Comments | bjfactory: 30_romances Theme 27: Emotions [Naruto manga

bjfactory

30_romances Theme 27: Emotions [Naruto manga - Haruno Sakura x Uzumaki Naruto]

Jun 27, 2007 17:14

Fandom: Naruto
Title: The heart that does not understand
Author: bjfactory
Theme(s): 30-romances #27. Love, hate and the like ; emotions
Characters: Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto
Rating: PG
Warnings: Sakura rabies. Angst. Copious amounts of fuzzy tension and implications. No particular spoilers to really be antsy about.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto's characters and my words ( Read more... )

sakura, fanfic, naruto, narusaku, sasuke, 30-romances, manga

Comments 8

jewel_song July 2 2007, 04:34:53 UTC

This was beautiful. I loved it. :)

*adding to memories*

♥

bjfactory July 2 2007, 06:37:29 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

I personally thought it was a bit inconsistent... I will try harder to make the next drabble not as sucky....

sigh

_moenokori July 2 2007, 06:45:38 UTC

I agree! Simply beautiful! I loved Naruto and Sakura's interactions, as well - Sakura said things that so desperately needed to be said, and Naruto was confused and desperate, ahh...~

My heart is so happy now. XD

bjfactory July 2 2007, 07:03:30 UTC

Wow! Thanks! I'm surprised at the positive response. I agree, I wrote this so Sakura said all the things I thought needed to be addressed in the series. I'm just not satisfied with it because I didn't really convince myself that it was in-character for her to say these things or even think these thoughts this concretely. But this could just be a year from now and shit could have happened to really bring down her morale. At least I think Naruto was kind of in character. His confusion made sense, but I thought he could have probably headed off the conversation with something funny or maybe not be so angsty...

And I know it was totally out of character for Sakura to bite Naruto... but I put it in there cause I thought it was hot. I should have explained that moment better...

Urr...

Opps. Sorry.. I'm critiquing myself ^_^;;

What I meant to say is: Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! But next time, I will write something better than this.

tendo_chan July 2 2007, 13:00:28 UTC

that.... was so cuuuuute!! very very very lovely. though i have to say.. it was.. well, too short, i guess. it really started out well and the middle was too damn fluffy for me XD.. in a good way, i mean. i liked how the story was going and i wished it didn't have to end so soon. but overall, it was very veeeery nice!in my opinion, i felt like you kept them in character pretty well :D again, it was really cute :)

tendo_chan July 2 2007, 17:33:22 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! Sorry about it being too short, I'm more of a one-shot writer than an epic writer... Glad you think it's cute :) I'll work hard to keep them in-character!

tendo_chan July 3 2007, 13:28:08 UTC

Well.. we're the same actually :P (cant make at least 2 chapterseven if it cost my life) you're very welcome.. :) and.. have i said that the bite thing was very hawt? ;D *fangirl giggle* :)

wonderful! anonymous August 17 2007, 04:59:19 UTC

I think this is so lovely! I think you did such a wonderful job (as you always do) with laying emotion down on paper without actually SAYING it. It makes your work so enjoyable to read.
I love this line "Am I important to you Naruto?" it just makes my heart hurt!
I look forward to more of your work, you do such a lovely job with narusaku, which is my personal preference. (Not that your other works arnt just as fantastic)I just think you've really got a grasp on their relationship.

Anyways, I hope this held some semblance of a good critique, since I'm not a writer myself. :)

chunkymacaroni~