(no subject)
I'm spiritually confused, testing out the waters because I wasn't raised with a faith, and am trying to figure out what my heart and my soul believe. This does NOT mean that I am looking to be converted to any religion - that is, in fact, the one thing I don't want to ever happen, nor do I think it ever could. I'm too skeptical, too questioning, too mistrusting of "blindly" following others or what a little book tells me. As confusing as it is, I follow my heart and soul because I know that they will not lead me on an empty journey. I may never know what I believe in, may never come to any final conclusions on any of it, but at least I have the comfort of knowing that whatever I end up believing stems from within, not from with-out.
I say all of this because last night I tried to explain to my friend (via AIM) that I was sad because of a few spiritual things I was dealing with - concerns I'm quite familiar with that surface on occasion and that I don't ever expect to be answered by anyone. When I told him this, his immediate reaction was to tell me to "read the Bible and trust in Him, the one true God." I don't think a millisecond passed by before my I was angry and offended down to my very soul.
I have always held extreme respect and reverence for people who have faith and believe in it wholeheartedly and have found their life's meaning in it. I respect and revere them because that is a state that I want in my life, and realize from an ongoing personal experience how hard it can be to come to that point in a life. I also have always had respect enough about others' faiths to, when they present a problem from a faith-based perspective, I will try my hardest to put myself in their shoes and see it through their eyes, their understanding, even if I wholeheartedly do not believe that way myself. So, when someone can't do the same for me - show the same respect for me in our differing beliefs, try to see things from my point of view, and respect our differences enough to not push their own beliefs onto me - I get angry. If there is one thing that I believe in unquestioningly is that you should treat others how you want to be treated, and because I do that for others - at least on a faith level - I expect the same treatment back in kind. When it doesn't happen, especially from a close friend, it hurts.
Last night I could have spat acid I was so angry at my friend. It wasn't so much that he was intolerant as much as he wasn't listening. I kept telling him I didn't want to read the Bible because it holds no meaning to me more than a good fairytale would. I've read parts, and that's all I ever come away with - a good fairytale. I'm sorry if that hurts others to hear it that way, I'm sorry if it hurt him to hear it that way, but it's the truth. It doesn't mean I don't see the validation it holds for people who follow Christ's word, it just means it doesn't hold validation in line with what my heart and soul tell me are the path to Truth. The same thing could be said if he were to push the Tamuld, the Torah, the Qu'ran, the Bhagvad Gita, or any other religious text upon me because I need to "try it" and see if I can be "convinced" by it.
...That all happened last night, and I still think I could spit acid over it. I just keep reminding myself of the way Hindus view religion: that there are many paths up a mountain, and no matter which one is taken, everyone eventually ends up at the same summit.
I say all of this because last night I tried to explain to my friend (via AIM) that I was sad because of a few spiritual things I was dealing with - concerns I'm quite familiar with that surface on occasion and that I don't ever expect to be answered by anyone. When I told him this, his immediate reaction was to tell me to "read the Bible and trust in Him, the one true God." I don't think a millisecond passed by before my I was angry and offended down to my very soul.
I have always held extreme respect and reverence for people who have faith and believe in it wholeheartedly and have found their life's meaning in it. I respect and revere them because that is a state that I want in my life, and realize from an ongoing personal experience how hard it can be to come to that point in a life. I also have always had respect enough about others' faiths to, when they present a problem from a faith-based perspective, I will try my hardest to put myself in their shoes and see it through their eyes, their understanding, even if I wholeheartedly do not believe that way myself. So, when someone can't do the same for me - show the same respect for me in our differing beliefs, try to see things from my point of view, and respect our differences enough to not push their own beliefs onto me - I get angry. If there is one thing that I believe in unquestioningly is that you should treat others how you want to be treated, and because I do that for others - at least on a faith level - I expect the same treatment back in kind. When it doesn't happen, especially from a close friend, it hurts.
Last night I could have spat acid I was so angry at my friend. It wasn't so much that he was intolerant as much as he wasn't listening. I kept telling him I didn't want to read the Bible because it holds no meaning to me more than a good fairytale would. I've read parts, and that's all I ever come away with - a good fairytale. I'm sorry if that hurts others to hear it that way, I'm sorry if it hurt him to hear it that way, but it's the truth. It doesn't mean I don't see the validation it holds for people who follow Christ's word, it just means it doesn't hold validation in line with what my heart and soul tell me are the path to Truth. The same thing could be said if he were to push the Tamuld, the Torah, the Qu'ran, the Bhagvad Gita, or any other religious text upon me because I need to "try it" and see if I can be "convinced" by it.
...That all happened last night, and I still think I could spit acid over it. I just keep reminding myself of the way Hindus view religion: that there are many paths up a mountain, and no matter which one is taken, everyone eventually ends up at the same summit.