(no subject)
The election has had me giddy and shocked since Tuesday night. I still can't believe it. Faith in humanity gets a +12 bonus. Honestly though, I've felt more comfortable and relaxed on the whole just knowing that we aren't necessarily doomed than I have in a long, long time. Though it made me have panic attacks recently whenever my parents would have Fox News on, I watched some of it on election night to see their reaction, and it was PRICELESS. Six or eight conservative commentators in the guise of newsmen all at a stunned loss when they announce that the Democrats have taken the house, and by the time the senate seemed locked up in the early morning they were lamenting that "I can't believe WE lost!" Oh Brit Hume, how I love to see you squirm.
Too much school work, but all A's is some hot nuthin'. That and my teachers are once again truly bananas. My Ghanaian art teacher is incredible. He speaks almost exclusively in falcetto mockery at the lazy students, but also takes time to yell at us bombastically about how "MAN IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, AND THE MEASURE OF ALL THINGS" or about the "glory of God" whenever we're done with class and there is still time on the clock. He's a keeper!
Still waiting on Georgia State to let me know I've gotten in for next semester. Film classes and equipment, GOOD history classes, and Japanese study abroad program here I come. Eventually? Maybe? Oh my.
A few weeks ago I had something of a liberating moment when I got to hang out with Mike over at Will's place. I had seen him drunkenly a few nights before in Athens but we didn't get much of a chance to talk, and I was happy to see that my man still felt we had enough of something between us for real honesty, something I don't get often anymore with most of my friends being relegated to acquaintance status by my living in Norcross as well as general loss of common ground with those here in Norcross with me, sadly. As an aside, that is my fault entirely, but its not really an issue; a buddy is still a buddy when there isn't anything to say. Back to the point, Mike and I discussed our plans and whatnot and I was really touched to see that he cared enough about me to get real with me. "Don't you think that that kind of thing is talent based though, like inborn talent? Do you think you have that?" "I don't know if I do. I think so, as I feel comfortable with this in a way that I never did with music. I hope so, but I have nothing to lose." I was stunned; I saw it was true. I have nothing left to lose. I don't mean this in a depressing way, quite the opposite. I felt liberated to have a friend ask me what I recognise myself so often. I never lose sight of the fact that I have failed at almost everything I have ever done, and that anyone with a head on their shoulders would see the likely outcome with me as a poor, alone old man if things don't work out. I did not expect to be so touched by something so casual, but it is not often that anyone has the decency to be honest with me. It isn't usual to have someone know my past like Mike does though. He has seen me at my worst (like too many others, but this is no place for mass apologies), and I can understand his worry that I may have entered another self-delusional state like so many times before, but I felt no need to explain myself to him. I have known that this is something very different than who I used to be, but it was the first time in a very long time that anyone had been a real friend to me, and it has meant a great deal. I see the logical conclusions to my failures, but I can only live how I can and do what I have no choice in doing. I love it with all I am, but I know what it's failure means as well. Failure is not an option that I will accept though, as I have taken the lesson of my father to see what can become of us who sacrifice our gifts and ambitions for the sake of convenience, or in his case for the sake of another. In my place right now, having nothing to lose is an enviable place to be, and I feel very lucky for where life finds me.
Borat was quite an experience, Grant and I sat in a theater full of elderly couples laughing their asses off at it with us. Joyous!
I miss Grant and his puppy already. They went back up to Athens today. I can't wait till I can get an animal buddy to keep me company around here (and my dad could use one as well, as his only company around here is my mom and OOOOH MY to that.) Until then I have the Marx brothers. They're working pretty damn well!
Mass birthday/kareoke party this weekend in Athens I believe. Sounding gurrrrd. Grant, give that puppy some squishy face for me. And for yourself? KISSESSSSSSS!
Too much school work, but all A's is some hot nuthin'. That and my teachers are once again truly bananas. My Ghanaian art teacher is incredible. He speaks almost exclusively in falcetto mockery at the lazy students, but also takes time to yell at us bombastically about how "MAN IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, AND THE MEASURE OF ALL THINGS" or about the "glory of God" whenever we're done with class and there is still time on the clock. He's a keeper!
Still waiting on Georgia State to let me know I've gotten in for next semester. Film classes and equipment, GOOD history classes, and Japanese study abroad program here I come. Eventually? Maybe? Oh my.
A few weeks ago I had something of a liberating moment when I got to hang out with Mike over at Will's place. I had seen him drunkenly a few nights before in Athens but we didn't get much of a chance to talk, and I was happy to see that my man still felt we had enough of something between us for real honesty, something I don't get often anymore with most of my friends being relegated to acquaintance status by my living in Norcross as well as general loss of common ground with those here in Norcross with me, sadly. As an aside, that is my fault entirely, but its not really an issue; a buddy is still a buddy when there isn't anything to say. Back to the point, Mike and I discussed our plans and whatnot and I was really touched to see that he cared enough about me to get real with me. "Don't you think that that kind of thing is talent based though, like inborn talent? Do you think you have that?" "I don't know if I do. I think so, as I feel comfortable with this in a way that I never did with music. I hope so, but I have nothing to lose." I was stunned; I saw it was true. I have nothing left to lose. I don't mean this in a depressing way, quite the opposite. I felt liberated to have a friend ask me what I recognise myself so often. I never lose sight of the fact that I have failed at almost everything I have ever done, and that anyone with a head on their shoulders would see the likely outcome with me as a poor, alone old man if things don't work out. I did not expect to be so touched by something so casual, but it is not often that anyone has the decency to be honest with me. It isn't usual to have someone know my past like Mike does though. He has seen me at my worst (like too many others, but this is no place for mass apologies), and I can understand his worry that I may have entered another self-delusional state like so many times before, but I felt no need to explain myself to him. I have known that this is something very different than who I used to be, but it was the first time in a very long time that anyone had been a real friend to me, and it has meant a great deal. I see the logical conclusions to my failures, but I can only live how I can and do what I have no choice in doing. I love it with all I am, but I know what it's failure means as well. Failure is not an option that I will accept though, as I have taken the lesson of my father to see what can become of us who sacrifice our gifts and ambitions for the sake of convenience, or in his case for the sake of another. In my place right now, having nothing to lose is an enviable place to be, and I feel very lucky for where life finds me.
Borat was quite an experience, Grant and I sat in a theater full of elderly couples laughing their asses off at it with us. Joyous!
I miss Grant and his puppy already. They went back up to Athens today. I can't wait till I can get an animal buddy to keep me company around here (and my dad could use one as well, as his only company around here is my mom and OOOOH MY to that.) Until then I have the Marx brothers. They're working pretty damn well!
Mass birthday/kareoke party this weekend in Athens I believe. Sounding gurrrrd. Grant, give that puppy some squishy face for me. And for yourself? KISSESSSSSSS!