Because you are Headcrab Zombie!
So, it's been a while, yeah? You guys know my excuses by now; have a miscellaneous fic as an apology.
Title: What happens in Paris.
Rating: G
Summary: She was the world's greatest thief; he was the man sent to find her.
A/N: I'm actually kind of proud of this one. Pairing is a surprise :]
Agent Handford took a sip from his glass, rolling the tart sweetness on his tongue. All the best things in life, he mused, were red: the wine in his flute, the stripes on his sweater, the signature of the woman across from him. He said as much to his lunch partner, then agent set his glass down and went back his fish.
“Oh, now you've made forget what I was saying,” she laughed, delicately covering her mouth with a hand.
“I believe,” he replied, “You were telling me about your latest heist.”
The woman batted her long eyelashes. “That's strange, I remember asking you about the location of ACME headquarters.” She pouted. “Those years working for the Detective Agency have stolen your accent.”
Agent Handford pressed his mouth to his napkin. “Yes, sacrifices had to be made. Like the Hope Diamond.”
Rogue (as she'd taken to calling herself once she learned Agent Handford's codename) laughed again. “Is that all you'll talk about? You make me feel unloved. Can't we get through the dating phase before we move onto finances?”
Agent Handford sighed and replaced his napkin in his lap. “You know if I don't return it, ACME will reassign me to another case.”
The woman smiled like a cat that knew too much. “Can't have that, can we?” She replied at length, and slid an envelope of paper across the table. Agent Handford flicked it open and read the address inside.
“That's in the Latin Quarter, isn't it?”
“Perhaps.” Rogue dabbed at her lips without smudging her makeup. “But it's time for me to move on.” She gathered her wrap and hat, red of course. “Can't have you turning me in, can we?”
Agent Handford smiled. “No, can't have that.” He put a few bills on the table and pulled on his coat. Rogue pouted again.
“Must you cover your shirt? It's so charming.”
“Must you cover your trail?”
She smiled again. “Always. I know how much you love to follow, and you know how much I love being followed. We would both be bored without it.”
Agent Handford smiled back. “Of course.”
Rogue settled into her clothes, then leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Until next time, Waldo.”
Waldo watched her as she left, noting the exact height of her heels and the exact width of her hat. “Until next time, Carmen.”
A/N II: Where's Waldo was originally an English book called Where's Wally by one Martin Handford, which built a franchise of seven (official) books, a TV series, a comic strip, and a series of video games. ACME is the agency that chases Carmen, who works for the VILE agency; ACME would jump at the chance to have such an elusive agent (I think).
Title: What happens in Paris.
Rating: G
Summary: She was the world's greatest thief; he was the man sent to find her.
A/N: I'm actually kind of proud of this one. Pairing is a surprise :]
Agent Handford took a sip from his glass, rolling the tart sweetness on his tongue. All the best things in life, he mused, were red: the wine in his flute, the stripes on his sweater, the signature of the woman across from him. He said as much to his lunch partner, then agent set his glass down and went back his fish.
“Oh, now you've made forget what I was saying,” she laughed, delicately covering her mouth with a hand.
“I believe,” he replied, “You were telling me about your latest heist.”
The woman batted her long eyelashes. “That's strange, I remember asking you about the location of ACME headquarters.” She pouted. “Those years working for the Detective Agency have stolen your accent.”
Agent Handford pressed his mouth to his napkin. “Yes, sacrifices had to be made. Like the Hope Diamond.”
Rogue (as she'd taken to calling herself once she learned Agent Handford's codename) laughed again. “Is that all you'll talk about? You make me feel unloved. Can't we get through the dating phase before we move onto finances?”
Agent Handford sighed and replaced his napkin in his lap. “You know if I don't return it, ACME will reassign me to another case.”
The woman smiled like a cat that knew too much. “Can't have that, can we?” She replied at length, and slid an envelope of paper across the table. Agent Handford flicked it open and read the address inside.
“That's in the Latin Quarter, isn't it?”
“Perhaps.” Rogue dabbed at her lips without smudging her makeup. “But it's time for me to move on.” She gathered her wrap and hat, red of course. “Can't have you turning me in, can we?”
Agent Handford smiled. “No, can't have that.” He put a few bills on the table and pulled on his coat. Rogue pouted again.
“Must you cover your shirt? It's so charming.”
“Must you cover your trail?”
She smiled again. “Always. I know how much you love to follow, and you know how much I love being followed. We would both be bored without it.”
Agent Handford smiled back. “Of course.”
Rogue settled into her clothes, then leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Until next time, Waldo.”
Waldo watched her as she left, noting the exact height of her heels and the exact width of her hat. “Until next time, Carmen.”
A/N II: Where's Waldo was originally an English book called Where's Wally by one Martin Handford, which built a franchise of seven (official) books, a TV series, a comic strip, and a series of video games. ACME is the agency that chases Carmen, who works for the VILE agency; ACME would jump at the chance to have such an elusive agent (I think).