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[blacksilentears]

Last night I had another crying fest in my mom's bed. I'm always the worst at night time. During the day I feel alright but I think when the evening rolls around I realize how much I've eaten and that voice starts telling me that I'm a failure. It sucks because now that I'm eating normally and my eating habits are generally stabilized that means I

Comments

[perfection007]

hey hun. I was wondering this. I know that distortion goes along with this disorder, like image wise. i am like you, one minute i look at myself and i see this huge person and the next time i look and i am feeling good i look ok. Its a battle with ourselves. I was wondering if you have time on your hands maybe you can get a personal trainer. I know the last thing to think about. but the personal trainer could help because you could be realizing what to do in order to be "healthy and fit" if i had the money i would do it. i realize that your the one to make the changes, but you might have to do something else. the therapist will listen to you and help a bit but its the "mind frame," things like this take time too. i am not saying this is going to help you with the disorder but yoga will help to center your mind and body. Even if its silly take the time out to just be, it might make you feel better for a short time. i sometimes get depressed where i want to scream, cry, and its like torture almost, but i have been just centering myself

[perfection007]

question: besides the akward frame of mind that we have on here, i was wondering why do you hate yourself? I was wondering if this is just the disorder you refer to or other aspects of your life. I dont want to intrude or sound mean if you take this in anyway like that, its just i find that I dislike myself because of my body but also areas of my life too. I was wondering if this was the same with you. You might also find that there are other factors/layers that are beneath you that you find have contributed to your disorder, if you cant solve and reconcilate with those issues, it would be hard to even get to solve this ed. For me right now i just dont want to deal with my issues, if i did i wouldnt have the support, i wouldnt have security, i wouldnt have anyone to catch me if i fell so to speak. Depending upon who you have supporting you and such maybe this is a good time to break through the barriers. I know your going to feel like crap doing this but try it it just might open the doors to helping deal with the ed depending if