you know me. you would think i am one of the more outgoing people, the more jovial, sociable ones. this i know. but i want to be honest, im dying inside. im dying for contact, real contact, real feelings. Sometimes the desire for that is so...intense that i ache, right at the chest. i feel that i've been lying to myself for the past 10 years. i've been smiling for 10 years only to find that i've betrayed myself.and its killing me inside.
im losing myself everyday. but the more i dont know who i am, the better i am at concealing it to others. i laugh excessively when im extremely upset. i am doing that a lot lately. im trying to get over something, but my heart doesnt want me to.
You know, I feel really pathetic saying this, but my life basically revolves around my boyfriend. If he were to stop loving me, I think my world would end. I know it's a very short sighted kind of thing, but right now, I need him. I really like him, and I don't think he likes me as much.
idk why I let myself get into a relationship.
p.s. it doesn't really matter, but he loved you once. You're awesomer than me hahahha gurl you fine.
if he knows that you like him more and can't do without him, which is usually very obvious, you lose out. Which, I'am sure, you're aware of. Let love blind you..... who knows, it might be a happy ending after all! :) omg I sound like a counsellor
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idk why I let myself get into a relationship.
p.s. it doesn't really matter, but he loved you once. You're awesomer than me hahahha gurl you fine.
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