My composition is changing. I think.
I'm not a biologist, nor a chemist. So, when talk of hormones and such begins, I bring nothing to the conversation at all. As such, I'm not really sure what's been affecting my mind so much lately (it might be the heat), but whatever it is, it's making my life slightly more complicated.
The word hormone begins with the character 'h'. Coincidentally, the way I feel right now also begins with the character 'h'. I find my thoughts turning to certain things and people more often than they used to, or perhaps should. My dreams at night are colored and sometimes dominated by these same thoughts and themes, and I've been a lot less disciplined when talking to other people. Hell, I'm hitting on people. Or trying to and failing miserably. At least, I think I am. I've never done this before. I wouldn't know.
I can almost hear a few of you out there saying "Aww, isn't it cute? Derek's finally growing up." All I can say to that is, well, screw you, hippie. All joking aside, I think I'm starting to go insane. I mean, for real insane. I'm not kidding. There are some bio majors out there, right? Is this some kind of physical hormonal guy thing? Because that coupled with the general ickyness of not having anyone to cuddle and really being aware of it (sorry, I'll try to keep THAT particular whining to a bare minimum), it's really starting to doi a number on my psyche.
The good part is, otherwise, I'm doing a-ok. Work goes, I'm very comfortable with where I'm at, I'm very excited for the coming school year. All these things and more prove, beyond a doubt, that life is peachy. I take comfort in that, at least, and things don't seem as bad. Besides, ADD will kick in in a little while, and everything will be hunky-dory once again. Woo!
So, in another bid to take up some form of martial art, I'm learning nunchaku. Realizing full well that I could really hurt myself if I'm not careful, I've taken the following steps: 1) I have practice chucks. They are PVC covered with a half-inch of foam, and yes, I have smacked myself several times with them. They don't hurt much, but there is the sting of being slapped, so that part of learning is covered; 2) I'm not taking this seriouly in a "I'm going to learn to use these to kick someone's ass" sort of way. I'm taking it seriously in a "In learning to use these properly, I'll build some stamina and muscle, and I might be able to do some cool-looking demonstrations at some point if I keep at it" way. This is really to give me a reason to exercise that will appeal to my ego and override my constant mental directive, Stay Inside And Play Video Games; 3) Slow. I am slow and calculated. I'm taking my time to learn how these things move and react. I'm being as careful as possible. Trust me!
The word hormone begins with the character 'h'. Coincidentally, the way I feel right now also begins with the character 'h'. I find my thoughts turning to certain things and people more often than they used to, or perhaps should. My dreams at night are colored and sometimes dominated by these same thoughts and themes, and I've been a lot less disciplined when talking to other people. Hell, I'm hitting on people. Or trying to and failing miserably. At least, I think I am. I've never done this before. I wouldn't know.
I can almost hear a few of you out there saying "Aww, isn't it cute? Derek's finally growing up." All I can say to that is, well, screw you, hippie. All joking aside, I think I'm starting to go insane. I mean, for real insane. I'm not kidding. There are some bio majors out there, right? Is this some kind of physical hormonal guy thing? Because that coupled with the general ickyness of not having anyone to cuddle and really being aware of it (sorry, I'll try to keep THAT particular whining to a bare minimum), it's really starting to doi a number on my psyche.
The good part is, otherwise, I'm doing a-ok. Work goes, I'm very comfortable with where I'm at, I'm very excited for the coming school year. All these things and more prove, beyond a doubt, that life is peachy. I take comfort in that, at least, and things don't seem as bad. Besides, ADD will kick in in a little while, and everything will be hunky-dory once again. Woo!
So, in another bid to take up some form of martial art, I'm learning nunchaku. Realizing full well that I could really hurt myself if I'm not careful, I've taken the following steps: 1) I have practice chucks. They are PVC covered with a half-inch of foam, and yes, I have smacked myself several times with them. They don't hurt much, but there is the sting of being slapped, so that part of learning is covered; 2) I'm not taking this seriouly in a "I'm going to learn to use these to kick someone's ass" sort of way. I'm taking it seriously in a "In learning to use these properly, I'll build some stamina and muscle, and I might be able to do some cool-looking demonstrations at some point if I keep at it" way. This is really to give me a reason to exercise that will appeal to my ego and override my constant mental directive, Stay Inside And Play Video Games; 3) Slow. I am slow and calculated. I'm taking my time to learn how these things move and react. I'm being as careful as possible. Trust me!