(no subject)
Whining behind the cut
I really hate my job. I hate what AT&T has become now that we are actually SBC. I hate how stupid management is - and I hate that I'm now feeling like Keannu Reeves in the movie Speed, hanging onto the underside of a bus for dear life. I have an impossible project with an impossible deadline, and I'm sick. I can't shake the end of this stupid virus/asthma thing so I'm exhausted all the time. But - I need to get the impossible project done tomorrow, so I have to go in anyway. GOD FORBID they listen to my pleas for more resources months ago - no. Must wait until the last minute and then blame me.
THEN - the stupid toe. I don't know what I've done to the thing, but now I can't even touch it, and it hurts to put on a shoe. So I have to go to Dr tomorrow, in spite of stupid project, because I'd like to keep my toe, thank you. I know he's going to make it worse before it gets better - which means I probably can't go to Ceilidh, which I've been looking forward to since AUGUST!!!!! Piss me off. I was hoping to offer Meirwen a ride, since she posted yesterday that she wanted to go but had no car. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll be able to fix it and I can go - but not with the way my life has gone lately.
I feel like my body and I are at war lately. Every time I start in a healthy direction, I get slammed with something. Just before I got this nasty virus, I started Zumba, which is a blast. I was feeling great. Now I feel like I can't get off the couch. I had been taking the stairs at the garage downtown - all four stories. I had reached the point where I could take the entire thing without stopping - a big deal right now - and then, bam. Asthma nastiness combined with cold air and I can barely make it up one flight.
With all the stupid health stuff, I haven't been as focused on my class as I need to be, which means I'm behind and I NEED to pass this exam!!!!! I want to get OUT of stupid job and be a real, paid, computer geek. I WILL get my CCNA cert. I WILL do well in this class.
Of course, WotLK has to come out right now - and I have a new Death Knight, but no time to play her. I did manage 2 quests last night, and then played with my priest for a bit. I needed to go to bed early, because last night, Andy left Vent running (for the non-WoW players - Vent is the voice communication software we use.) Scott and Ryan had gone out at Midnight to pick up their copies of the expansion and once they got them loaded they began to play. At 3:00 am last night I awoke to the sound of voices and was (briefly) convinced there were intruders in the house. I then figured out what it was and got up to shut down the connection. I waited until they had a break in their conversation and then said "So - I'm trying to figure out who the fuck is in my house...." and they laughed. I shut down Vent, but couldn't get back to sleep.
So - I'm really tired. So, why did I wake at 3:00 this morning? Why am I now up and typing instead of sleeping? Good question. I'm hoping that typing all the stuff that was spinning in my head will help me get back to sleep, now that it's written down somewhere.
I need to focus on the positive things. I need to find my happy place. I need to take better care of me, better care of my home, better care of my husband. I have so many blessings, I need to stay grounded in that.
I need a hug.
I really hate my job. I hate what AT&T has become now that we are actually SBC. I hate how stupid management is - and I hate that I'm now feeling like Keannu Reeves in the movie Speed, hanging onto the underside of a bus for dear life. I have an impossible project with an impossible deadline, and I'm sick. I can't shake the end of this stupid virus/asthma thing so I'm exhausted all the time. But - I need to get the impossible project done tomorrow, so I have to go in anyway. GOD FORBID they listen to my pleas for more resources months ago - no. Must wait until the last minute and then blame me.
THEN - the stupid toe. I don't know what I've done to the thing, but now I can't even touch it, and it hurts to put on a shoe. So I have to go to Dr tomorrow, in spite of stupid project, because I'd like to keep my toe, thank you. I know he's going to make it worse before it gets better - which means I probably can't go to Ceilidh, which I've been looking forward to since AUGUST!!!!! Piss me off. I was hoping to offer Meirwen a ride, since she posted yesterday that she wanted to go but had no car. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll be able to fix it and I can go - but not with the way my life has gone lately.
I feel like my body and I are at war lately. Every time I start in a healthy direction, I get slammed with something. Just before I got this nasty virus, I started Zumba, which is a blast. I was feeling great. Now I feel like I can't get off the couch. I had been taking the stairs at the garage downtown - all four stories. I had reached the point where I could take the entire thing without stopping - a big deal right now - and then, bam. Asthma nastiness combined with cold air and I can barely make it up one flight.
With all the stupid health stuff, I haven't been as focused on my class as I need to be, which means I'm behind and I NEED to pass this exam!!!!! I want to get OUT of stupid job and be a real, paid, computer geek. I WILL get my CCNA cert. I WILL do well in this class.
Of course, WotLK has to come out right now - and I have a new Death Knight, but no time to play her. I did manage 2 quests last night, and then played with my priest for a bit. I needed to go to bed early, because last night, Andy left Vent running (for the non-WoW players - Vent is the voice communication software we use.) Scott and Ryan had gone out at Midnight to pick up their copies of the expansion and once they got them loaded they began to play. At 3:00 am last night I awoke to the sound of voices and was (briefly) convinced there were intruders in the house. I then figured out what it was and got up to shut down the connection. I waited until they had a break in their conversation and then said "So - I'm trying to figure out who the fuck is in my house...." and they laughed. I shut down Vent, but couldn't get back to sleep.
So - I'm really tired. So, why did I wake at 3:00 this morning? Why am I now up and typing instead of sleeping? Good question. I'm hoping that typing all the stuff that was spinning in my head will help me get back to sleep, now that it's written down somewhere.
I need to focus on the positive things. I need to find my happy place. I need to take better care of me, better care of my home, better care of my husband. I have so many blessings, I need to stay grounded in that.
I need a hug.