anything other than gay. Auden also refused to label himself bisexual, citing that the label had been ruined by college girls who wanted to piss off daddy. Sam wasn't so sure about that, but it seemed like a lot of people didn't want to put a name on it and that was fine. Gay, straight, both depending on the other person, it didn't seem to really matter as long as two people liked each other.
"You know, it was a very long time before big daddy upstairs identified as gay."
"Really?" Zora asked. "Dean strikes me as super gay, gayer than you even with the canning and pickling and whatever the hell you're always doing in here."
"Really?" Sam beamed. "That is so sweet!"
"Sure..."
"Anyway, he's never been with another guy, I don't know that he would either."
"What if something happened to you?"
"Oh, The Angels would just bring me back."
"Excuse me?"
"Uh..." Sam said before awkwardly clearing his throat. "What I meant was...well, he'd probably be done with dating and stuff."
"What if you died tomorrow?"
"Oh, no, I mean if I died tomorrow, he wouldn't date or marry anyone else."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah." Sam sighed. "Thank Gabe I'm not going anywhere!"
"Who's Gabe?"
Sam laughed awkwardly again and then decided to star canning his jam so he'd quit talking. Thinking about dying was bad enough, but knowing Dean would never move on was just so much worse. Sam thought if anything happened to Dean then maybe, one day, after the kids were all grown up, he might be open to it, but the idea of sharing a life with someone else just seemed weird. Luckily for all involved Sam had already made plans to die when he was very old, just seconds after Dean did. That meant Dean would never have to be alone, and Sam would only be the head of the family for a minute at the most.
"Anyway, we'll have dinner. Whenever you want to bring her over."
"Thanks, Sam."
"No problem. I can't wait to meet her."
"Maybe after the holidays when I assume your Christmas crazies will calm down."
"Christmas crazies?" Sam asked. "What does that mean exactly?"
"Well..."
Zora gestured to the counter in from of here where they were about sixty jars that needed to be filled with jam. Just last week she had been around when Sam was liquoring up all the fruit cakes he had already made and Dean had begrudgingly given her a very in-depth tour of his pottery stuff including all the plates he had thrown. Sam already had about fifteen sets all beautifully boxed and wrapped and they were just perfect. Of course the dishes were for close friends, the baskets Sam was making were for everyone else.
Though she didn't ask, Sam still went into his china closet and grabbed one of the baskets he had specially ordered during the summer when they found a fantastic artisan in South Carolina. The man didn't think he could fill such a large order, but then just a week ago forty huge dark wicket baskets arrived in a big brown truck. All Sam had to do was fill them all and then the courier service would cart them all over town and in the city.
"See, each basket is getting a jam, made from the cherries we picked at the end of summer, one of the fruit cakes, a few blocks of cheese, an orchid, my favorite new fern, and a little box of cookies I still have to make."
"Are...are you serious?"
"Of course. It looks like a lot of work, but I started in January."
"January like twelve months ago?"
"Twenty-four." Sam smiled. "I wanted to grow all the orchids myself. What's your favorite fern?"
"I uh...people don't have favorite ferns!"
"Of course they do!"
"Crazy people maybe." Zora said under her breath. "Crazy gay Martha Stewart people."
"Well, someone's only getting one fruit cake."
"I don't want any fruit cake. They're disgusting."
"Oh, hell no!"
Just to prove a very valid point, the point being that fruitcake was delicious, Sam stopped his jam canning and went into the china closet again. The fruitcakes were each wrapped in a linen tea towel and stored in really gorgeous reproduction baking tins. Sam had done the math and he had five extra, which was perfect because Dean usually ate one all by himself. Even though they needed one more dousing of liquor Sam thought it might be okay to sample a piece early, so he picked one up, brought it into the kitchen and lovingly unwrapped it.
Zora was completely unimpressed with the really stunning presentation and she didn't seem to care one bit when Sam showed off all the thick and gooey dried fruits, which he had dried himself, that were crammed into the thin half inch slice he plated up. He cut himself a piece too and loved the thick scent of sugar and expensive dark rum. It smelled like Christmas and it tasted even better.
"Damn, that's a fine fruitcake."
"Ugh." Zora moaned. "I hate myself, it's the most amazing thing I've ever eaten."
"Mmhmm!" Sam said smugly. "Would you like a cup of coffee to go with it?"
"Yes, please."
"Do you apologize for calling me a gay Martha Stewart?"
"Absolutely not."
"Eh." Sam shrugged. "That's fair."
Sam made Zora and himself a very nice cup of coffee and while he worked on the jam, she had two more slices of fruit cake and then accepted a book on ferns from the living room so she could pick out her favorite. She was really fitting in well with the family, and she agreed that hanging out with Sam sure as hell beat dealing with Dean.
Being sick sucked more ass than Dean normally did. You did gross things, you felt gross, and worst of all you looked gross. Dean looked absolutely hideous, but he thought maybe that's because he had been staring at himself in the bathroom mirror for ten minutes trying to find the will to live. His hair was dirty from sweating, it was a mess from tossing and turning, his skin was all shiny and clammy, and his eyes were watery and red. He was still a total nine, but Dean was used to being a solid ten and it really sucked.
Since he was so sick and near death Dean cried out for help several times. He couldn't yell too loud because he was so tired, but he did mew several times in a row in the hopes that Sam would hear him, take a shower with him, jerk him off maybe, and then tuck him back into bed. After about five minutes of whimpering and whining Dean gave up and decided he'd just have to shower by himself. He still wanted to jerk off, but without Sam there to jerk off on it didn't seem as much fun.
After stripping down and admiring himself in the mirror Dean got into the steaming hot shower all by himself. It was lonely in there, but the hot water was doing wonders. Just getting clean always made him feel better, and the steam sort of cleared his head out some. After ten minutes of soaping up, rinsing off, and scrubbing his hair Dean actually felt almost normal. He was still on the brink of death and he certainly needed to be jerked off as soon as possible, but he felt a little bit better, at least well enough to maybe have some toast and some of Sam's fancy tea.
Once he got out of the shower Dean toweled off and then went into the closet to find his comfiest of comfy clothes. He knew he wasn't going to be out of bed for long so he pulled on a pair of very old and worn sweatpants, some thick socks, one of Sam's t-shirts, which he swam in, and a Harvard sweatshirt Michael had given him. It wasn't the greatest look in the world, but Dean sure was comfy and it was a good getting jerked off outfit.
When Dean made it halfway down the stairs he very quickly forgot about what he was going to shoot all over Sam's handsome face, because something was wrong. The house was quiet, way too quiet. It was almost six which was after dinner, but before bedtime. The kids weren't all feeling great so Dean knew they weren't at John's and even if they had been Sam would have kept Buster at home. They would have made a little bit of noise, but there was nothing, not a single peep, until Dean heard a mug clink against the counter, all the way in the kitchen.
Because it had been so long since he got hugs and kisses Dean rushed down the stairs ready to get both from Sam, but he stopped short before he even got to the landing. From where he was standing he had a view of the dining room and the tables, the chairs, and the floor were covered in huge baskets filled with a bunch of shit. Sam's crazy was in full effect, but it seemed very strange that the baskets were already out and they seemed to be mostly done. Upon closer inspection Dean saw little cards and address labels attached to each one, and the spread was really nice. The orchids were beautiful, the fruitcakes were perfectly packaged, and the ruby red cherry jam was still warm to the touch.
"Hey, sleeping beauty."
"Oh, shit!" Dean yelled as he turned around. "You scared me!"
"I'm sorry." Zora said as she picked up her coffee mug. "I thought you were never going to wake up."
"Where is everyone? Where's Sammy?"
"Oh, he's gone." Zora said before picking up an envelope. "He left you this letter."
"Ugh, where did he go? Where are the kids?"
"I think it's in the letter. Shall I read it?"
"It's probably private." Dean said as he walked into the kitchen. "Probably sexy...go ahead."
"Fabulous, this is going to be fabulous."
Dean was immediately suspicious of Zora, but he was too tired and hungry to care. There wasn't anything on the stove for him to eat and it didn't look like Sam had cooked anything either. That was when Dean was sure that Sam had taken the kids out to eat somewhere, but then even that seemed a little farfetched. He couldn't handle all the kids on his own, he was just a regular dad, not a super dad.
"Dearest husband..."
"Oh, Jesus!" Dean cried. "He left me for Auden, didn't he? Oh, God, I knew this was going to happen. I knew I should have killed that sexy southern bastard when I had the chance!"
"'Dearest husband.'" Zora continued. "'If you're reading this it means I'm already gone and Auden has adopted the kids. We've changed Buster's name to Rutherford and I'm now a strict bottom and super into fisting, giving and receiving.'"
"Wow, that's a kick in the nuts."
"'Lol, jk, omg.'"
"Did he really write that?"
"Yeah, he did. 'Anyway, I'm sorry I'm not there to jerk you off, but I have a very good reason. You'll have to forgive me, but I talked it over with the kids and we decided as a family that you're fucking ridiculous and short.'"
"What the hell!"
"'So I quickly finished the baskets, except for the cookies, packed bags for the kids, and for you, don't worry, and we've all gone to Vermont to celebrate Christmas.'"
"The hell he is!"
"'It should be apparent by now that I've taken your baby. Should he survive the perilous journey we should be at the house around seven. If he perishes, I'll jerk you off twice and let you finish wherever you want.'"
"That son of a bitch!" Dean yelled. "And fyi, I always finish wherever I want."
"Didn't ask, don't care."
"Oh, well, screw you then."
"'My trusty employee Zora has kindly offered to drive you to Vermont in exchange for fruit cake. Please don't dawdle, I wanna....'"
"He wants to what?"
"Oh, God." Zora sighed. "'Eat yo' dick. xoxo Sam Matherne.' Who the hell is Sam Matherne?"
"That's that cocksucker Auden's last name. Damnit, I can't believe he kidnapped the kids!"
Dean was so pissed off he couldn't see straight, but at the same time he wasn't surprised at all. Fucking Sam always did whatever the hell he wanted to with little regard for anyone else. Three of the kids were sick, and if they were anything like Dean that meant every moment was agony for them. To force them into a car for five hours in the blistering cold was barbaric. Then there was the worst part, that absolutely unforgiveable part, Sam had taken Buster, who was probably so scared and confused and generally unwell.
"Okay." Zora smiled. "Sam packed everything except for your makeup and toiletries, so toss those in your purse and let's get going. I had a whole pot of coffee, I'm ready to drive."
"First of all it's skincare, and a Prada man bag, not a purse. Secondly, five hours in a car with you seems a little much."
"Sam said I had to drive you because the medicine you took makes you drowsy and also? You're short."
"We're not driving."
"Then how are we supposed to get there."
"Sometime I forget you're poor." Dean frowned. "Do you even know what Prada is? Ugh, you'll never be glamour."
"I'm not poor!"
"Well, you're about to feel poor as fuck."
Exactly thirty-two minutes later Dean was sitting in a very comfortable leather chair mixing cold medicine with Champagne while Zora sat across from him with a look of bewildered disbelief in her eyes. It took five fucking hours to drive to Vermont and Dean didn't have time for that, not when his kids were sick and his poor baby was missing him terribly. Driving places were for people who couldn't afford better, and Dean could afford better, or rather Sam could since his dumbass was paying the black card bill next month.
"How..." Zora said before she paused. "How did we get here?"
"You drove us here."
"I mean on this plane. You two just have a plane waiting around 24/7."
"Most people do."
"No, they don't!"
"Champagne, Ms. Wilson?" The attendant asked. "Can I get you anything else?"
"Can you make me a screwdriver?"
"Absolutely. Mr. Winchester, you look more handsome every time I see you. I like your sweatshirt."
"Thanks, girl!"
"This is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me." Zora whispered. "I don't even know...is she squeezing fresh oranges?"
"Uh, looks like it."
Dean leaned out of his seat to watch his favorite flight attendant in the galley. She had a whole basket full of beautiful fruit and it wasn't the first time she squeezed oranges while they were taxing down the runway. Just a second before the plane took off she delivered the drink to Zora and then disappeared to buckle herself in. Private planes really were the only way to go and though Dean did feel a teensy bit decadent about flying a relatively short distance, it was the holidays and he considered it a gift to himself.
"Do you always fly like this?"
"For the past six or so years. I used to be so scared of flying, but that was before I realized you could call and tell them you wanted McDonalds and they'd have it waiting when you got to the airport."
"You had them get you Mcdonalds?"
"Us." Dean said as he raised his glass. "Fifty piece chicken nugget."
"Ugh. What does Sam see in you?"
"My ass taste like whipped cream and strawberries."
Zora paused to consider it and then shrugged before clinking her glass with Dean's. Because she'd eventually have to drive she just took the smallest sip of her drink and then held it in her hands as the plane continued to climb. Truth be told, even on private planes Dean was still a teensy bit nervous, but that's only because taking off always make him tummy feel a little funny. He was fine though, just a little concerned about Zora.
"Are you scared of flying?"
"I'm a Marine, I'm not scared of anything."
"What's wrong with your face." Dean said as he pointed. "It's like a weird looking face."
"I guess I'm not used to the lifestyles of the rich and the famous. The last time I was on a plane I was squished between a fat man and some kind of goth."
"Ah, well then you should be prepared for Vermont."
"What about it?"
"The house is enormous, and by this time tomorrow it's going to look like Christmas exploded in it. Oh, but there's a special guest house for special guests. Are you staying?"
"I will for a few days. Sam said there's a bunch of places to go shopping. I wanna be home for Christmas though."
"Are your parents coming in?"
"No."
"You won't be alone, will you?" Dean asked. "You can stay for Christmas, we just don't want the help around when we open presents. Alex says he can stay because he's going to marry Michael, but I'm not sure I agree with it."
"I have plans with my friend for Christmas. She's not close with her family, my parents aren't coming in. We're going to camp out at my place, watch Christmas movies, eat cookie dough, chick stuff."
"Oh, man! Can I come?"
"No boys."
"Oh, man!"
Dean tried sighing dramatically and whining, but Zora pretty much completely ignored him. Sam never let him eat cookie dough and Christmas specials were easily the best kind of holiday special. It seemed like a pretty fun time to just hunker down at home for a few days. Dean actually felt just a little jealous because there was nothing easy about holidays with Sam. Still he made everything perfect for the kids and they loved their big fancy Christmas so Dean wasn't going to complain.
After the plane leveled off the stewardess reappeared almost immediately with a big bag of McDonalds. Zora seemed surprised that Dean wasn't kidding, but Sam was currently in another state and it was okay to cheat when he was over a hundred miles away. Somehow the bag was still warm, which Dean was sure had to be one of those secret stewardess tricks that he'd never find out about.
"Chicken nuggets! I have fifty, you can have...six."
"Not so much a fan of the chicken goo."
"Can I get you anything else, Ms. Wilson?"
"Uh..."
"She likes sandwiches." Dean said with his mouth full. "Club sandwich, I'll give her some fries."
"A sandwich?"
"Sure." Zora nodded. "Thank you, so much."
"My pleasure."
"Here." Dean said as he handed over a pack of fries. "If I eat two large fries Sam will know something's up."
"Is there a stocked kitchen up there?"
"Well, it's not like a grocery store. There's enough to make a sandwich and there are lots of snacks because the kids like snacks."
"You have barbeque sauce all over your face, literally everywhere."
"I miss Amy." Dean frowned. "You're no fun."
"She's one of your assorted baby mama's, right?"
"Just to the twins, Ollie, and half of the babies. Mikey, Buster, and the other half of Mary and Milo are Jenny's."
"So...Amy carried Mary and Milo, but they're Jenny's?"
"Technically."
"What the hell does that mean?"
Dean sighed again and then wiped off his face so he could explain the situation to Zora who seemed like she was taking copious amount of mental notes. It seemed like she knew where all the kids had come from, because she had been around for a while, but she wasn't so clear on why they Amy had carried Jenny's eggs and then why Jenny had then turned around and carried Buster herself. Dean didn't mind talking about it, but it made him feel awful for Jenny all over again.
"Jenny, at one point, a long time ago, had a problem. We weren't entirely comfortable with her carrying a baby for us so Amy did it."
"So why did she have Buster?"
"Because we couldn't keep asking Amy to put off having her own family."
"So Amy's kids are half siblings to your kids?"
"Just Wystan and the twins. The other ones she was just the oven."
"Do the kids...well, do the call Amy's kids their brother and sisters?"
"Oh, no." Dean said as he shook his head. "No, no, our family lives in our house. They understand that Amy is their mom and that she has other kids, but they're not like the rest of the kids...which is weird because Mikey considers Becca his half sister."
"Huh. Does Jenny want more kids?"
"Um..." Dean said as he looked down at his hands. "She did. She uh...She can't have any more. When Buster was born there were some complications and she can't have any more babies. She might adopt. We'll help her if she wants to do that. We take care of each other."
Zora smiled a little and nodded before looking down at her own hands. Dean didn't mind talking about the kids or even the stuff with Jenny, but it seemed odd that Zora was so inquisitive. She was normally so reserved and obviously intent on keeping their professional relationship professional, but things were a little strange. Dean had already been warned repeatedly by the worst husband and father ever to not pry into Zora's private life, but he wasn't much for following rules.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I just...I was talking to Sam about having kids and I don't know if I want any."
"So people don't."
"I'm not sure I can anyway." Zora shrugged. "I saw a doctor after I stopped working for the police and he thought there might be trouble."
"I'm sorry."
"No, I don't even think I want kids."
"If you do..." Dean said. "You can always have them, even if you don't have them. Plenty of kids need homes."
"That's very true."
"Don't let Sam pressure you into having fourteen kids. He did that to me and now it's been ten years since I got more than five hours of sleep."
"Funny, he told a different story."
"He's a liar." Dean said. "And I can't believe you let him overpower you and kidnap the kids. You knew I forbid Christmas in Vermont."
"I was going to say something, but then I saw how excited the kids were. What kind of super jerk would I be if I stood in the way of that."
Dean rolled his pretty green eyes as hard as he could, which made Zora laugh and roll her eyes right back. There was nothing he could do about Christmas in Vermont now, since it was going to happen whether he wanted it to or not. He couldn't do anything about Zora wanting and maybe not being able to have kids either, so he changed the subject, she ate her sandwich, and by the time they were ready to land Dean was sure she was going to have a fantastic time in Vermont.
Sam was exhausted. Actually he had passed exhaustion a while ago and now he was just completely worn out, miserable, and feeling incredibly guilty. He didn't feel guilty about absconding with the kids, because they were his kids too and he could do whatever the hell he wanted with them, including leaving them at the fire station if he so chose. He actually thought about doing that with a certain red headed menace who was going to remain nameless, but the urge passed.
Sam was feeling guilty because on the five hour drive up he realized just how badly he took Dean for granted. Dean could drive for ten hours and juggle all the kids at once, and it had to be freaking exhausting. They were all so loud in the car, which was just because they were excited about running away to Vermont, but Sam had a very hard time not telling them to all pipe down. Dean wouldn't have done that, he would have yelled right along with them. Sam hadn't shared their enthusiasm, but that was mostly because he drove for about an hour through an absolutely terrifying snowstorm, again, something Dean would have handled flawlessly.
When they finally got about an hour away from the house Sam took a moment to place a few calls, while the kids played the quiet game. Milo refused to play, but he was quietly talking to himself about elves and mooses and mices. Sam didn't really know what was going on but it was sweet. The first call Sam made was to the local grocery store. He told them he was coming in and wouldn't be able to actually shop. They were more than happy to put together everything he needed for the next day or so until he could make it back without all the kids.
The next call was for dinner. There was a fabulous little pizza place about fifteen minutes from the house, and Sam had been craving it for months. He ordered a cheese pizza for Mikey and then one with everything for everyone else. He actually stopped and picked up the pizzas first and then swung by the store before his next to last stop. For the last two hours the kids had all been going on and on about hot chocolate, so Sam promised to stop and get them some to have after dinner. Normally when he went to coffee places Sam was ordering for himself and Dean and usually that came free of charge because he was someone, but a small coffee and six hot chocolates wasn't cheap. Still Sam would have paid ten times as much to get the kids to stop talking about it. Mikey held all the drinks as they finally closed in on the house and as soon as the car was in park everyone who wasn't strapped down flew out of the car at once.
"Hey!" Sam yelled. "Ethan, unbuckle Mary and Milo, Mikey, leave the cocoa and take the pizzas."
"You promise!" Ollie yelled back. "I need my cocoa."
"It's a thousand degrees. It'll be fine while I get your brother inside. Everyone into the kitchen, there are paper plates in the pantry."
"Paper plates." Mikey frowned. "What are we? Cavemen?"
"Do you want to do dishes?"
"I'll do them daddy." Evan added before coughing. "Is it super hot out here?"
"You're burning up...shit. Okay, let's do one thing at a time."
Sam unbuckled Mary and Milo and he immediately took off running, but luckily he was a total spaz and Ethan caught up with him pretty quickly. Sam grabbed Buster and then flipped through his keys looking for the right one while Ollie corralled the assorted animals. Sam couldn't wait to get inside and kick off his shoes and devour like half a pizza. Of course he changed his mind very quickly once he was inside, where it was the exact same temperature as it was outside, which was cold as fucking fuck. Sam could actually see his breath hanging in the air and all the kids looked a little concerned. Dean would have remembered that the heat wouldn't be on in the house, but Sam of course didn't think that far ahead.
"Daddy!" Ollie cried. "Buster's dead!"
"He is not dead."
"He's turning blue!"
"Oooh." Ethan said as he shook his head. "If you don't bring Buster back to life before daddy gets here he's going to be so upset with you!"
"He's not dead!"
Just to be on the safe side Sam bundled Buster up a little tighter and made sure he was still breathing. He certainly wasn't blue and he was dressed very warm. He was just fine, but he was also fast asleep. The other kids were very much awake and very uncomfortable in the frigid house. Sam briefly thought about rummaging through the bags he packed to find their coats, but then he had a stroke of utter brilliance, the kind Dean usually had.
"Family room picnic!" Sam smiled. "Come on, bring everything in the family room. Ethan, shut the door for me."
"Daddy, it's so cold."
"Is it?" Sam asked Ethan. "I hadn't noticed. Leave this up to super daddy."
"Is he here?" Ollie asked as he ran to the window. "Where do you see him! Oh, he's so handsome!"
"Me! I meant me!"
"Oh...you."
"Yeah, me! Watch me handle this."
Sam actually did handle the situation quite expertly because he plopped the kids down around the coffee table in the family room, and flicking a switch to get the fireplace going. After tossing on a few of those very handy paper logs the fire was roaring and in an hour or maybe two the rest of the house would be warmed by the heater. It was pretty cold though so if it was still chilly when it was time for bed Sam was just going to let everyone camp out in the master bedroom around that fireplace, which might be nice.
"Okay." Sam said after shoving an entire slice of pizza in his mouth. "Mikey, watch everyone around the fire...especially that one."
"Daddy, can I take a nap in a fire?"
"No, you may not."
"Why?" Milo asked. "I want to."
"You'll burn your hair off."
"Oh, no!"
"I'm going to unpack the car and crank up the heater."
"I can help you, daddy." Evan said as he went to stand up. "I'll get the groceries."
"I can handle them, but thank you. "
Sam put his hand against Evan's forehead and was not at all happy with how warm he felt. Mikey and Ollie were just kind of sniffly still, but Evan was clearly running a fever. After he ate and before his cocoa Sam was going to have to take his temperature and maybe give him something before making sure he got a good night's rest. He was a tough little guy and he'd be fine, but Dean was going to blow a gasket when he realized Evan arrived sicker than he had left.
After grabbing a big thick coat out of the closet in the entryway Sam went back out into the cold, but which seemed to have gotten worse in the last five minutes. The snow was really coming down hard and the wind was so strong that Sam actually got knocked sideways a little. Luckily he was heavy and strong and no punk ass wind was going to take him down.
On the first trip Sam brought in half the bags and then the rest. On the third trip he brought in two huge boxes filled with groceries and on the fourth and final trip he went back for the cocoa. There were some more boxes in the back of the car, but those were Christmas presents and they were staying where they were until the sun came out. Sam still had so much stuff to do and presents to buy and make, but he wasn't worried because he was at his Christmas house and his holiday cheer had gone up twentyfold.
In the kitchen Sam put away all the cold groceries and left everything else on the counter. The pantry was pretty bare and what was left would probably have to be tossed since it had been so long since they were last in Vermont. That was another project for tomorrow, one that Sam wasn't even going to worry about until he got some sleep and the feeling returned to his hands and toes.
"Daddy, I got the thermometer."
"Oh." Sam said as he scooped Evan up and put him on the counter. "Tell me how you feel."
"Sleepy and hot."
"Sounds like you need to sleep in the big bed with me and daddy."
"Is he going to be here soon?"
"Probably. He'll be here when you wake up for sure."
"Okay. He'll get lonely without us because he...."
"So dumb!" Milo said as he stormed into the kitchen. "It's dumb and mean and stupid and dumb! I hate it!"
"What the hell..."
"Punish."
Milo had about seven slices of pizza smeared all over his face and he was about to press it into the corner of the kitchen. Sam was worried enough about pizza in the family room, he wasn't about to scrub tomato sauce off the wall. He managed to stop Milo just a second before he began to serve his time in the corner, but it did little to make him less pissed off. His face was all scrunched up and angry and though it was possibly the cutest thing ever, Sam tried not to laugh.
"What happened?"
"Wanna put Buster in the fire."
"Why?"
"Keep 'em warm."
"That would kill him." Sam said calmly. "If you put anything in a fire it'll die."
"Not forever!"
"For long enough. Come wipe your face off and then you sit at the table and think about how much you love your brother."
"Not Mikey!"
"You love him too even if he punished you."
"Pft."
"Daddy, it says 101.8."
Evan, who always managed to take care of himself, had taken his own temperature like a big boy. Sam didn't like that number at all, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It wasn't anything Sam couldn't handle, so he got Evan some Tylenol, decided on a nice lukewarm bath before bed, and give him a kiss right in the middle of the forehead. That made Evan feel better, but Milo immediately began to cry because everyone hated him and no one loved him because his hair was so beautiful. Sam gave him a kiss too and then got him to pipe down with the cocoa.
Back in the family room everything was okay and no one was on fire. The upholstery also seemed unscathed, but the pizzas had been pretty much destroyed. Sam had no idea who had taken two bites out of almost every slice, but he was willing to bet it was Milo, who had most likely been trying to claim them all as his own. He looked a little guilty when Sam inspected the pizza and then he tried his best to hide behind his little cup of cocoa.
"Okay." Sam said as he sat down and grabbed a half eaten slice of pizza. "This is fine, didn't want my own slice."
"Daddy, I told..."
"You shh, Mikey!" Milo hissed. "Shh, no one ask things. Go be a nerd!"
"Is that nice?" Sam asked. "Calling your brother a nerd?"
"Daddy do it."
"Well, that's only because he is a nerd."
"Hey!"
"I'm joking." Sam laughed. "Okay, tonight we're all going to sleep in me and daddy's room while the rest of the house heats up. He'll be here soon and tomorrow I'll make us waffles. Then I'm going shopping and pretending all of you don't exist for like three whole hours."
"Well then I'm going to pretend that you don't exist." Ethan said before he scoffed. "And that daddy is my daddy and that I'll just grow up short and that'll be fine."
"Ethan, no!" Evan cried. "You know he can't dance because he's too short."
"Enough about daddy." Ollie said as he slammed his hand down on the coffee table. "Is perfect in everyway!"
"Agreed." Sam sighed. "I wish I didn't have to kidnap you guys and take you across state lines to get my way."
"Daddy should know better." Mary said with a sympathetic nod. "Why fight it? We are a princesses."
"That's true. Come give daddy a kiss."
Mary was picking at the same piece of pizza she had started with, but she quickly abandoned it to give Sam a smooch right on the lips. Dealing with the kids and driving all the way to Vermont on his own hadn't been easy, in fact it was downright difficult, but Sam knew he had done the right thing. While they finished eating everyone said what they wanted to do and the tree they wanted to get and Evan couldn't wait to get better so they could start baking. It was going to be their most wonderful Christmas yet, their first Christmas with Buster, who had somehow managed to survive the perilous journey to Vermont through the grace of our lord Gabe.
After everyone had eaten their fill and downed their cooled cocoa Sam quickly cleaned up and then ushered everyone upstairs. It wasn't horribly late, but it was late enough to skip baths for almost everyone. Sam let Mikey get everyone changed into their pajamas while he gave Evan a warmish kind of cool bath. Luckily the bathroom had it's own heater so it was nice and warm in there for him and he did seem a lot more comfortable after his bath. Sam kind of wanted one too, but he was ready to lie in bed and relax.
It took thirty minutes for everyone to fall asleep. They were scattered all over the bed with only the smallest little bit of space for Dean. Evan was right next to Sam and his forehead didn't feel quite as warm as it had earlier. Hopefully after a good night's sleep he was going to wake up and feel good as new. Sam was looking forward to getting some sleep as well, but as soon as he decided to burrow under the covers and close his eyes he heard tiny peep noises coming from the side of the bed. It figured that as soon as everyone else was asleep, Buster would decided it was time for peeps, poops, and something to eat.
Sam quickly changed his diaper and made him a bottle even quicker than that. He was back in bed in about ten minutes and Buster was happily sucking away at his late dinner. He wasn't going to stay awake for long, Sam could see it in his eyes, but he did enjoy some time alone with his sweet baby, while the rest of the house was so quiet and still. It was completely silent except for the quiet crackle of the fire, and it stayed absolutely peaceful for a record nine minutes before the bedroom doors swung open and a wild beast barged in.
"What the hell!" Sam whispered. "How'd you get here so fast?"
"I flew." Dean said as he narrowed his eyes. "You stole my baby."
"What the fuck is wrong with your hair?"
"Ignore that!"
Dean looked absolutely ridiculous. He was dressed like a frat boy who just sent some sorority slut on a walk of shame and his hair was sticking up in every which way possible. The brutal winter wind had really done a number on it and Sam could just barely see the glistening of some snow. Bitch looked crazy as hell, but Sam sure was glad to see him.
"Don't disturb the kids."
"Me?" Dean asked. "You took our sick kids and shoved them in a confined space for five hours, and please Jesus tell me you didn't drive through this storm."
"I know how to drive."
"Like an Asian woman."
"Well, someone's not getting a handjob...or a baby."
"You're giving me that baby." Dean said as he approached the side of the bed. "And some sugar."
"What a surprise, you call me an Asian woman and then you want a kiss. Old habits die hard."
"Shut your dick holster."
Even though Buster was still so young and so little, he was very observant. As soon as Dean got closer he started to wiggle and squirm. Sam just thought he was dancing at first, but then it seemed like he was making a very obvious attempt to get closer to Dean. He even lost interest in his bottle and began to smile and coo as Sam handed him over. It was just about the cutest thing ever, and Sam knew exactly how Buster felt.
"Hello, big boy!" Dean smiled. "Oh, my goodness! Did you go on a big trip? Were you a good baby?"
"He was the best baby. Everyone else...eh."
"Not my princess."
"Oh, she was fine, but all those other ones, I can't remember all their names...I don't know how you do it."
"What does that mean?" Dean asked as he sat down. "Do what?"
"You are never not engaged with them, from the moment they wake up until you tuck them into bed. They never stop talking, they have a thousand questions, they always seem to need something, a Kleenex, to stop and kick a deer, hot freaking cocoa."
"They're always like that."
"Yeah, but you're always around to deal with half of it. Flying solo is exhausting."
"You know if you had told me how much coming here meant to you I wouldn't have made such a big deal about it."
"It doesn't matter to me where we are as long as we're together. I came here for them. They're so excited."
"I know, I was just worried about him."
"He's fine." Sam said as he pushed back Buster's hair. "He was perfect. He was right next to Mikey the whole ride up, not a problem."
"What about the storm?"
"Slightly nerve wracking, but it wasn't that bad."
Dean sighed a little and then reached over to put his hand against Evan's forehead. He immediately looked worried, and proceeded to go from kid to kid seeing how warm they were. Everyone else said they were doing fine, but Evan was still fighting it. Sam knew he was tempting fate by sticking healthy kids in the car with sick kids, but colds didn't last that long and even Evan said he was feeling better after his bath.
"Did you give him something?"
"Tylenol, gave him a bath, come on, get in bed."
"It's freaking cold in this house, Sammy." Dean said as he got under the covers. "The thermostat said it was 55."
"It was 42 when we got here."
"Jesus."
"It's toasty in here though. Oh, did you bring Zora?"
"Yeah, I got her set up in the family room. She was going to take a shower."
"She's going to sleep on the sofa?"
"At least until it warms up. I told her to just take whatever room she wanted and we'll get her set up in the carriage house tomorrow."
"No." Sam said as she shook his head. "She stays here with us. When her friend comes they can stay out there if they want."
"Do...can we...is it okay to use the term tranny?"
"Uh...Not unless you want them calling you a faggot!"
"Shh!"
"Seriously, it's never okay to say that."
"I know that." Dean said as he rolled his eyes. "She's a chick with a di..."
"Dean!"
"Dude with boobs?"
"Oh, my god." Sam said as he shook his head. "You are hopeless."
"I'm joking! She told me all about her, all about the proper pronouns, what they do with the penis and..."
"What...what do they do with the penis?"
"They turn it into a flower."
"Huh. I can't believe she told you about her."
"I didn't give her much choice. Oh, you done with your bottle, baby? You're sleeping with me tonight."
Buster burped rather loudly and then curled down against Dean's chest, which was the best spot in the world to sleep. He was out like a light in a second, and Sam wasn't going to be far behind. He was actually a little shocked that Zora had been so forthcoming with Dean, who wasn't exactly the most understanding person in the world. Still, he was a great man, a great friend, and he was always endlessly supportive, even if there was something he didn't understand, and he sure as hell didn't understand Melody and Zora.
"So...She's gay?"
"Zora?" Sam asked. "I think she's just with a woman right now."
"But she's a woman on the outside and feels like a woman in her head, but she's..."
"She's a woman." Sam shrugged. "Who was born a biological man."
"Sammy, what if she comes up in here looking like that big Kardashian?"
"You're worried about the kids?"
"Well, Ethan."
"It'll be fine. Zora is important to us, yes?"
"Yeah she's great."
"And Melody is important to her. If the kids have questions we'll answer them, like we always do."
"I would die if any of them wanted to be girls."
"What about Mary?"
"Please, she's two and she's already completely over everyone always talking about their penis, she's never going to want one."
"Don't worry about it. You wouldn't die. You'd deal, we both would. That's what we do."
"Well, I still might take them elk hunting tomorrow."
"Good luck with that."
"Sugar. Come on."
Sam rolled his eyes and then gave Dean a big long goodnight kiss. There was no telling what was going to happen to the kids when they grew up. Hell, there was no way to know what was going to happen tomorrow. All that mattered to Sam, all that mattered to Dean, was that they grew up safe, healthy, and loved beyond reason. If they had that it didn't really matter what any of them did with their wieners when they were grown up.