Writer's Block: If Animals Could Talk

[blackiestark]

Can you really taste the difference between brands of pet food, or is that bullshit? 

Comments

[claws_n_stripes]

Yes, this. But you assume your pet won't lie!

[blackiestark]

Hey, my pet and I have a special bond. It would never lie to me. Yes, sometimes it goes away for days at a time, but that's just because it needs its freedom. You know how pets are. And it scratches me sometimes, but only when I deserve it. What's that? That's okay, I don't have to pet you right now. I'll wait.

[nsingman]

You're much nicer than I am, Rob. I'd ask "Do you really taste like chicken?" Unless, of course, it was a pet chicken.

[nsingman]

Oh, wait - even better! I'd ask "Do you find those PETA folks annoying, too?"

[blackiestark]

I asked a sea kitten that, but it just kept saying "Please..." and gasping. Weird. So I threw it back in the water.

[freckledphreak]

I plan on eating sea kittens every Friday for the next 6 weeks! I'm a traditionalist you know.

[freckledphreak]

hahaha awesome question!

[blackiestark]

*grope*

[ertchin]

"When we buy you diet cat food, you just eat more of it to compensate, don't you?"

No, wait.

"Why do you so strongly prefer to puke on the carpet, when we have graciously provided you with several entire rooms free of carpet?"