Fic; Fushigi Yuugi; Tasuki/Nuriko
Title: Burning the Past
Author: black_goose
Fandom: Fushigi Yuugi
Pairing: Tasuki/Nuriko
Word count: 578
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Tasuki learns to let go.
There's a single purple hair lying in his hand, and there's a chunk of it lying on his desk. He doesn't need to touch it- he's held it before, silky and smooth, just as soft as when it fell forward onto his face as he lay, just as comforting in the six months since he'd lost it's owner.
It's strange that this is all he has left of Nuriko. A bit of hair is all he has left of the only person he's ever loved, and maybe the only person he will ever loved. It's not even his full hair, merely a snip of it that he cut while no one was watching, as everyone rushed to bury his lover. The rest was buried with him, and maybe it's fitting, that he has something of Nuriko's that Nuriko still carries.
He lost everything that day- Nuriko, love, warmth. He's so cold, always, though his hair still flames red, and he's as cheerful as ever, but it's forced, like Chichiri's, and that makes sense- they've both lost people close to them. But he can't hide behind a mask like Chichiri, can't...smile all the time, and so his mask can fall, stripped away, and everyone can see, if for just a second, that's there's something wrong.
But no one sees love. They see something wrong, but they don't look for love, or a broken heart, or anything like that, because, truly, who would expect to see it? The ones who could, who should, Chichiri, Mitsukake, Tamahome... they're all heart broken themselves, all lost, and it's being seishi that keeps them together, gives them something to do. But now...it's not enough.
He wants to remember, he wants to hold onto these memories which become blurred with each day, fade with each week. He's trying to hold on. He's trying to live, because that's what Nuriko would want, but it's hard, so unbelievably hard, that he feels like he's fighting a losing battle, and it gets harder each day. Maybe he's living, maybe he is holding on, but he's not doing it too well.
And all he has is a piece of fucking hair.
He keeps it in a bag, exactly like the one he buried the rest of it in, and it hangs around his neck, close to his heart, always near his heart. It's his, and it's secret, and it's...useless. It's not Nuriko, not Nuriko, because this piece of hair, it wasn't part of him when he died. But maybe he doesn't want to remember his death, doesn't want a reminder; he can still see it, his lovers body on the snow, the blood that stained red flowing from an open wound, marring the skin that had been pale, but was now white. He still sees it when he closes his eyes, still dreams it, and now, not even sake helps.
So he doesn't want a reminder, but yet, strangely, he holds on to this piece of hair. But not any more.
He places the one hair in his, his reasoning being that at least this way he won't lose everything, but really he simply wants to be closer to Nuriko. He picks up his fan in one hand, and the hair in the other.
"Lekka shinen." He mutters, and watchs as the largest reminder of his lover fades to ash. He touches the last bit he has, where purple clashes with red.
Well, he'd never liked girls much anyway.
Ok, so if you read that (please do, I want to know if it makes any sense)? Look at my icon. That is Tasuki's reaction to Nuriko's death.
Look at that, and THEN tell me that they weren't going at it.
Author: black_goose
Fandom: Fushigi Yuugi
Pairing: Tasuki/Nuriko
Word count: 578
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Tasuki learns to let go.
There's a single purple hair lying in his hand, and there's a chunk of it lying on his desk. He doesn't need to touch it- he's held it before, silky and smooth, just as soft as when it fell forward onto his face as he lay, just as comforting in the six months since he'd lost it's owner.
It's strange that this is all he has left of Nuriko. A bit of hair is all he has left of the only person he's ever loved, and maybe the only person he will ever loved. It's not even his full hair, merely a snip of it that he cut while no one was watching, as everyone rushed to bury his lover. The rest was buried with him, and maybe it's fitting, that he has something of Nuriko's that Nuriko still carries.
He lost everything that day- Nuriko, love, warmth. He's so cold, always, though his hair still flames red, and he's as cheerful as ever, but it's forced, like Chichiri's, and that makes sense- they've both lost people close to them. But he can't hide behind a mask like Chichiri, can't...smile all the time, and so his mask can fall, stripped away, and everyone can see, if for just a second, that's there's something wrong.
But no one sees love. They see something wrong, but they don't look for love, or a broken heart, or anything like that, because, truly, who would expect to see it? The ones who could, who should, Chichiri, Mitsukake, Tamahome... they're all heart broken themselves, all lost, and it's being seishi that keeps them together, gives them something to do. But now...it's not enough.
He wants to remember, he wants to hold onto these memories which become blurred with each day, fade with each week. He's trying to hold on. He's trying to live, because that's what Nuriko would want, but it's hard, so unbelievably hard, that he feels like he's fighting a losing battle, and it gets harder each day. Maybe he's living, maybe he is holding on, but he's not doing it too well.
And all he has is a piece of fucking hair.
He keeps it in a bag, exactly like the one he buried the rest of it in, and it hangs around his neck, close to his heart, always near his heart. It's his, and it's secret, and it's...useless. It's not Nuriko, not Nuriko, because this piece of hair, it wasn't part of him when he died. But maybe he doesn't want to remember his death, doesn't want a reminder; he can still see it, his lovers body on the snow, the blood that stained red flowing from an open wound, marring the skin that had been pale, but was now white. He still sees it when he closes his eyes, still dreams it, and now, not even sake helps.
So he doesn't want a reminder, but yet, strangely, he holds on to this piece of hair. But not any more.
He places the one hair in his, his reasoning being that at least this way he won't lose everything, but really he simply wants to be closer to Nuriko. He picks up his fan in one hand, and the hair in the other.
"Lekka shinen." He mutters, and watchs as the largest reminder of his lover fades to ash. He touches the last bit he has, where purple clashes with red.
Well, he'd never liked girls much anyway.
Ok, so if you read that (please do, I want to know if it makes any sense)? Look at my icon. That is Tasuki's reaction to Nuriko's death.
Look at that, and THEN tell me that they weren't going at it.