Contrast and compare between the busy ones, and the ones who don't care.

[blandestsounds]

I'm not really sure who I'm talking to when I write things here. I've been told my posts are too often direct. Not targeting a general audience but a specific person. But thats not really true, I've gone back to read and its usually myself. Completely defeating the purpose of a journal of the online persuasion. And I rarely have anything to say so

Comments

[unarmed_danger]

Don't worry Sean, I'm not sick of you....yet. :) Hell, I feel like I hardly know you, and yet at the same time i feel like i know you really well because the way you describe things is often exactly how i feel about stuff. For instance, I often feel the same way when impending "bad news" is on its way. It never ends up being as tragic as i had imagined, or even worse somewhat hoped, that it could/would be. And yeah, i guess that should bother me more than it does, but what can i do...it's not really my fault i'm a cold heartless bastard, now is it? Anyway, back to you...my professional opinion, since you asked for it, is that you feel like you are in the proverbial "rut". Everything is the same as always, and you're getting tired of it. You're happy with the result of the things you are doing, and maybe even somewhat with the process, but you're not THAT happy with things. And that transfers to you not being happy with you, because who else can YOU blame if YOU are not happy. And somehow, you think that other people might be

[blandestsounds]

thanks. I really don't understand whats going on still. I used to be able to manipulate my emotions pretty well. Showing compassion and interest when I didn't feel it. I guess after everything I've faked this loss of control is what I deserve.

[dissolved_grrl]

i've been in situations similar to the one you explained.. having to continuously blow off people i care about because i had to study, was scheduled a 40-50 work week, or had to finally get some laundry done. if i ever did go out it was to the beach or to a movie, and thats about it. after a semester of this, i decided that, more importantly than getting college completed quickly, or having any more money than necessary is to have fun, and have friends who mean so much more than material accomplishments can. i'd rather look back in twenty years and see that i enjoyed living my life than to see that it only took four years to get a bachelors degree, or had a well rounded bank account.