In the spirit of Christmas in the middle of March
We've just bought a new computer which means I have to look through all my files to see what's worth keeping and what's not. I found a VM ficlet I wrote a while ago. I don't remember when, but judging by the content, I’m guessing around Christmas. I think it might be incomplete. It's L/V. Short. Possibly incomprehensible.
So this is Christmas. And what has she done?
Well, put a rapist behind bars for one.
Broke the heart of the boy she loved. That's something too.
And her New Years resolution? Stop being a jackass.
She blamed Logan for so long, too long, for her lack of trust, for her lack of conviction, but most of all, for her lack of commitment. She almost hoped he would screw up. It would validate her hesitation, her distance. She never thought that every mistake he made was a reflection of her faith.
She misses him and he's not even gone. Not yet anyway. But she feels it coming. There's no calm before the storm. They'd just fought. Chances are they'd fight again. The closest they were going to get to calm would be the tender tone of Logan's voice when he tells her it's over.
Perhaps it was meant to be over, perhaps it should have never began, but she's stuck in the middle now and she can't get out and she's not even sure she wants to. She's not clingy but she would gladly run into his arms at this very moment and clutch at him, digging her fingers into his shirt, pressing her face against the hollow of his neck.
She remembers the last time she'd done that. Up on the roof of the Neptune Grand after Cassidy leaped off the building. To think that with everything that has happened in the last few months she hasn't felt the need to cling on to him for dear life. She's been too scared, to get too close that is. Physically, emotionally. She crossed the most intimate line with him that summer and it still wasn't as terrifying as trusting him to hold on to her.
So this is Christmas. And what has she done?
Well, put a rapist behind bars for one.
Broke the heart of the boy she loved. That's something too.
And her New Years resolution? Stop being a jackass.
She blamed Logan for so long, too long, for her lack of trust, for her lack of conviction, but most of all, for her lack of commitment. She almost hoped he would screw up. It would validate her hesitation, her distance. She never thought that every mistake he made was a reflection of her faith.
She misses him and he's not even gone. Not yet anyway. But she feels it coming. There's no calm before the storm. They'd just fought. Chances are they'd fight again. The closest they were going to get to calm would be the tender tone of Logan's voice when he tells her it's over.
Perhaps it was meant to be over, perhaps it should have never began, but she's stuck in the middle now and she can't get out and she's not even sure she wants to. She's not clingy but she would gladly run into his arms at this very moment and clutch at him, digging her fingers into his shirt, pressing her face against the hollow of his neck.
She remembers the last time she'd done that. Up on the roof of the Neptune Grand after Cassidy leaped off the building. To think that with everything that has happened in the last few months she hasn't felt the need to cling on to him for dear life. She's been too scared, to get too close that is. Physically, emotionally. She crossed the most intimate line with him that summer and it still wasn't as terrifying as trusting him to hold on to her.