i need you more than you'll ever know..
1. my name full name is denielle but i hate my name. my middle name is marie.
2. i think everyone reading this probably knew that.
3. im in north carolina right now
4. i have trust issues
5. the rest of my family is downstairs watching along came polly, i should be down there watching it, but im in an anti-social mood.
6. i drove a golfcart yesterday and the last time i did that was when i was 7, and i drove it into a lake. i didnt drive it into a lake yesterday, but i did almost hit a dog.
7. i miss my friends alot right now
8. my away message says, "watching along came polly." even though im not.
9. i have consumed way too many little debbie products in the past 48 hours
10. ive become obsessed with myspace and i met one of my coolest friends off of there
11. i was just in my cousins room and the dog was in there. the door was closed and he sat by it and just stared at it as if his glances would magically open the door. that made me laugh.
12. there is a glass of milk to the left of me. i wonder who's it is.
13. i have felt so much self hatred lately, i dont know what to do
14. im trying to fix that though
15. theres only one reason why i enjoy going to school
16. but im not telling you why, and if you think you know why, shut up
17. ive been feeling excluded from my friends lately, theyre making their own little groups and i feel like i shouldnt bother trying to re-enter them, even though i did introduce them all to eachother, oh well, whatever.
18. i'll get over it
19. i just finished writing a biography on Claudius (roman emperor) and it wont print, i just screamed
20. the settings on this computer piss me off
21. i really do look like lindsay lohan ( eek )
22. lauren (wa wa) made me think about our barney re-mix parts of speech song in 4th grade, that made me laugh. i love you lauren
23. ive been trying to call my blacky alot lately, but she doesnt like to answer her phone. that makes me sad
24. if you have read up to this point, you better comment about something
25. i saw pictures of my mom today when she was younger, and i swear im her clone. kinda scary
26. i love buying jewelry and clothing. if i dont i get seriously depressed. i need to go shopping
27. people have been able to piss me off really easily lately
28. im getting mixed messages from people and it upsets me
29. ive become so closed off from the world, and i dont think i'll ever open up as much as much as i was last year
30. only a very few people really "know" me
31. i have very low self-esteem
32. i wouldve been dead by now if i didnt have my friends <3
33. the first person to ever buy me flowers was tom, and i love him for that
34. brian bought me candy on wednesday after school, why i just thought of that.. i dont know.
35. maybe its because i want chocolate
36. which reminds me, i hate white chocolate.
37. i think i have a bronchial infection, i cant breathe and i feel like shit
38. a bunch of old people kissed me today and said, "oh how much you grew up!" when i didnt know them. that makes me extremely uncomfortable.
39. i think im going to fail alot of my classes this year
40. im very jumpy in cars, im always afraid of getting into an accident. im overly cautious sometimes and im so jumpy
41. im convinced that me and lauren (blacky) were sperm mates
42. i want taco bell, kristi is my taco bell whore
43. i miss the band (bh). i think they should come and visit me once i get home. im in the mood for a useless conversation with andrew.
44. i get jealous extremely easily, and i hate myself for it
45. i hate myself for so many reasons
46. i need to do something about that
47. every time i go into krystens basement, i think and nearly taste sugar cubes. 9th grade kicked ass
48. i think im a disgrace to my family
49. well at least thats how my parents feel
50. if you have read everything up to here, you better comment or i'll hate you
51. no im kidding, i wont hate you. but if you do i'll love you forever.
52. i cant hate people
53. for long
54. i almost got into a fight the other day at fatpipe. some bitch was feeling up one of my best friends boyfriend and then she had the nerve to eat one of my candy cigarettes. bitch.
55. i will stick up for my friends in any situation. if anyone messes with them..
56. i love playing mind games with people i dispise
57. my name is tsuki according to iulias mom
58. that made me feel really cool
59. i collect got milk ads and put them on my wall
60. fake people and homophobes piss me off
61. ive noticed alot of things piss me off lately
62. no im not PMSing
63. nick just yelled at me because he thinks im watching along came polly
64. im terrified of making enemies
65. my biggest fear is being alone
66. and losing my best friends to someone else, being ditched
67. i cant wait for my sweet 16 and i hope janine dresses up as a twinkie
68. i love painting my nails different colors
69. and i love doing weird stuff with makeup
70. i want to be hipnotized
71. i think i like this guy, and for some weird reason im scared to tell him
72. and thats really weird for me because im normally so open about that kinda stuff. ive become so closed off
73. i guess im afraid of being hurt again
74. who isnt?
75. im jealous of alot of my friends
76. i love taking pictures
77. fatpipe closed the other day, i started crying
78. im really upset that brian and pat didnt come with me there
79. i miss jenn alot. i was thinking about her the other day at the airport because she was coming up to ny the day i was going down to north carolina. which kinda sucked. no, not kinda. it really sucked.
80. i have obsessive compulsive disorder with symmetry and even numbers
81. when people make fun of me for that, it seriously pisses me off
82. im absolutely terrified of needles. ive passed out nearly everytime i had to get one at the doctors office. they make me smell that nasty stuff or stick lollipops in my mouth to keep me alive
83. i want to move to another state or country for a couple months then return home again
84. i want to go to the emergency room at 1am again with lau, we had so much fun
85. i really hope i get a cell phone for my birthday
86. i just noticed that my head was tilted to the left the whole time while typing this. matt pointed that out to me the other day and now i notice it more often.
87. i want to go to puerto rico with claire because i love her
88. i almost had a heart attack when i saw this arab guy on the plane with me a couple seats ahead
89. "dont naked me! im closet!"
90. i want to go sky diving
91. i watched so many episodes of fear factor and the real world in the past 48 hours. fucking drama queens.
92. im a hippocrite, because im probably one of the biggest drama queens you will ever meet
93. i love having pillow fights with my friends. especially when we're in our comfy clothes and we dont care how we look. then we all cuddle up and watch a movie. that is my ideal perfect night.
94. ive said so many stupid things to people and i want to die
95. ive cried myself to sleep every night for the past 2 months. and half the time i dont know why.
96. i dont want to go back to school and i really wish i got to go to the fair this weekend with brian, pat, and iulia. that made me cry.
97. i think pat and brian hate me now. but they are my newest best friends. i heart them alot.
98. i love falling asleep, being woken up, then falling asleep again in weird places.
99. i love being wrapped up really tight in lots of blankets and sleeping outside.
100. im terrified of the future