i'm alive, thankyouverymuch. And with fic, too.
Title: Compromise
Pairing: Need you ask? H/D.
Rating: PG
Summary: “It’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle™ action figure.” Harry. Draco. Toy Shop.
Notes:implied MPREG. what?
Compromise
“What. Is. That?”
“It’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle™ action figure.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No. You are not showing even a green leg of that… adolescent fighting toad thing, to our daughter. She’s a girl, girls don’t like slimy jumpy reptiles.”
“But… but it has a kung fu kick, if you press this right here…”
“Harry, I can do a pretty good kung fu kick, too, if I wished so--”
“Yes, you are rather flexible…”
“You twat, I could do much more than kung fu your arse if you don’t keep that thing away from me and my daughter.”
“Our daughter.”
“You just abdicated your fatherhood by even suggesting that mistake of a toy.”
“I’m still her loving father, and they have their own television show!”
“That’s nice. Now people can watch frogs do more than jump.”
“They’re turtles--”
“Don’t speak, Harry. Now, how about this?”
“Draco.”
“Yes?”
“You’d much rather give our child fashionable fish, than cool karate turtles?”
“They’re Bratz™. And they’re human. At least I think they are… Hm. They do lack a rather important breathing organ...”
“Draco! How about this?”
“A monster truck.”
“Amazing, isn’t it?”
“Female. Female, Harry. That’s what our daughter is, in case you haven’t noticed her severe lack of a dick.”
“You know what, fine. Just…never mind. I’ll meet you at the counter. Get Barbie or something, she’ll love it.”
“Harry?”
“…”
“Harry, get back here!”
“…”
“Harry! Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
“We’ve been together for a gaggingly long time, Potter. I know you. And also, I’m not stupid.”
“…”
“Look at me.”
“Look, I just thought I’d be able play with our child, alright? Like with cars and Quidditch, and… and my kind of things.”
“A Harry-clone, you mean?”
“…well, yeah.”
“Well, you can’t. This one is going to be the poise one, the feminine pretty one who can win any battle of wits. The one who can fight when she needs to, and will never lose her composure. The smart one, the one good with words and even better with a wand. And who can play Quidditch better than any boy or girl.”
“Eliding the Quidditch part, a you-clone, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“That’s rather un--”
“We can have another one, though.”
“What?”
“I’ve been thinking about it… We could have another child. We can’t be certain that it’ll be a boy... but if ever it turns out to be a girl, you can mold her to be a better version of you. With my undying support. We can have someone you can play with and I can love just as much. And also, Cassie will need someone to boss around.”
“...You really mean it? You’d do the whole thing over again? For me?”
“For us.”
“You do know love you, right?”
“Do you really?”
“Of course.”
“Good then, so you love me enough to promise that you will never ever let any of our children behold the sight of those kung fu lizards?”
“They’re turtles…And I promise, love.”
-Fin-
Pairing: Need you ask? H/D.
Rating: PG
Summary: “It’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle™ action figure.” Harry. Draco. Toy Shop.
Notes:implied MPREG. what?
Compromise
“What. Is. That?”
“It’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle™ action figure.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No. You are not showing even a green leg of that… adolescent fighting toad thing, to our daughter. She’s a girl, girls don’t like slimy jumpy reptiles.”
“But… but it has a kung fu kick, if you press this right here…”
“Harry, I can do a pretty good kung fu kick, too, if I wished so--”
“Yes, you are rather flexible…”
“You twat, I could do much more than kung fu your arse if you don’t keep that thing away from me and my daughter.”
“Our daughter.”
“You just abdicated your fatherhood by even suggesting that mistake of a toy.”
“I’m still her loving father, and they have their own television show!”
“That’s nice. Now people can watch frogs do more than jump.”
“They’re turtles--”
“Don’t speak, Harry. Now, how about this?”
“Draco.”
“Yes?”
“You’d much rather give our child fashionable fish, than cool karate turtles?”
“They’re Bratz™. And they’re human. At least I think they are… Hm. They do lack a rather important breathing organ...”
“Draco! How about this?”
“A monster truck.”
“Amazing, isn’t it?”
“Female. Female, Harry. That’s what our daughter is, in case you haven’t noticed her severe lack of a dick.”
“You know what, fine. Just…never mind. I’ll meet you at the counter. Get Barbie or something, she’ll love it.”
“Harry?”
“…”
“Harry, get back here!”
“…”
“Harry! Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
“We’ve been together for a gaggingly long time, Potter. I know you. And also, I’m not stupid.”
“…”
“Look at me.”
“Look, I just thought I’d be able play with our child, alright? Like with cars and Quidditch, and… and my kind of things.”
“A Harry-clone, you mean?”
“…well, yeah.”
“Well, you can’t. This one is going to be the poise one, the feminine pretty one who can win any battle of wits. The one who can fight when she needs to, and will never lose her composure. The smart one, the one good with words and even better with a wand. And who can play Quidditch better than any boy or girl.”
“Eliding the Quidditch part, a you-clone, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“That’s rather un--”
“We can have another one, though.”
“What?”
“I’ve been thinking about it… We could have another child. We can’t be certain that it’ll be a boy... but if ever it turns out to be a girl, you can mold her to be a better version of you. With my undying support. We can have someone you can play with and I can love just as much. And also, Cassie will need someone to boss around.”
“...You really mean it? You’d do the whole thing over again? For me?”
“For us.”
“You do know love you, right?”
“Do you really?”
“Of course.”
“Good then, so you love me enough to promise that you will never ever let any of our children behold the sight of those kung fu lizards?”
“They’re turtles…And I promise, love.”
-Fin-