Comments | bittereternity: as i stare at a masterpiece (pg)

bittereternity

as i stare at a masterpiece (pg)

Dec 09, 2009 21:05

Title: as i stare at a masterpiece
Characters: Sheldon, Leonard, Penny (Sheldon/Penny)
Words: 1,705
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory and all its characters do not belong to me.
Summary: Leonard sees them sitting in the dark.

( I want to give you the grace that led me... )

pairing: sheldon/penny, character: leonard hofstadter, fandom: the big bang theory, character: sheldon cooper, character: penny

Comments 24

jazzrose343 December 9 2009, 20:50:38 UTC

Okay so this was amazing.

Bittersweet and painful, but you captured Leonards POV and feeling s perfectly.

I cannot wait to read more from you .

bittereternity December 10 2009, 15:36:55 UTC

I'm so pleased you liked the fic, especially from Leonard's POV, thank you very much!

treelines December 9 2009, 21:25:35 UTC

I liked not knowing while in this fic, because I could more easily sense Leonard's pain in not knowing, too. Limited perspective can be tricky, but I think you executed it well in this scene. Well done!

bittereternity December 10 2009, 15:38:07 UTC

Thank you so much, that was exactly what I was going for! I'm glad the limited perspective thing worked out, because I did try to descriptive and be more subjective for that matter, but it ended up being extremely incoherent. So, I thought that this might work better.

renisanz December 9 2009, 22:02:52 UTC

Yes, I agree that this was all kinds of awesome. There were one or two typos, but eh.

I really enjoyed the quiet, ominous tone of all of this. Leonard breaking up with Penny and not freaking out was an interesting twists. I think he is, generally an introvert, and with this situation, he really did not wish to drive Sheldon and Penny out of his life with screaming fits of rage. So he kept it in.

I also would like to know what was going on with Penny on the computer and Sheldon hyperventilating...but it's also great that we don't need that particular information for the story to work, as it does, very well. :)

bittereternity December 10 2009, 15:41:09 UTC

If you're interested, I just replied to 7gifts above with what I think was going on with Sheldon hyperventilating and Penny on the computer.

I'm sorry about the typos, I tried to edit as much as possible, but.. I was also nervous about the grammar because English isn't my first language and I'm glad it was okay overall. Yeah, I thought that Leonard was an introvert as well. He might be more social than Sheldon but he doesn't make rash decisions and the last thing he would want to do is drive them away with his hostility.

Thanks for reading!

(The comment has been removed)

bittereternity December 10 2009, 15:41:52 UTC

Thank you very much! I was very nervous about the Leonard POV and I'm glad you liked this. :D

juniperlane December 10 2009, 01:14:44 UTC

This was really, really quite lovely. And I totally loved the outsider point of view, and Leonard in general, and how you had him handle everything. Realistic and sad, but not overly jerktastic.

He feels like he’s interrupting something personal, something that’s only going to remain a special memory for two, and in the back of his mind, he knows there’s no place for him here.

This entire scene was just awesome. I'm looking forward to seeing more from you!

bittereternity December 10 2009, 15:43:46 UTC

Thank you very much! I thought that trying out Leonard's POV would be interesting because it's quite possible that the way SP see themselves is different from how someone close to them, but someone who isn't exclusively *them* sees them.

Err... that didn't make much sense, did it? Thanks for reading, anyway!