Honestly, I'm kind of pissed off that I don't have any candy
I don't know if it's just me of if anyone else ever thinks about this stuff, but I was thinking the other day about what makes love truly "love". I mean, when I was in high school and shit, I used to mistake things for love all the time. I thought that if you just liked someone for long enough, it meant you were in love with them, or if you liked being around them all the time, or got sad when they weren't around. Given, I'm not a philosophical genius by any means, but like, those things are all part of love, but they can never really be taken in and of themselves as being love as a whole.
The only real conclusion I came to was that the main difference between pure, true love and something... maybe not entirely unpure or dark in intention but just... something more tainted is when it goes from unconditional care and concern for the other person and their happiness to a form of selfishness, such as only being concerned that they're all "yours" and that they're there to cater only to your needs and desires without any real appreciation or return of sentiment.
I kinda think that's where a lot of couples fuck up. One person feels wronged by the other's malintent (is that a word? I just made it one) and the feeling escalates until there's no longer any love, just a person constantly on the defense under the impression that they've either done something wrong for such a thing to happen or form the impression that they deserve something better and get bitter and calloused because of it -- all the while the other person is entertaining the thought that "No one could ever love [insert their lover's name here] as much as I do, but..."
a.) "...they just don't love me back!'
b.) "...they won't ever feel the same way I do!"
c.) "...they're incapable of emotion!"
d.) "...they could never love anyone!"
e.) "...they just don't understand how I feel!"
f.) "...they won't LET me love them!"
g.) "...I'm so in love with them and would do anything for them, blah blah, but they never cared about me anyways!"
...and they think of things like this as a good excuse to get angry or break up or push the blame off of themselves when they're really all selfish bullshit excuses to begin with. Loving someone isn't about milking as much attention, affection, and understanding as possible out of someone until they're barren and dry. It's about fucking being there for someone else because you care about them - not because you want to suck all the life out of them in a failed attempt to fix your own inner conflicts.
It goes both ways and I dont see why so many people fail to grasp that concept. Or if they do, they just use it to their own advantage and scream that "Love works BOTH WAYS, you know!!" to their lover and then go on to spill something about comprimise... all this only so the other will bend and comprimise in their direction.
AND THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS.
I'm not saying I'm not or never have been guilty of this by any means. It was actually the realization that I do in many ways fall into that category on occasion. Either way, I won't always be able to live up to my own standards - we're all kinda hypocritical sometimes, right? - but in the end, love isn't about getting anything out of it for yourself or even being loved back, really... it's loving someone, no matter what the fuck the circumstances.
You gotta get the tense right.
On a separate note, last night I was in WalMart at 2 a.m. and it was ridiculous how many guys were in there getting their girlfriends flowers and presents and shit. All I could think was, "Happy Valentines Day! I'm buying off-brand Rice Krispies and spray paint!"
I'm sooo buying candy tomorrow when it's all discounted. So yeah, happy V-day.
The only real conclusion I came to was that the main difference between pure, true love and something... maybe not entirely unpure or dark in intention but just... something more tainted is when it goes from unconditional care and concern for the other person and their happiness to a form of selfishness, such as only being concerned that they're all "yours" and that they're there to cater only to your needs and desires without any real appreciation or return of sentiment.
I kinda think that's where a lot of couples fuck up. One person feels wronged by the other's malintent (is that a word? I just made it one) and the feeling escalates until there's no longer any love, just a person constantly on the defense under the impression that they've either done something wrong for such a thing to happen or form the impression that they deserve something better and get bitter and calloused because of it -- all the while the other person is entertaining the thought that "No one could ever love [insert their lover's name here] as much as I do, but..."
a.) "...they just don't love me back!'
b.) "...they won't ever feel the same way I do!"
c.) "...they're incapable of emotion!"
d.) "...they could never love anyone!"
e.) "...they just don't understand how I feel!"
f.) "...they won't LET me love them!"
g.) "...I'm so in love with them and would do anything for them, blah blah, but they never cared about me anyways!"
...and they think of things like this as a good excuse to get angry or break up or push the blame off of themselves when they're really all selfish bullshit excuses to begin with. Loving someone isn't about milking as much attention, affection, and understanding as possible out of someone until they're barren and dry. It's about fucking being there for someone else because you care about them - not because you want to suck all the life out of them in a failed attempt to fix your own inner conflicts.
It goes both ways and I dont see why so many people fail to grasp that concept. Or if they do, they just use it to their own advantage and scream that "Love works BOTH WAYS, you know!!" to their lover and then go on to spill something about comprimise... all this only so the other will bend and comprimise in their direction.
AND THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS.
I'm not saying I'm not or never have been guilty of this by any means. It was actually the realization that I do in many ways fall into that category on occasion. Either way, I won't always be able to live up to my own standards - we're all kinda hypocritical sometimes, right? - but in the end, love isn't about getting anything out of it for yourself or even being loved back, really... it's loving someone, no matter what the fuck the circumstances.
You gotta get the tense right.
On a separate note, last night I was in WalMart at 2 a.m. and it was ridiculous how many guys were in there getting their girlfriends flowers and presents and shit. All I could think was, "Happy Valentines Day! I'm buying off-brand Rice Krispies and spray paint!"
I'm sooo buying candy tomorrow when it's all discounted. So yeah, happy V-day.