Just wanna sleep for a little while...

[blackish_silver]

So... yes.

I'm expecting a few friends soon, so don't be surprised if a few new people walk in. Because there's already so many of you that visit. Right.

Right!

I'm not really sure what the hell this is, but I kind of like it enough to post the first version. Expect beta!version in a few days; I'll probably tack it on the end of this post. I

Comments

[madhatterpan]

It's okay, New York, I love you! D:

Also, love it! Archimedes gradually becoming aware of himself as well as how New York itself was sentient. (...This makes the graphic novel that much sadder. Poor NY.) And the part about how his love shifts.

...This totally reminds me of the time that I read HAL 9000 and Dave fanfic. HAL cried electronic tears. It was creepy. This was...sort of endearing, in a bizarre way. (HE IS GIVING RORSCHACH SEATBELT HUGS.)

[blackish_silver]

Becky? I'm assuming that's you.

Thanks so much! I was worried the whole thing was a little abrupt, and there isn't really an ending...

I tried to make New York like Kitty Genovese, a beautiful a bitter young woman. She doesn't like Rorschach because the only information Archimedes has on him is in police reports. ...That doesn't come across yet, but it will!

The seatbelt hugs were my favorite.

[madhatterpan]

Yes. It is I!

It is a dramatic sort of cliffhanger ending...in that Rorschach and Nite Owl have to deal with a sentient aircraft. ONE WITH FEELINGS <3

And the Kitty Genovese bit just makes it that much cooler. (Moore would be proud. Maybe.)

[em_windsor]

This made me smile and d'aww. You give him a good voice, one that's not stereotypically machine-like. The way you build up to Archimedes' fascination with Rorschach is quite lovely too - he's got a sense of scientific curiosity about him.

Also it is nifty how you parallel Archimedes' relationship with NY with how Rorschach monologues about the city, but she didn't quite feel like a fully fleshed out character quite yet. I can see the bitterness, but it still felt a bit more like Archimedes was pushing a characterization onto her . . . or maybe I just saw the Spirit and the overwhelmingly bad city!monologue got to me.

Still, <3 and more please.

[blackish_silver]

Hey :]

Yeah, New York isn't really a person yet... have to work on that. Always appreciate an outside view (aka someone who isn't me or the Commentator or my mom).

Not that I would ever show this to my mom 8|

[em_windsor]

Lo there~

She's got a good foundation, she just needs a line or two of her own. I didn't mean to come in being all "RAWR MUST CRITICIZE" because what you have is great and adorable (in the weird way that anything associated with Watchmen can be adorable)

And you'd be surprised at what mothers accept sometimes.

[blackish_silver]

I can't really picture you as the Angry Critic... Sides, extra eyes are always a plus :3

And don't get me wrong, I love my mom and talk to her about everything...except this.