(no subject)
I'm so into this story. These stories aren't going to be my usual 10k chapters. Most chapters of Mikey don't need to be 10k, but I'm anal about shit like that. Enjoy.
Title: 1000 Strong.
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean, OMC, Lillith
Rating :R
Words:7,600/16,100
Warnings: Wincest, blood, violence, OC death.
Summary: Sam's faith is tested as Dean's second in command arrives.
Notes:: Rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Spoilers for season 3
Feedback: Makes me hard
Dean was supposed to have soldiers for his war, but Sam wasn’t entirely sure what they were. They treated him like the second coming and he spoke to them like he was addressing his congregation. He spoke to them about his theories regarding philosophy and theology and they listening with baited breath kneeling at his feet. He was a shepherd and they were his flock ready and willing to die for the cause.
If it was anyone else Sam would have been terrified about such unconditional, fanatical, devotion, but it was Dean and as scary as the world had gotten he had never felt safer. He felt warm all the time and his senses were constantly thrown into overdrive no matter what Dean did. If he touched him even if it wasn’t sexual every nerve ending in Sam’s body would pulse. His nostrils were raw sometimes from smelling the scent wafting off his body and when Sam tasted him he’d lose himself and the whole world would fade away.
It wasn’t just his come. It was spit, sweat, tears and even a little blood. Sam had yet to suck him off without giving himself an orgasm as soon as he came in his mouth. It was amazing, better than ever before, but all of Dean was better. His sweat was sweet like honey with vague floral notes that danced across Sam’s tongue. His spit was laced with sugar and made Sam salivate like one of Pavlov’s dogs. Dean had cried and bled from a clumsy moment with a razor and Sam relished everything and held it in his mouth.
After he came back Dean changed slowly. It started when they met his first three soldiers and went on through the next week. His soldiers were devoted to him and one had offered up a cabin in the wood to serve as a base camp for their cause. They seemed to know everything about what was going on without Dean having to explain. They just knew who he was and what he needed and one of the first things was shelter.
The cabin was in upstate New York and isolated enough that Dean could have the peace he needed. That was one of the first things Sam noticed about how he changed. He craved quiet and solitude so he could think and be calm. Sam felt like he was intruding at first until Dean reminded him that he couldn’t be calm without him there.
The second thing he noticed happed the day after their first night in the cabin. They had gone in with a few bags of groceries and not much else. It was furnished inside, but the outside wasn’t very attractive. It just rustic like cabins were supposed to be with a spray of dead grass and a few wilting bushes. Sam distinctly remembered the lack of landscaping when they pulled up and on Sunday morning when he woke up it had been transformed.
It wasn’t anything a person had done, or anything an individual would have even been capable of overnight. The entire landscape had changed and the earth blossomed beneath Dean’s feet. The grass grew in rich darks shades of green. All the hard compacted dirt had softened and deepened in color. All around them plants came out of the ground and blossomed with sweet smelling flowers dripping from winding vines that climbed over the porch and wrapped themselves around the columns. It had just been hours and somehow Dean had managed to change the world, he had influenced nature and brought it back to life.
He was just as shocked as Sam was because he wasn’t expecting such verdant growth but he thought it was beautiful and even inspirational which was what life was all about. Dean had changed a lot, but he was still himself since he was constantly cracking jokes about an idea he had for a television show called “Fucked By An Angel.” They weren’t really fucking though, they were having sex, but it was hardly fucking anymore. Before Dean died sometimes it was quick, rough, and just painful enough to be pleasant. After he came back he took hours and worshiped Sam like the good lord had taught him. It wasn’t just getting to an orgasm, it was enjoying the trip and taking it as slowly as possible.
Normally Sam might have complained or at least mentioned how much time they were spending between the sheets, but it was too damn good. Most of the time he could barely even remember his own name let alone how to speak fully formed words and ideas. It was incredible and during those hours together in bed Sam felt closer to Dean and God than he ever had before.
A lot about Dean had changed, but Sam didn’t realize how severe it really was until they were on the porch staring at all the new growth that had sprung up over night. Bobby had headed back home to do a little research and all of Dean’s soldiers that they had met were waiting in their own homes. They were alone and it was Sunday morning which meant they had to give thanks to God.
When Dean said it Sam thought he was hearing things. He looked away from all the flowers and studied Dean’s face to see if he was joking, but he looked as calm and composed as ever. He looked so peaceful like having the weight of the world on his shoulders wasn’t bothering him at all.
“Uh, I think there’s a church in town.”
“We’re in a church, Sammy. Let’s take a walk.”
That was the philosophy and theology shining through again. Dean was reminding him that God didn’t live in a building. He was the air they breathed, the ground underfoot and the sky above them. It was Sunday, their holy day which made Sam a little confused because they had spent much of the night wrapped up in each other sweating and coming. According to the bible what the did was wrong. The good book specifically said that two men shouldn’t lie together like they had been doing for a year.
“I think the good book is missing some pages.”
“Do you?” Sam asked.
“Do you think there’s something wrong with us loving each other?”
“No.”
“Do you think God does?” Dean asked. “Do you think he seems human bodies walking the earth, or does he see beating hearts?”
“Hearts I would hope.” Sam said as he followed Dean off the porch. “I don’t know him personally.”
“I do.”
“Where are we going, Dean?”
“To the river Sammy, I’m thinkin’ about jumping in.”
It wasn’t really a river and it certainly wasn’t deep enough to jump into. Sam thought it was more of a stream that ran around the cabin and then emptied out into a small like a few miles down the road. Little streams like that functioned like veins running from one body to another. Sam had wanted to check it out, but when they arrived Dean was more concerned with making sure the cabin was adequate.
They had always stayed in motels, but the new Dean couldn’t deal with them anymore. They were too filthy and too many sins had been committed inside the walls. He liked the cabin much better because a family lived there sometimes and they loved each other. He still asked Sam for some help cleaning it up though, just so they could get a little closer to God.
Sam wasn’t prepared for how close they were about to get until they made it to the stream and Dean started to undress himself. They were in the middle of nowhere and the cabin was set on a dozen acres so they had privacy, but he was still a little shocked. Dean took off his jacket first and folded it neatly before he took off his shirt and undershirt and finally his jeans. When he was just standing in his underwear he smiled at Sam and waited.
When he didn’t do anything Dean took off his underwear and stood at the side of the stream completely naked. Sam wasn’t sure why he was so hesitant to get undressed, it sort of seemed like a bad idea when they could be ambushed at any minute by a whole army of demons coming to finish the job.
“Do you want me to do it for you?”
“I can do it.” Sam said as he took off his jacket. “I just don’t know why we need to be naked.”
“No shame in the garden, Sammy.”
Sam looked back at the cabin and decided that Dean hadn’t led him astray yet. He had always listened to him and he was going to keep doing it. He stripped down to nothing and then stood at the stream next to Dean and watched the water flow. It was so clear Sam could see their reflection it in, both naked and more vulnerable than ever.
“Take my hand.”
“Okay.”
Sam smiled and slipped his hand into Dean’s before they walked into the stream. Right in the middle there was a little embankment, a build up of stones that they sat upon. The water was cold but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. That was something else Sam attributed to Dean. The water was just up to their waists as they sat down facing each other. Dean’s back was to the current and Sam was across from him with the same love struck dumb grin on his face.
“God said let there be light, let there air and space. Let there be land and trees. He made Adam from the dust of the earth and set him in the garden to name all his creatures. He named one dove and another hare. He named a tree olive and tasted of it’s fruit. On the seventh day God rested.”
“He kicked him out too.”
“After he was tainted by the serpent. You ever wonder what life could be like if they hadn’t strayed from God’s light, Sammy?”
“No.”
“Me neither.” Dean laughed. “How are you today?”
“I’m okay.”
“You think I’m crazy.”
“Sometimes.”
There was no use in saying he didn’t because Sam had thought it more than once. The things Dean said we just so unbelievable sometimes. It seemed like he was plucking random ideas out of the sky and just letting them rush through his perfect lips. Even if he was crazy, Sam still trusted him with his life. He trusted him with the world just like the rest of Dean’s disciples.
“Sammy, I want you to ask for God’s forgiveness.”
“For what?”
“The people you’ve killed, the lives you’ve taken.”
“They were all…”
“I know that, but they were still people. If you ask he’ll forgive you.”
Sam prayed every night but he never asked for forgiveness for the lives he had taken. He didn’t think he deserved it but Dean obviously did so Sam closed his eyes and had a conversation with God while sitting in the stream naked with an angel.
He had a very casual relationship with God, one that wasn’t mired in tradition. He liked to just talk sometimes and hope that he was listening. Sam asked for forgiveness for the lives he took. He asked for guidance in troubles times and a little bit of light in the darkness. He wanted forgiveness and he had always thought that if he really meant it he would get it and be absolved of his sins.
“Now open your eyes.”
Sam opened them slowly one eye at a time and then felt like the whole world was watching him. He felt such love in his heart with the sun shining over head and Dean smiling at him. They were no longer alone either. A solitary deer was making it’s way towards them with the softest kindest eyes Sam had ever seen. He felt such peace just looking at it. He had been in the presence of something holy since Dean came back and now he was face to face with God.
“It’s beautiful.” Sam said.
“All around us, Sam. God is everywhere.”
The deer walked over and right into the stream. Sam was expecting it to walk on water but Dean quickly reminded him that was Jesus and not God. He still made him laugh even when he was pointing out all the beauty in the world.
Dean cupped his hands together and brought up some water for the deer to drink. Any other animal would have approached with caution or not at all, but they weren’t in the presence of any normal animal. It dropped it’s mouth into Dean’s hands and lapped at the water. It even waited for him to get some more so it could have a second drink. It’s fur was so shiny and smooth Sam had to reach out and run his fingers along the light brown hairs and little patches of white.
“Like Bambi.”
“Yeah.” Dean laughed. “A little like Bambi.”
After it had it’s fill it walked right out of the stream and ran off into to trees surrounding them. Sam felt so calm, but much of that had to do with Dean and not being in a presence of God for a few moments.
“Does he forgive me?”
“Of course he does, Sam. By taking one life, how many did you save? How many people are alive right now because the people we’ve killed aren’t?”
“I don’t know.” Sam shrugged. “Why do I need to ask for forgiveness if I’ve done the right thing?”
“Because I want you in heaven.”
“What was it like?”
“Warm.” Dean laughed. “You’ll see one day. You stick by me it’s like having a VIP pass. Now do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
“Close your eyes.”
Sam closed his eyes and all he could see was the darkness of his eyelids. There was a little light seeping in, but that even started to fade as he felt Dean’s hands hold his. He was running his fingertips over his palms and keeping him safe in the rushing water.
“You’ve got to be brave.”
“I am.” Sam whispered. “You make me brave.”
“You need to be braver than I can make you, Sam. You need to fight in this war like I’m not here.”
“Why would you…”
“Open your eyes.”
When Dean whispered Sam did open his eyes and realized he was right. He needed to be a hell of a lot braver, braver than he ever thought he could be. In the few seconds his eyes had closed the demon army had surrounded them. They were all hovering black masses blocking out the sun like rain clouds. Dean had estimated two hundred, but there were thousands of them swirling around, screeching and clawing at each other.
“Oh my God.”
“Stay calm.” Dean whispered. “They can’t hurt us.”
“Where did they come from?”
“She opened the gate Sam. I was alone in hell because they all got out. Every one of these demons will set up shop in a body and we’ll have to kill those people.”
“It’s…”
“Thousands. You needed to ask for forgiveness so we can have a blank slate before we do this.”
“Did you know?” Sam asked. “Did you know she opened the gate?”
“Someone told me.”
“Who?”
“My boss.”
Sam looked at the swarm of demons and just as quickly as they appeared they all ran scared as the deer came back out of the woods. Sam wasn’t sure if they didn’t attack because they physically couldn’t or if it was because they were protected. All he knew was that they ran scared in the presence of God, all except one.
The form was just hovering above the ground, even though it didn’t have any real face or shape at all, Sam was sure it was watching them. She was watching them and just waiting.
“Lillith.”
“Yeah.” Dean whispered. “It’s kind of funny, isn’t it Sammy?”
“What?”
“Whole army of demons and she’s the only one still there. She’s the only one not scared, now stand up.”
Dean stood up first and she still waited, but once Sam was on his feet she headed for the hills. The deer left again and they were alone, naked in the stream as one angel and one man who was feared by a demon who wasn’t afraid of God.
“Sammy?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think they deliver pizza all the way out here?”
That night while Dean showered and waited for his pizza Sam made a call to Bobby to talk to him about the whole new army. He wanted to see what he thought since Dean wasn’t the least bit worried. He didn’t even seem to care about a thousand demons, he treated it like they were just a handful of rowdy teenagers which they could more than handle.
Sam however was terrified. Dean had told him not to be but he couldn’t really help it. Lillith had a thousand demons at her disposal and Dean had three seemingly ordinary people. She definitely had the advantage since demons didn’t need much of anything to kill a person and they currently only had two weapons, one that needed a close range attack and one that needed to be reloaded. It wasn’t like the demons would get into line and wait to be stabbed or shot.
At first Bobby was sure that Sam was exaggerating the number since he couldn’t imagine a thousand demons getting out of hell and no one knowing about it. If anything Sam thought he was low balling the number. It could have been two thousand or maybe even five. They were all overlapping and had enveloped them in one black bubble that blocked out the sky above them.
Sam was sure Dean had a plan, but he hadn’t shared it yet and unless he had a magical armory somewhere he wasn’t sure how they were supposed to take out that many demons without suffering massive causalities. It just wasn’t something they could do with two weapons no matter how many people they had. Even if they eventually outnumbered Lillith’s army she still had a rather serious advantage.
Bobby decided that they had to trust Dean. Not only did he have divine guidance but he’d never put anyone in danger, at least the old Dean wouldn’t have. Sam was a little concerned about who might end up being expendable in the war to save the world. If he was willing to kill thousands of people Sam had to think that he might be okay with letting more than a few die on their side.
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.” Sam sighed. “I mean whenever he decides we’re ready to do this how do we know any of us are going to make it out alive?”
“You wouldn’t die to save the world?” Bobby asked. “He told us we’d make it. How can you doubt him, Sam?”
“I don’t, I’m just worried about how we’re supposed to do this and what the cost will end up being.”
Dying to save the world was a little easier to handle with the promise of an actual afterlife with his family and friends, but Sam wasn’t sure if he was ready to die so young. Dean had said they’d make it, but Sam didn’t know if he actually meant it. Very few people would lead an army by telling them that in the end they might be dead. Sam trusted him, he really did but not being concerned was just stupid.
If he was given a choice he’d probably gladly die to save the world, but he was one person. He couldn’t speak for the rest of Dean’s soldiers or the people who Lillith’s army was occupying. They were just innocent people who would have to die since there wasn’t any other way that he knew of to kill a demon.
“Just trust him.”
“I do.”
“It doesn’t sound that way to me.” Bobby laughed. “Sounds like doubt.”
“It’s caution. He’s changed, Bobby. He’s fanatical about keeping everything clean and he asked me to ask God for forgiveness today.”
“Maybe you should.”
“What?”
“Listen, Sam, I don’t pretend to completely understand what’s going on, but you should be thankful that you’re both alive and he’s not in hell. Trust him.”
“I saw God today.”
“I see God everyday.
Sam felt like he was going crazy. He could handle Dean talking in riddles, but when Bobby started to do it, he got a little more concerned. He had faith, especially in Dean, but blind faith was dangerous and there was no telling where that would get them.
After they hung up Sam paced the living room for a second before he decided to take Bobby’s advice and just trust him. The three soldiers they had met were completely devoted to Dean and would have gladly died to win the war. The people they’d have to kill would ensure that the would was a safer place and Sam liked to think that they might be okay with that if they knew. Most of them would probably be dead already and just puppets made out of meat.
“Stop worrying.” Dean said as he walked into the living room. “I told you not to worry. Bobby isn’t worried.”
“Bobby didn’t just see so many demons that it looked like midnight.”
“He also didn’t see all them scatter, you did Sammy. Please have a little faith.”
“I have faith, I’m just scared.”
“That’s fine.” Dean sighed. “I’m telling you there’s nothing to be scared of. Few weeks this will all be over. We can live here Sam, we can just ignore everything else and get a dog if you want.”
“What do you mean?” Sam asked. “We’re just going to settle down and live in the woods?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Because we have a job to do.”
“And in a few weeks we won’t. We’re tipping the scales, Sam. When I’m done there won’t be anything left to hunt.”
“And how many people are going to die to have that happen?”
“Thousands.”
He said it with such ease, like he was answering a question about whether he wanted a beer or to watch some television. It didn’t bother him at all that the body count was going to be massive. That was mostly what Sam was having a problem with. People were going to die. The man who owned the cabin they were living in might not make it out alive. The mother who came back to life after a car accident might not go home to her children and that broke Sam’s heart.
“Over three hundred thousand people died in Vietnam. Millions died during World War Two, I think a few hundred bodies isn’t that bad.”
“How do you even know that?” Sam asked.
“The same way I know that everything is going to be fine if you just have a little faith.”
“It’s just not fair. Those demons are going to go into innocent people. They’re going to possess fathers and mother.”
“And their children will one day know why their parents died. It’s sacrifice Sam. I had a conversation about it. I can guarantee that when these people die they’ll know they died to make the world a better place.”
“A conversation with who?” Sam asked. “God?”
“Dad.”
“You didn’t tell me…”
“I’m telling you now.” Dean said as he walked towards him. “He did what he had to do. He expects us to do the same. We’ll kill these people, we’ll mourn the loss and then ask for forgiveness. We’ll see all of them again one day.”
“What did he tell you?”
“That he was pissed off.” Dean laughed. “Pissed off and proud. He said one day you’ll remember what he told you.”
“What he told me?”
“When you died, Sammy.” Dean said as he stared at the ground. “He told you something when you were up there.”
“I was in heaven?”
“Yeah.”
“And I’ll get back there one day?” Sam asked. “I’ll get to see mom and dad, Jess?”
“Yes, if you have faith.”
Sam nodded and then rushed over to him. Just being around Dean gave him all the faith he could ever need and then some. He was so calming and strong that Sam was going to just ignore everything that would eventually happen and trust that Dean and his big boss in the sky knew what they were doing.
He hadn’t remembered dying, so it was no surprise that he had no idea what happened afterwards. If Dean said he was in heaven he was going to believe it and try his hardest to remember whatever words of wisdom John had told him. He was going to fight and as hard as it was to accept the losses they’d be worth it for the utopia Dean had promised.
If they really would be done in a few weeks they’d have the rest of the lives to just hang out together and maybe not even worry about real jobs or any responsibilities. After so much bullshit their lives could be perfect and they could grow old together like he thought they’d never be able to.
“I like hugs.”
“You do?” Sam laughed. “You like a lot of new things.”
“I’m still me, Sammy.”
“I know, it’s just different. You just took a shower and I can’t smell soap at all. I just smell the flowers, the life.”
“You like how I taste too.”
“Always did.”
“Really?” Dean asked as he back away. “Even before?”
“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “It’s you, how could I not?”
“You’re a charmer and I’m starving. Pizza’s here.”
“Really?”
“Yep. You wanna know how we’re going to win this war?”
“What?”
“Watch, Sammy. Demon delivery in thirty minutes or less.”
When the knock came at the door Dean pointed to the sofa and Sam sat down right away because he trusted him. He wasn’t going to question anything else no matter what happened. As he watched Dean answer the door he realized how foolish he was to think that right when something that demanded answers happened.
The delivery driver was a young man, twenty years old maybe. He looked completely ordinary, but Dean was looking past his face to what was sleeping inside. It was a clever disguise and if Sam had passed him on the street he wouldn’t have know any better, but Dean did.
Obviously he was working on his own or Lillith had sent him as a test to see how far Dean was willing to go to get to her. He was young, he had his whole life ahead of him, but that didn’t matter to Dean because he knew what was waiting for him on the other side.
Before the driver could even say how much they owed him or attack, Dean pulled his gun out the back of his jeans and fired. He had aimed directly for the center of the man’s head and blew out the back of his skull with one bullet. Sam very quickly stood up and watched as Dean grabbed the pizza so it wouldn’t fall. It was almost funny that he kept his priorities straight when he had just killed someone who was basically just a kid.
The crackle was quick as he slumped down. His body actually fell into the house and Sam’s stomach twisted when he saw the hollow mess that was what was left of the back of his head. He was gushing blood everywhere as those last few sparks stopped and his body was no longer twitching. Dean had shot him point blank and that wasn’t the most shocking thing.
Dean had killed him with his own personal gun and not The Colt. It had done the same thing The Colt would have and killed a demon no problem which was something Sam didn’t even think was possible and wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own two wide eyes.
“You killed him.” Sam whispered.
“Yep.”
“How did you do that?”
“Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.” Dean smiled. “See, I get me an assault rifle and mow all those fuckers down at once.”
“So any weapon you hold can kill a demon?”
“Yep.”
“Well that helps.” Sam sighed. “Poor kid.”
“Don’t feel bad for him Sammy.”
“How can I not?”
“Just don’t.”
Sam wasn’t looking forward to dealing with a body, a car, and a whole river of blood in the living room. It seemed a little irresponsible to kill him even if he was a demon because he was at their house delivering a pizza and when he turned up missing the police were bound to come knocking.
Dean didn’t look worried at all, in fact he had a smile on his face while he walked to the coffee table to set the box down and placed his gun on top of it. He had just killed someone and he was just fine with that and the dead body made Sam a little nauseous.
Of course the back of someone’s blown out skull was actually easy to deal with when compared to the sight of it pulling itself back together. Sam felt like he was going to be sick all over the poor guy as his brain filled itself back in and the shattered bits of skull bridged the gaps left by the bullet. His skin stretched over the exposed bone and then his hair sprouted again before he stood up and dusted off his shirt.
He was covered in blood, all over the back of his shirt. The porch and the living room were covered with slow spreading lakes, but he was just fine and smiled at both of them like they were long lost friends.
“Hi, Dean.”
“Hello.” Dean said as he shook his hand. “You okay?”
“Yeah, thank you.”
“No problem. You ever want to talk, this is where we are.”
“I’ll be fine.” He laughed. “Call me when you’re ready.”
“I will, thank you.”
He shook Sam’s hand next and then accepted twenty dollars for the pizza he had delivered. Dean was frowning at the blood but he smiled as he walked away. They were officially four soldiers strong up against a thousand, but all that could wait because Dean had a pizza with his name on it.
Sam followed him to the sofa and took a few bites of one piece, but he couldn’t eat when there was so much blood and when he was sure he was in the middle of a very vivid dream.
“Sammy?”
“Yeah?”
“Save some pizza, okay?”
“Sure.” Sam nodded. “Why?”
“My second in command will be here in a few hours. He might be hungry.” Dean said. “Fucking blood, right after I had my shower.”
“I’ll, uh, I can clean it up.”
“I’ll help, Sammy.” Dean smiled. “We can do it together.”
The cabin was originally a very utilitarian hunting cabin where a few guys could get together and have a place to shower and sleep at the end of the day. That was it’s original purpose until Ed, one of Dean’s soldiers, bought it and gutting the entire thing. He turned it into a much nicer space that he could spend a few weeks at during the summer and maybe for holidays.
He had done a very good job on the renovation because there wasn’t any evidence that it had ever been utilitarian. It still wasn’t lavish, but it was comfortable and if it was theirs free and clear Sam would have been happy to call it his home. It was isolated but the drive into town was nice and at least they knew they could pizza delivered if they wanted to.
The kitchen was a decent size, more than enough for two guys who couldn’t cook to save their lives. It had a large bathroom downstairs which harkened back to when it was built for a group of men. Sam figured a few years ago it probably had urinals and stalls but it had all be replaced with a glass enclosed shower, one single toilet and a large sunken tub that Dean was very happy with.
The lower level had one bedroom that was quite small but adequate and the loft above the living room held their bed which Dean had started to refer to as their bedroom. They had an honest to God bedroom in their very own house and even if they both had to die to get it Sam was still pretty giddy about the whole thing.
The cabin was set on numerous acres but it had a proper backyard with some very rustic furniture and a little built in pit which made Dean happy as well. He was pretty sure if he bought some ribs he could cook them out there, he even thought that they could maybe have a barbeque and invite Bobby if he wanted to come.
After they each had a few slices of pizza they went into the backyard armed with Dean’s gun and a six pack of beer. Sam had joked about how angels shouldn’t be drinking, but Dean just reminded him that no one was that holy and he was pretty sure that God cracked open a bottle every now and then maybe on a Sunday like they were.
It was nice outside after the sun set. It was getting warmer, but the night’s were cool and Sam was comfortable. Dean mentioned being a little sticky, but he could always remedy that with another shower and if he had some company that wouldn’t be so bad. He had already taken three since he woke up, which had Sam a little worried because he only really needed one in the morning. Sam hadn’t taken a shower after they cleaned up the blood because he didn’t really get any on him. They just hosed off the porch and mopped inside after Dean pushed around a whole roll of paper towels. He liked to be clean and if he needed ten showers a day that was fine with Sam and he was certainly interested in maybe joining him for his last shower of the day so they could get a little dirty before they got clean.
While Dean sipped at his beer and just kind of stared out at the land, Sam couldn’t stop watching him. He had always been unfairly attractive, but now was bordering on absurd. His physical self was spectacular but once he had everything to go along with it, Sam could barely blink when he was around him. He didn’t think he felt that way just because they were in a relationship together and he got to see all the best parts of him all the time. Sam was certain even a stranger might feel the same way he did just staring at Dean.
“I think you’re cute too, Sammy.”
“We’re going to need to have a talk about you reading my mind.”
“Maybe.” Dean laughed. “Or maybe you could try to not think so loud. I can’t hear everything, just the things you want me to.”
“You think I want you to hear me thinking about how attractive you are?” Sam asked. “Because now I’m embarrassed.”
“Why?”
“Because we don’t say stuff like that.”
“We think it though. You’ve been thinking it for years, there’s nothing wrong with that. I have too. I think you’re very attractive and I’m in love with you.”
“Oh. Me too.”
“You’re embarrassed.” Dean laughed. “You’re funny.”
Sam was embarrassed only because he would never have thought he’d be telling Dean how attractive he thought he was or how attracted to him he was. They had said “I love you” and “I’m in love with you” but it didn’t happen a lot and Sam never said it as often as he wanted to. He’d be ending even sentence with those three words if he said all the things he was thinking.
While Dean was watching him Sam tried to think quietly until he was just whispering inside of his own head. He was whispering about a lot of very naughty things they had done together over the past year and about everything else he wanted to do. It was a little perverse and so exciting just to think about it that he got hard and sat up a little straighter.
“Wow.” Dean laughed.
“What?”
“You really wanna do that?”
“Which one?”
“You know.” Dean said as he narrowed his eyes. “That’s nasty. You’re nasty, Sammy.”
“Well…”
“We can if you want.” Dean smiled. “In the shower though.”
“You’re not really helping with the embarrassment.”
“You’re cute when you blush. I think you’re cute even if you want me to do that to you. Just uh, that’s as far as it goes, don’t ask me to…”
“Oh, Dean!” Sam yelled. “Come on.”
“Kinky little bastard.”
Dean grabbed his beer and raised an eyebrow while he drained the whole thing. That just made Sam blush more and curse himself for having any thoughts especially deviant sexual ones. As interested as he was in the empty beer bottle, Sam decided to change the subject entirely because he still had some questions. He trusted him completely, but a few things were bugging him.
“Go ahead.” Dean said as he opened another beer. “How many beers should I have? Three?”
“I’m going to regret this the rest of my life.”
“Probably.” Dean laughed. “And I might like it, we might have to do it all the time.”
“Anyway, um, that guy who delivered the pizza, why did he come back?”
“He was supposed to. Whether I killed him or if he drove off the road eventually, he had to die.”
“None of the other demons you killed at the house came back.”
“They weren’t supposed to.”
“Okay.” Sam nodded. “So how many people that we’re going to kill are going to come back?”
“Very few, just a handful.”
“And how many people are we going to have on our side?”
“About fifty.” Dean shrugged. “Somewhere around there.”
“Fifty against a thousand?”
“Fifty-two.” Dean laughed. “I have you and Bobby. I have a plan.”
“Which is?”
“Well, we’ll be able to see the demons that will come back, so we’ll kill them first and they’ll come back in the middle of the crowd, that way we can keep our distance and pick them off one at a time.”
Dean sounded like he was describing some old school war tactics where both sides just rushed at each other. Modern wars weren’t fought like that. They were all about staying hidden and sneaking up on the enemy. To rush in seemed a little reckless and dangerous, but Sam was still trusting him.
“And all these angels can kill a demon with any gun?”
“Any weapon, I’m hoping we won’t have to get close. You can have The Colt and the knife just in case.”
“What about Bobby?” Sam asked. “He wants to be apart of this, he’s going to need something.”
“I’m going to kill Bobby before we start this.”
Sam was about to take a sip of his beer when he put down the bottle and just stared at Dean. Again he had said something devastating and didn’t seem fazed by it at all. In fact he almost looked happy that he was going to kill the closest thing they had to a father. Bobby was the only family they had left and killing him wasn’t something Sam could get behind no matter how much he trusted Dean.
“You’re going to kill Bobby?”
“Yeah.”
“I can’t…”
“He’ll come back, Sammy. I’d rather kill him then let something get to him first.”
“No.”
“It’s not your choice.”
“It’s not yours either. I don’t care if God did tell you to do this, I’m not letting you kill Bobby, what would dad say about that?”
“Who do you think told me to kill him, Sam?”
“Dad told you to kill Bobby?” Sam asked. “He told you to kill me too.”
“And he also told me I don’t have to anymore. This isn’t your choice.”
“So what, you’re just going to wait for him to show up and shoot him?” Sam asked. “Like you did the pizza guy?”
“I’ve talked to him about this. I’m going to do this, he’ll see his wife and dad and when he comes back he’ll be ready to fight. You don’t have to agree with me, there’s a reason I’m in charge.”
“This is insane. I can believe I saw God today, I can believe that every thing that seeps out of your body tastes like sugar. I can believe that you smell like flowers all the time, but I cannot stand by you if you’re going to kill Bobby.”
“God tested Abraham.”
“You’re not God!” Sam yelled.
“I’m the closest thing this world has. If after our entire lives you can’t trust me then you need to leave, Sam. This is your test of faith. Trust me.”
“It’s Bobby.” Sam said as he shook his head. “He’s our best friend, Dean. How are you going to do this even if you know he’s coming back?”
“Because I know where he’s going. I’d kill you right now if I knew you’d go there and come back. You’ll have to wait until the end of your life to get there. I can give Bobby a few hours with the people he loves and I’m going to do it. You don’t have to help, you don’t have to be there, but if you’re fighting with me you have to trust me.”
“I want to.”
“Then do it.”
Sam wanted to more than anything, so he did. He had no idea what Dean’s experience in heaven really was, he only heard a little about it, but it certainly seemed like something worth dying for. It wasn’t his choice, it was Bobby’s and if he was fine with being killed for the greater good, Sam couldn’t say anything about it.
When he nodded Dean got up from where he was sitting and sat next to him on the other side of the table. He wrapped him up in his arms and let him mourn the loss of the only family they had left before he even died. Sam was going to have to mourn in advance just to make it a little easier.
“I love you.”
“Me too.” Sam sighed. “Is Bobby coming tonight? Is he your second in command?”
“No. He is.”
Dean nodded towards the back of the cabin and the figure walking towards them. His second in command had arrived and Sam’s faith was tested yet again. It seemed like God and Dean were trying their hardest to shake his faith. Killing Bobby was one thing, but as soon as Sam was on his way to dealing with that he was blindsided again.
As he walked towards them Dean hugged Sam and little harder before he turned to face the house. Sam was expecting a great warrior, maybe someone like Bobby who would always put everyone else above himself, but what he got was the furthest possible thing from that at least based on appearance alone.
“Hi.” Dean smiled.
“Are you Dean?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“You must be Sam.”
“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “What’s your name?”
“Eric, it’s very nice to meet you both.”
Dean shook his hand first and then somehow Sam managed to do the same despite his shock and utter confusion. He seemed very nice and extremely polite. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain blue shirt. His shoes were covered in dust and he looked a little tired. His clear blues eyes were a little droopy as he stood there and smiled at them.
“We would have picked you up.”
“I like to walk.” Eric shrugged. “It’s nice around here, lot of things to look at.”
“Where’d you walk from?” Sam asked.
“Maine.”
“Maine?” Sam asked. “That’s a really long way.”
“Well, I like to walk. May I have a glass of water?”
“Yeah.” Dean smiled. “How about a coke? We have some pizza left over, you hungry?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Call me Dean, I’ll go get that for you.”
“Thank you.”
Dean patted him on the shoulder before he ran back into the cabin to get him something to drink and some food. Sam couldn’t stop staring even though he realized how rude it must have looked. Eric didn’t seem to mind though, he smiled at him and then took the other side of the table so they were sitting face to face.
“He seems nice.”
“He is.” Sam nodded. “You know what’s going on?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“Can I stay here?” Eric asked. “I don’t have anywhere else to go and I’m pretty tired.”
“Of course you can.” Sam said. “You have nowhere else to go?”
“No.”
“Where are your parents?”
“Heaven, with yours.”
“Eric.” Sam sighed. “How old are you?”
“I’ll be eight in November.”
Title: 1000 Strong.
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean, OMC, Lillith
Rating :R
Words:7,600/16,100
Warnings: Wincest, blood, violence, OC death.
Summary: Sam's faith is tested as Dean's second in command arrives.
Notes:: Rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Spoilers for season 3
Feedback: Makes me hard
Dean was supposed to have soldiers for his war, but Sam wasn’t entirely sure what they were. They treated him like the second coming and he spoke to them like he was addressing his congregation. He spoke to them about his theories regarding philosophy and theology and they listening with baited breath kneeling at his feet. He was a shepherd and they were his flock ready and willing to die for the cause.
If it was anyone else Sam would have been terrified about such unconditional, fanatical, devotion, but it was Dean and as scary as the world had gotten he had never felt safer. He felt warm all the time and his senses were constantly thrown into overdrive no matter what Dean did. If he touched him even if it wasn’t sexual every nerve ending in Sam’s body would pulse. His nostrils were raw sometimes from smelling the scent wafting off his body and when Sam tasted him he’d lose himself and the whole world would fade away.
It wasn’t just his come. It was spit, sweat, tears and even a little blood. Sam had yet to suck him off without giving himself an orgasm as soon as he came in his mouth. It was amazing, better than ever before, but all of Dean was better. His sweat was sweet like honey with vague floral notes that danced across Sam’s tongue. His spit was laced with sugar and made Sam salivate like one of Pavlov’s dogs. Dean had cried and bled from a clumsy moment with a razor and Sam relished everything and held it in his mouth.
After he came back Dean changed slowly. It started when they met his first three soldiers and went on through the next week. His soldiers were devoted to him and one had offered up a cabin in the wood to serve as a base camp for their cause. They seemed to know everything about what was going on without Dean having to explain. They just knew who he was and what he needed and one of the first things was shelter.
The cabin was in upstate New York and isolated enough that Dean could have the peace he needed. That was one of the first things Sam noticed about how he changed. He craved quiet and solitude so he could think and be calm. Sam felt like he was intruding at first until Dean reminded him that he couldn’t be calm without him there.
The second thing he noticed happed the day after their first night in the cabin. They had gone in with a few bags of groceries and not much else. It was furnished inside, but the outside wasn’t very attractive. It just rustic like cabins were supposed to be with a spray of dead grass and a few wilting bushes. Sam distinctly remembered the lack of landscaping when they pulled up and on Sunday morning when he woke up it had been transformed.
It wasn’t anything a person had done, or anything an individual would have even been capable of overnight. The entire landscape had changed and the earth blossomed beneath Dean’s feet. The grass grew in rich darks shades of green. All the hard compacted dirt had softened and deepened in color. All around them plants came out of the ground and blossomed with sweet smelling flowers dripping from winding vines that climbed over the porch and wrapped themselves around the columns. It had just been hours and somehow Dean had managed to change the world, he had influenced nature and brought it back to life.
He was just as shocked as Sam was because he wasn’t expecting such verdant growth but he thought it was beautiful and even inspirational which was what life was all about. Dean had changed a lot, but he was still himself since he was constantly cracking jokes about an idea he had for a television show called “Fucked By An Angel.” They weren’t really fucking though, they were having sex, but it was hardly fucking anymore. Before Dean died sometimes it was quick, rough, and just painful enough to be pleasant. After he came back he took hours and worshiped Sam like the good lord had taught him. It wasn’t just getting to an orgasm, it was enjoying the trip and taking it as slowly as possible.
Normally Sam might have complained or at least mentioned how much time they were spending between the sheets, but it was too damn good. Most of the time he could barely even remember his own name let alone how to speak fully formed words and ideas. It was incredible and during those hours together in bed Sam felt closer to Dean and God than he ever had before.
A lot about Dean had changed, but Sam didn’t realize how severe it really was until they were on the porch staring at all the new growth that had sprung up over night. Bobby had headed back home to do a little research and all of Dean’s soldiers that they had met were waiting in their own homes. They were alone and it was Sunday morning which meant they had to give thanks to God.
When Dean said it Sam thought he was hearing things. He looked away from all the flowers and studied Dean’s face to see if he was joking, but he looked as calm and composed as ever. He looked so peaceful like having the weight of the world on his shoulders wasn’t bothering him at all.
“Uh, I think there’s a church in town.”
“We’re in a church, Sammy. Let’s take a walk.”
That was the philosophy and theology shining through again. Dean was reminding him that God didn’t live in a building. He was the air they breathed, the ground underfoot and the sky above them. It was Sunday, their holy day which made Sam a little confused because they had spent much of the night wrapped up in each other sweating and coming. According to the bible what the did was wrong. The good book specifically said that two men shouldn’t lie together like they had been doing for a year.
“I think the good book is missing some pages.”
“Do you?” Sam asked.
“Do you think there’s something wrong with us loving each other?”
“No.”
“Do you think God does?” Dean asked. “Do you think he seems human bodies walking the earth, or does he see beating hearts?”
“Hearts I would hope.” Sam said as he followed Dean off the porch. “I don’t know him personally.”
“I do.”
“Where are we going, Dean?”
“To the river Sammy, I’m thinkin’ about jumping in.”
It wasn’t really a river and it certainly wasn’t deep enough to jump into. Sam thought it was more of a stream that ran around the cabin and then emptied out into a small like a few miles down the road. Little streams like that functioned like veins running from one body to another. Sam had wanted to check it out, but when they arrived Dean was more concerned with making sure the cabin was adequate.
They had always stayed in motels, but the new Dean couldn’t deal with them anymore. They were too filthy and too many sins had been committed inside the walls. He liked the cabin much better because a family lived there sometimes and they loved each other. He still asked Sam for some help cleaning it up though, just so they could get a little closer to God.
Sam wasn’t prepared for how close they were about to get until they made it to the stream and Dean started to undress himself. They were in the middle of nowhere and the cabin was set on a dozen acres so they had privacy, but he was still a little shocked. Dean took off his jacket first and folded it neatly before he took off his shirt and undershirt and finally his jeans. When he was just standing in his underwear he smiled at Sam and waited.
When he didn’t do anything Dean took off his underwear and stood at the side of the stream completely naked. Sam wasn’t sure why he was so hesitant to get undressed, it sort of seemed like a bad idea when they could be ambushed at any minute by a whole army of demons coming to finish the job.
“Do you want me to do it for you?”
“I can do it.” Sam said as he took off his jacket. “I just don’t know why we need to be naked.”
“No shame in the garden, Sammy.”
Sam looked back at the cabin and decided that Dean hadn’t led him astray yet. He had always listened to him and he was going to keep doing it. He stripped down to nothing and then stood at the stream next to Dean and watched the water flow. It was so clear Sam could see their reflection it in, both naked and more vulnerable than ever.
“Take my hand.”
“Okay.”
Sam smiled and slipped his hand into Dean’s before they walked into the stream. Right in the middle there was a little embankment, a build up of stones that they sat upon. The water was cold but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. That was something else Sam attributed to Dean. The water was just up to their waists as they sat down facing each other. Dean’s back was to the current and Sam was across from him with the same love struck dumb grin on his face.
“God said let there be light, let there air and space. Let there be land and trees. He made Adam from the dust of the earth and set him in the garden to name all his creatures. He named one dove and another hare. He named a tree olive and tasted of it’s fruit. On the seventh day God rested.”
“He kicked him out too.”
“After he was tainted by the serpent. You ever wonder what life could be like if they hadn’t strayed from God’s light, Sammy?”
“No.”
“Me neither.” Dean laughed. “How are you today?”
“I’m okay.”
“You think I’m crazy.”
“Sometimes.”
There was no use in saying he didn’t because Sam had thought it more than once. The things Dean said we just so unbelievable sometimes. It seemed like he was plucking random ideas out of the sky and just letting them rush through his perfect lips. Even if he was crazy, Sam still trusted him with his life. He trusted him with the world just like the rest of Dean’s disciples.
“Sammy, I want you to ask for God’s forgiveness.”
“For what?”
“The people you’ve killed, the lives you’ve taken.”
“They were all…”
“I know that, but they were still people. If you ask he’ll forgive you.”
Sam prayed every night but he never asked for forgiveness for the lives he had taken. He didn’t think he deserved it but Dean obviously did so Sam closed his eyes and had a conversation with God while sitting in the stream naked with an angel.
He had a very casual relationship with God, one that wasn’t mired in tradition. He liked to just talk sometimes and hope that he was listening. Sam asked for forgiveness for the lives he took. He asked for guidance in troubles times and a little bit of light in the darkness. He wanted forgiveness and he had always thought that if he really meant it he would get it and be absolved of his sins.
“Now open your eyes.”
Sam opened them slowly one eye at a time and then felt like the whole world was watching him. He felt such love in his heart with the sun shining over head and Dean smiling at him. They were no longer alone either. A solitary deer was making it’s way towards them with the softest kindest eyes Sam had ever seen. He felt such peace just looking at it. He had been in the presence of something holy since Dean came back and now he was face to face with God.
“It’s beautiful.” Sam said.
“All around us, Sam. God is everywhere.”
The deer walked over and right into the stream. Sam was expecting it to walk on water but Dean quickly reminded him that was Jesus and not God. He still made him laugh even when he was pointing out all the beauty in the world.
Dean cupped his hands together and brought up some water for the deer to drink. Any other animal would have approached with caution or not at all, but they weren’t in the presence of any normal animal. It dropped it’s mouth into Dean’s hands and lapped at the water. It even waited for him to get some more so it could have a second drink. It’s fur was so shiny and smooth Sam had to reach out and run his fingers along the light brown hairs and little patches of white.
“Like Bambi.”
“Yeah.” Dean laughed. “A little like Bambi.”
After it had it’s fill it walked right out of the stream and ran off into to trees surrounding them. Sam felt so calm, but much of that had to do with Dean and not being in a presence of God for a few moments.
“Does he forgive me?”
“Of course he does, Sam. By taking one life, how many did you save? How many people are alive right now because the people we’ve killed aren’t?”
“I don’t know.” Sam shrugged. “Why do I need to ask for forgiveness if I’ve done the right thing?”
“Because I want you in heaven.”
“What was it like?”
“Warm.” Dean laughed. “You’ll see one day. You stick by me it’s like having a VIP pass. Now do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
“Close your eyes.”
Sam closed his eyes and all he could see was the darkness of his eyelids. There was a little light seeping in, but that even started to fade as he felt Dean’s hands hold his. He was running his fingertips over his palms and keeping him safe in the rushing water.
“You’ve got to be brave.”
“I am.” Sam whispered. “You make me brave.”
“You need to be braver than I can make you, Sam. You need to fight in this war like I’m not here.”
“Why would you…”
“Open your eyes.”
When Dean whispered Sam did open his eyes and realized he was right. He needed to be a hell of a lot braver, braver than he ever thought he could be. In the few seconds his eyes had closed the demon army had surrounded them. They were all hovering black masses blocking out the sun like rain clouds. Dean had estimated two hundred, but there were thousands of them swirling around, screeching and clawing at each other.
“Oh my God.”
“Stay calm.” Dean whispered. “They can’t hurt us.”
“Where did they come from?”
“She opened the gate Sam. I was alone in hell because they all got out. Every one of these demons will set up shop in a body and we’ll have to kill those people.”
“It’s…”
“Thousands. You needed to ask for forgiveness so we can have a blank slate before we do this.”
“Did you know?” Sam asked. “Did you know she opened the gate?”
“Someone told me.”
“Who?”
“My boss.”
Sam looked at the swarm of demons and just as quickly as they appeared they all ran scared as the deer came back out of the woods. Sam wasn’t sure if they didn’t attack because they physically couldn’t or if it was because they were protected. All he knew was that they ran scared in the presence of God, all except one.
The form was just hovering above the ground, even though it didn’t have any real face or shape at all, Sam was sure it was watching them. She was watching them and just waiting.
“Lillith.”
“Yeah.” Dean whispered. “It’s kind of funny, isn’t it Sammy?”
“What?”
“Whole army of demons and she’s the only one still there. She’s the only one not scared, now stand up.”
Dean stood up first and she still waited, but once Sam was on his feet she headed for the hills. The deer left again and they were alone, naked in the stream as one angel and one man who was feared by a demon who wasn’t afraid of God.
“Sammy?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think they deliver pizza all the way out here?”
That night while Dean showered and waited for his pizza Sam made a call to Bobby to talk to him about the whole new army. He wanted to see what he thought since Dean wasn’t the least bit worried. He didn’t even seem to care about a thousand demons, he treated it like they were just a handful of rowdy teenagers which they could more than handle.
Sam however was terrified. Dean had told him not to be but he couldn’t really help it. Lillith had a thousand demons at her disposal and Dean had three seemingly ordinary people. She definitely had the advantage since demons didn’t need much of anything to kill a person and they currently only had two weapons, one that needed a close range attack and one that needed to be reloaded. It wasn’t like the demons would get into line and wait to be stabbed or shot.
At first Bobby was sure that Sam was exaggerating the number since he couldn’t imagine a thousand demons getting out of hell and no one knowing about it. If anything Sam thought he was low balling the number. It could have been two thousand or maybe even five. They were all overlapping and had enveloped them in one black bubble that blocked out the sky above them.
Sam was sure Dean had a plan, but he hadn’t shared it yet and unless he had a magical armory somewhere he wasn’t sure how they were supposed to take out that many demons without suffering massive causalities. It just wasn’t something they could do with two weapons no matter how many people they had. Even if they eventually outnumbered Lillith’s army she still had a rather serious advantage.
Bobby decided that they had to trust Dean. Not only did he have divine guidance but he’d never put anyone in danger, at least the old Dean wouldn’t have. Sam was a little concerned about who might end up being expendable in the war to save the world. If he was willing to kill thousands of people Sam had to think that he might be okay with letting more than a few die on their side.
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.” Sam sighed. “I mean whenever he decides we’re ready to do this how do we know any of us are going to make it out alive?”
“You wouldn’t die to save the world?” Bobby asked. “He told us we’d make it. How can you doubt him, Sam?”
“I don’t, I’m just worried about how we’re supposed to do this and what the cost will end up being.”
Dying to save the world was a little easier to handle with the promise of an actual afterlife with his family and friends, but Sam wasn’t sure if he was ready to die so young. Dean had said they’d make it, but Sam didn’t know if he actually meant it. Very few people would lead an army by telling them that in the end they might be dead. Sam trusted him, he really did but not being concerned was just stupid.
If he was given a choice he’d probably gladly die to save the world, but he was one person. He couldn’t speak for the rest of Dean’s soldiers or the people who Lillith’s army was occupying. They were just innocent people who would have to die since there wasn’t any other way that he knew of to kill a demon.
“Just trust him.”
“I do.”
“It doesn’t sound that way to me.” Bobby laughed. “Sounds like doubt.”
“It’s caution. He’s changed, Bobby. He’s fanatical about keeping everything clean and he asked me to ask God for forgiveness today.”
“Maybe you should.”
“What?”
“Listen, Sam, I don’t pretend to completely understand what’s going on, but you should be thankful that you’re both alive and he’s not in hell. Trust him.”
“I saw God today.”
“I see God everyday.
Sam felt like he was going crazy. He could handle Dean talking in riddles, but when Bobby started to do it, he got a little more concerned. He had faith, especially in Dean, but blind faith was dangerous and there was no telling where that would get them.
After they hung up Sam paced the living room for a second before he decided to take Bobby’s advice and just trust him. The three soldiers they had met were completely devoted to Dean and would have gladly died to win the war. The people they’d have to kill would ensure that the would was a safer place and Sam liked to think that they might be okay with that if they knew. Most of them would probably be dead already and just puppets made out of meat.
“Stop worrying.” Dean said as he walked into the living room. “I told you not to worry. Bobby isn’t worried.”
“Bobby didn’t just see so many demons that it looked like midnight.”
“He also didn’t see all them scatter, you did Sammy. Please have a little faith.”
“I have faith, I’m just scared.”
“That’s fine.” Dean sighed. “I’m telling you there’s nothing to be scared of. Few weeks this will all be over. We can live here Sam, we can just ignore everything else and get a dog if you want.”
“What do you mean?” Sam asked. “We’re just going to settle down and live in the woods?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Because we have a job to do.”
“And in a few weeks we won’t. We’re tipping the scales, Sam. When I’m done there won’t be anything left to hunt.”
“And how many people are going to die to have that happen?”
“Thousands.”
He said it with such ease, like he was answering a question about whether he wanted a beer or to watch some television. It didn’t bother him at all that the body count was going to be massive. That was mostly what Sam was having a problem with. People were going to die. The man who owned the cabin they were living in might not make it out alive. The mother who came back to life after a car accident might not go home to her children and that broke Sam’s heart.
“Over three hundred thousand people died in Vietnam. Millions died during World War Two, I think a few hundred bodies isn’t that bad.”
“How do you even know that?” Sam asked.
“The same way I know that everything is going to be fine if you just have a little faith.”
“It’s just not fair. Those demons are going to go into innocent people. They’re going to possess fathers and mother.”
“And their children will one day know why their parents died. It’s sacrifice Sam. I had a conversation about it. I can guarantee that when these people die they’ll know they died to make the world a better place.”
“A conversation with who?” Sam asked. “God?”
“Dad.”
“You didn’t tell me…”
“I’m telling you now.” Dean said as he walked towards him. “He did what he had to do. He expects us to do the same. We’ll kill these people, we’ll mourn the loss and then ask for forgiveness. We’ll see all of them again one day.”
“What did he tell you?”
“That he was pissed off.” Dean laughed. “Pissed off and proud. He said one day you’ll remember what he told you.”
“What he told me?”
“When you died, Sammy.” Dean said as he stared at the ground. “He told you something when you were up there.”
“I was in heaven?”
“Yeah.”
“And I’ll get back there one day?” Sam asked. “I’ll get to see mom and dad, Jess?”
“Yes, if you have faith.”
Sam nodded and then rushed over to him. Just being around Dean gave him all the faith he could ever need and then some. He was so calming and strong that Sam was going to just ignore everything that would eventually happen and trust that Dean and his big boss in the sky knew what they were doing.
He hadn’t remembered dying, so it was no surprise that he had no idea what happened afterwards. If Dean said he was in heaven he was going to believe it and try his hardest to remember whatever words of wisdom John had told him. He was going to fight and as hard as it was to accept the losses they’d be worth it for the utopia Dean had promised.
If they really would be done in a few weeks they’d have the rest of the lives to just hang out together and maybe not even worry about real jobs or any responsibilities. After so much bullshit their lives could be perfect and they could grow old together like he thought they’d never be able to.
“I like hugs.”
“You do?” Sam laughed. “You like a lot of new things.”
“I’m still me, Sammy.”
“I know, it’s just different. You just took a shower and I can’t smell soap at all. I just smell the flowers, the life.”
“You like how I taste too.”
“Always did.”
“Really?” Dean asked as he back away. “Even before?”
“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “It’s you, how could I not?”
“You’re a charmer and I’m starving. Pizza’s here.”
“Really?”
“Yep. You wanna know how we’re going to win this war?”
“What?”
“Watch, Sammy. Demon delivery in thirty minutes or less.”
When the knock came at the door Dean pointed to the sofa and Sam sat down right away because he trusted him. He wasn’t going to question anything else no matter what happened. As he watched Dean answer the door he realized how foolish he was to think that right when something that demanded answers happened.
The delivery driver was a young man, twenty years old maybe. He looked completely ordinary, but Dean was looking past his face to what was sleeping inside. It was a clever disguise and if Sam had passed him on the street he wouldn’t have know any better, but Dean did.
Obviously he was working on his own or Lillith had sent him as a test to see how far Dean was willing to go to get to her. He was young, he had his whole life ahead of him, but that didn’t matter to Dean because he knew what was waiting for him on the other side.
Before the driver could even say how much they owed him or attack, Dean pulled his gun out the back of his jeans and fired. He had aimed directly for the center of the man’s head and blew out the back of his skull with one bullet. Sam very quickly stood up and watched as Dean grabbed the pizza so it wouldn’t fall. It was almost funny that he kept his priorities straight when he had just killed someone who was basically just a kid.
The crackle was quick as he slumped down. His body actually fell into the house and Sam’s stomach twisted when he saw the hollow mess that was what was left of the back of his head. He was gushing blood everywhere as those last few sparks stopped and his body was no longer twitching. Dean had shot him point blank and that wasn’t the most shocking thing.
Dean had killed him with his own personal gun and not The Colt. It had done the same thing The Colt would have and killed a demon no problem which was something Sam didn’t even think was possible and wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own two wide eyes.
“You killed him.” Sam whispered.
“Yep.”
“How did you do that?”
“Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.” Dean smiled. “See, I get me an assault rifle and mow all those fuckers down at once.”
“So any weapon you hold can kill a demon?”
“Yep.”
“Well that helps.” Sam sighed. “Poor kid.”
“Don’t feel bad for him Sammy.”
“How can I not?”
“Just don’t.”
Sam wasn’t looking forward to dealing with a body, a car, and a whole river of blood in the living room. It seemed a little irresponsible to kill him even if he was a demon because he was at their house delivering a pizza and when he turned up missing the police were bound to come knocking.
Dean didn’t look worried at all, in fact he had a smile on his face while he walked to the coffee table to set the box down and placed his gun on top of it. He had just killed someone and he was just fine with that and the dead body made Sam a little nauseous.
Of course the back of someone’s blown out skull was actually easy to deal with when compared to the sight of it pulling itself back together. Sam felt like he was going to be sick all over the poor guy as his brain filled itself back in and the shattered bits of skull bridged the gaps left by the bullet. His skin stretched over the exposed bone and then his hair sprouted again before he stood up and dusted off his shirt.
He was covered in blood, all over the back of his shirt. The porch and the living room were covered with slow spreading lakes, but he was just fine and smiled at both of them like they were long lost friends.
“Hi, Dean.”
“Hello.” Dean said as he shook his hand. “You okay?”
“Yeah, thank you.”
“No problem. You ever want to talk, this is where we are.”
“I’ll be fine.” He laughed. “Call me when you’re ready.”
“I will, thank you.”
He shook Sam’s hand next and then accepted twenty dollars for the pizza he had delivered. Dean was frowning at the blood but he smiled as he walked away. They were officially four soldiers strong up against a thousand, but all that could wait because Dean had a pizza with his name on it.
Sam followed him to the sofa and took a few bites of one piece, but he couldn’t eat when there was so much blood and when he was sure he was in the middle of a very vivid dream.
“Sammy?”
“Yeah?”
“Save some pizza, okay?”
“Sure.” Sam nodded. “Why?”
“My second in command will be here in a few hours. He might be hungry.” Dean said. “Fucking blood, right after I had my shower.”
“I’ll, uh, I can clean it up.”
“I’ll help, Sammy.” Dean smiled. “We can do it together.”
The cabin was originally a very utilitarian hunting cabin where a few guys could get together and have a place to shower and sleep at the end of the day. That was it’s original purpose until Ed, one of Dean’s soldiers, bought it and gutting the entire thing. He turned it into a much nicer space that he could spend a few weeks at during the summer and maybe for holidays.
He had done a very good job on the renovation because there wasn’t any evidence that it had ever been utilitarian. It still wasn’t lavish, but it was comfortable and if it was theirs free and clear Sam would have been happy to call it his home. It was isolated but the drive into town was nice and at least they knew they could pizza delivered if they wanted to.
The kitchen was a decent size, more than enough for two guys who couldn’t cook to save their lives. It had a large bathroom downstairs which harkened back to when it was built for a group of men. Sam figured a few years ago it probably had urinals and stalls but it had all be replaced with a glass enclosed shower, one single toilet and a large sunken tub that Dean was very happy with.
The lower level had one bedroom that was quite small but adequate and the loft above the living room held their bed which Dean had started to refer to as their bedroom. They had an honest to God bedroom in their very own house and even if they both had to die to get it Sam was still pretty giddy about the whole thing.
The cabin was set on numerous acres but it had a proper backyard with some very rustic furniture and a little built in pit which made Dean happy as well. He was pretty sure if he bought some ribs he could cook them out there, he even thought that they could maybe have a barbeque and invite Bobby if he wanted to come.
After they each had a few slices of pizza they went into the backyard armed with Dean’s gun and a six pack of beer. Sam had joked about how angels shouldn’t be drinking, but Dean just reminded him that no one was that holy and he was pretty sure that God cracked open a bottle every now and then maybe on a Sunday like they were.
It was nice outside after the sun set. It was getting warmer, but the night’s were cool and Sam was comfortable. Dean mentioned being a little sticky, but he could always remedy that with another shower and if he had some company that wouldn’t be so bad. He had already taken three since he woke up, which had Sam a little worried because he only really needed one in the morning. Sam hadn’t taken a shower after they cleaned up the blood because he didn’t really get any on him. They just hosed off the porch and mopped inside after Dean pushed around a whole roll of paper towels. He liked to be clean and if he needed ten showers a day that was fine with Sam and he was certainly interested in maybe joining him for his last shower of the day so they could get a little dirty before they got clean.
While Dean sipped at his beer and just kind of stared out at the land, Sam couldn’t stop watching him. He had always been unfairly attractive, but now was bordering on absurd. His physical self was spectacular but once he had everything to go along with it, Sam could barely blink when he was around him. He didn’t think he felt that way just because they were in a relationship together and he got to see all the best parts of him all the time. Sam was certain even a stranger might feel the same way he did just staring at Dean.
“I think you’re cute too, Sammy.”
“We’re going to need to have a talk about you reading my mind.”
“Maybe.” Dean laughed. “Or maybe you could try to not think so loud. I can’t hear everything, just the things you want me to.”
“You think I want you to hear me thinking about how attractive you are?” Sam asked. “Because now I’m embarrassed.”
“Why?”
“Because we don’t say stuff like that.”
“We think it though. You’ve been thinking it for years, there’s nothing wrong with that. I have too. I think you’re very attractive and I’m in love with you.”
“Oh. Me too.”
“You’re embarrassed.” Dean laughed. “You’re funny.”
Sam was embarrassed only because he would never have thought he’d be telling Dean how attractive he thought he was or how attracted to him he was. They had said “I love you” and “I’m in love with you” but it didn’t happen a lot and Sam never said it as often as he wanted to. He’d be ending even sentence with those three words if he said all the things he was thinking.
While Dean was watching him Sam tried to think quietly until he was just whispering inside of his own head. He was whispering about a lot of very naughty things they had done together over the past year and about everything else he wanted to do. It was a little perverse and so exciting just to think about it that he got hard and sat up a little straighter.
“Wow.” Dean laughed.
“What?”
“You really wanna do that?”
“Which one?”
“You know.” Dean said as he narrowed his eyes. “That’s nasty. You’re nasty, Sammy.”
“Well…”
“We can if you want.” Dean smiled. “In the shower though.”
“You’re not really helping with the embarrassment.”
“You’re cute when you blush. I think you’re cute even if you want me to do that to you. Just uh, that’s as far as it goes, don’t ask me to…”
“Oh, Dean!” Sam yelled. “Come on.”
“Kinky little bastard.”
Dean grabbed his beer and raised an eyebrow while he drained the whole thing. That just made Sam blush more and curse himself for having any thoughts especially deviant sexual ones. As interested as he was in the empty beer bottle, Sam decided to change the subject entirely because he still had some questions. He trusted him completely, but a few things were bugging him.
“Go ahead.” Dean said as he opened another beer. “How many beers should I have? Three?”
“I’m going to regret this the rest of my life.”
“Probably.” Dean laughed. “And I might like it, we might have to do it all the time.”
“Anyway, um, that guy who delivered the pizza, why did he come back?”
“He was supposed to. Whether I killed him or if he drove off the road eventually, he had to die.”
“None of the other demons you killed at the house came back.”
“They weren’t supposed to.”
“Okay.” Sam nodded. “So how many people that we’re going to kill are going to come back?”
“Very few, just a handful.”
“And how many people are we going to have on our side?”
“About fifty.” Dean shrugged. “Somewhere around there.”
“Fifty against a thousand?”
“Fifty-two.” Dean laughed. “I have you and Bobby. I have a plan.”
“Which is?”
“Well, we’ll be able to see the demons that will come back, so we’ll kill them first and they’ll come back in the middle of the crowd, that way we can keep our distance and pick them off one at a time.”
Dean sounded like he was describing some old school war tactics where both sides just rushed at each other. Modern wars weren’t fought like that. They were all about staying hidden and sneaking up on the enemy. To rush in seemed a little reckless and dangerous, but Sam was still trusting him.
“And all these angels can kill a demon with any gun?”
“Any weapon, I’m hoping we won’t have to get close. You can have The Colt and the knife just in case.”
“What about Bobby?” Sam asked. “He wants to be apart of this, he’s going to need something.”
“I’m going to kill Bobby before we start this.”
Sam was about to take a sip of his beer when he put down the bottle and just stared at Dean. Again he had said something devastating and didn’t seem fazed by it at all. In fact he almost looked happy that he was going to kill the closest thing they had to a father. Bobby was the only family they had left and killing him wasn’t something Sam could get behind no matter how much he trusted Dean.
“You’re going to kill Bobby?”
“Yeah.”
“I can’t…”
“He’ll come back, Sammy. I’d rather kill him then let something get to him first.”
“No.”
“It’s not your choice.”
“It’s not yours either. I don’t care if God did tell you to do this, I’m not letting you kill Bobby, what would dad say about that?”
“Who do you think told me to kill him, Sam?”
“Dad told you to kill Bobby?” Sam asked. “He told you to kill me too.”
“And he also told me I don’t have to anymore. This isn’t your choice.”
“So what, you’re just going to wait for him to show up and shoot him?” Sam asked. “Like you did the pizza guy?”
“I’ve talked to him about this. I’m going to do this, he’ll see his wife and dad and when he comes back he’ll be ready to fight. You don’t have to agree with me, there’s a reason I’m in charge.”
“This is insane. I can believe I saw God today, I can believe that every thing that seeps out of your body tastes like sugar. I can believe that you smell like flowers all the time, but I cannot stand by you if you’re going to kill Bobby.”
“God tested Abraham.”
“You’re not God!” Sam yelled.
“I’m the closest thing this world has. If after our entire lives you can’t trust me then you need to leave, Sam. This is your test of faith. Trust me.”
“It’s Bobby.” Sam said as he shook his head. “He’s our best friend, Dean. How are you going to do this even if you know he’s coming back?”
“Because I know where he’s going. I’d kill you right now if I knew you’d go there and come back. You’ll have to wait until the end of your life to get there. I can give Bobby a few hours with the people he loves and I’m going to do it. You don’t have to help, you don’t have to be there, but if you’re fighting with me you have to trust me.”
“I want to.”
“Then do it.”
Sam wanted to more than anything, so he did. He had no idea what Dean’s experience in heaven really was, he only heard a little about it, but it certainly seemed like something worth dying for. It wasn’t his choice, it was Bobby’s and if he was fine with being killed for the greater good, Sam couldn’t say anything about it.
When he nodded Dean got up from where he was sitting and sat next to him on the other side of the table. He wrapped him up in his arms and let him mourn the loss of the only family they had left before he even died. Sam was going to have to mourn in advance just to make it a little easier.
“I love you.”
“Me too.” Sam sighed. “Is Bobby coming tonight? Is he your second in command?”
“No. He is.”
Dean nodded towards the back of the cabin and the figure walking towards them. His second in command had arrived and Sam’s faith was tested yet again. It seemed like God and Dean were trying their hardest to shake his faith. Killing Bobby was one thing, but as soon as Sam was on his way to dealing with that he was blindsided again.
As he walked towards them Dean hugged Sam and little harder before he turned to face the house. Sam was expecting a great warrior, maybe someone like Bobby who would always put everyone else above himself, but what he got was the furthest possible thing from that at least based on appearance alone.
“Hi.” Dean smiled.
“Are you Dean?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“You must be Sam.”
“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “What’s your name?”
“Eric, it’s very nice to meet you both.”
Dean shook his hand first and then somehow Sam managed to do the same despite his shock and utter confusion. He seemed very nice and extremely polite. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain blue shirt. His shoes were covered in dust and he looked a little tired. His clear blues eyes were a little droopy as he stood there and smiled at them.
“We would have picked you up.”
“I like to walk.” Eric shrugged. “It’s nice around here, lot of things to look at.”
“Where’d you walk from?” Sam asked.
“Maine.”
“Maine?” Sam asked. “That’s a really long way.”
“Well, I like to walk. May I have a glass of water?”
“Yeah.” Dean smiled. “How about a coke? We have some pizza left over, you hungry?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Call me Dean, I’ll go get that for you.”
“Thank you.”
Dean patted him on the shoulder before he ran back into the cabin to get him something to drink and some food. Sam couldn’t stop staring even though he realized how rude it must have looked. Eric didn’t seem to mind though, he smiled at him and then took the other side of the table so they were sitting face to face.
“He seems nice.”
“He is.” Sam nodded. “You know what’s going on?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“Can I stay here?” Eric asked. “I don’t have anywhere else to go and I’m pretty tired.”
“Of course you can.” Sam said. “You have nowhere else to go?”
“No.”
“Where are your parents?”
“Heaven, with yours.”
“Eric.” Sam sighed. “How old are you?”
“I’ll be eight in November.”