Can I get anymore jaded?

[blakeywakey]

I know no one reads this...than k you live journal for being here where I can vent. My latest girlfriend dumped me last night. I was completely under this woman's spell. She made me want to be a better person. I found myself trying to be hyper aware of my thoughts and actions, making sure I'm the best person I could be In front of her. I told her I

Comments

[anonymous]

Respect...if I was told that I was on the ropes before the trip to Germany I would have respected her. I don't have any respect for the way she led me on and wasted my life. I feel bitter and the need to move on...but how? Should I discard a years worth of feelings or hold onto them? Won't I just be fooling myself if I believe those moments were real and genuine? She seems to think our memories together will be forever good memories...to me they are excruciatingly painful and confusing. Was I doing something wrong? Was I too needy? Not needy enough? I tried and failed. I feel I have gained no ex

[blakeywakey]

...I feel I have gained no experience in this relationship, only a step back. I know she doesn't want me, but why would she lie to me? Cowardice...I think I just got it...people are either tough and willing to accept life how it is and live it moment by moment, or fucking cowards that live in fear and in a future that doesn't even exist. I have a choice...to live in fear or love. (Bill Hicks) I'm going to try to live with love but it's just so damn scary.