No Hope pt 2

[black_ladybug]

Fandom: Boondock Saints
Title: No Hope pt 2
Author: black_ladybug/sweetxpoison666
Pairing: Murphy/f
Rating: R
Warnings: Sexual content, swearing
Disclaimer: I am only borrowing the boys from Troy Duffy...
Notes: After much demand this is the continuation of No Hope and I have dedicated it to civilbloodshed ^_^
Feedback: Please? pretty please? constructive

Comments

[senseless_ilium]

*DIES*

This is really good...you didn't get like PORNO on the sex.

&&&&&& I NEED MORE.

[black_ladybug]

yea.. well *shuffles around* there's reason for that...

and you will get more.. tomorrow... after school... lol

part 1

[yue_ix]

Hm, I tend to do extremely long reviews. Sorry for that ^^;
All of these are my opinions and my grasp on the english language is by far imperfect, so I'm sorry if I've made a mistake about something. Tell me if this is the kind of reviews you are looking for, or if I should do something differently next time. I really like the story so far!

I had been watching hem for a while now
Just a typo on 'them'.

I had been watching hem for a while now, ever since Il Duce went back to Ireland to wait for them. Getting to know their habits, routines, weaknesses; but only from a distance could I observe.

Hm.. something about the lack of subject on the last sentence - while the end of the precedent's phrase was about Il Duce - makes it sounds a bit odd when I pronounce it. I really like the formulation of 'but only from a distance could I observe' though.

I looked at my glass on the table. Empty. I sighed as I looked up, seeing one of the twins walking over, chewing on his thumb

part 2

[yue_ix]

He pulled his hand out of my pants and pulled my jeans down by my belt loops to my knees followed by my underwear.
I'd suggest '..and pulled my jeans down to my knees by the belt loops, followed by my underwear'.

"He raised an eyebrow, [but] I only shrugged and gave a ‘just in case ’ look."

He gave a slight chuckle as he tore it open and slid it on. He smirked, sucking lightly on my neck
=O ! Bad Murphy, you shouldn't tear open a condom. ^_~ I do feel that the association of Murphy and smirking makes him seem more 'evil'. If he smiled more often he would look less suave, muscle!flirt, more sweet (and charming! ^^).

I let out a trembling breath and ran my fingers through his hair.
Very nice last sentence!

I really liked it, the plot seems to be deepening and some suspense settles already. =)

Re: part 2

[black_ladybug]

thank you for your input! i know i had a few things to fix seeing as i wrote it on 3 hours of sleep after midnight and a long school day.

i'm gald you enjoyed it! part 3 will probably be up by tomorrow

Re: part 2

[black_ladybug]

i was hoping that would just be the epitemy of every murphy fans dream (or something like that) it just screamed murphy when i wrote it. and i'm so glad you're enjoying this. i'm working on more right now

[sabreslt21]

Guh... Drunk Murphy is so pretty. I can't wait for more of this!!!

[black_ladybug]

yes, drunk murphy is very pretty.. hehe i'm glad you're enjoying this. that makes me happy lol

[sabreslt21]

hehe... and this story makes ME happy. Oh, and I loved the "guh..." in the story. Teehee...

<33

[black_ladybug]

lol the 'guh...' yea. first person sex scenes are... really... painstaking to write...

[akasha_lilian]

Wow, definitely different from what I thought would follow, when I read the first part. But I like it. And strangely enough I have an image of the girl in the courtroom with the red scarf in mind, can't help it! *shrugs*
But good job! More! =)

[black_ladybug]

different from what i thought too... and i'm the one writing it... scary...
but thank you and i hope you continue to enjoy it!