(no subject)
There's nothing more for me to say the telegram says you'll go away.
eke
Well, Jem ended up apologizing to me, awhile ago. I suppose it's still a relatively poisonous relationship, though. Suppose I'll let things run a natural course, with as few binding expectations as possible.
Matthew made French Onion dip, and we're watching ANTM. About to go to work, and I'm sort of... excited. Bahah, I harness all those feelings and ride.
______ (FROM FALL BREAK): as of today:
I've been doing the October dress project... it's actually sort of more complicated to wear the same thing for an entire week, psychologically, than one would expect. I went through a stage where I felt sort of "trapped" in an odd way. I suppose I shouldn't underestimate that I dress to enforce/rebut a certain mood. But as of now, I'm stuck being dainty and vulnerable. Now I've become relatively numb to caring about my appearance. Although I've become increasingly more body-conscious. I've been embracing the hobo lifestyle. I even moved my desk to be parallel to my desk. I don't even get dressed after I take a shower anymore. Not to be sexual at all, to tell you t he truth. It's just like I get this amazing (Yanet) feeling when the burden of picking out clothes is taken from me.
Serious, but not so serious:
I miss being "artsy." I miss reading... I miss discussing literature. Ironic, right? I miss wandering around in a bored, numb daze... mildly... which constitutes my latter portion of high school. I miss feeling lost and lonely and being extra sensitive to finding people like me,
Well... not really. But the loneliness was a great boost for the complexities of my inner dialogue.
I feel like I always end up in a series of awkward conversations, and situations in general. I think my level of awkwardness may exceed the normal levels for personhood. And I have to wonder if it correlates at all with my appreciation for anything "absurd." I was thinking back on my graduation speech. How anti-climactic... I absolutely loved my speech though. It just gave me eternal laughter... knowing that I'm sitting here, in front of 5 * 400 = 2000 + people talking about day-dreaming. It killed me inside. I didn't even sound profound; sure- but I wasn't nervous, either. I love it so much, every minute that I think about it, I just flutter inside. Also: on this post about west hernando, a girl asked: how do you remember me. And she wasn't even addressing me, but nonetheless I posted "everyone remembers you." That's so weird. Who would say that. It's not profound... but that's why I love it so much. It's enough awkward to widen eyes, and stop the pulsating of the fingers on the keyboard. I just smile and know that if I could pick a life to live, it would most certainly be mine of eternal giggling, and an eternal daze.
eke
Well, Jem ended up apologizing to me, awhile ago. I suppose it's still a relatively poisonous relationship, though. Suppose I'll let things run a natural course, with as few binding expectations as possible.
Matthew made French Onion dip, and we're watching ANTM. About to go to work, and I'm sort of... excited. Bahah, I harness all those feelings and ride.
______ (FROM FALL BREAK): as of today:
I've been doing the October dress project... it's actually sort of more complicated to wear the same thing for an entire week, psychologically, than one would expect. I went through a stage where I felt sort of "trapped" in an odd way. I suppose I shouldn't underestimate that I dress to enforce/rebut a certain mood. But as of now, I'm stuck being dainty and vulnerable. Now I've become relatively numb to caring about my appearance. Although I've become increasingly more body-conscious. I've been embracing the hobo lifestyle. I even moved my desk to be parallel to my desk. I don't even get dressed after I take a shower anymore. Not to be sexual at all, to tell you t he truth. It's just like I get this amazing (Yanet) feeling when the burden of picking out clothes is taken from me.
Serious, but not so serious:
I miss being "artsy." I miss reading... I miss discussing literature. Ironic, right? I miss wandering around in a bored, numb daze... mildly... which constitutes my latter portion of high school. I miss feeling lost and lonely and being extra sensitive to finding people like me,
Well... not really. But the loneliness was a great boost for the complexities of my inner dialogue.
I feel like I always end up in a series of awkward conversations, and situations in general. I think my level of awkwardness may exceed the normal levels for personhood. And I have to wonder if it correlates at all with my appreciation for anything "absurd." I was thinking back on my graduation speech. How anti-climactic... I absolutely loved my speech though. It just gave me eternal laughter... knowing that I'm sitting here, in front of 5 * 400 = 2000 + people talking about day-dreaming. It killed me inside. I didn't even sound profound; sure- but I wasn't nervous, either. I love it so much, every minute that I think about it, I just flutter inside. Also: on this post about west hernando, a girl asked: how do you remember me. And she wasn't even addressing me, but nonetheless I posted "everyone remembers you." That's so weird. Who would say that. It's not profound... but that's why I love it so much. It's enough awkward to widen eyes, and stop the pulsating of the fingers on the keyboard. I just smile and know that if I could pick a life to live, it would most certainly be mine of eternal giggling, and an eternal daze.