[Fan Fiction] Yunho, You Can't Act {One Shot}
Title: Yunho, You Can't Act
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: Errr. R? I'm not sure. Not for KIDS. Lulz.
Genre: Comedy/slightsmutbutnotenoughtocount (cough)
Notes: I'm sorry. Really, I am. LULZ. Pairing requested by Naty.
Disclaimer: They are not mine, and I probably shouldn't even claim this fic to be either because IDK what it says about my brain.
The street was dark. That was the first thing that caught Yunho's attention as he stepped out of the tall brick building, and he looked toward the sky in confusion. The streetlights had gone out while he was inside, apparently, leaving the already poorly-lit area in an inky darkness. Only one of the lamps in the area hadn't gone out, leaving it a shining beacon in the middle of a sea of black.
A thin figure lay in the circle of light it cast down to the street, streak of red blood visible all over it. Yunho's eyes widened in horror upon realising this, and he broke out into a sprint, sliding to a stop next to the unmoving figure and falling to his knees.
"JaeJoong-ah. JaeJoong-ah," he whimpered, hands floating precariously over the still body as if he weren't sure where to touch, lest he hurt the obviously bloodied man even more. He finally settled on grabbing at the shoulder, and he carefully turned the man's face toward him, slipping him up onto his legs. "JaeJoong-ah, wake up. Please, JaeJoong-ah. Oh god, please."
"CUT." The loud, annoyed voice carried down the street and Yunho looked up guiltily. In his arms, JaeJoong's eyes snapped open, and he let out an exasperated sigh and pushed away from his friend, fingers touching the bloody gash just under his eye. "Yunho, you're not saying your lines right. This is your best friend, and he's quite possibly dead. Put more feeling into it."
"S-sorry," Yunho replied, his face going red as he stood and brushed off his knees. "I'll try harder this time."
"Yunho," JaeJoong murmured, staring at the red on his fingertips before looking up at him. "See this cut on my face right here?" He indicated the slash, then plucked at the remains of a shirt they'd put on him. "And all these ones on me here? And that big puddle of blood? Try pretending that they're real. Okay? Pretend that I'm really dying."
Hard to pretend he was dying when he was sitting there on the ground covered in fake blood and grinning from ear to ear. Still, Yunho nodded, returning the smile even as he turned and went back to his mark to begin the scene again.
The set belonged to a dark action thriller called 'Fly by Night'. Yunho and JaeJoong had been cast as the main characters, a duo thrust into the world of vampire hunting. The storyline was, in Yunho's opinion, stereotypical and nothing fresh, but he'd taken the job anyway, upon JaeJoong's insistence. They were going to do it together, he'd demanded. With their faces at the forefront, the movie could never, ever flop. After all, they were U-Know Yunho and Youngwoong JaeJoong.
JaeJoong's character had all the makings of... well, a JaeJoong character. He was the harder of the two, more world-worn and withdrawn. Plus he got beaten up quite a few times throughout the script, which was a must for any part JaeJoong would even think of considering, for some reason. Yunho's character was the optimist, the ever-bright half of the pair that would stop at nothing to extinguish the vampires that had invaded their world. Together, they were like night and day, but it worked well for their purposes.
Except Yunho couldn't seem to get his part down. He would fumble lines, or withhold the emotions that were needed for a scene. They'd only been shooting for two weeks, but already the director grew more and more impatient with the Leader. For how could a leader be so bad at something he'd already done a few times before? Every time Yunho flubbed a scene, the director's shout of 'cut!' grew sharper and more ill-tempered. It was almost to the point where he was considering firing the man.
From a cannon.
With the day wrapping finally, the director exhausted beyond his wildest dreams at his stars, Yunho and JaeJoong cleaned themselves up and headed for home. Or what was temporarily home. Filming had taken them out of their native territory and separated them from the rest of their group; home was just too far to travel to and from the set every day, and so they'd been put up in an apartment nearby. By some miracle, their location wasn't overrun by insane fangirls, and the pair could even walk around without getting mobbed. If the town weren't so small, and if it had more to offer for entertainment, it would almost be paradise for them.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" JaeJoong asked, stretching his arms over his head, fingers laced together. The fake blood had all been washed off, and his longish hair was still a bit damp from the quick shower he'd taken at the studio. Normally, it would bother him, but since there was nobody around out here to harass them or take pictures as they walked past... it seemed safe enough to not look perfect all the time. Wide eyes looked expectantly at Yunho, who simply looked back, confused.
"Err... what?"
"Whatever's bothering you." Fingers came undone, and JaeJoong lowered his arms, making sure to give Yunho a good thwack in the back of his light-haired head. The part had called for blond, but they'd negotiated it to a light brown, for Yunho's sake. "You can't act, Yunho. You used to be good at it, and now you're forgetting lines and failing left and right."
Yunho shrugged, his face growing hot as he rubbed his head. He didn't know why he was screwing up so much. This wasn't his first time in front of a camera, after all. He'd done lo- well. Some acting. Before. It wasn't like he was green.
"Nothing's bothering me... I guess I just can't get into the part."
"Because?"
Eyes slanted sideways at the eager sound of the voice.
"I don't know."
JaeJoong's hand swung up and smacked the back of Yunho's head again, a little less gentle this time. The leader winced and swung his own arm at the smaller man; JaeJoong ducked out of the way, grinning. Impish little bastard, he was. Yunho frowned at him, obviously not enthused.
"You're afraid to be good at it." JaeJoong turned on the sidewalk, walking (almost skipping) backwards so he could watch Yunho's face for a reaction. "You don't want to be good at this part."
Not amused, Yunho stopped where he was, arms crossing over his chest and head tilting to one side as he set JaeJoong with a glare. The skipping stalled immediately, though the trollish look of glee on his face still lingered there. This only served to annoy Yunho more, and he started getting all huffy.
"Yah. Why would I not want to be good at my job?" He was defiant, unyielding. He really did want to be good at everything he did, after all. "I just can't get into the part, is all."
Good god, if JaeJoong's expression got any more elated, Yunho was going to lock him out of the apartment and make him sleep in the hall.
"You don't. I'm not surprised, though. You don't want to get into this part." JaeJoong leaned in conspiratorially. "You're afraid to. Because the characters are gay."
Yunho's face had never been quite this shade of red before. Once it reached its peak of reddness, it started right on over into purple, and the man started choking on air. Every accusation and excuse he wanted to throw back at JaeJoong made no sense. HE WAS NOT. He was not afraid to act the part of a gay character! Why would he be?! It wasn't as if... as if...
Silence.
...oh god.
He was right. HE WAS RIGHT. JaeJoong, the IRL troll, was totally and completely right. It was difficult for him because this character was gay, but not simply because of that. It was because it was with JaeJoong, of all people. Good god, if it would have been with Changmin or Junsu, or even Yoochun, they could have made fun of each other afterwards. But they all KNEW how JaeJoong was. He would take this so seriously that it would hurt. And Yunho's poor little heart couldn't take that.
"You're wrong."
Lies. LIES. He pushed past JaeJoong and even ran a little bit in his haste to get to the apartment before him. Just so he could lock the door. It was the best 'fuck you' he could send JaeJoong's way at the moment.
JaeJoong watched as his leader ran away, unable to control his hysterical laughter. And he was still giggling when he knocked on the neighbour's door and asked if he could sleep on their couch that night. Yunho wouldn't unlock the fucking door.
(What a bad leader omg lol)
When Yunho sauntered onto the set the next day, he could immediately tell that something was off. The set was drastically different from what they were supposed to be filming on; Yunho had marked in the script what they were meant to be doing, and this was not it. They were supposed to be set up at the living room, to film all the in-scenes. But instead, all the cameras were focused on... the bedroom set.
JaeJoong was already there, that demonic grin on his face. The set hands were already working him over, getting him ready for the completely wrong scene. JaeJoong had fake scars applied all over his torso, things which only needed to be in place for a few shirtless scenes and...
Yunho visibly paled.
"Took you long enough to get here," JaeJoong called with a little wave, leaning back in his seat as the makeup artist applied a rather violent-looking mark just below his belly button. "I almost thought you got afraid and decided to give up and quit."
The words were a challenge. And Yunho had tried his hardest to prepare for them. Shaking his head, he threw himself into the makeup chair next to the shirtless idiot and stripped off his own top. He didn't say a word to JaeJoong, and refused to even look in that direction, but JaeJoong stared at Yunho's reflection in the mirror, all of his teeth visible in his jack-o-lantern grin.
Apparently, JaeJoong had managed to talk the director into moving this scene up in the filming queue. Fucking JaeJoong.
"Can you do it, Yunho?" he taunted, standing just off-camera. They were both supposed to be shirtless at this point, and fake blood had been painted onto the battle wounds they would have received in the previous scene. One of the stagehands had sprayed a little water on them, fake sweat to make the scene look more 'real'. Yunho didn't like the idea of more real. Apparently JaeJoong did, because he asked for a little more. "You could just quit now... you know you really have to put your all into this scene. It can't be faked."
"Shut up."
"Action!"
Aaaaaaaaaaand they were off. Yunho grabbed JaeJoong, as the script dictated the scene should start, and pushed him into the wall; one hand slipped on the real sweat on his palms and his hand tightened around JaeJoong's wrist to compensate.
"You're too reckless," he spat. "I told you. You should let me protect you."
The line was delivered, surprisingly, perfectly. The director almost called cut out of habit, but his eyes went wide and he buttoned his lips rather quickly, watching as his lead actor finally delivered a line for the first time without failure. Leaning forward in his chair, he watched in fascination. Something had happened.
Even JaeJoong seemed surprised.
"Let you protect me? You? You won't even admit you love me, why should I expect you to be competent at protecting both me and yourself?"
"Why the hell would I need to say what you already know, you fucking idiot?"
Oh god. Here it was. Yunho hesitated for a moment, eyes burning in annoyance that grew ever more as he caught the laughter in JaeJoong's. Angrily, he kissed the other man, unsurprised when the lips parted and the tongue invaded his mouth. It was part of the script, after all.
"Are you too afraid to show me, too?" JaeJoong breathed the line into Yunho's mouth. It would have to be redubbed later, but that didn't matter. Yunho wasn't thinking about that. He was thinking about this stupid scene and pressing his body against JaeJoong's. He crushed the other into the wall, animosity evident. JaeJoong had antagonised him into performing the scenes perfectly.
Good thing for JaeJoong that it was a sex scene. Yunho soldiered on through the scene, his actions seeming fluid and real, not mechanical at all as everyone had expected. It seemed a lot of things were going to happen that weren't expected, because Yunho... apparently took sex scenes seriously.
The director didn't recover from his shock for at least three hours after it was over. The crew had kept filming, a few slipping off the set in discomfort, a few watching in utter fascination. Yunho and JaeJoong had remained in the bed long after the scene, trying to catch their breath. Yunho felt a strange sense of fulfillment. He'd proven JaeJoong wrong. He hadn't been afraid to get into the role. Heh.
The troll rolled over and looked at Yunho, still grinning.
"You liked it."
He had to ask the neighbours if he could sleep on their couch again that night.
omg lol I can't. I'm sorry. lmao so so so so sorry. hahahaha
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: Errr. R? I'm not sure. Not for KIDS. Lulz.
Genre: Comedy/slightsmutbutnotenoughtocount (cough)
Notes: I'm sorry. Really, I am. LULZ. Pairing requested by Naty.
Disclaimer: They are not mine, and I probably shouldn't even claim this fic to be either because IDK what it says about my brain.
The street was dark. That was the first thing that caught Yunho's attention as he stepped out of the tall brick building, and he looked toward the sky in confusion. The streetlights had gone out while he was inside, apparently, leaving the already poorly-lit area in an inky darkness. Only one of the lamps in the area hadn't gone out, leaving it a shining beacon in the middle of a sea of black.
A thin figure lay in the circle of light it cast down to the street, streak of red blood visible all over it. Yunho's eyes widened in horror upon realising this, and he broke out into a sprint, sliding to a stop next to the unmoving figure and falling to his knees.
"JaeJoong-ah. JaeJoong-ah," he whimpered, hands floating precariously over the still body as if he weren't sure where to touch, lest he hurt the obviously bloodied man even more. He finally settled on grabbing at the shoulder, and he carefully turned the man's face toward him, slipping him up onto his legs. "JaeJoong-ah, wake up. Please, JaeJoong-ah. Oh god, please."
"CUT." The loud, annoyed voice carried down the street and Yunho looked up guiltily. In his arms, JaeJoong's eyes snapped open, and he let out an exasperated sigh and pushed away from his friend, fingers touching the bloody gash just under his eye. "Yunho, you're not saying your lines right. This is your best friend, and he's quite possibly dead. Put more feeling into it."
"S-sorry," Yunho replied, his face going red as he stood and brushed off his knees. "I'll try harder this time."
"Yunho," JaeJoong murmured, staring at the red on his fingertips before looking up at him. "See this cut on my face right here?" He indicated the slash, then plucked at the remains of a shirt they'd put on him. "And all these ones on me here? And that big puddle of blood? Try pretending that they're real. Okay? Pretend that I'm really dying."
Hard to pretend he was dying when he was sitting there on the ground covered in fake blood and grinning from ear to ear. Still, Yunho nodded, returning the smile even as he turned and went back to his mark to begin the scene again.
The set belonged to a dark action thriller called 'Fly by Night'. Yunho and JaeJoong had been cast as the main characters, a duo thrust into the world of vampire hunting. The storyline was, in Yunho's opinion, stereotypical and nothing fresh, but he'd taken the job anyway, upon JaeJoong's insistence. They were going to do it together, he'd demanded. With their faces at the forefront, the movie could never, ever flop. After all, they were U-Know Yunho and Youngwoong JaeJoong.
JaeJoong's character had all the makings of... well, a JaeJoong character. He was the harder of the two, more world-worn and withdrawn. Plus he got beaten up quite a few times throughout the script, which was a must for any part JaeJoong would even think of considering, for some reason. Yunho's character was the optimist, the ever-bright half of the pair that would stop at nothing to extinguish the vampires that had invaded their world. Together, they were like night and day, but it worked well for their purposes.
Except Yunho couldn't seem to get his part down. He would fumble lines, or withhold the emotions that were needed for a scene. They'd only been shooting for two weeks, but already the director grew more and more impatient with the Leader. For how could a leader be so bad at something he'd already done a few times before? Every time Yunho flubbed a scene, the director's shout of 'cut!' grew sharper and more ill-tempered. It was almost to the point where he was considering firing the man.
From a cannon.
With the day wrapping finally, the director exhausted beyond his wildest dreams at his stars, Yunho and JaeJoong cleaned themselves up and headed for home. Or what was temporarily home. Filming had taken them out of their native territory and separated them from the rest of their group; home was just too far to travel to and from the set every day, and so they'd been put up in an apartment nearby. By some miracle, their location wasn't overrun by insane fangirls, and the pair could even walk around without getting mobbed. If the town weren't so small, and if it had more to offer for entertainment, it would almost be paradise for them.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" JaeJoong asked, stretching his arms over his head, fingers laced together. The fake blood had all been washed off, and his longish hair was still a bit damp from the quick shower he'd taken at the studio. Normally, it would bother him, but since there was nobody around out here to harass them or take pictures as they walked past... it seemed safe enough to not look perfect all the time. Wide eyes looked expectantly at Yunho, who simply looked back, confused.
"Err... what?"
"Whatever's bothering you." Fingers came undone, and JaeJoong lowered his arms, making sure to give Yunho a good thwack in the back of his light-haired head. The part had called for blond, but they'd negotiated it to a light brown, for Yunho's sake. "You can't act, Yunho. You used to be good at it, and now you're forgetting lines and failing left and right."
Yunho shrugged, his face growing hot as he rubbed his head. He didn't know why he was screwing up so much. This wasn't his first time in front of a camera, after all. He'd done lo- well. Some acting. Before. It wasn't like he was green.
"Nothing's bothering me... I guess I just can't get into the part."
"Because?"
Eyes slanted sideways at the eager sound of the voice.
"I don't know."
JaeJoong's hand swung up and smacked the back of Yunho's head again, a little less gentle this time. The leader winced and swung his own arm at the smaller man; JaeJoong ducked out of the way, grinning. Impish little bastard, he was. Yunho frowned at him, obviously not enthused.
"You're afraid to be good at it." JaeJoong turned on the sidewalk, walking (almost skipping) backwards so he could watch Yunho's face for a reaction. "You don't want to be good at this part."
Not amused, Yunho stopped where he was, arms crossing over his chest and head tilting to one side as he set JaeJoong with a glare. The skipping stalled immediately, though the trollish look of glee on his face still lingered there. This only served to annoy Yunho more, and he started getting all huffy.
"Yah. Why would I not want to be good at my job?" He was defiant, unyielding. He really did want to be good at everything he did, after all. "I just can't get into the part, is all."
Good god, if JaeJoong's expression got any more elated, Yunho was going to lock him out of the apartment and make him sleep in the hall.
"You don't. I'm not surprised, though. You don't want to get into this part." JaeJoong leaned in conspiratorially. "You're afraid to. Because the characters are gay."
Yunho's face had never been quite this shade of red before. Once it reached its peak of reddness, it started right on over into purple, and the man started choking on air. Every accusation and excuse he wanted to throw back at JaeJoong made no sense. HE WAS NOT. He was not afraid to act the part of a gay character! Why would he be?! It wasn't as if... as if...
Silence.
...oh god.
He was right. HE WAS RIGHT. JaeJoong, the IRL troll, was totally and completely right. It was difficult for him because this character was gay, but not simply because of that. It was because it was with JaeJoong, of all people. Good god, if it would have been with Changmin or Junsu, or even Yoochun, they could have made fun of each other afterwards. But they all KNEW how JaeJoong was. He would take this so seriously that it would hurt. And Yunho's poor little heart couldn't take that.
"You're wrong."
Lies. LIES. He pushed past JaeJoong and even ran a little bit in his haste to get to the apartment before him. Just so he could lock the door. It was the best 'fuck you' he could send JaeJoong's way at the moment.
JaeJoong watched as his leader ran away, unable to control his hysterical laughter. And he was still giggling when he knocked on the neighbour's door and asked if he could sleep on their couch that night. Yunho wouldn't unlock the fucking door.
(What a bad leader omg lol)
When Yunho sauntered onto the set the next day, he could immediately tell that something was off. The set was drastically different from what they were supposed to be filming on; Yunho had marked in the script what they were meant to be doing, and this was not it. They were supposed to be set up at the living room, to film all the in-scenes. But instead, all the cameras were focused on... the bedroom set.
JaeJoong was already there, that demonic grin on his face. The set hands were already working him over, getting him ready for the completely wrong scene. JaeJoong had fake scars applied all over his torso, things which only needed to be in place for a few shirtless scenes and...
Yunho visibly paled.
"Took you long enough to get here," JaeJoong called with a little wave, leaning back in his seat as the makeup artist applied a rather violent-looking mark just below his belly button. "I almost thought you got afraid and decided to give up and quit."
The words were a challenge. And Yunho had tried his hardest to prepare for them. Shaking his head, he threw himself into the makeup chair next to the shirtless idiot and stripped off his own top. He didn't say a word to JaeJoong, and refused to even look in that direction, but JaeJoong stared at Yunho's reflection in the mirror, all of his teeth visible in his jack-o-lantern grin.
Apparently, JaeJoong had managed to talk the director into moving this scene up in the filming queue. Fucking JaeJoong.
"Can you do it, Yunho?" he taunted, standing just off-camera. They were both supposed to be shirtless at this point, and fake blood had been painted onto the battle wounds they would have received in the previous scene. One of the stagehands had sprayed a little water on them, fake sweat to make the scene look more 'real'. Yunho didn't like the idea of more real. Apparently JaeJoong did, because he asked for a little more. "You could just quit now... you know you really have to put your all into this scene. It can't be faked."
"Shut up."
"Action!"
Aaaaaaaaaaand they were off. Yunho grabbed JaeJoong, as the script dictated the scene should start, and pushed him into the wall; one hand slipped on the real sweat on his palms and his hand tightened around JaeJoong's wrist to compensate.
"You're too reckless," he spat. "I told you. You should let me protect you."
The line was delivered, surprisingly, perfectly. The director almost called cut out of habit, but his eyes went wide and he buttoned his lips rather quickly, watching as his lead actor finally delivered a line for the first time without failure. Leaning forward in his chair, he watched in fascination. Something had happened.
Even JaeJoong seemed surprised.
"Let you protect me? You? You won't even admit you love me, why should I expect you to be competent at protecting both me and yourself?"
"Why the hell would I need to say what you already know, you fucking idiot?"
Oh god. Here it was. Yunho hesitated for a moment, eyes burning in annoyance that grew ever more as he caught the laughter in JaeJoong's. Angrily, he kissed the other man, unsurprised when the lips parted and the tongue invaded his mouth. It was part of the script, after all.
"Are you too afraid to show me, too?" JaeJoong breathed the line into Yunho's mouth. It would have to be redubbed later, but that didn't matter. Yunho wasn't thinking about that. He was thinking about this stupid scene and pressing his body against JaeJoong's. He crushed the other into the wall, animosity evident. JaeJoong had antagonised him into performing the scenes perfectly.
Good thing for JaeJoong that it was a sex scene. Yunho soldiered on through the scene, his actions seeming fluid and real, not mechanical at all as everyone had expected. It seemed a lot of things were going to happen that weren't expected, because Yunho... apparently took sex scenes seriously.
The director didn't recover from his shock for at least three hours after it was over. The crew had kept filming, a few slipping off the set in discomfort, a few watching in utter fascination. Yunho and JaeJoong had remained in the bed long after the scene, trying to catch their breath. Yunho felt a strange sense of fulfillment. He'd proven JaeJoong wrong. He hadn't been afraid to get into the role. Heh.
The troll rolled over and looked at Yunho, still grinning.
"You liked it."
He had to ask the neighbours if he could sleep on their couch again that night.
omg lol I can't. I'm sorry. lmao so so so so sorry. hahahaha