Tales from the gym...
One of my New Years resolutions was to get back in the gym and get myself back into shape. So January 1st I joined the Ballys down the street and Ive been hitting the gym religiously 3 times a week. I havent belonged to a gym for about two years so I had pretty much forgotten the types of characters you find in your average gym. I know everyone doesnt go to the gym in the same manner that I do, some people socialize while I do my two hours and hit the shower. For those of you who dont know what Im talkin about I'll give you a break down.
The Posers -
Brand new Airmax = $120, Brand new Under Armor outfit = $85, Brand New Nike gym bag = $35, Brand New Nike arm & wrist bands = $24.99, 24oz bottle of Vitamin Water = $3.99. Standing around the gym for an hour and a half while working out for approximately 15 minutes = Expensive as fuck. Key signs of "The Poser" they look just as fly when they finish their workout as when they began.
The Old Glory Hounds -
These are the cats that benched about 375lbs back in the day and were probably studs back in '87. But right now their stomachs probably weight about 87lbs, and their work out consist of standing around the free weights talking shit with the other "Old Glory Hounds". Key signs of an "Old Glory Hound" they wear their fraternity shirt to workout (but its not an old raggedy one, its new and crisp).
The Down Low Brotha-
Believe me there are more DL guys in the gym than you would imagine. They appear to be the average guy (or gal in some cases), but you notice that they pay a just a tad bit too much attention whenever a guy is using the squat rack, or they always seem to be looking directly at you as soon as you step out of the shower. Key signs of "The Down Low Brotha" they are WAY too ready to spot you on the squat rack or bench press.
The Wack Macks-
"Wack Macks" consist of guys that come to gym only to holla at women, or women that pretend they dont know what they're doing so guys will come and assist. Key signs of a "Wack Mack" are the guys that give the most fitness advice, but are in the worst shape; and the girls that just havent quite figured out free weights... for the past 4 weeks.
These are usually my sources of entertainment for me while Im on the treadmill or stretching. Sometimes I wish I could get Michael Moorer to stash secret cameras around the gym and narrate all the shit that I know 85% of the people in the gym are thinking.
xx - cross posted to personal journal - xx
The Posers -
Brand new Airmax = $120, Brand new Under Armor outfit = $85, Brand New Nike gym bag = $35, Brand New Nike arm & wrist bands = $24.99, 24oz bottle of Vitamin Water = $3.99. Standing around the gym for an hour and a half while working out for approximately 15 minutes = Expensive as fuck. Key signs of "The Poser" they look just as fly when they finish their workout as when they began.
The Old Glory Hounds -
These are the cats that benched about 375lbs back in the day and were probably studs back in '87. But right now their stomachs probably weight about 87lbs, and their work out consist of standing around the free weights talking shit with the other "Old Glory Hounds". Key signs of an "Old Glory Hound" they wear their fraternity shirt to workout (but its not an old raggedy one, its new and crisp).
The Down Low Brotha-
Believe me there are more DL guys in the gym than you would imagine. They appear to be the average guy (or gal in some cases), but you notice that they pay a just a tad bit too much attention whenever a guy is using the squat rack, or they always seem to be looking directly at you as soon as you step out of the shower. Key signs of "The Down Low Brotha" they are WAY too ready to spot you on the squat rack or bench press.
The Wack Macks-
"Wack Macks" consist of guys that come to gym only to holla at women, or women that pretend they dont know what they're doing so guys will come and assist. Key signs of a "Wack Mack" are the guys that give the most fitness advice, but are in the worst shape; and the girls that just havent quite figured out free weights... for the past 4 weeks.
These are usually my sources of entertainment for me while Im on the treadmill or stretching. Sometimes I wish I could get Michael Moorer to stash secret cameras around the gym and narrate all the shit that I know 85% of the people in the gym are thinking.
xx - cross posted to personal journal - xx