extremely bored
whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
you can unscrew a light bulb.
i used to feel like a man trapped in a woman's body, but then i was born...
Two of clinton's sperm were racing towards the cervix and the first one said, "how far do you think it is to the fallopian tubes?"
The other one says, "It cant be too far. I think we just passed the tonsils."
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"You can keep the tip."
Why do nursing homes give viagra to old men?
To stop them from rolling off the bed.
Guy:"Why do you never scream my name when you have an orgasm?
Girl:"Because youre never there."
Why did the blonde have lipstick on her steering wheel?
She was trying to blow the horn.
You know its going to be a bastard of a day if your wife says "Good morning Bill" and your name is Wally.
You know its going to be a bastard of a day if your blind date turns out to be your wife.
Why is it that when a door is open, its ajar-- but when a jar is open, its not a door?
If all the world is a stage, then where does the audience sit?
Confuscious says, man with one chopstick go hungry.
Confuscious says, man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Confuscious says, man who run in front of car get tired.
Donald duck wanted a divorce from Daisy and he was talking to his lawyer.
"I dont understand," said the lawyer, "Daisy's not insane."
"I didnt say she was insane," replied Donald, "i said she was fucking Goofy!"
Why is the Mexican Olympic Team so unsuccessful?
Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim is in America by now.
Two old ladies were out for a walk when a streaker ran past them. One of the old ladies had a stroke. The other one missed.
you can unscrew a light bulb.
i used to feel like a man trapped in a woman's body, but then i was born...
Two of clinton's sperm were racing towards the cervix and the first one said, "how far do you think it is to the fallopian tubes?"
The other one says, "It cant be too far. I think we just passed the tonsils."
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"You can keep the tip."
Why do nursing homes give viagra to old men?
To stop them from rolling off the bed.
Guy:"Why do you never scream my name when you have an orgasm?
Girl:"Because youre never there."
Why did the blonde have lipstick on her steering wheel?
She was trying to blow the horn.
You know its going to be a bastard of a day if your wife says "Good morning Bill" and your name is Wally.
You know its going to be a bastard of a day if your blind date turns out to be your wife.
Why is it that when a door is open, its ajar-- but when a jar is open, its not a door?
If all the world is a stage, then where does the audience sit?
Confuscious says, man with one chopstick go hungry.
Confuscious says, man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Confuscious says, man who run in front of car get tired.
Donald duck wanted a divorce from Daisy and he was talking to his lawyer.
"I dont understand," said the lawyer, "Daisy's not insane."
"I didnt say she was insane," replied Donald, "i said she was fucking Goofy!"
Why is the Mexican Olympic Team so unsuccessful?
Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim is in America by now.
Two old ladies were out for a walk when a streaker ran past them. One of the old ladies had a stroke. The other one missed.