Pro Wrestling eKlipse in Zephyrhills, April 3rd, 2009
Devin Dalton will also wrestle at the Believe show today. I know that no one believes I won’t be there until they see that I’m not in attendance; still, I should’ve pitched a great idea to the people in charge there.
Announce originally that the show was for Devin as he was returning to wrestle in the Orlando area for the first time in many months. Out of nowhere, though, concoct a storyline where out of nowhere the Florida Indies board and-say-the Florida Wrestling Fans board decide to settle their feud by designating various wrestlers for the job and each side has 4 wrestlers and they fight over… oh what would be good… oh yeah, “The Team Hamma Fist Championship”, which is in actuality a replica belt they bought that they taped over a few words in order to make it their own title; hey, it’s better than “The David PiggyTuthill dinner plate”. Anyway, devise storylines over inconsequential details, such as one match having the wrestlers feuding over one of them liking Gears of War 2 and the other wrestler preferring the videogame 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. Make sure to have extremely selfish people be the real center of attention (meaning the administrator or administrators of each messageboard) rather than any of the wrestlers involved with the show itself. Oh yeah, and throw out libelous statements towards anyone and everyone who questions the mindbendingly awful build to this event… make sure to include such ridiculous threats as threatening to call the FBI on someone due to you believing that that someone is making threatening statements to you when YOU were the one threatening that someone by saying that you’d show up at their house and do harm to their children.
Oh wait there’s more… have the guy who allowed the show to be promoted by Devin personally act all offended that the selfish people behind the show are ruining your promotion’s name but in actuality make it part of the storyline when there was NO NEED for you to be acting this way too.
Add all that together and make most of the people who showed up for the event (no more than 73 people; remember now, your advertising and build for the show turned off far more people and made them boycott the show rather than attract people there) have serious regrets about being there as they all think that the show is going to be a colossal trainwreck that will embarrass Florida wrestling. However, SWERVE everyone by making it a normal show where NONE of the advertised stuff for the event-such as the videogame battle-actually happens, thus making all the advertising for it a waste of most people’s time and making those people want drink Drain-O due to the realization that they got over how they thought all that crap was going to happen at the event… and don’t forget, have the show itself be a low-grade and low-quality event where it comes off as barely being better than backyard in presentation and booking, with stuff like random DQ’s and people running in and interfering for no reason and do illogical stuff like having a famous indy manager drive down to Orlando all the way from Georgia to manage a wrestler in a 3 minute match and do nothing at all while they’re out there. That plus a heatless crowd that does not care for most of the event and despite everyone saying that it was “one of the best shows of the year” just because they *finally* made it about Devin Dalton and saluted him only at the very end of the festivities, you have on your hands a horrible shindig that *does* end up embarrassing Florida wrestling.
Come to think of it, that’s a horrible idea for a show. Who’d be dumb enough to try and attempt that… oh wait…
(Written before the show)
People may be surprised to read that I attended this event. It’s not mainly because of the fact that Joey Machete and Chris Gray made their debut as The International Assassins. It’s not that Leon Scott (my buddy; funny thing is, I used to chat with him before, in person and even online once or twice, and had no problems there; as far as I can see he started his problem with me just because of what I said about his pal Jared David St. Laurent) is making his debut there, or anything other reason except that Devin Dalton is wrestling there, and I’ll get to see him compete for the first time since the First Class Pro Wrestling show in Bushnell back in September of ‘07* as he’s on leave from the military for a few weeks, but soon he’ll have to go back overseas to finish his tour and continue to serve his country (if not ungrateful slobs like David Tuthill) proudly.
• That fed is defunct now. The wrestling wasn’t all that great, but the atmosphere was. I mean, “redneck noisemakers” that were made by sticking coins or BB gun pellets in an plastic soda or water bottle and shake it around… that’s pretty ingenious, and I’m being sincere there. Also, you have to laugh at my joke of how Robdog should never take a libido enhancer! Oh, and the place is actually called “Jimmy’s Country Place”. Don’t ask me why I wrote down “Jimmy’s Country Shack.” Apparently alcohol abuse started showing its signs back then rather than it starting just last month!
I gave an idea above for how the tonight’s show with Believe could have been set up, but hopefully the way that they use him there is far better than how he was used in the YaPro Cup. Then again, I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t be ripping on WG’s messageboard this time around. I’ll explain why later.
The drive there to Zephyrhills was actually different than the first time I went there back in January. I was looking at Google Maps and saw some very obscure roads near where I live that seemed to cut down on the trip by a few miles. I was just hoping that none of them were dirt roads or gravel roads. So of course, the last road before I got on a main highway was both a dirt and a gravel road! Not the best idea to drive on that road in a compact sedan; a vehicle with 4WD would’ve been more prudent instead. If I would’ve gotten a flat tire or otherwise broken down on that road, I’d be up shit’s creek, as I was driving in the middle of nowhere and I had a feeling that cell phone reception was going to be nil, and I only saw one car on that road (a Jeep, of course; I’m sure they thought “What the hell?” when they saw me there driving in my car); I was so happy to get on that main road.
I made it to the building and sorry, but I still don’t like it at all. It’s too cramped in there, it seems like a dump, and the chairs are dirty and seem like they were from the 1950’s.
The show started at 8:20 instead of 8; then again, most of the local yokels didn’t show up until after the scheduled start time anyway.
1. Devin Dalton defeated Jasin Sane. This was an entertaining opener. I unfortunately don’t remember too much about it, due to reasons I’ll get to in a moment. Dalton was the heel here and he won his debut in the fed last week, beating Jerome Hendrix. It was a back and forth contest, and what sticks out is that out of the 60 or so in attendance, the loudest (by far) people happened to be sitting in front of me (but of course), and Devin jaw-jacked with them for much of the contest. They were the people that I sat by the first time I was at an eKlipse show, and I griped about them getting into the faces of the heels and acting like ignorant rubes. Well, it continued here. Devin ended up winning by chicanery. For being away from wrestling for so many months, Dalton was good here.
During this match, someone in the back-just behind the curtain-kept on lipping off to the fattest-and loudest-member of the group that sat in front of me. It wasn’t even funny comments, either… he just repeated what Fat Guy said but in a whiny voice. Just genius. I figured it was some quasi-backyarder backstage who shouldn’t even be a pro wrestler in the first place. You know, a real unprofessional asshole. Well, later on I figured out who it was, and I was in SHOCK that he’d act like a backyarder and be such an unprofessional asshole. You’ll see who it is later; it’s a name all of you will know.
2. Dagon Lee defeated Ron Cage. Speaking of backyarder… Ron came out, and I have zero clue if he’s even a face or a heel. He got on the mic and rambled on and on; to cut to the chase, he referenced departed eKlipse person George Martel repeatedly (to make it look like a SHOOT or something) and stated that he won’t be going by his old name of Ron Randle either, but instead he’ll be a “cage fighter” and thus, Ron Cage. Awesome (rolls eyes). Dagon Lee is a 400 pounder with a bad body shape, and I don’t know if he’s a face or heel either. What the match was… a worked MMA fight! No kidding. Oh my God it was *horrible*. It went on forever and ever, and neither guy seemed to know jack shit about mixed martial arts! Lee was sucking so much wind, I thought that I was going to faint due to lack of oxygen! The ending was Cage locking on a hold, but his shoulders were down, so he was inadvertently pinned; that may have been a legit screw-up for all I know. Not that it matters. The American Gangstas (don’t ask me if they’re heels or faces) came out to watch Ron for whatever reason.
By the way, I don’t know why there were less people here than at the first eKlipse show I was at, unless Spring Break had anything to do with it. I was told that there were usually more kids there than there was here on this night. Sad to say, and I wasn’t sure about it right away, but once they put on their wigs… yep, Afro Squad members in attendance! They were their usual attention-seeking wrestling-crapping selves. Why me? Why couldn’t have they di… oh wait, let me rephrase… why couldn’t they have gotten flat tires while on their way to Zephyrhills?
3. Shooter Storm defeated Luis Matos. The crowd loved to rip on Shooter Storm due to him being short; they yelled “Hornswoggle!” at him, and he did a good job of egging them on. It was nice that the audience actually woke up at points instead of sitting there like bumps on logs (or like toadies at a Believe show) making no noise at all. It was an entertaining bout with some interesting moves. Storm won the match via more chicanery, which got the expected reaction from the audience.
4. Aaron Epic defeated Jerrelle Clark, Nooie Lee, and Bobby Fonta in a 4 way Scramble. Yep, original name, Scramble. Try and follow me here… it was a qualifying match for a bit Scramble that they’ll have at a later time for the Hybrid Championship. Yep, a bunch of Scrambles leading up to a Scramble. To make this short, it was “Lucha rules”, meaning that if you left the ring, someone from the apron could jump in. Hopefully I’m not overrating it or anything, but I thought it was a very good contest. Really, at an eKlipse show! It was all action with no let-up. There were big moves but you didn’t have guys kicking out of them like they were Misawa or Kobashi in All Japan circa 1999 or anything. You had comedy from Epic, such as him lipping off and dancing around. It was just a blast to watch. Of course, all four guys here were faces, but given that I enjoyed the match so much, I guess I shouldn’t complain.
5. American Gangstas and Dirk Manning-Anthony Devlin (the eKlipse tag champions) never started as The International Assassins came out and attacked both teams. The Gangstas came out first; then, Dirk came out solo for whatever reason. Suddenly, the debuting International Assassins, with their manager The Illustrious One, made their pro wrestling debut. The Assassins are The Sheik and British Lion Christopher Gray. The Illustrious One was formerly in IPW, for what I hear, and he looks an awful lot like… but I don’t want to spread rumors about who it is, you know. Anyway, Sheik destroyed the mulleted wrestler with a chair shot and then they laid waste to the Gangstas. Of course, the crowd was PISSED, especially the trailer-park dwellers sitting in front of me. They started cussing like they were on The Howard Stern Show, and Gray returned the favor with potty-mouth language; remember now, there were still a decent amount of kids there, so sigh… anyway, the entire eKlipse locker room came out and forced the Assassins and their manager from the building, as Epic made a triumphant speech about how they won’t let those outsiders ruin things. It was a very successful angle, but…
We hear some loud-mouth ASSHOLE bellowing about how Fat Guy is a loser and how eKlipse got punked out by 2 guys, and whatever, and I had to turn and look who it was. It was… PRINCE IAUKEA! Yes, the WCW wrestler from the late 90’s… the boring wrestler who quite frankly made me (and probably many others) change the channel whenever he was on TV. He then started mouthing off to The Afro Squad! You’d think I’d enjoy that, but no! The way he was acting, I was wondering if he was on drugs and/or drunk, and he totally embarrassed himself and Pro Wrestling Fusion with his actions. Apparently, he’s often at eKlipse shows and from what I hear, he always acts like a dickhead to everyone, again doing just a great job of representing Pro Wrestling Fusion in public. As long as he’s around, I don’t exactly have much incentive to go back to eKlipse anytime soon and having to be around such a bitter old veteran; although, as least I have a good idea now why he only wrestles for Fusion and no one else. It doesn’t give me much incentive to see Pro Wrestling Fusion shows anytime soon either, for that matter.
Oh, and Prince was the guy who was ripping on Fat Guy in the first match from behind the curtain. Real professional there, peckerhead!
Intermission time. It was announced as being 5 minutes long, but in actuality it was closer to 25 than 5. Yep, you’ll get to find out just why the focus shouldn’t be on the Florida Indies board for doing stupid stuff this week when aside from the substance abuse-riddled ramblings from ATM and Nathan Warren (I’m sure their parents are oh so proud that their spawn as such perpetual bungling screw-ups; by the way, thank you to the individual who banned Nathan Warren from Florida Indies, even though all of the admins on that board are people that I loathe. He deserved to be banned long ago for his trolling ways.) it’s been rather nondescript there. However, the other two main boards…
A few days ago, in a thread (which I won’t link to) on the Florida Wrestling Fans board a thread was started about ROH’s TV deal. ATM’s name was brought up in a derisive manner as on WG’s board he posted a trolling comment about the new HDNet show. I decided to jump in and explain to the starter of the thread the obvious fact that ATM’s mind has been destroyed due to years of substance abuse so you should ignore those ramblings. Lew Spectre then commented “Who gives a fuck about ATM or the other board?” and then asked me what I thought of the show. I read that and wasn’t able to reply right away, as I was busy with stuff this week. For the record, I haven’t seen the TV show yet, but the reasons why are far too lengthy to get into here. That’ll be in a later thing I write. Anyway, Wednesday night I find that thread and I am finally able to respond to it and lo and behold, my post and Lew’s post are now not there! That’s right, someone *deleted* them.
Remember recently how people bitched and bitched and then bitched some more about how on Florida Indies, there was a thread that was briefly deleted due to political reasons but it was in error so it was put back up? Remember how people pissed and moaned about that censorship? Well, what the hell do you call what happened here but the same kind of censorship?! Poppycock!
Then, on the Forever Indy board, where there also you had bitching about the Florida Indies censorship, you have a thread (which I won’t link to either) where one of the mods says, “One thing that I will not allow is brining up a persons private life and publicizing it on this board. If this pursists, I will ban you myself for life.” Again, the same kind of censorship that everyone claimed to be against.
Thursday, I was seriously thinking of announcing at both boards that I was tired of it all and I would just delete my account there or just never post there again. Then, I calmed down… a little. I know for certain that if this kind of stuff continues, I won’t be for long there and I’ll wonder why I wasted so much time being involved or being a reader of either board. I mean, one place you have a “no personal discussion” decree when one of the mods started talking about his personal life first, and the other board is filled with brutally unfunny in-jokes and the main mod apparently possessing a small penis in the fact that aside from that post deletion stuff (who knows how often that goes on there) you then have him getting attention for himself by doing pointless garbage such as proclaiming that he’ll ban Francisco Ciatso if he doesn’t return his calls or whatever drivel that was, not to mention him crapping on Jon Davis in that one praise thread up there now by saying that it was all the opponents of Jon that are making him look so good and that Jon actually isn’t that good. What wise words from a failed pro wrestler. And you wonder why I am seriously thinking about not posting at any of the Florida indy messageboards any longer? I mean, when you’re starting to think that maybe Dany Only is right in what he’s saying… I don’t mean that as a slam against Mr. Only, a guy who did or does work-shoot stuff with MSL, but I never thought I’d have to say that.
But, I’ll get the duck out of fodge with this diatribe, and I’ll continue on with the show review.
6. Simon Sez defeated Super Grover. Yep, the manager Simon Sez. I hadn’t seen him wrestle before, but now I wish I’d have that opportunity more often. He was quite entertaining. I’ll say that this was a good match. Like Simon, Super Grover is also from the FXE school. Early on, Grover’s shirt was taken off, and you could see why he wrestled with a shirt. Well, he experienced some LOUD chops from Simon, reddening both his chest and his back. But, it was a competitive match, and the trailer park people in front of me just loathed Simon. Anyway, he won with what I’ll call a LARIATO!
Note that before and after the match, Simon got to show off his superior mic skills. He’s as sharp as a tack (like how Chris Nelson and Vito DeNucci is) and he certainly had easy targets to rip on in the crowd, especially Fat Guy. Boy did he just tear him apart. I don’t remember most of it, but it was great. He said “Boy, it looks like you were poured into that shirt and no one told them when to stop!”, among other bon mots. It was great. He also continued his feud with Michael O’Toole, who he beat in a very bloody match there a few weeks ago.
Hmmm, it looks like Forever Indy is down. It is temporary or permanent?
7. Michael O’Toole defeated Josh Raynes. Raynes is the emo lackey that was with Alex Decay and Jude McKenzie. Note that some eKlipse guys were at the Christian Wrestling Federation show at Dockside near the Gulf of Mexico. So, I have no idea yet if we’ll have a consistent show from week to week here. I’ll have to watch future results to try and figure that out. I mean, the commish of this fed, Car… oops, I mean James Caldwell, wasn’t here either, and Christ if I know if he’s a part of this promotion’s future or not. As for this match, it was a squash affair. He got his ass whupped, which delighted the rednecks, as they continued their cussing ways, berating Josh in a vulgar way. Sigh… this was fine for what it was.
Afterwards, Michael brought out a woman who was… Simon Sez’s wife! Or at least, someone who apparently was his wife. Why he (or the promotion) had to go there, I don’t know. So, Simon dragged out by her hair Scarlett Valentine, a sometimes wrestler for this promotion who allegedly is related to Michael! Classy. Michael and Simon brawled with each other before the locker room broke it up.
8. Da Biff defeated Eric Cooper to retain the eKlipse Heavyweight Title. The crowd disliked Cooper and they liked Biff’s TNT entrance music. He had the advantage early on with his marked sized advantage. But, he accidentally went into the ring post and then Cooper rammed his back into the ring post. Cooper wore him down with some submission moves, but Biff came back and he won the match after a big suplex.
Afterwards, Biff was attacked by… Leon Scott! He laid out Biff; of course, he wasn’t identified and he didn’t get on the mic to ID himself or anything.
Overall, this show, which was about 2 hours and 10 minutes long, was certainly better as a stand-alone show than the other eKlipse show I saw back in January. However, it remains to be seen whether they can actually do what seems to be impossible for them, which is have a consistent show with a consistent roster from week to week and have face vs. heels matches only. Due to the demerits I listed already, I don’t know if I will be out there that often in the future, but at least if I did go in the future I wouldn’t be as apprehensive about it if their shows are like they were here and they were consistent with stuff.
The next thing I plan on writing is my review of next Saturday’s WXW show in Leesburg, so hopefully that’ll be up by Sunday night the 12th. I’m pretty sure that’ll be far less controversial than this review!
Announce originally that the show was for Devin as he was returning to wrestle in the Orlando area for the first time in many months. Out of nowhere, though, concoct a storyline where out of nowhere the Florida Indies board and-say-the Florida Wrestling Fans board decide to settle their feud by designating various wrestlers for the job and each side has 4 wrestlers and they fight over… oh what would be good… oh yeah, “The Team Hamma Fist Championship”, which is in actuality a replica belt they bought that they taped over a few words in order to make it their own title; hey, it’s better than “The David PiggyTuthill dinner plate”. Anyway, devise storylines over inconsequential details, such as one match having the wrestlers feuding over one of them liking Gears of War 2 and the other wrestler preferring the videogame 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. Make sure to have extremely selfish people be the real center of attention (meaning the administrator or administrators of each messageboard) rather than any of the wrestlers involved with the show itself. Oh yeah, and throw out libelous statements towards anyone and everyone who questions the mindbendingly awful build to this event… make sure to include such ridiculous threats as threatening to call the FBI on someone due to you believing that that someone is making threatening statements to you when YOU were the one threatening that someone by saying that you’d show up at their house and do harm to their children.
Oh wait there’s more… have the guy who allowed the show to be promoted by Devin personally act all offended that the selfish people behind the show are ruining your promotion’s name but in actuality make it part of the storyline when there was NO NEED for you to be acting this way too.
Add all that together and make most of the people who showed up for the event (no more than 73 people; remember now, your advertising and build for the show turned off far more people and made them boycott the show rather than attract people there) have serious regrets about being there as they all think that the show is going to be a colossal trainwreck that will embarrass Florida wrestling. However, SWERVE everyone by making it a normal show where NONE of the advertised stuff for the event-such as the videogame battle-actually happens, thus making all the advertising for it a waste of most people’s time and making those people want drink Drain-O due to the realization that they got over how they thought all that crap was going to happen at the event… and don’t forget, have the show itself be a low-grade and low-quality event where it comes off as barely being better than backyard in presentation and booking, with stuff like random DQ’s and people running in and interfering for no reason and do illogical stuff like having a famous indy manager drive down to Orlando all the way from Georgia to manage a wrestler in a 3 minute match and do nothing at all while they’re out there. That plus a heatless crowd that does not care for most of the event and despite everyone saying that it was “one of the best shows of the year” just because they *finally* made it about Devin Dalton and saluted him only at the very end of the festivities, you have on your hands a horrible shindig that *does* end up embarrassing Florida wrestling.
Come to think of it, that’s a horrible idea for a show. Who’d be dumb enough to try and attempt that… oh wait…
(Written before the show)
People may be surprised to read that I attended this event. It’s not mainly because of the fact that Joey Machete and Chris Gray made their debut as The International Assassins. It’s not that Leon Scott (my buddy; funny thing is, I used to chat with him before, in person and even online once or twice, and had no problems there; as far as I can see he started his problem with me just because of what I said about his pal Jared David St. Laurent) is making his debut there, or anything other reason except that Devin Dalton is wrestling there, and I’ll get to see him compete for the first time since the First Class Pro Wrestling show in Bushnell back in September of ‘07* as he’s on leave from the military for a few weeks, but soon he’ll have to go back overseas to finish his tour and continue to serve his country (if not ungrateful slobs like David Tuthill) proudly.
• That fed is defunct now. The wrestling wasn’t all that great, but the atmosphere was. I mean, “redneck noisemakers” that were made by sticking coins or BB gun pellets in an plastic soda or water bottle and shake it around… that’s pretty ingenious, and I’m being sincere there. Also, you have to laugh at my joke of how Robdog should never take a libido enhancer! Oh, and the place is actually called “Jimmy’s Country Place”. Don’t ask me why I wrote down “Jimmy’s Country Shack.” Apparently alcohol abuse started showing its signs back then rather than it starting just last month!
I gave an idea above for how the tonight’s show with Believe could have been set up, but hopefully the way that they use him there is far better than how he was used in the YaPro Cup. Then again, I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t be ripping on WG’s messageboard this time around. I’ll explain why later.
The drive there to Zephyrhills was actually different than the first time I went there back in January. I was looking at Google Maps and saw some very obscure roads near where I live that seemed to cut down on the trip by a few miles. I was just hoping that none of them were dirt roads or gravel roads. So of course, the last road before I got on a main highway was both a dirt and a gravel road! Not the best idea to drive on that road in a compact sedan; a vehicle with 4WD would’ve been more prudent instead. If I would’ve gotten a flat tire or otherwise broken down on that road, I’d be up shit’s creek, as I was driving in the middle of nowhere and I had a feeling that cell phone reception was going to be nil, and I only saw one car on that road (a Jeep, of course; I’m sure they thought “What the hell?” when they saw me there driving in my car); I was so happy to get on that main road.
I made it to the building and sorry, but I still don’t like it at all. It’s too cramped in there, it seems like a dump, and the chairs are dirty and seem like they were from the 1950’s.
The show started at 8:20 instead of 8; then again, most of the local yokels didn’t show up until after the scheduled start time anyway.
1. Devin Dalton defeated Jasin Sane. This was an entertaining opener. I unfortunately don’t remember too much about it, due to reasons I’ll get to in a moment. Dalton was the heel here and he won his debut in the fed last week, beating Jerome Hendrix. It was a back and forth contest, and what sticks out is that out of the 60 or so in attendance, the loudest (by far) people happened to be sitting in front of me (but of course), and Devin jaw-jacked with them for much of the contest. They were the people that I sat by the first time I was at an eKlipse show, and I griped about them getting into the faces of the heels and acting like ignorant rubes. Well, it continued here. Devin ended up winning by chicanery. For being away from wrestling for so many months, Dalton was good here.
During this match, someone in the back-just behind the curtain-kept on lipping off to the fattest-and loudest-member of the group that sat in front of me. It wasn’t even funny comments, either… he just repeated what Fat Guy said but in a whiny voice. Just genius. I figured it was some quasi-backyarder backstage who shouldn’t even be a pro wrestler in the first place. You know, a real unprofessional asshole. Well, later on I figured out who it was, and I was in SHOCK that he’d act like a backyarder and be such an unprofessional asshole. You’ll see who it is later; it’s a name all of you will know.
2. Dagon Lee defeated Ron Cage. Speaking of backyarder… Ron came out, and I have zero clue if he’s even a face or a heel. He got on the mic and rambled on and on; to cut to the chase, he referenced departed eKlipse person George Martel repeatedly (to make it look like a SHOOT or something) and stated that he won’t be going by his old name of Ron Randle either, but instead he’ll be a “cage fighter” and thus, Ron Cage. Awesome (rolls eyes). Dagon Lee is a 400 pounder with a bad body shape, and I don’t know if he’s a face or heel either. What the match was… a worked MMA fight! No kidding. Oh my God it was *horrible*. It went on forever and ever, and neither guy seemed to know jack shit about mixed martial arts! Lee was sucking so much wind, I thought that I was going to faint due to lack of oxygen! The ending was Cage locking on a hold, but his shoulders were down, so he was inadvertently pinned; that may have been a legit screw-up for all I know. Not that it matters. The American Gangstas (don’t ask me if they’re heels or faces) came out to watch Ron for whatever reason.
By the way, I don’t know why there were less people here than at the first eKlipse show I was at, unless Spring Break had anything to do with it. I was told that there were usually more kids there than there was here on this night. Sad to say, and I wasn’t sure about it right away, but once they put on their wigs… yep, Afro Squad members in attendance! They were their usual attention-seeking wrestling-crapping selves. Why me? Why couldn’t have they di… oh wait, let me rephrase… why couldn’t they have gotten flat tires while on their way to Zephyrhills?
3. Shooter Storm defeated Luis Matos. The crowd loved to rip on Shooter Storm due to him being short; they yelled “Hornswoggle!” at him, and he did a good job of egging them on. It was nice that the audience actually woke up at points instead of sitting there like bumps on logs (or like toadies at a Believe show) making no noise at all. It was an entertaining bout with some interesting moves. Storm won the match via more chicanery, which got the expected reaction from the audience.
4. Aaron Epic defeated Jerrelle Clark, Nooie Lee, and Bobby Fonta in a 4 way Scramble. Yep, original name, Scramble. Try and follow me here… it was a qualifying match for a bit Scramble that they’ll have at a later time for the Hybrid Championship. Yep, a bunch of Scrambles leading up to a Scramble. To make this short, it was “Lucha rules”, meaning that if you left the ring, someone from the apron could jump in. Hopefully I’m not overrating it or anything, but I thought it was a very good contest. Really, at an eKlipse show! It was all action with no let-up. There were big moves but you didn’t have guys kicking out of them like they were Misawa or Kobashi in All Japan circa 1999 or anything. You had comedy from Epic, such as him lipping off and dancing around. It was just a blast to watch. Of course, all four guys here were faces, but given that I enjoyed the match so much, I guess I shouldn’t complain.
5. American Gangstas and Dirk Manning-Anthony Devlin (the eKlipse tag champions) never started as The International Assassins came out and attacked both teams. The Gangstas came out first; then, Dirk came out solo for whatever reason. Suddenly, the debuting International Assassins, with their manager The Illustrious One, made their pro wrestling debut. The Assassins are The Sheik and British Lion Christopher Gray. The Illustrious One was formerly in IPW, for what I hear, and he looks an awful lot like… but I don’t want to spread rumors about who it is, you know. Anyway, Sheik destroyed the mulleted wrestler with a chair shot and then they laid waste to the Gangstas. Of course, the crowd was PISSED, especially the trailer-park dwellers sitting in front of me. They started cussing like they were on The Howard Stern Show, and Gray returned the favor with potty-mouth language; remember now, there were still a decent amount of kids there, so sigh… anyway, the entire eKlipse locker room came out and forced the Assassins and their manager from the building, as Epic made a triumphant speech about how they won’t let those outsiders ruin things. It was a very successful angle, but…
We hear some loud-mouth ASSHOLE bellowing about how Fat Guy is a loser and how eKlipse got punked out by 2 guys, and whatever, and I had to turn and look who it was. It was… PRINCE IAUKEA! Yes, the WCW wrestler from the late 90’s… the boring wrestler who quite frankly made me (and probably many others) change the channel whenever he was on TV. He then started mouthing off to The Afro Squad! You’d think I’d enjoy that, but no! The way he was acting, I was wondering if he was on drugs and/or drunk, and he totally embarrassed himself and Pro Wrestling Fusion with his actions. Apparently, he’s often at eKlipse shows and from what I hear, he always acts like a dickhead to everyone, again doing just a great job of representing Pro Wrestling Fusion in public. As long as he’s around, I don’t exactly have much incentive to go back to eKlipse anytime soon and having to be around such a bitter old veteran; although, as least I have a good idea now why he only wrestles for Fusion and no one else. It doesn’t give me much incentive to see Pro Wrestling Fusion shows anytime soon either, for that matter.
Oh, and Prince was the guy who was ripping on Fat Guy in the first match from behind the curtain. Real professional there, peckerhead!
Intermission time. It was announced as being 5 minutes long, but in actuality it was closer to 25 than 5. Yep, you’ll get to find out just why the focus shouldn’t be on the Florida Indies board for doing stupid stuff this week when aside from the substance abuse-riddled ramblings from ATM and Nathan Warren (I’m sure their parents are oh so proud that their spawn as such perpetual bungling screw-ups; by the way, thank you to the individual who banned Nathan Warren from Florida Indies, even though all of the admins on that board are people that I loathe. He deserved to be banned long ago for his trolling ways.) it’s been rather nondescript there. However, the other two main boards…
A few days ago, in a thread (which I won’t link to) on the Florida Wrestling Fans board a thread was started about ROH’s TV deal. ATM’s name was brought up in a derisive manner as on WG’s board he posted a trolling comment about the new HDNet show. I decided to jump in and explain to the starter of the thread the obvious fact that ATM’s mind has been destroyed due to years of substance abuse so you should ignore those ramblings. Lew Spectre then commented “Who gives a fuck about ATM or the other board?” and then asked me what I thought of the show. I read that and wasn’t able to reply right away, as I was busy with stuff this week. For the record, I haven’t seen the TV show yet, but the reasons why are far too lengthy to get into here. That’ll be in a later thing I write. Anyway, Wednesday night I find that thread and I am finally able to respond to it and lo and behold, my post and Lew’s post are now not there! That’s right, someone *deleted* them.
Remember recently how people bitched and bitched and then bitched some more about how on Florida Indies, there was a thread that was briefly deleted due to political reasons but it was in error so it was put back up? Remember how people pissed and moaned about that censorship? Well, what the hell do you call what happened here but the same kind of censorship?! Poppycock!
Then, on the Forever Indy board, where there also you had bitching about the Florida Indies censorship, you have a thread (which I won’t link to either) where one of the mods says, “One thing that I will not allow is brining up a persons private life and publicizing it on this board. If this pursists, I will ban you myself for life.” Again, the same kind of censorship that everyone claimed to be against.
Thursday, I was seriously thinking of announcing at both boards that I was tired of it all and I would just delete my account there or just never post there again. Then, I calmed down… a little. I know for certain that if this kind of stuff continues, I won’t be for long there and I’ll wonder why I wasted so much time being involved or being a reader of either board. I mean, one place you have a “no personal discussion” decree when one of the mods started talking about his personal life first, and the other board is filled with brutally unfunny in-jokes and the main mod apparently possessing a small penis in the fact that aside from that post deletion stuff (who knows how often that goes on there) you then have him getting attention for himself by doing pointless garbage such as proclaiming that he’ll ban Francisco Ciatso if he doesn’t return his calls or whatever drivel that was, not to mention him crapping on Jon Davis in that one praise thread up there now by saying that it was all the opponents of Jon that are making him look so good and that Jon actually isn’t that good. What wise words from a failed pro wrestler. And you wonder why I am seriously thinking about not posting at any of the Florida indy messageboards any longer? I mean, when you’re starting to think that maybe Dany Only is right in what he’s saying… I don’t mean that as a slam against Mr. Only, a guy who did or does work-shoot stuff with MSL, but I never thought I’d have to say that.
But, I’ll get the duck out of fodge with this diatribe, and I’ll continue on with the show review.
6. Simon Sez defeated Super Grover. Yep, the manager Simon Sez. I hadn’t seen him wrestle before, but now I wish I’d have that opportunity more often. He was quite entertaining. I’ll say that this was a good match. Like Simon, Super Grover is also from the FXE school. Early on, Grover’s shirt was taken off, and you could see why he wrestled with a shirt. Well, he experienced some LOUD chops from Simon, reddening both his chest and his back. But, it was a competitive match, and the trailer park people in front of me just loathed Simon. Anyway, he won with what I’ll call a LARIATO!
Note that before and after the match, Simon got to show off his superior mic skills. He’s as sharp as a tack (like how Chris Nelson and Vito DeNucci is) and he certainly had easy targets to rip on in the crowd, especially Fat Guy. Boy did he just tear him apart. I don’t remember most of it, but it was great. He said “Boy, it looks like you were poured into that shirt and no one told them when to stop!”, among other bon mots. It was great. He also continued his feud with Michael O’Toole, who he beat in a very bloody match there a few weeks ago.
Hmmm, it looks like Forever Indy is down. It is temporary or permanent?
7. Michael O’Toole defeated Josh Raynes. Raynes is the emo lackey that was with Alex Decay and Jude McKenzie. Note that some eKlipse guys were at the Christian Wrestling Federation show at Dockside near the Gulf of Mexico. So, I have no idea yet if we’ll have a consistent show from week to week here. I’ll have to watch future results to try and figure that out. I mean, the commish of this fed, Car… oops, I mean James Caldwell, wasn’t here either, and Christ if I know if he’s a part of this promotion’s future or not. As for this match, it was a squash affair. He got his ass whupped, which delighted the rednecks, as they continued their cussing ways, berating Josh in a vulgar way. Sigh… this was fine for what it was.
Afterwards, Michael brought out a woman who was… Simon Sez’s wife! Or at least, someone who apparently was his wife. Why he (or the promotion) had to go there, I don’t know. So, Simon dragged out by her hair Scarlett Valentine, a sometimes wrestler for this promotion who allegedly is related to Michael! Classy. Michael and Simon brawled with each other before the locker room broke it up.
8. Da Biff defeated Eric Cooper to retain the eKlipse Heavyweight Title. The crowd disliked Cooper and they liked Biff’s TNT entrance music. He had the advantage early on with his marked sized advantage. But, he accidentally went into the ring post and then Cooper rammed his back into the ring post. Cooper wore him down with some submission moves, but Biff came back and he won the match after a big suplex.
Afterwards, Biff was attacked by… Leon Scott! He laid out Biff; of course, he wasn’t identified and he didn’t get on the mic to ID himself or anything.
Overall, this show, which was about 2 hours and 10 minutes long, was certainly better as a stand-alone show than the other eKlipse show I saw back in January. However, it remains to be seen whether they can actually do what seems to be impossible for them, which is have a consistent show with a consistent roster from week to week and have face vs. heels matches only. Due to the demerits I listed already, I don’t know if I will be out there that often in the future, but at least if I did go in the future I wouldn’t be as apprehensive about it if their shows are like they were here and they were consistent with stuff.
The next thing I plan on writing is my review of next Saturday’s WXW show in Leesburg, so hopefully that’ll be up by Sunday night the 12th. I’m pretty sure that’ll be far less controversial than this review!