SPN 10.04
SPN 10.04 Paper Moon
In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.
-- Marge Kennedy
Family. One of the themes of the show. Loving each other, sacrificing for each other, helping each other, looking out for each other.
Protecting each other.
Enter Kate and her sister Tasha. Their story isn't too far off from Sam and Dean's. Werewolf Kate who just wanted to protect her family, save her sister. Cursed to live a life she wouldn't have otherwise chosen, but doing the best she can to live anyway. And when faced with loss, she made a choice similar to what the Winchesters have done. She crossed a line to save her sister. She turned her sister into a monster in the name of saving her.
Dean: Kate and Tasha are monsters, okay? Last I checked we kill monsters.
Sam: How can you possibly blame Kate for fighting for her sister? We do it all the time!
Dean: Yeah, and that's worked wonders for us.
Moving past the obvious fact that the Winchesters continually break the rules for themselves, they at least admit to their hypocrisy in this regard. But then the question arises: did Kate really save her sister Tasha?
Sam: So back at the barn, it was all just an act to protect Tasha.
Kate: She's family. And yeah. Worth eating a bullet for. And she needs me now more than ever. This is my mess, I gotta clean it up.
Sam: And how do you plan on doing that, Kate?
Kate: By getting her out of here.
Sam: She hasn't listened to you yet, why do you think she's gonna start now?
Kate: I don't know, but I've got to try.
Kate's intentions were admirable. She only wanted what was best for her sister. She wanted to help her. But that's only good if the person you are trying to help will accept your offer. Will listen to you. If that person wants the same thing you do.
Sam and Dean are not the mirror to Kate and Tasha. They are the complete opposite.
They've both crossed lines for the sake of their sibling, but that's where the commonality ends.
Tasha wasn't interested in being "helped". She was just fine with being a monster. And unlike Demon Dean, there was no cure to being a werewolf. But the biggest difference was their aspirations for their future. Tasha wasn't content with flying under the radar, trying to control the monster.
Kate: Tasha, who are these people?
Tasha: Brandon. Travis. I turned them. They're our new family.
Werewolfe Tasha's idea of family was different than Kate's.
Tasha: You can walk away, or you can join my pack.
Kate: I'm not walking away.
Tasha: Then prove you've got what it takes. Eat his heart out.
Kate: No. No.
Instead of wanting or caring about what was best for her sister, she wanted to make Kate join her as a true monster in all aspects. Destroying the part of Kate that informed her identity. Exposing her own loss of humanity by the creation of the new "family" she was making.
Kate: I was trying to give you a second chance. You wouldn't have been... normal, but we would have had each other.
Tasha: We still can.
It forced Kate to accept something she had not wanted to admit. She hadn't saved her sister after all. The sister she knew and loved, the "good person" the human had been, died when she was turned into a werewolf.
Sam: For what it's worth, thank you. At the end of the day she was your sister.
Kate: No, she wasn't.
Shared memories and history wasn't enough to hold them together as family. As werewolves, Kate and Tasha wanted opposing things for their future, and it doomed them as a family.
Sam and Dean are different than Kate and Tasha. Because while they too have done wrong things for all the right reasons, at the end of the day they are both on the same page sharing in their concern for each other. The same shared committment to each other they've always had.
Dean to Sam: I just want you to be okay. You would do the same for me. (4.21)
So how are they doing on the listening-to-each-other front?
Surprisingly better than expected. Sure, there's some discomfort with talking about their feelings. A little bit of deflection initially. But they each persist in trying to keep the conversation going. From the beginning of the episode tracking four different conversations -- well. Really the same conversation going through some stops and starts. Both Sam and Dean do not find it easy to talk about certain things, understandably so. Looking in the mirror and seeing a possible monster, admitting to shame and fears... it's uncomfortable. But unlike Kate and Tasha, they keep at it because they both want the same thing.
So they talk, knowing that they're both in too deep to live in denial this time around.
Sam: How are you doing?
Dean: I'm golden, man.
So there's the expected wall of denial at first. But the conversation continues.
Dean: So what's this about me not being ready back there?
Sam: I wasn't trying to start something, you know, just saying I thought that was the whole point of us taking a break.
Dean: I get that, and you know, there's no worries there. But I gotta ask, what about you?
Sam: What about me what?
Dean: Are you ready?
Sam: Why wouldn't I be ready?
Dean: Lester.
Sam: You're serious? This is about Lester?
Dean: Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to start anything either. I'm just saying... maybe we ought to talk about that.
Sam: Except there's nothing to talk about.
Dean: Okay.
What at first seems like defensiveness becomes a genuine concern. Sure, it's still Dean's way of avoiding talking about himself, but he is voicing an honest concern for Sam too. Dean makes the effort to make it clear he is not attacking Sam here; he's pointing out they are both in the same boat of not wanting to look too closely in the mirror right now. He knows Sam well enough to know there is more Sam hasn't talked about, but he backs off when he sees Sam isn't ready to make that admission.
Dean: I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm doing just the opposite of complaining. I just... you know between Lester and the others-
Sam: There weren't others.
Dean: Okay. Either way, maybe we both needed that time off.
They may be family, they love each other, but they each have suffered damage in the process of surviving and holding on to each other. And it's not over yet, either. That's the real monster lurking in the closet. Not what's been done, but what still might come to pass.
Sam: Well, we're still here, aren't we?
Dean: Yeah, but is it right? All that you've done for me, I've still got this Mark.
Sam: And we'll figure that out. We always do. But you can't take what's happened to us or to you and dump it at these girls' feet.
Dean, in his own way, is trying to be honest about what still might be coming and what Sam might have to face. Save or kill your brother, just as Kate was in a no-win save or kill her sister situation. One problem with that laudable intention. Sam has already made his choice in this regard. They've already lived out that nightmare and answered that question.
Sam: I lied about Lester. There were others.
Dean: Other humans?
Sam: No no no. I'm sure there were a few hunters I punched the wrong way. But no. I pretty much saved my best stuff for the bad guys. But you've got to understand something, Dean. I watched you die. And I carried you, I carried your corpse into your room and I put your dead body on your bed. And then you just...
Dean: Yeah. I know.
Sam is the first to open up and not just address the facts of their recent past but talk about his feelings. Sharing his shame about what he did on the path to saving Dean wasn't easy. But the thing it, Dean wasn't judging him. He understood the pain and grief that drove Sam's choices and actions. And it become his turn to reciprocate and share a little himself.
Dean: It's embarrassing, you know?
Sam: What's embarrassing?
Dean: All of it. The note. Crowley. Everything.
Sam: Dean, you were a demon.
Dean: I was a demon? Oh thanks, I didn't realize it. Not to mention I never even said thank you.
Sam: You don't ever have to say that. Not to me.
It doesn't seem like much of an admission. But for Dean, failing to be the Big Brother he's always been, disappearing with just a note, dumping his brother's company for a demon's.... that's a big failure in his own book. Demon or no demon soul.
This is what makes their bond so strong. Because they don't have to say thank you to each other. Not for this kind of saving. But it's nice to hear, nonetheless.
Which leads us to the final conversation between Sam and Dean. Because it's not over for Dean. That monster in the closet isn't just about saving Dean from being a demon.
Sam: Dean, you were a demon. You still have the Mark. Didn't you ever want to talk about it?
Dean: Talk about it? Talk about it how?
Sam: Come on, man.
Dean: I am coming on, Sam. Look, I know what happened, okay? I was there, remember? I'm not trying to get by it. That's not what this was about.
Sam: Then what is this about?
Dean: It's about getting back in the saddle. Doing something good and not stewing in my own crap.
Sam: What if you're not ready?
Sam shares Dean's worry about what still might be coming. The Mark is what turned Dean into a demon. It didn't happen overnight. Dean was using the First Blade, and right now that is out of his reach. But - like Kate and Tasha's werewolf transformation - he's not completely "normal" right now, despite his humanity being restored. Sam's first solution is to try keeping Dean from actions of violence and killing - behaviours the Mark seems to encourage and amplify. But like Kate and Tasha, Dean's got choices still in front of him. He can be the monster or he can try to control it. Try to do some good with this "curse".
Will it come to the same tragic end that Kate and Tasha had?
I say with confidence: No. Because, as I mentioned above, Dean and Sam have proven to be the opposite mirrors of Kate and Tasha. It's not going to be a cake-walk for them, but they're talking. Sharing. Listening.
Dean: Let's say you're right.
Sam: About what?
Dean: Everything. Maybe I'm not ready to hunt. But I am just trying to do the right thing, man. 'Cause I am so sick and tired of doing the wrong one.
In the end, both Sam and Dean want the same thing: to do the right thing. They don't always succeed, but they are still trying. Still supporting each other. Facing their future not just as individuals but as a unit. Family.
In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.
-- Marge Kennedy
Family. One of the themes of the show. Loving each other, sacrificing for each other, helping each other, looking out for each other.
Protecting each other.
Enter Kate and her sister Tasha. Their story isn't too far off from Sam and Dean's. Werewolf Kate who just wanted to protect her family, save her sister. Cursed to live a life she wouldn't have otherwise chosen, but doing the best she can to live anyway. And when faced with loss, she made a choice similar to what the Winchesters have done. She crossed a line to save her sister. She turned her sister into a monster in the name of saving her.
Dean: Kate and Tasha are monsters, okay? Last I checked we kill monsters.
Sam: How can you possibly blame Kate for fighting for her sister? We do it all the time!
Dean: Yeah, and that's worked wonders for us.
Moving past the obvious fact that the Winchesters continually break the rules for themselves, they at least admit to their hypocrisy in this regard. But then the question arises: did Kate really save her sister Tasha?
Sam: So back at the barn, it was all just an act to protect Tasha.
Kate: She's family. And yeah. Worth eating a bullet for. And she needs me now more than ever. This is my mess, I gotta clean it up.
Sam: And how do you plan on doing that, Kate?
Kate: By getting her out of here.
Sam: She hasn't listened to you yet, why do you think she's gonna start now?
Kate: I don't know, but I've got to try.
Kate's intentions were admirable. She only wanted what was best for her sister. She wanted to help her. But that's only good if the person you are trying to help will accept your offer. Will listen to you. If that person wants the same thing you do.
Sam and Dean are not the mirror to Kate and Tasha. They are the complete opposite.
They've both crossed lines for the sake of their sibling, but that's where the commonality ends.
Tasha wasn't interested in being "helped". She was just fine with being a monster. And unlike Demon Dean, there was no cure to being a werewolf. But the biggest difference was their aspirations for their future. Tasha wasn't content with flying under the radar, trying to control the monster.
Kate: Tasha, who are these people?
Tasha: Brandon. Travis. I turned them. They're our new family.
Werewolfe Tasha's idea of family was different than Kate's.
Tasha: You can walk away, or you can join my pack.
Kate: I'm not walking away.
Tasha: Then prove you've got what it takes. Eat his heart out.
Kate: No. No.
Instead of wanting or caring about what was best for her sister, she wanted to make Kate join her as a true monster in all aspects. Destroying the part of Kate that informed her identity. Exposing her own loss of humanity by the creation of the new "family" she was making.
Kate: I was trying to give you a second chance. You wouldn't have been... normal, but we would have had each other.
Tasha: We still can.
It forced Kate to accept something she had not wanted to admit. She hadn't saved her sister after all. The sister she knew and loved, the "good person" the human had been, died when she was turned into a werewolf.
Sam: For what it's worth, thank you. At the end of the day she was your sister.
Kate: No, she wasn't.
Shared memories and history wasn't enough to hold them together as family. As werewolves, Kate and Tasha wanted opposing things for their future, and it doomed them as a family.
Sam and Dean are different than Kate and Tasha. Because while they too have done wrong things for all the right reasons, at the end of the day they are both on the same page sharing in their concern for each other. The same shared committment to each other they've always had.
Dean to Sam: I just want you to be okay. You would do the same for me. (4.21)
So how are they doing on the listening-to-each-other front?
Surprisingly better than expected. Sure, there's some discomfort with talking about their feelings. A little bit of deflection initially. But they each persist in trying to keep the conversation going. From the beginning of the episode tracking four different conversations -- well. Really the same conversation going through some stops and starts. Both Sam and Dean do not find it easy to talk about certain things, understandably so. Looking in the mirror and seeing a possible monster, admitting to shame and fears... it's uncomfortable. But unlike Kate and Tasha, they keep at it because they both want the same thing.
So they talk, knowing that they're both in too deep to live in denial this time around.
Sam: How are you doing?
Dean: I'm golden, man.
So there's the expected wall of denial at first. But the conversation continues.
Dean: So what's this about me not being ready back there?
Sam: I wasn't trying to start something, you know, just saying I thought that was the whole point of us taking a break.
Dean: I get that, and you know, there's no worries there. But I gotta ask, what about you?
Sam: What about me what?
Dean: Are you ready?
Sam: Why wouldn't I be ready?
Dean: Lester.
Sam: You're serious? This is about Lester?
Dean: Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to start anything either. I'm just saying... maybe we ought to talk about that.
Sam: Except there's nothing to talk about.
Dean: Okay.
What at first seems like defensiveness becomes a genuine concern. Sure, it's still Dean's way of avoiding talking about himself, but he is voicing an honest concern for Sam too. Dean makes the effort to make it clear he is not attacking Sam here; he's pointing out they are both in the same boat of not wanting to look too closely in the mirror right now. He knows Sam well enough to know there is more Sam hasn't talked about, but he backs off when he sees Sam isn't ready to make that admission.
Dean: I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm doing just the opposite of complaining. I just... you know between Lester and the others-
Sam: There weren't others.
Dean: Okay. Either way, maybe we both needed that time off.
They may be family, they love each other, but they each have suffered damage in the process of surviving and holding on to each other. And it's not over yet, either. That's the real monster lurking in the closet. Not what's been done, but what still might come to pass.
Sam: Well, we're still here, aren't we?
Dean: Yeah, but is it right? All that you've done for me, I've still got this Mark.
Sam: And we'll figure that out. We always do. But you can't take what's happened to us or to you and dump it at these girls' feet.
Dean, in his own way, is trying to be honest about what still might be coming and what Sam might have to face. Save or kill your brother, just as Kate was in a no-win save or kill her sister situation. One problem with that laudable intention. Sam has already made his choice in this regard. They've already lived out that nightmare and answered that question.
Sam: I lied about Lester. There were others.
Dean: Other humans?
Sam: No no no. I'm sure there were a few hunters I punched the wrong way. But no. I pretty much saved my best stuff for the bad guys. But you've got to understand something, Dean. I watched you die. And I carried you, I carried your corpse into your room and I put your dead body on your bed. And then you just...
Dean: Yeah. I know.
Sam is the first to open up and not just address the facts of their recent past but talk about his feelings. Sharing his shame about what he did on the path to saving Dean wasn't easy. But the thing it, Dean wasn't judging him. He understood the pain and grief that drove Sam's choices and actions. And it become his turn to reciprocate and share a little himself.
Dean: It's embarrassing, you know?
Sam: What's embarrassing?
Dean: All of it. The note. Crowley. Everything.
Sam: Dean, you were a demon.
Dean: I was a demon? Oh thanks, I didn't realize it. Not to mention I never even said thank you.
Sam: You don't ever have to say that. Not to me.
It doesn't seem like much of an admission. But for Dean, failing to be the Big Brother he's always been, disappearing with just a note, dumping his brother's company for a demon's.... that's a big failure in his own book. Demon or no demon soul.
This is what makes their bond so strong. Because they don't have to say thank you to each other. Not for this kind of saving. But it's nice to hear, nonetheless.
Which leads us to the final conversation between Sam and Dean. Because it's not over for Dean. That monster in the closet isn't just about saving Dean from being a demon.
Sam: Dean, you were a demon. You still have the Mark. Didn't you ever want to talk about it?
Dean: Talk about it? Talk about it how?
Sam: Come on, man.
Dean: I am coming on, Sam. Look, I know what happened, okay? I was there, remember? I'm not trying to get by it. That's not what this was about.
Sam: Then what is this about?
Dean: It's about getting back in the saddle. Doing something good and not stewing in my own crap.
Sam: What if you're not ready?
Sam shares Dean's worry about what still might be coming. The Mark is what turned Dean into a demon. It didn't happen overnight. Dean was using the First Blade, and right now that is out of his reach. But - like Kate and Tasha's werewolf transformation - he's not completely "normal" right now, despite his humanity being restored. Sam's first solution is to try keeping Dean from actions of violence and killing - behaviours the Mark seems to encourage and amplify. But like Kate and Tasha, Dean's got choices still in front of him. He can be the monster or he can try to control it. Try to do some good with this "curse".
Will it come to the same tragic end that Kate and Tasha had?
I say with confidence: No. Because, as I mentioned above, Dean and Sam have proven to be the opposite mirrors of Kate and Tasha. It's not going to be a cake-walk for them, but they're talking. Sharing. Listening.
Dean: Let's say you're right.
Sam: About what?
Dean: Everything. Maybe I'm not ready to hunt. But I am just trying to do the right thing, man. 'Cause I am so sick and tired of doing the wrong one.
In the end, both Sam and Dean want the same thing: to do the right thing. They don't always succeed, but they are still trying. Still supporting each other. Facing their future not just as individuals but as a unit. Family.