SPN 11.13 Love Hurts
Rolling out another catchup SPN review, yay! It's nice to kinda wallow in our show.
SPN 11.13 Love Hurts
Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.
-- Albert Einstein
Sam and Dean live in a world where getting what one wants most comes with a steep price tag -- there is no perfect solution, things always get messy and complicated. Why would this case be any different?
So, the question of the episode: is there a difference between love and desire?
The answer, of course, is both yes and no. Love can encompass desire, but each can also be independent from the other.
Take Melissa and Dan, for example. Cheating husband and cuckolded wife.
Cheating Dan and the House-Wrecking Stacy were presented as about as unsympathically as victims of the monster of the week can be, but they were highlighting the dark side of the equation: selfish desire. One could say this was the dark side of desire, the kind that doesn't care about hurting others, overcoming any promptings of conscience about right or wrong. It doesn't get more wrong than a husband cheating on his wife with the younger babysitter. We were never supposed to see them as being in love, just an ugly cliche of a wrong kind of relationship that ends marriages and breaks apart families, not leading to anything positive.
Melissa had figured it out, but as hurt as she was, she still held onto hope that what she and Dan had as a family was worth fighting for.
Melissa: I loved Dan. Still do. It may sound pathetic, but I thought we still had a chance.
She knew he was infatuated with the babysitter, but her feelings were genuine love. Unfortunately, while her goal was to try to save her marriage, her means of going about it led to the worst possible outcome.
Melissa: She calls herself a uh… white witch. Listen, I don’t know if you believe in that sort of thing. I usually don’t, but I was desperate.
Dean: And let me guess. She gave you a spell.
Melissa: Yes. A return to love spell. All I had to do was chant it and seal it with a kiss. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I swear. I just wanted my husband back.
Desperate people make poor choices. We've seen that far too many times, including Sam and Dean. She thought she was buying a love spell but really bought a curse.
Sam: Wow. Okay for starters. Not a spell. More like an Aramaic curse.
Ahhhh, and here is where it gets interesting.
Sam: Someone chants the curse and lays a wet one on you, then the victim is seduced and killed by the qareen. But instead of taking the form of Barbara Eden, they present themselves as your deepest, darkest desire.
The curse isn't about love at all. Making the delineation between love and desire, two different things. The Winchesters have had a lot of experience dealing with curses lately. Dean is already dealing with the lingering affects of having worn the Mark, and now he turns himself into another target to try protecting Melissa from the monster she accidentally set upon herself.
Sam: Wait. Are you serious? You think it’s a great idea to give yourself a fatal curse?
Dean: Well, target's off her back, ain’t it?
Sam: I’m just saying. You don’t have to do this. Be the guinea pig.
Dean: What?
Sam: Be the martyr. Try to carry the weight by yourself. Do this.
Dean: I’m gonna be fine, okay? And as long as I’m good, she’s good and that’s the important thing.
Dean had to have an inkling of what he was setting up for himself here. Not just placing himself as a shield in front of Melissa to buy her an extra layer of protection until they figured out a way to destroy the qareen, but risking exposing his own connection to Amara in the process.
Qareen /Fake!Amara: I can see inside your heart, feel the love you feel. Except, it's cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can't help yourself. So why fight it? Just give in.
Why fight it? Why not just give in to something beyond his ability to control?
Because Dean might not be able to control what he feels for Amara, but he can absolutely try his best to do the right thing, not the wrong thing. He knows what his goals are, he just fears that he can't get the job done. Anyone can desire something they don't want to, but that doesn't make it love. The qareen used the word "love" to describe what Dean supposedly feels for Amara, but all we have to do is go back to the basic description of the curse -- sold as a love spell but was actually a curse designed to destroy, the killer taking the form of one's dark desire. And additionally tweaked to eventually destroy the person who activated the curse.
Confusion of definition or perception.
Dean: Honestly? What, you seriously think the sister of God is my deepest, darkest desire?
Sam: She isn't?
Dean: No, she can't be.
Sam: Why not?
Dean: Why? Because if she was, then that means I'm-
Sam: Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?
Dean: For starters, yeah.
Sam: Dean, do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God. And for some reason she picked you, and that sucks, but if you think I'm gonna blame you or judge you, I'm not.
Sam has a handle on what the difference between choice and compulsion is. He recognizes Dean's fear that having this connection with Amara means he actually wants or welcomes that connection. He has also been observer to Dean's struggles to control the effects of the Mark. He realizes this is pretty much an extension of that curse. He saw Dean fighting the Mark with everything he had, and he never swayed in his belief that his brother is a good man, that the Mark was an external influence exerting a control Dean fought to keep from overtaking himself.
It's an extra hurdle for them to overcome. Having the sister of God taking a special interest in his brother is probably freaking Sam out too, but he has figured out the best way to talk about it with Dean. Letting Dean open the subject and confess what's going on between himself and Amara. We saw Sam wasn't too surprised by the confession, so instead of it being this Big Reveal, it just became an opportunity to keep communication open between himself and Dean. No need for secrets, no need for shame.
Dean: Standing here right now? Every bone in my body wants to run her through, send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I'm near her... I don't know -- something happens. I can't explain it. But to call it desire or love -- it's not that. I'm screwed, man. We want to kill the Darkness. We need to kill the Darkness. And I don't think I can.
Oh Dean, you say the words but do you fully believe? There is no confusion of goals here -- the Darkness needs to be killed. There is a stated confusion of means, however. He says we need to kill the Darkness but follows it up with the "I" statement. I don't think I can. In Dean's mind, in a perfect world he'd be the one to kill her. It's part of how he is wired. Take the hit, be the martyr, make or share the kill. It's not that he sees everyone else as not capable, but in his mind it's his job.
It is a tough admission for Dean to make, that he can't do this one by himself. But he's got Sam, willing and anxious to share the weight. When they work together, the Winchesters don't always get things done perfectly, but they usually get the job done, one way or another.
Can brotherly love and loyalty trump the darkness of whatever Amara throws their way, one more time?
SPN 11.13 Love Hurts
Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.
-- Albert Einstein
Sam and Dean live in a world where getting what one wants most comes with a steep price tag -- there is no perfect solution, things always get messy and complicated. Why would this case be any different?
So, the question of the episode: is there a difference between love and desire?
The answer, of course, is both yes and no. Love can encompass desire, but each can also be independent from the other.
Take Melissa and Dan, for example. Cheating husband and cuckolded wife.
Cheating Dan and the House-Wrecking Stacy were presented as about as unsympathically as victims of the monster of the week can be, but they were highlighting the dark side of the equation: selfish desire. One could say this was the dark side of desire, the kind that doesn't care about hurting others, overcoming any promptings of conscience about right or wrong. It doesn't get more wrong than a husband cheating on his wife with the younger babysitter. We were never supposed to see them as being in love, just an ugly cliche of a wrong kind of relationship that ends marriages and breaks apart families, not leading to anything positive.
Melissa had figured it out, but as hurt as she was, she still held onto hope that what she and Dan had as a family was worth fighting for.
Melissa: I loved Dan. Still do. It may sound pathetic, but I thought we still had a chance.
She knew he was infatuated with the babysitter, but her feelings were genuine love. Unfortunately, while her goal was to try to save her marriage, her means of going about it led to the worst possible outcome.
Melissa: She calls herself a uh… white witch. Listen, I don’t know if you believe in that sort of thing. I usually don’t, but I was desperate.
Dean: And let me guess. She gave you a spell.
Melissa: Yes. A return to love spell. All I had to do was chant it and seal it with a kiss. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I swear. I just wanted my husband back.
Desperate people make poor choices. We've seen that far too many times, including Sam and Dean. She thought she was buying a love spell but really bought a curse.
Sam: Wow. Okay for starters. Not a spell. More like an Aramaic curse.
Ahhhh, and here is where it gets interesting.
Sam: Someone chants the curse and lays a wet one on you, then the victim is seduced and killed by the qareen. But instead of taking the form of Barbara Eden, they present themselves as your deepest, darkest desire.
The curse isn't about love at all. Making the delineation between love and desire, two different things. The Winchesters have had a lot of experience dealing with curses lately. Dean is already dealing with the lingering affects of having worn the Mark, and now he turns himself into another target to try protecting Melissa from the monster she accidentally set upon herself.
Sam: Wait. Are you serious? You think it’s a great idea to give yourself a fatal curse?
Dean: Well, target's off her back, ain’t it?
Sam: I’m just saying. You don’t have to do this. Be the guinea pig.
Dean: What?
Sam: Be the martyr. Try to carry the weight by yourself. Do this.
Dean: I’m gonna be fine, okay? And as long as I’m good, she’s good and that’s the important thing.
Dean had to have an inkling of what he was setting up for himself here. Not just placing himself as a shield in front of Melissa to buy her an extra layer of protection until they figured out a way to destroy the qareen, but risking exposing his own connection to Amara in the process.
Qareen /Fake!Amara: I can see inside your heart, feel the love you feel. Except, it's cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can't help yourself. So why fight it? Just give in.
Why fight it? Why not just give in to something beyond his ability to control?
Because Dean might not be able to control what he feels for Amara, but he can absolutely try his best to do the right thing, not the wrong thing. He knows what his goals are, he just fears that he can't get the job done. Anyone can desire something they don't want to, but that doesn't make it love. The qareen used the word "love" to describe what Dean supposedly feels for Amara, but all we have to do is go back to the basic description of the curse -- sold as a love spell but was actually a curse designed to destroy, the killer taking the form of one's dark desire. And additionally tweaked to eventually destroy the person who activated the curse.
Confusion of definition or perception.
Dean: Honestly? What, you seriously think the sister of God is my deepest, darkest desire?
Sam: She isn't?
Dean: No, she can't be.
Sam: Why not?
Dean: Why? Because if she was, then that means I'm-
Sam: Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?
Dean: For starters, yeah.
Sam: Dean, do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God. And for some reason she picked you, and that sucks, but if you think I'm gonna blame you or judge you, I'm not.
Sam has a handle on what the difference between choice and compulsion is. He recognizes Dean's fear that having this connection with Amara means he actually wants or welcomes that connection. He has also been observer to Dean's struggles to control the effects of the Mark. He realizes this is pretty much an extension of that curse. He saw Dean fighting the Mark with everything he had, and he never swayed in his belief that his brother is a good man, that the Mark was an external influence exerting a control Dean fought to keep from overtaking himself.
It's an extra hurdle for them to overcome. Having the sister of God taking a special interest in his brother is probably freaking Sam out too, but he has figured out the best way to talk about it with Dean. Letting Dean open the subject and confess what's going on between himself and Amara. We saw Sam wasn't too surprised by the confession, so instead of it being this Big Reveal, it just became an opportunity to keep communication open between himself and Dean. No need for secrets, no need for shame.
Dean: Standing here right now? Every bone in my body wants to run her through, send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I'm near her... I don't know -- something happens. I can't explain it. But to call it desire or love -- it's not that. I'm screwed, man. We want to kill the Darkness. We need to kill the Darkness. And I don't think I can.
Oh Dean, you say the words but do you fully believe? There is no confusion of goals here -- the Darkness needs to be killed. There is a stated confusion of means, however. He says we need to kill the Darkness but follows it up with the "I" statement. I don't think I can. In Dean's mind, in a perfect world he'd be the one to kill her. It's part of how he is wired. Take the hit, be the martyr, make or share the kill. It's not that he sees everyone else as not capable, but in his mind it's his job.
It is a tough admission for Dean to make, that he can't do this one by himself. But he's got Sam, willing and anxious to share the weight. When they work together, the Winchesters don't always get things done perfectly, but they usually get the job done, one way or another.
Can brotherly love and loyalty trump the darkness of whatever Amara throws their way, one more time?