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The self hatred, and the reluctance to mention it is important in explaining the Spring Concert. I've felt worthless for a long time, and I knew that I had to hide that. People won't like you if you don't give them a reason, and if you wear your heart on your sleeve and show them that you don't even like you, or that there's nothing to like, then
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it sounds like you're not seeing any mental health professionals anymore. you sound pretty disdainful. but... i really think you should be on some sort of anti-depressant. are you?
please, please take care of yourself.
for the record, i thought you were a sweet guy before we even really started interacting. and my instinct wasn't wrong.
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