You'll never see - the courage I know ( Read more... )

Things are a lot better than how they were my last entry. but it still sucks. I decided to stay, still am not feeling 100% on that decision, I dunno. Well anyway, going down to eugene for new years with some friends, should be a lot of fun hopefully!! but if not then Im going to morgs! that would be a lot of fun too, probably more actually, but I ( Read more... )

Devistated. I dont know how else to discribe how I feel. Everything in my life that I thought was real turns out to be bull shit. Lies are all that I have been told and all I know. I dont know whats real and I dont think I will ever beable to find the truth. How will I ever love again? How will I trust ever agian? I cant leave but at the same time ( Read more... )

Hey. Today was a bad day for everyone. I failed my big psychology test. Chris didn't call (not surprized on that one though) - although I have had a few 1 min calls the last 4 days. I mean, is a 10 min call really that agonizing to him? Thats like the best part of my day, getting a call from him, feeling like he cares. Oh well. Hes busy. I miss him ( Read more... )

Last night was... horrible, I think? I dont know but alot of shit went down that wasn't cool. I went to this huge house party with 6 friends and we were having a great time actually, tons and tons of free alcohol for everyone and it was just really fun dancing and hangingout. Well turns out two of my good friends were given gulps of vodka laced ( Read more... )

hey! Im finally settled in my awesome dorm room. oh and luckily I really like my roomate, shes awesome and shes gorgeous so she attracts TONS of guys which is nice hehe. well my room is alot bigger than I thought it would be! I have a couch and a tv and dvd player oh and a fridge and microwave. I really am surpized about the room size though, its ( Read more... )

So only 22 days until I leave for school. Im happy but at the same time dreading it. :o( im get really sad when I think about it and I just keep pushing it into the back of my mind but I guess I need to think about it sometime. I wonder if chris is feeling the same way. Good news though - Im going camping! at lost lake the 11th 12th and maybe 13th ( Read more... )

HEY EVERYBODY!   I am in such a good mood! dont know why, got like a total of 3 hours of sleep last night and Im gunna crash here soon but I just had to write. My aunt fixed the BEST margaritas tonight! yum yum yum :o) Im actually online cuz I was hoping chris would be on... his cell isn't in service right now so theres no way I can talk to him ( Read more... )

okay, seriously its been TOO LONG since ive written. And im not really sure why all the sudden I stopped writting... werid. Anyway so everythings been okay. Its 6:50am, ive been up since 4. I CANT SLEEP! My dads whole side of the family is here, which is alot of people cuz he comes from a family of 10 and all the kids are married and have at least ( Read more... )

chris would rather play video games (that he has been playing all day may I add) than talk to me and I havent talked to him all day :o( I tried to sleep but couldnt. My cousin got shot today in Iraq. He got shot twice, in the face and in the chest. Hes an army ranger. Hes only 20. Our family is so close and this will like tear everyone apart. I ( Read more... )