20 Things I will not do after watching Supernatural
Number 1: I will not go on a 'road trip' with my older brother.
Number 2: I will not pick up hitch hikers, because they are probably female demons with a taste for human blood.
Number 3: I will not go home after going on a 'road trip' with my older brother.
3a. Especially after picking up hitch hikers, who happen to be female demons with a taste for human blood.
Number 4: Asylums with records of rioting are not fun places to visit.
Number 5: Nor are woods that have a record for people going missing.
Number 6: The woods might look like they're fun for camping, but only if your camping gear involves very sharp knives.
Number 7: It's the little girl. It's always the little girl. Say it with me: it's always the little girl.
Number 8: Big mirrors will not benefit you in any way.
Number 9: Neither will buying that painting off the scary old lady.
9a. Both are more trouble than they're worth.
Number 10: I will not go swimming in any lake, at any time, anywhere.
Number 11: I will not wash in the water from the lake that happens to be killing people.
11a. A bath is also not a Good Idea, you stupid moron.
Number 12: See that abandoned house on the hill? It is most likely the lair of witches/demons/vampires/general dark creatures. I will not go into it.
12a. This also applies to houses in the woods.
12b. In fact, I should not go within 500 metres of such places.
Number 13: The cute old lady living on her own/in the woods/on the hill does not just want to feed me pies.
Number 14: All fairytales are really horror stories for children. I must not recite them to anyone in a coma.
Number 15: The hot girls who seem to be coming onto me are probably not after my body, but are probably demons or a kleptomaniac with a fake british accent.
Number 16: That big ship in the distance isn't really a ship and is really an omen of my death.
16a. It is unlikely to contain Jack Sparrow. Or Will Turner.
16b. It is likely to contain Davy Jones, however.
Number 17: That rabbit foot in the curse box might look fun but losing it is not! Keep an eye on your brother and his shoes.
Number 18: Taking your child out for ice cream may make you drive the car off into the river.
18a. This is only acceptable if your child is actually possessed, and you should not do this otherwise.
18b. Said possessed child might return. Be prepared for this event with a chainsaw.
Number 19: Visions are more trouble that they're worth, and you probably will not appreciate being 'special'.
19a. 'Special' here means that you are secretly the leader of a demon army. No, seriously, ignore the visions.
Number 20: 'Road trips' will turn you gay. You should decide whether or not this is a good thing.
20a. Unfortunately, the fangirls have already decided for you.