i am much too tired to have anything inspirational to say...
i think i've learned that people need to be secure in themselves in order to have successful relationships. i think to be a successful partner you need to learn how to push your other into better places.
i hardly had the storybook romance with mark, but i know happiness beyond comprehension with him. we've had ups and downs and breakups, but it never feels like work to make it work.
i wonder what is wrong, if it is an imagined problem, or if you are truly unfulfilled, and what aron thinks of it all.
I'm fairly certain it's an imagined problem. I'm insecure with myself in relationships. I know that I could go out to a bar right now and get into the pants of most anyone I want, but somewhere in between sex for fun, and relationships, my confidence breaks down. I don't understand why anyone would want to spend a lengthy amount of time *with me*. Really it's the same old stupid shit with me.
Aron's email is elduderino42@gmail.com, if you'd like to know what he thinks.
If you don't want the bullshit that things hurt so that we can appreciate joy -- which is a backwards formulation of the process, I think; we're rather lucky we can experience joy after so much pain -- then let me say just this...
It's just part of the process. It's just the way it is. Why isn't a valid question, though it's inspirational that we're able to ask it. Stars die to create carbon, nitrogen, and gold. Every bit of light you see is the absorption -and-this-end of a photon. Complexity arises out of choices made to choose THIS thing over ANOTHER THING; an irrevocable choice. Death, blood, pain, anguish, entropy; these things have more of the stuff of life in them than joy, love, and contentment.
Or, another way of saying it is: you hurt because something you're doing is wrong, and the pain is there to tell you that. Don't ignore the pain. It's an important message.
I'll be okay. I needed time to let it all blow over. I am frightened of who I am in relationships. I am terrified of another Andy, and that hurts Aron. It hurts him because he hasn't done anything wrong. The only marks against him, are the stupid ones drawn up in my head because of Andy.
Maybe I'm not as over it as I thought I was. I certainly don't *miss* him, and it doesn't hurt anymore, but I still have this strange caution towards love because of it.
wow, so after the night i have had, week rather, to find this on your page is....well....it just seems to fit so well with how i feel. i dont know if you wrote this, if you are feeling these powerful words, and quite frankly since i am, i hope that you are not, boy does it suck to feel these words so much. well, i know if you are feeling this way there is nothing i can say to make you feel better, since there is nothing anyone can do for me. thank you for putting into words how i feel at this moment. i hope everything is well with you.
These things come true in their own little ways. The movies suck because we're all expecting Prince Charming and his formula, and when Mr. Right breaks the mold and takes a different route, sometimes we miss it.
The only romance I want is something Bard would sing oftommytwotoneDecember 17 2005, 15:54:13 UTC
I think some people want things far to grand to ever be satisfied with the way life actually turns out. Personally, I'd rather be miserable, but with my dreams and ambitions far outstripping anything life could give, cause I only want to dream the biggest dreams.
And I'd defend your honor anytime. Ghouls, Mongol Hordes, whathaveyou
Re: The only romance I want is something Bard would sing oftommytwotoneDecember 26 2005, 18:48:21 UTC
I don't know... I'd have to track down the ellusive ashely, and last time I talked about it, she didn't think I could go with her as she was taking plane. But maybe something could be done during spring break. Also, I think you should send your address to jtowe@eden.rutgers.edu so that I can write letters.
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i am much too tired to have anything inspirational to say...
i think i've learned that people need to be secure in themselves in order to have successful relationships. i think to be a successful partner you need to learn how to push your other into better places.
i hardly had the storybook romance with mark, but i know happiness beyond comprehension with him. we've had ups and downs and breakups, but it never feels like work to make it work.
i wonder what is wrong, if it is an imagined problem, or if you are truly unfulfilled, and what aron thinks of it all.
wish you were here.
Reply
Aron's email is elduderino42@gmail.com, if you'd like to know what he thinks.
I'm not really that sure at this point.
Wish I was there (or you were here).
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It's just part of the process. It's just the way it is. Why isn't a valid question, though it's inspirational that we're able to ask it. Stars die to create carbon, nitrogen, and gold. Every bit of light you see is the absorption -and-this-end of a photon. Complexity arises out of choices made to choose THIS thing over ANOTHER THING; an irrevocable choice. Death, blood, pain, anguish, entropy; these things have more of the stuff of life in them than joy, love, and contentment.
Or, another way of saying it is: you hurt because something you're doing is wrong, and the pain is there to tell you that. Don't ignore the pain. It's an important message.
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Maybe I'm not as over it as I thought I was. I certainly don't *miss* him, and it doesn't hurt anymore, but I still have this strange caution towards love because of it.
*meh*
Maybe, somethings will never change.
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And I'd defend your honor anytime. Ghouls, Mongol Hordes, whathaveyou
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I know you'd defend my honor, and it makes me feel loved and it breaks my heart all at the same time.
I wish you could come to Cleveland.
Ashley is coming from the 28th-7th of January maybe she'll bring you. Thoughts?
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